


The Darkest Light

by doremifasorashige



Series: I may be artificially created but that doesn't make me any less real [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cyberpunk, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Amnesia, Background Relationships, Best friends kyungsoo & minseok, Dark Angel AU, Dark Humor, Explicit Language, Gen, Genetically Engineered Beings, Gun Violence, Heavy Angst, Kyungsoo-centric, M/M, Manticore (Dark Angel), Minor Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Post-Apocalypse, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Violence, cyber activist joonmyun, political corruption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-20 14:11:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 108,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11337123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doremifasorashige/pseuds/doremifasorashige
Summary: Seattle, Washington in the year 2019 is not the easiest place to live. The country is suffering through another depression of the likes no one has ever seen. Corruption and violence are the only really ways the laws go, no matter what the big wigs want to tell you. The rich are still rich in their own way, while the poor are poorer than ever.Kyungsoo gets by working as a messenger for JamPony, delivering packages throughout the city. It's not the best job, his boss is a flake and the pay is next to nothing. His apartment isn't actually his, not legally, and more often than not trouble seems to find him. But he can't complain really, Kyungsoo has it easier than most people do today. At least he doesn't have a family to look after, it's just him. The only problem is staying under the radar from Manticore. He's managed it for the last ten years so far, but you can never be too careful when you're an escaped genetically enhanced super solider from a secretly government project.





	1. Part I: The Calm Before The Storm

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings and salutations! This fic has been a long work in progress that I'm so happy to finally be able to post, it's been a big part of my life for the past two years (or so) and I'm so proud to have it done and to be able to share it with you all. A huge thank you to my beta for sitting with me and holding my hand throughout this whole fic, I couldn't have done it without you. Also think you to the other supporting friends that have cheered me on while writing this. I hope all of you enjoy reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it. 
> 
> That being said I do have a few orders of business to cover real quick before we move on to the fun part:  
> -This is an AU for/based off of the 2000-2001 TV show Dark Angel. There are very minor characters (bad guys) from the show that I have named in this fic, but most are either original, or otherwise Kpop idols.  
> -Part one of this fic has an episodic pacing. It is broken up into 3 "episode" like sections, with scenes in those sections. There is an intermission section/section which takes place in Junmyeon's POV but it's only for that section. Part two is once more Kyungsoo centric and it's more of a straight shot from start to finish without an episodes  
> -While the underlying plot of this fic is based off of the TV Show, many things alternate from the path so if you have no idea what the show is, don't worry about it, just enjoy reading~  
> -I have tried my best to put all the warnings I know portray to this fic, but I may have missed some, so if there is something in here that triggers you so bothers you in anyway you feel there should be a warning for it, please let me know.

Kyungsoo gently sits himself on the edge of Junmyeon’s desk, watching the other as he rolls around in his wheelchair, wireless earpiece for his phone in his ear. Junmyeon stops in the path between his so called office and living room and reers his wheelchair up on its back wheels, balancing it just so for a few seconds before it starts to tip forward once more. Kyungsoo has to force himself not to laugh at the sight.

After making sure he’s back on solid ground Junmyeon rolls his chair forward and backward a bit more, aimlessly moving it until he stops mostly in his office space. He reaches into his lap and pulls his cell phone up and hits dial.

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes just a bit, tilting his head as he watches Junmyeon nervously fiddle with the phone, probably as it begins to call the number. There’s a few tense seconds before Kyungsoo’s pager goes off, startling Junmyeon, who nearly topples out of his chair. Kyungsoo does not suppress his laughter this time.

He’s still smiling when Junmyeon rights himself once more, ripping the earpiece out of his ear and tossing it on his desk, missing by a few feet. “We need to get you a bell,” he states, frown on his face as he rolls his chair closer to Kyungsoo who shrugs.

“Then where would the fun of sneaking into your house be?” He asks and crosses his arms.

“Sometimes,” Junmyeon says, “I think you enjoy causing me pain.”

“Not at all.” He replies, smirk probably saying otherwise. “You rang?”

Junmyeon licks his lips. “Yeah,” he says and rolls his chair away from Kyungsoo once more and towards his computers. “I think I got a hit on some Manticore related stuff.”

Kyungsoo’s blood runs cold at the mention of Manticore. It’s been so long since he’s thought about that place and his fellow soldiers. His friends. His family. The ones he left with were his family and meant the fucking world to him. Once upon a time Kyungsoo wanted to find them, wanted to be with them again and feel like he really belonged. But then things got complicated, people from Manticore started to look for him, those looking into it started to die and Kyungsoo just didn’t see the point in it anymore. Sometimes, he thinks he’s better off alone, maybe he wasn’t meant to fit in here.

He swallows thickly around the lump in his throat. “Oh?”

Junmyeon looks back at Kyungsoo over his shoulder. “Hey,” he says, “if you don’t want to do this, we don’t have to.”

Kyungsoo’s gaze flits around on Junmyeon’s face, searching. “No,” he says eventually. “No, tell me what you found.”

“Okay.” He turns back to his computer and clicks around a bit. “It’s not much, just a few leads. I figured you’d want to know.”

Kyungsoo offers a small, weak smile and nods in agreement. He does want to know, always wants to know about his family. He just isn’t sure if it’s worth it, to put Junmyeon in this type of danger to keep looking into the hell hole of a lab Kyungsoo was created in. He’s already putting Junmyeon at such a risk as it is. It’s his fault he’s in that damn chair to begin with.

Somedays it’s just so much work to even think about sticking around. He feels like everything he touches crumbles.

“There’s a special tattoo parlor in Sector Seven, right on the edge. A contact of mine was able to get into the records and it turns out that someone recently got a tattoo removed.” Junmyeon turns his chair so he’s facing Kyungsoo.

“And let me guess,” he says, “it was a tattoo of a barcode.”

“Yeah.” He fiddles with a pen before going back to the computer screen. “The store doesn’t have any security cameras, but I can have someone look into it a bit more if you want. Maybe we can get some physical details on them.”

Kyungsoo stares off into space, mulling it over. Does he want to pursue this? To find out who it is with this barcode? There’s a chance it’s unrelated, just someone who thought it was cool to have a so called price tag tattooed on their skin. When he focuses once more, Junmyeon is looking at him carefully as if he’s trying not to frighten a small animal.

A small animal that just so happens to be a genetically engineered killing machine.

Kyungsoo slides off the edge of Junmyeon’s desk and puts his hands into the pockets of his sweatshirt. “Let me get back to you on that?” he asks, backing towards to edge of the room.

“Sure,” he agrees. “Did you want something earlier? Since you showed up and everything.”

He shakes his head and offers Junmyeon a wry smile. “Nothing important. I gotta jet though. Should’ve been at work like, twenty minutes ago. Catch you later?” He doesn’t wait for an answer and slips out of the room.

Kyungsoo dashes down from Junmyeon’s apartment and hops onto his bike. There was a reason he stopped by, but with reality being slapped in his face once again he didn’t see the need to bring it up. He needs to stop wasting time on Junmyeon anyway, one of these days, Ryeowook will probably fire him for real instead of just saying it to say it.

“You’re late, again,” Ryeowook says as Kyungsoo rolls in on his bike twenty minutes later. “You’re always late. One of these days that’s not going to cut it.”

Kyungsoo flashes him a smile, fake as half the information on his application. “And one day all of us will have real jobs and will never have to listen to you again.” He leans his bike up against a wall and heads over to his locker next to Minseok’s, who just laughs and shakes his head. “What crawled up his ass today?”

“The same thing that has been there every day since day one.”

Kyungsoo makes a face but can’t help but laugh.

“Maybe someone should get him a girl,” Chanyeol says, draping himself over Minseok’s shoulder. “That might mellow him out a bit.”

Minseok and Kyungsoo both snort. “Please, like any female is going to want to hang around _that_ for longer than necessary,” Minseok says.

Chanyeol shrugs. “He could just need someone in his own age bracket.”

Kyungsoo pulls his bag on and clips his sector pass to the strap along with his beeper. “I highly doubt that would help him out. I think Ryeowook is just doomed to be miserable and thus make our lives miserable. Why mess with the natural order of things?” He slams his locker shut. “And besides, where would we get our kicks from if he was _normal_ , there’d be no one to mess with.”

“He’s got a point, Chanyeol.” Minseok shrugs him off and follows Kyungsoo to where their boss is handing out packages to his ‘low life collection of ingrate messengers’ as Ryeowook likes to call them, among other things.

“All I’m sayin’,” Chanyeol says, following them out of JamPony and onto the street where his bike is. “Is if he had a lady friend, maybe Ryeowook wouldn’t be such a bad guy.”

Kyungsoo gives him a look. “Have you been smoking today?”

“No, why?”

“Because, you’re way too invested in this for it to be normal.” Kyungsoo hops onto his bike and starts to take off, with Minseok and Chanyeol not far behind him.

“Come on guys, why is it so wrong of me to want to make JamPony a better place for us all.”

Minseok sighs and shakes his head, weaving between the cars along with Kyungsoo. “Because, then people are going to want to stay there, and then if people want to stay there Ryeowook might start expecting more of us. I’m not doing anymore for him than I have to.”

“Pretty sure that’s not how an actual job works, Minseok.”

“Well, when you work for barely minimum wage for a guy that’s a total flake, you learn to take matters into your own hands,” Kyungsoo says.

The three of them come up to an intersection with a red light and wait idly for it to change. “So, who’s turn is it to pay at Crash’s tonight?”

“Well,” Kyungsoo says, adjusting his grip on his handle bars, “I paid last time so it’s not me. Though, if you want to make a bet on a game of pool we can solve it that way, just as long as you know I will kick your ass.” He takes off as soon as the light changes before Minseok and Chanyeol even get a chance, but he doesn’t miss Chanyeol’s soft mutter of “why am I always the loser?”

 

*

 

Kyungsoo enjoys the feeling of his motorcycle between his legs. That feeling of raw power as he speeds through the dark streets of Seattle when most of the city is sleeping. Somedays it’s what he lives for, it makes his life and he wouldn’t give it up for all the freedom in the world. Giving up his bike wouldn’t be worth having the normal genetics of every other schmuck in this town.

He’s had this bike for as long as he’s been driving, which is probably a lot longer than normal. The Pulse fucks things like that up though. The country has more important things to worry about than kids learning how to drive before the age of sixteen. Worked in his advantage in the end.

It’s his baby, his most prized possession.

Back when he was first leaving LA, Kyungsoo ran into a compromising position. There were some guys, couple of thugs who thought it would be fun to mess with the small kid with a pretty face. Kyungsoo’s always heard about what a pretty face he’s got. It’s an old topic, an old wound, and no matter what he’ll always resent it just a bit, even if it’s helped him get out of a jam or two.

They wanted to have some fun, just a good night. Offered Kyungsoo a good time with no complications. He was only sixteen at the time, barely, hard to know those things when you don’t have an actual birthday. Kyungsoo wasn’t interested, his attention wasn’t on sex, it was on survival.

He lead them on a bit, looking for an opening then gave them the slip. One of the guys had a beautiful Ninja 650. Road like a dream. He snagged the keys from a pocket and drove off. That bike was his first steal and the only thing he cared about for the longest time. It’s his queen and he treats it as such.

Kyungsoo drove that bike from LA to Hollywood, where he met Minseok, and then they both made it up to Seattle from there. Minseok is the only person he would put his life on the line for, they’ve been together for so long. They’ve been through a lot together, started off with nothing in a city they didn’t know. If Kyungsoo didn’t have his bike, Minseok would be number one on his list, as it is, he’s number two, but Minseok understands.

“I never understand how you get that monster up here,” Minseok says as Kyungsoo quietly slides into their shared apartment, pushing his motorcycle through the doorway.

Kyungsoo smiles at him as he kicks the stand down. “It’s amazing the things we do for true love.”

He snorts and rolls his eyes, turning back to his room to snag a blanket. “Right,” he says. “And what if you ever finally get a man? Then what?”

Shrugging his leather jacket off Kyungsoo tosses it into his room, along with his gloves. “I don’t know,” he says, making his way over to the couch. “My bike has always come first, I can’t think of anyone taking that place.”

“That’s a damn shame,” Minseok says, but he still understands better than most would. They sit in companionable silence for a while, Minseok sharing his blanket, even though Kyungsoo isn’t particularly cold. He thinks it’s just a thing they do now, after living out of each other’s pockets for two years they can’t not just curl around each other whenever. “So what did you get up to this evening?”

“Oh you know,” he waves a hand in dismissal. “I took out some mobsters and saved this really fine guy who wanted to thank me by offering me a job as his official bodyguard, but I couldn’t just up and leave you here! And then where would Chanyeol be without the two of us? And, oh my god, could you imagine what JamPony would be without the three of us? Ryeowook would be tearing his hair out.”

Laughing, Minseok shoves Kyungsoo off the couch and onto the floor. “Where do you even come up with this shit?”

He shrugs. “Guess growing up in a harsh world relatively alone gives you an active imagination.”

“ _Clearly._ ” They share a laugh. “Well, I for one am glad you would stick out this hell hole for me,” Minseok says eventually. “Not many people would do that for anyone. Especially if someone that had money _and_ looks was willing to put it out there.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “I’m not interested in all that. Long as I have hot water and a roof over my head I’d stick it out anywhere with you. You’re my best friend, and if I didn’t leave you by the side of the road two years ago, I sure as hell am not gonna do it now.”

“You’re so backwards sometimes, Kyungsoo,” he says, shoving at Kyungsoo once more, successfully messing up his hair. “But I feel the same.” Minseok steals his blanket back from Kyungsoo and wraps it around himself. “Get some sleep, I’m not covering for your ass again if you’re late in the morning.”

“Please,” he responds. “Ryeowook wouldn’t know what to do with himself if I showed up on time.”

Kyungsoo sits there, long after Minseok goes back to bed, soaking up the low light of their apartment and what slips in from the moon outside. This isn’t the life he ever pictured himself having, but it’s not bad. Not when he has Minseok to tough it out with. He doesn’t feel as alone, even when there’s things about him and his past that Minseok doesn’t know.

He thinks about telling him sometimes, bringing up where he really came from. “ _I was born out of a test tube,_ ” probably isn’t a great conversation starter though, not even after two years of friendship. It doesn’t stop him from wondering though. Kyungsoo thinks that if anyone could handle it, Minseok can.

Someday, Kyungsoo will broach the subject. When the time is right.

 

*

 

Kyungsoo stares blankly at the file in his hand. He can feel Junmyeon’s gaze on him as he sits on the couch, feet curled up under him. He feels as if he’s suddenly thrown into a time warp, thrust back to when he was young and didn’t know better, when the world was this large magical place of freedom beyond the perimeter of Manticore. In the file, on the very top sits a picture of Donghae. His young face stares back at Kyungsoo.

“This looks like a mug shot,” he says softly, voice rough. “All of our photos looked like mug shots really.” Kyungsoo swallows around the lump in his throat and rubs his finger over the glossy paper. He remembers little about Donghae, they were close, just like everyone in their unit but in the end Donghae didn’t leave with the rest of them. Kyungsoo doesn’t know why, and ten years later it just makes him question his life even more.

A warm hand presses against Kyungsoo’s knee and he comes back to himself with a jolt. “Kyungsoo?” Junmyeon asks gently.

He clears his throat. “This is Donghae, we, uh, were in a unit together. Me, Jongin, Jongdae... We were family. But Donghae stayed behind.” Kyungsoo licks his lips. “He bailed at the last second and none of us knew why.” He flips through the file more. It’s filled with various things that Donghae has been up to since then. “So, he’s been arrested,” Kyungsoo manages to say eventually.

“Seems so.” Junmyeon takes the file from him and flips through to the recent arrest record. “My friend, Detective Sung, was the first to figure out he was connected to different small crimes. One such being not paying for a tattoo removal a few months back. They didn’t catch him that time, but it appears that your friend has been making himself known.” He tosses the file onto the coffee table. “It’s not something I’d really worry about, seems like he’s only into petty crimes.”

“He’s just trying to get by, just like the rest of us,” Kyungsoo cuts in, a bit defensively.

Junmyeon’s face takes a complicated look on, he adjusts his glasses most likely to cover it up. “Yes, but there are other ways to go about it.”

Kyungsoo uncurls from himself and stands up, beginning to pace Junmyeon’s large, spacious living room. “I hate to burst your bubble, but it’s not exactly easy to get a job when you have no official records. It’s even harder to get a place to live to put on an application.”

“You did it,” Junmyeon points out.

Kyungsoo stops before the windows facing the view of the city. He loves it up here, in Junmyeon’s apartment. The view is one of the best. For a second, Kyungsoo can pretend that people aren’t struggling down there, many of them homeless and helpless. He can forget that he’s just a face, not really human, but it’s hard when it’s being shoved down his throat.

“I also choose to be out here,” he admits eventually, not moving from in front the windows. “Donghae backed out, in the end he didn’t want this life.” When Kyungsoo turns back to face Junmyeon he can’t read the expression he’s wearing. “So you’ve got to ask yourself, what happened to force him out here in the first place?”

Junmyeon seems to get it then. He looks down at his lap, hands sitting there, fingers folded together. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about it like that.”

“No,” Kyungsoo says, agreeing tone. “You weren’t.” He walks back over to the table and picks up the file, flipping it back to Donghae’s arrest papers. “I’m going to get him out. I’ll fix this. He’s my responsibility.” He tosses it back on the table and heads for the door, not bothering with a goodbye.

Junmyeon doesn’t seem to get the hint though, that he’s done with this conversation and this stifling environment. He wants to hop on his bike and ride around town, feel the thrum of the motor under him. Kyungsoo can hear the soft sound of his chair on the hardwood floor all the way to the door. “I never said that,” he says.

Rolling his eyes, Kyungsoo scoffs. “It was implied.”

“You know that’s not what I meant.” He grabs Kyungsoo’s arm, a weak attempt at forcing him to stop. They both know that if he wanted, Kyungsoo could break from his grip. “I only told you because I wanted you to know. You don’t have to do anything about it if you don’t want to.”

He stares at Junmyeon’s hand on his wrist, his delicate fingers against his skin. Kyungsoo closes his eyes and forces himself to calm down, taking deep, calming breaths in through his nose and out through his mouth. Junmyeon’s grip starts to go lax on his wrist, fingers loosening around him, slowly sliding down until meeting with the soft flesh of his palm. Kyungsoo twists his hand just a bit, allowing himself to carefully take hold of Junmyeon’s hand.

“I know,” he says finally, squeezing Junmyeon’s hand once, putting as much meaning as he can into the contact. “But I want to.” Kyungsoo lets his hand slip from Junmyeon’s and turns around, slipping out of the apartment as quietly as he had come.

 

*

 

No matter where he is, the inside of a police station looks pretty much the same. Dirty, dark, and just this side of under funded with rude, invasive cops that don’t know how to keep their hands to themselves when dealing with a woman. Kyungsoo has never been happier to have a dick between his legs than times like these, and he’s not even on the wrong side of the law for once. Go figure.

He cautiously approaches an officer, trying to making himself look as innocent as possible. Somehow it always works, and if he didn’t fall back on it so much, Kyungsoo would be worried on how others view him.

“Hey, um, my cousin was brought in here the other day, I believe,” he says softly, fidgeting just a little bit, messing with the sleeve of his long sleeve shirt. “I was wondering if I could see him?”

The cop looks Kyungsoo over, a smirk forming on his face. “Cousin, huh?” He pops the gum he’s chewing on and reclines back in his chair. “You sure he was brought here, kid?”

Kyungsoo grits his teeth. ‘Kid’, he hates being called ‘kid’. He is not a child, nor anywhere near in age of one. He’s almost twenty. He’s pretty sure... “Oh, um,” he pretends to frantically search his pockets. “I’m pretty sure. The phone call was short, I might’ve gotten the details wrong.” When he comes up empty, Kyungsoo shrugs in a ‘what can you do’ motion. “Is there anyway I could check to see if he’s here?”

Chewing his gum slowly, the cop looks him over again. He can feel his skeezy eyes giving him a good once over, then looking again for the hell of it. The sick fucker must have a thing for smaller guys. Would figure. “Sure thing, kid, I think I can help you out.” He stands from his chair, and it creaks under his weight. The officer isn’t exactly heavy, falling into a more middle set category. His frame is lean, muscle on the thicker side. It’s obvious that he doesn’t just slap people around because he’s a cop, but because he likes to point out he is physically capable.

The sleeze ball cop leads Kyungsoo from the bullpen to the holding cells, all the while popping his gum and walking with a swagger that makes Kyungsoo itch to ram his head into the large brick walls. He refrains, not wanting to end up in a holding cell himself. That would just be lovely, Junmyeon would have a fucking field day.

“This cousin of yours got a name?” the cop drawls out, swinging the ring of keys around his finger. “Or do you forget that as well?” He throws a dirty grin over his shoulder to Kyungsoo and it makes his skin crawl.

He forces himself to think back to the police report Junmyeon showed him, trying to remember the name Donghae gave when he was arrested. He can’t remember though, so Kyungsoo takes a stab in the dark and says, “Donghae.”

The cop snorts. “Yeah, we had a guy of that name brought in. Petty theft they caught him for. Looks like it wasn’t his first time around the block.” He leads Kyungsoo to a cell where Donghae is laid out on a cot on his back, legs crossed at his ankles. “Here’s your _cousin_ ,” he says, spitting out the word as if it makes him dirty just to say it.

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo replies, not taking his eyes off Donghae who hasn’t moved an inch, looking back at him as if they see each other all the time.

He hears the cop pop his gum once more before he feels fingers brush over the back of his neck. “Let me know if you need something,” he says breathily against Kyungsoo’s ear. “Wouldn’t want to leave you to the hands of scum like this.”

Donghae snorts from his cot, rolling his eyes. Kyungsoo wants to join him in the notion, but holds back for the time being, waiting until he’s positive the cop is gone, the door between the holding cells and the bullpen closed fully and locked.

“Look who it is,” Donghae says, finally. “Little Kyungsoo.” He lifts himself off the cot and strides over to the edge of the cell, hanging his arms outside of the bars. “It’s been a long time.”

Kyungsoo takes in the lines of his face and the way it’s changed, how he grew up, the things that Manticore could’ve possibly done to him. “About ten years,” he agrees.

Donghae smiles, it’s not as warm as Kyungsoo remembers it, but it’s not empty either, and that allows him to breathe easier. “You’ve grown up.”

He shrugs. “Happens.”

“Oh Kyungsoo,” Donghae says as he pushes away from the bars and begins to pace the cell. “I’ve really missed you and your wit. It’s always been amusing.”

The corner of his mouth tips up just a bit. “As much as I’d love to reminisce with you.” He scans the room for cameras, making sure to double check just in case. “We need to get you out of here. You’re lucky it’s me that found and not HyunJong.” He reaches into his jeans pocket and pulls a lock pick kit out and starts fiddling around, not entirely sure if this is going to work.

“HyunJong?” Donghae says. “You mean he’s still chasing after your ass?”

Kyungsoo glares at his work instead of Donghae. “No, he’s just going around for an extended vacation. Yes, dumbass. Genetically enhanced soldier worth millions of dollars here, he’s gonna keep looking for me.” He hears the lock pop open and silently thanks whatever power that be that allowed this to be his luck.

Slipping the kit back into his pocket Kyungsoo motions for Donghae to follow him, looking for a backway out of the station. “I don’t think we’ll have a lot of time to get out,” he keeps his voice low creeping around a corner of empty cells toward a door. The handle turns with ease, and he shoots a look behind them to make sure the coast is clear.

“I’ve gone through more training than you,” Donghae reminds him, “I think I can handle a few power corrupt cops.”

“Good,” Kyungsoo replies, “then I expect you to keep up.” He bolts down the next hall, not looking back to see if Donghae’s on his tail. He doesn’t have time to babysit, not if he’s going to be cocky about it. If he gets caught again Kyungsoo is not bailing his ass out. He does have a life to lead. Just because he has that itch under his skin, that yearning desire to have his family back, doesn’t mean Kyungsoo wants to put everything he’s gotten for himself at risk now.

 

*

 

They’re walking into the elevator when Donghae speaks next, his voice calm and nonchalant. “How did you find me anyway?” He asks, eyes tracking Kyungsoo as he presses the button the the penthouse apartment then leans back against the elevator. “Pretty sure I haven’t come into contact with any other transgenics, X5’s or not.”

Kyungsoo forces himself not to laugh, but he rolls his eyes anyway. He doesn’t answer Donghae until they reach the top and the elevator digs open. “You’re not the stealthiest.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” He questions, slightly indignant.

“Not only did you allow it to be put on _record_ that you’re getting a barcode tattoo removed- Which, real genius, might I add. You’re going to get so far.” Kyungsoo stumbles when he feels Donghae shove him from behind, feet tripping up a bit at the sudden movement. He whips around to glare at Donghae then, finally letting his annoyance at just how stupid this all is take over. “And then,” he nearly shouts, “to top it all off you get arrested for petty theft.” He tosses his hands up into the air, as if asking why me god.

Donghae narrows his eyes and crosses his arms defensively. “Do you have a point you’re getting to?”

“Only a transgenic who hasn’t been out here long enough would risk exposure like that.”

“Will you keep your voice down?” Donghae hisses, looking cautiously around the main hall of Junmyeon’s apartment. “Someone might hear you.”

Kyungsoo hears Junmyeon roll in before he speaks. “Little late for that, don’t you think?” He looks at Donghae blankly, with a slight air of caution. “I’m the one that tipped Kyungsoo off on your adventures.”

Donghae narrows his eyes at Junmyeon then turns his glare into Kyungsoo. “What is this? How does he know about us?”

“He’s a friend, Donghae.”

“A friend,” he scoffs. “And you say I’m exposing myself? When you let some clown know what we are?” Donghae looks Kyungsoo over then glances at Junmyeon before smirking. “Are you two fucking? Is that it?”

Kyungsoo blanches, jerking back just slightly but enough for Donghae’s smirk to widen. “What?” Junmyeon and Kyungsoo say in tandem. “What gave you that idea?” Kyungsoo continues.

Shrugging casually, Donghae places his hands in his pants pockets. They’re baggy and ride low on his hips, making Kyungsoo suspect he’s been wearing them a while, even without noticing the off color they have. He walks around the small space, striding carefully and slowly, shooting these smarmy looks at Kyungsoo. “Why else would you tell someone?”

“Because we’re friends and I trust him.”

“Trust,” he repeats, spitting out the word as if it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. “Funny you say that. I trusted you once,” he turns away from Kyungsoo and walks the length of the hall back toward the elevator. “I trusted you like you were my brother and then you, along with the others, leave and everything turns into this nightmare for the rest of us.”

Kyungsoo takes a step toward Donghae, slow and careful, making sure his shoes hits the floor noisily. “It was your choice to stay behind, Donghae,” he says. “But believe me, I had no idea that would happen.”

He turns around abruptly, giving Kyungsoo the saddest eyes ever. “You shouldn’t have left Kyungsoo,” he says softly. “None of you should have left. Everything would’ve been fine if you had stayed. We’d all still be together, and be a family.”

“What? You can’t honestly think that, can you? It was horrible there, you know this.”

Donghae grabs Kyungsoo’s arm, gripping it tightly, enough that it stings. “It was, but it never would’ve gotten worse, Kyungsoo!”

Kyungsoo looks from Donghae’s face to his hand. He looks his lips slowly. “You’re hurting me,” he says evenly. “Let me go, and we can talk about this calmly.” He takes his free hand and places it over Donghae’s on his arm. “I can help you, you have to believe me.” Kyungsoo puts as much sincerity into his words as he can, hoping that Donghae can see he really wants to be there for him just by the look in his eyes. “Please, Donghae.”

Slowly, Kyungsoo can feel the grip on his arm loosening until Donghae’s just touching him. Behind him, Junmyeon is radiating off endless tension and worry and it’s putting Kyungsoo on edge.

“I don’t know what to believe anymore,” Donghae admits in a quiet voice.

“Okay,” he says. “Okay. Just.” He pats Donghae’s shoulder then moves from in front of him and to the elevator, pressing the down button. “I’m gonna take him somewhere else,” Kyungsoo says to Junmyeon. “Maybe he’ll calm down.” He pulls Donghae into the elevator.

He never should’ve brought Donghae here in the first place, stupid mistake. Back in Manticore they were always told how important their existence was, how people wouldn’t understand what they were. They were told how people would lash out when they discovered that the government was making super soldiers. Kyungsoo doesn’t think that speech has changed at all in the last ten years, at least not lightened up in any sense. He can see from the way Donghae holds himself, glances at Junmyeon that the idea of people knowing what he is terrifies him in ways that it shouldn’t.

Junmyeon rolls his chair closer, but still keeps a respectable distance. “Be careful,” he says before the doors close. Kyungsoo nods even though it can’t be seen.

 

*

 

Sometimes the door to Kyungsoo’s apartment sticks. It’s always at the worst times. Like when he’s in the middle of a seizure, or when he’s about to go steal something really big and really expensive. Or like now, when Donghae is standing behind him, this wreck of a person.

He pushes against the door, hard, nearly bruising his shoulder with the amount of effort he’s putting into it. “Stupid door,” Kyungsoo says, smiling weakly over his shoulder. “It’s just the worst sometimes.” He knocked his shoulder against it once more, putting twice as much effort into it, nearly knocking it off it’s hinges.

Stumbling into the room, Kyungsoo narrowly missing falling flat on his face thanks to Minseok. Oh shit, Minseok. “Are you drunk?” He asks, an amused tone to his voice. His hands are wrapped around Kyungsoo’s biceps, holding him steady. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so unsteady in my life.”

Laughing weakly, Kyungsoo rights himself and runs a hand through his hair. “Me? Drunk?” He waves it off. “Don’t be silly.” Being drunk right now would be so much easier though. He clears his throat. “Um, this is my, uh cousin, apparently.”

Donghae waves from his position by the door, but his face is blank. Of course he’s going to make this difficult.

“Trouble maker, this one.” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and pulls Minseok aside to have a quiet discussion. “I know this is like, really bad timing and I hate to do this but do you mind if he stays with us a for a few days?”

Minseok shrugs. “Sure thing.”

“I’ll understand if you say no, we don’t actually have the room and, gosh, I’m just bringing him here out of--” Kyungsoo cuts himself off and blinks slowly. “I--what?”

“You sure you’re okay?” Minseok laughs. “You’re so out of it today.” He pats Kyungsoo on the arm and squeezes his shoulder. “I said it’s fine, I don’t mind.”

Breathing out a sigh of relief Kyungsoo fights the urge to hug Minseok tight. “Thanks, really.” He chews on his lip again. “I’ll make it up to you. Buy at Crash next time, sound good?”

“I’m down.”

“Awesome, great.” He walks back over to Donghae then drags him to his room, closing the door behind them. “Okay, so here’s the ground rules. You find a job, you stay out of trouble, and you keep the Manticore shit on the down low. Understand?”

Donghae flops himself back on Kyungsoo’s bed, stretching out and relaxing. “Nice bed,” he deflects. “It’s really comfy. What are these sheets? Silk? Two hundred-thread count? Three hundred?” He rubs his face against the sheets, letting out a deep sigh. “So much better than Manticore issued.”

Kyungsoo fights the urge to tear his hair out. “Donghae,” he growls. “Now is not the time to be asking about my _sheets_.” He goes over to his bedside table and opens the drawer, digging around for some money. “Never is the time to be asking about my sheets. That’s weird.”

Snorting, Donghae rolls onto his stomach and watches Kyungsoo. “So, what's the deal with this one?”

“This one?” He questions, not putting his full attention on Donghae.

“Pretty boy out there.”

Kyungsoo raises an eyebrow. “You mean Minseok? He’s my best friend.”

“So you’re not fucking him either?”

He lets out a frustrated sound and slams the drawer shut, glaring at Donghae. “Why are you so interested in my sex life?” Kyungsoo ruffles his hair, pushing it out of his face. He probably needs a haircut, but now is not the time to worry about it. “Have you fucked anyone recently?” He walks over to his dresser. There’s got to be money in here somewhere, he knows there is. At least there should be. Did they pay the rent already?

There’s the sound of shuffling sheets and Kyungsoo really wants to shove Donghae onto the floor. Just because he doesn’t sleep, doesn’t mean he wants someone in his bed, rolling in his sheets.

Unless he’s having sex with them. Then it’s okay. But that isn’t the point.

“I wouldn’t be opposed. Just haven’t seen anyone I like yet.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at his sock drawer. “Well don’t start looking now. Getting laid is the least of your worries.”

“And tell me Kyungsoo,” Donghae says, rising to his feet to stand in Kyungsoo’s space. “What should I be worried about?”

He shoves that drawer shut as well, and turning to give Donghae a dark look. “You mean aside from the fact I just broke your ass out of jail? Or how about the fact that fucking HyunJong Kim could be hunting you down right now? Or even better, how about the fact you have no money and nowhere to go? Just another homeless face on the streets of Seattle.”

Donghae clenches his jaw, holding his ground as he stares at Kyungsoo. Things could go either way right about now, and while Kyungsoo wouldn’t hesitate to lay his ass down, he doesn’t want to fight Donghae. “I thought I could stay with you,” he says eventually, voice low and soft to Kyungsoo’s ears. He looks concerned though, worried that maybe he’s overstepping some boundaries. Kyungsoo doesn’t tell him that he isn’t, even though everything is screaming at him to do so.

He clenches his fists, flexing his fingers before letting out a breath. “Well yeah, but you can’t stay here forever, Donghae.”

“Why?”

“Why?” He parrots back. “Because I can’t take care of you.”

Donghae’s face takes on a complicated expression. “You don’t have to. We can take care of each other. Just like at Manticore. Go someplace else, earn money. Anything.”

Kyungsoo’s tempted to agree to this. He’s always tempted to just leave one day, vanish in the middle of the night on his bike and never come back. “I can’t. I have a life here.”

“A life,” Donghae repeats. He looks around Kyungsoo’s room, the sparse decorating and dark, stained walls. He knows it isn’t much, that it isn’t ideal, but this is where Kyungsoo lives. He worked hard to find a job, a place to live at. He doesn’t care if technically they’re squatters, that there’s no way he’d ever make enough money to _have_ an apartment. This is home. Donghae licks his lips and offers a weak smile. “Can I get one?”

Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh a little at that. “Yeah, I think we can find you one,” he says. “Don’t worry.” All he wants is to help Donghae, his family, to get something of their own. To have a small slice of happiness or be content like he is. Some days, he wishes things were better, but most days Kyungsoo knows that things could certainly be worse.

Hopefully by the times he’s done, Donghae will realizes that as well.

 

*

 

“Hey, Normal,” Kyungsoo drops by the package pick up area at JamPony a few days later. “Got a question for you.”

Ryeowook looks up from his clipboard, an unimpressed look on his face. “Don’t give me nicknames, I’m not one of your little lowlife buddies.” He waves at the general direction of the other messengers and looks back at his clipboard. “What do you want?”

“That’s probably the most flattering nickname you have,” he says but shrugs anyway. “Was wondering if you had any job openings. Got someone that needs the help.”

Donghae waves when Ryeowook glances up once more. “I could really use this. Please.” He plasters on a fake smile that makes Ryeowook roll his eyes.

“Because I need more useless people looking for handouts here.”

“That’s a little harsh, Wookie,” Chanyeol says, sliding up to the counter. “We are some of the most hard working people you will ever have.”

Ryeowook tosses a package at Chanyeol but doesn’t bother to look at him. “And yet you’re all still a bunch of losers.” He turns away from the three of them and walks over to a filing cabinet. Chanyeol makes a face at Ryeowook behind his back before riding off on his bike, slapping Kyungsoo on the back in passing. “Fill this out,” Ryeowook says, handing Donghae a wrinkled piece of paper. He hands a package to Kyungsoo then waves the two of them off.

“Well then,” Donghae says, following Kyungsoo to his locker. “He’s...friendly.”

Minseok snorts, closing his own locker as the two of them approach. “That’s one way of putting it.”

“He’s an ass, but there’s probably some form of a heart left in him somewhere.” Kyungsoo opens up his own locker and pulls out his bag, swinging it over his shoulder. “It’s minimum wage, but it’ll do for now.” He tosses a pen to Donghae the closes his locker. “There’s a place about a block away, we can meet there for lunch. Minseok will probably be there before me, but check around noon-ish.” He starts to walk away then back tracks. “Oh, and, if Chanyeol comes back by the time you’re done with that, ask him to show you the ropes. He’s the tall one.” Kyungsoo waves a hand high above his head to signify Chanyeol’s height before skipping out fast, lest he hear Ryeowook’s bitching.

 

*

 

Kyungsoo realizes he shouldn’t get used to things, nothing ever stays the same, not here. But for once he feels okay about his life, which is a strange feeling. He’s not going to question it though, he’s just going to enjoy it because who knows how long it’ll last.

“You seem happy,” Junmyeon says when Kyungsoo turns up to his apartment, letting himself in.

Kyungsoo smiles and shrugs, taking off his jacket and tossing it on the couch. “What don’t I have to be happy about? I have a job, a place to live, an awesome best friend. _Family_ again.” He heads for the kitchen in search of something to eat. “Life is fucking good.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” Junmyeon follows, rolling his chair in the room. “We should celebrate.”

“Yeah?” Kyungsoo opens the fridge and finds nothing he’s really interested in eating. “You gonna cook?”

Junmyeon laughs. “I could, if you want.” He heads toward a rack of wines and picks one off. “I was thinking more along the lines of this, though.” He holds the bottle out to Kyungsoo, who takes it like it’s no big deal. “That is a bottle of Pre-Pulse _Chateau Montelena, Estate Cabernet Sauvignon Imperial_ , made in 1999 from California.”

Kyungsoo turns the bottle in his hands. “This has got to be expensive.”

With a shrug, Junmyeon takes the bottle from him and rolls his chair over to one of the counters, opening a drawer to pull out a bottle opener. “It’s not all that impressive.”

“Uh huh.” Kyungsoo grabs two wine glasses then sits himself at the tall island counter table that Junmyeon has and Kyungsoo still isn’t sure what to call it. Rich people and their weird furniture, he swears. “It’s nothing at all,” he says. “Just _Pre-Pulse_.”

“Would you like me to get something else your highness?” He places the bottle on the tabletop but doesn’t let go just yet.

“No, no, it’s fine.”

Junmyeon nods and slides the bottle a little farther away before lifting himself with his arms into the high chair at the table. He lets out a sigh once he’s situated then takes the bottle and opens it, pouring some into the two glasses. “To happiness,” he says, holding up his glass.

Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh at that, raising his glass as well, gently knocking it against Junmyeon’s own.

When he takes a sip, it’s not what he was expecting. He’s not really a wine expert, most of what he drinks is beer with everyone at Crash after work, but this is nice. Kyungsoo takes another sip from his glass and places it on the table. “So what’s new in the life of Junmyeon Kim?”

“Nothing really, the usual.” He shrugs and swirls the wine in his glass. “Researching, cable hacks, being crippled.” Junmyeon takes a sip then places his glass down as well. “According to my physical therapist I’m doing very well.”

Kyungsoo bites his lip before asking, “and what do you think?”

Removing the glasses on his face to rub at his eyes Junmyeon asks, “Me?” Kyungsoo nods. “I think I’ll be stuck in that chair for the rest of my life.” There’s a bitter hint in his tone, but his face stays perfectly blank as he lifts his glass once more to empty it.

It’s a while before Kyungsoo can think of something to say, and even longer before he can find his voice. “You can’t honestly know that,” he says in a whisper.

Junmyeon laughs sarcastically. “I can’t feel anything past my knees, Kyungsoo, and most of the feeling in my thighs in non-existent.” He pours more wine into his glass. “I’m lucky I’m not completely paralyzed.”

Kyungsoo can’t help the guilty feeling that comes over him, even though he knows that wasn’t Junmyeon’s intention. He slides his glass away and folds his arms on the table, resting his chin against them. “We’ll figure something out, Junmyeon,” Kyungsoo says. “We always do.”

His eyes meet Kyungsoo’s, and after a long few seconds, he smiles slightly. “Sure,” he agrees. “We always do.”

Kyungsoo shifts and reaches his hand out for Junmyeon’s, who takes it and squeezes his fingers. They sit like that for hours, slowly drinking the bottle of wine and saying nothing.

 

* 

 

“Hey loser,” Kyungsoo says when Donghae comes into the work next morning. “Didn’t hear you come back last night, where were you?”

Donghae doesn't answer him at first, staring down at the pager in his hands, scowling at the display. It’s only been about a week since Donghae showed up, even less since he started working at JamPony. Kyungsoo isn’t sure where Donghae got the means to get a pager, or why he’d even need to when he has no one in the city that he knows. It’s a little odd, to be honest.

He shares a look with Minseok who shrugs before taking off, leaving Kyungsoo to deal with it. If Minseok was in the know, he’d jokingly call him a traitor. “Donghae? Everything okay?”

Looking up quickly, Donghae nods. “Yeah, fine.” He licks his lips and grips the pager in his right hand tight enough so the plastic starts to crack. “Is there a phone I can use anywhere?”

Kyungsoo looks at him carefully before walking him over to the pay phone in the corner. “You just gotta smack it once or twice and it should work.”

“Thanks,” he mutters distractedly, huddling up to the phone.

He makes his way over to where Ryeowook is, in the safety of his little back enclosed area to get a package. “What’s with your loser friend?” Ryeowook asks.

“Cousin,” Kyungsoo corrects. “And I don’t know.”

Ryeowook looks up and glances toward the pay phone where Donghae is having an aggressive whisper conversation. He hums. “He better not be on drugs,” he says.

“He’s not,” Kyungsoo says quickly. “At least I don’t think so.”

“If he is, he’s out and you’re on probation. This is a drug free environment. Hear me?”

“Loud and clear,” he sighs, grabbing his package off the counter and heading out. He’s thinking of stopping by at Junmyeon’s first, it’s on the way. Kind of.

When he gets to Junmyeon’s apartment he’s not sure what he was expecting, but this was not it. In one of the additional rooms, Junmyeon sits atop an examination table with padding, much like what Kyungsoo would expect to see in a doctor’s office. His face is flushed and there’s a fine sheen of sweat covering his skin. He’s adorning a pair of sweatpants and a simple t-shirt that Kyungsoo’s never seen on him before. From across the room, Kyungsoo can hear that his breathing is labored and quick paced as he hangs his head trying to regulate it.

On the other side of the room stands stands an attractive woman. Her hair is pulled back into a ponytail and she has on just a touch of make up. She’s wearing workout clothes as well and Kyungsoo stops for a moment to look between them. “Did I interrupt something?” He asks.

Junmyeon looks up through his sweaty hair that’s flopping over his face. “Oh, hey, Kyungsoo.” He takes a few deep breaths. “This is Wendy Son, my physical therapist.”

She turns around and smiles brightly at Kyungsoo. “I’ve heard so much about you!”

Kyungsoo smirks. “Funny,” he says, “Because I’ve heard nothing about you.” He checks the time on his watch. “I can see that you’re busy, Junmyeon so I’m just gonna go. Packages to deliver and all that.”

“Wait,” Junmyeon calls out, but Kyungsoo doesn’t bother to stop. Those packages won’t deliver themselves.

 

 * 

 

“And you just flat out bailed,” Minseok says when he relays the incident that night at Crash.

Kyungsoo grabs the pitcher of beer from the bar and follows him back to their table. “What was I supposed to do?”

“Oh my god,” Minseok groans. “You are not this dumb. I know you aren’t.”

“What? I’m not gonna hang around when he’s got some attractive woman in his house.”

“It was his physical therapist!” He all but shouts. “You’re acting like it was a booty call. The man is so into you he’s stupid with it and you’re just oblivious.”

“Oh, come on.” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his beer. “Junmyeon and I aren’t like that.”

Minseok looks at him disbelievingly. “Right,” he says slowly. “And I’m the biggest flaming homosexual on the planet.” Shaking his head Kyungsoo laughs. “Seriously, if it was possible for two men to have children together he’d want to have your babies.”

“Gross.” Kyungsoo makes a face but can’t fight the grin that’s taking over. “I don’t have time for things like that,” he says eventually. “I have other things to worry about.”

Rolling his eyes, Minseok sits back in his chair. “Like what?”

“Like Donghae--”

“Who is a grown man and can take care of himself.”

Kyungsoo sighs. “Yes, but--”

“No. You’re just scared and I think it’s time to own up to at least having feelings for Junmyeon, because you know you do.” He takes a long sip of his beer and stares Kyungsoo down while doing so. When he puts it back down he’s smirking just a bit. “And you better do it fast because here he comes.”

“What?” Kyungsoo panics and begins to look around, turing in his chair and coming face to face with, “Junmyeon!” He says. “Uh, hi. wasn’t expecting to see you here.”

Minseok snorts on the other side of the table and gets up, taking his beer with him. “Real smooth, Kyungsoo,” he says in passing. Fuck friendship, Kyungsoo thinks. Minseok is the worst friend ever.

“Hey.” Junmyeon rolls his chair up to the table, sitting caddy-corner from Kyungsoo. “Everything okay? You haven’t returned my calls all day.”

“Um, right. I was just swamped all day,” he says fringing a ‘what can you do’ expression. “Lot of packages to deliver.

Junmyeon doesn’t look like he buys it, but nods in understanding anyway, which Kyungsoo is grateful for. “Was there a reason you came by this morning?”

“This morning?” He repeats. “Uh, no, not really. I mean, there was this thing with Donghae but it’s fine, I have it under control. Thanks though.” He nod casually, picking up his glass to take a drink of his beer.

There’s a frown on Junmyeon’s face though. Kyungsoo hates it when he frowns. It makes him look all pouty and it’s borderline adorable. No, wait, not adorable. Junmyeon is not adorable at all. “What happened?” He asks, shifting in his chair just a bit.

“Nothing really, he was just acting weird this morning.” Kyungsoo shrugs it off like it’s nothing and tries not to fiddle with the sleeves of his jacket.

Junmyeon’s face changes to mild worry which Kyungsoo hates even more, especially when there is nothing to be concerned about. “Are you sure?”

“Positive, Junmyeon,” he says. “If there was something to worry over, don’t you think I’d tell you?”

“No,” Junmyeon replies, but there’s a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Kyungsoo is about to agree with that assessment when his pager goes off, sound almost muffled in the noise of the people around them. He pulls it out of his pocket and checks the display. “Do you have your phone on you?” He asks Junmyeon who hands it over with a questioning look. Kyungsoo ignores him for dialing the number back.

 _”Oh, God,” _Donghae says when he picks up. _”Thank fuck. I need your help.___ ”

Kyungsoo frowns. “Donghae? What’s wrong?”

 _”I almost got jumped by some guys. Beat the shit out of them, no big deal. But there was a cop_ right fucking there _and he started chasing me, Kyungsoo._ ”

Kyungsoo closes his eyes and lets out an angry sound. “Why is it so hard for you to stay out of trouble?”

_”I swear, I didn’t know he was there!”_

He snatches his gloves off the table and shoves them in his pocket along with his pager. “Of course not, because it would kill you to be fucking observant for once, wouldn’t it? Where are you?” He asks standing from the table and walking away, assuming Junmyeon is following him.

 _”South Market,”_ Donghae says. _”You gotta hurry, I don’t know how far he is._ ”

“If I could, I’d let him catch you. Find some place to hide. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He hangs up without a word and tosses the phone back to Junmyeon. “I should just kill him, really.” He says, throwing his hands up in the air. “Because no one is worth this much trouble.” Kyungsoo gets in Junmyeon’s car and slams the door shut. “How long do you think it’ll take to drive to South Market?” He asks once Junmyeon gets settled in and starts the car.

“I don’t know,” he says, pulling out of the parking space. “If traffic is good, not too long.”

Kyungsoo considers this. “Be ready to break some traffic laws then.”

During the entirety of the ride, Kyungsoo can’t keep still. He’s hyperaware and twitchy, first fiddling with various things in Junmyeon’s car, then with a loose thread on his gloves. He can feel Junmyeon looking at him out of the corner of his eye and he wants to snap at him, tell him to just watch the road, but really, Kyungsoo is too hyped up to care.

They’re not far from the sector checkpoint, and Kyungsoo begins tapping his foot inside the footwell of the car and biting his nails. “I wish I could let him get caught, I shouldn’t have to babysit him.”

Junmyeon hums in agreement, getting in line behind a few other cars to head into south market. “Do you have a plan?”

“No,” Kyungsoo replies. “Wait ten minutes once we get inside. If I’m not back by then start heading out. I’ll catch up.”

“And Donghae?”

Kyungsoo considers this. “If I can’t find him fast enough he’s on his own.”

Junmyeon pulls out his sector pass to show to the police officer. “Are you sure that’s wise?”

“No, but Minseok is right, he can take care of himself.” He doesn’t wait for Junmyeon to respond and hops out of the car in search of Donghae. It’s most likely that he skipped the lower level of South Market altogether so Kyungsoo heads up to the rafters, the mostly empty section of the building, to look. If it was Kyungsoo in trouble, he’d hide out in a vent or a nice dark corner to keep from being seen.

Apparently, Donghae isn’t that smart.

Kyungsoo sneaks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head. “How stupid are you?” He hisses, completely unsympathetic to Donghae’s pain. “You’re hiding out but you sit in the open. Wonderful.”

Donghae rubs his head and stands to his full height, pouting. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“And I don’t have to save your dumbass, and yet here I am.” He sighs and straightens out his jacket. “Come on,” he says and turns around. “Let’s go, Junmyeon’s waiting.”

They get back to the car with little fanfare, Donghae sliding into the back seat while Kyungsoo sits in the front. Everything is quiet until they’re long past the sector checkpoint.

Kyungsoo is the one who speaks up, glaring out the windshield. “Things need to change,” he says. Out the corner of his eye, Junmyeon adjusts his grip on the steering wheel. “You can’t stay with me anymore, Donghae.”

From behind him, there’s a small chuckle. “I knew this was coming.”

“Not only are you putting yourself at risk but me as well. And Minseok.” He turns in his seat to give Donghae a heavy look. “I’d never forgive you or myself if something happened to Minseok because of what we are.”

Donghae’s face his blank, his eyes cold and calculating. “You’ve been out here too long, Kyungsoo,” he says eventually. “You’ve gone native. _Soft_.”

Kyungsoo scoffs and faces forward once more. “Forgive me if I’m not a good little soldier anymore. And why is it you’re out here? You must have left Manticore for a reason.”

“I did,” Donghae says. There’s a pause before he speaks next and the cold press of metal is touching the back of Kyungsoo’s neck. “I’m on a mission.” He cocks the gun, possibly in hopes of scaring Kyungsoo but he doesn’t even flinch. Junmyeon startles next to him a little at the sound and shoots a quick look in their direction while trying to keep them on the road.

A wry smile forms on Kyungsoo’s face and he cracks his neck. “And what’s your mission?”

“To kill you.”

Kyungsoo hums thoughtfully. “HyunJong’s orders? Under what basis?”

“My mission is to kill all of the X5’s that escaped that night.”

“Oh,” he says impressed. “Not capture? I guess not, who knows what half of us have gotten into in the past ten years. One of us could be in a gang for all you know.” He waves a hand dismissively. “Let me guess, you’re to kill us then our bodies are to be transported back to Manticore for research purposes.”

Donghae shoves the gun harder against Kyungsoo’s neck. “It doesn’t matter! Once you’re dead nothing matters because you’ll be dead and my mission will be over.”

That makes Kyungsoo freeze. He turns around slowly to stare at Donghae in disbelief. “Over?”

“You’re the last one, Kyungsoo. The others are dead.” He doesn’t even look sorry about it as Kyungsoo searches his face for some lie. It has to be a lie. They can’t all be dead. They can’t. “Assassination is my specialty.”

He slumps back in his seat the right way, suddenly very cold.

“Kyungsoo?” Junmyeon asks.

Kyungsoo clears his throat. “Keep driving,” is all he says, and the car stays quiet for the rest of the drive back to Sector nine.

  

* 

 

The car park of Junmyeon’s building is chilly and quiet. Donghae gets out of the car first, then Kyungsoo. Junmyeon is the last, but Kyungsoo supposes he should be lucky that Donghae is allowing it at all.

“What’s the security like on this place?” Donghae asks, nodding to Junmyeon while keeping the gun trained on Kyungsoo. He’s still in shock, most of what Donghae says sounding muffled to him.

“It’s alright,” Junmyeon says. “Nothing impressive. Cops don’t usually have a reason to come around here.”

Donghae nods. “Good, no one should bother us then.” He looks to Kyungsoo then, face hard. This is no longer the kid Kyungsoo shared a unit with. This is someone else, someone cold and unfeeling. A soldier of the state. “I’ll give you what the rest didn’t have, Kyungsoo. Any last words, or even requests?”

Kyungsoo looks up from the cement pavement under his feet to Donghae. “Yeah,” he says, voice soft. “Why did you stay behind?”

“You’re still worried about that?” Donghae scowls. “It’s in the past, let it go.”

He shrugs. “For peace of mind.”

Donghae doesn’t answer, he stares at Kyungsoo, gaze boring into his own. Kyungsoo has a fleeting thought that maybe the kid he knew never actually existed. “After you left, I was the only one they didn’t tamper with, didn’t _reprogram_.” He says eventually. “They put us all through a series of tests, to see which ones were most likely to rebel, susceptible to free thought beyond what they wanted.”

“And you didn’t have free thought,” Kyungsoo concludes.

He laughs darkly. “It’s the opposite actually. I had the highest score of them all.” He lets his arm with the gun drop to his side, but keeps his finger on the trigger. “It’s dangerous, they all said. He’s a liability, I heard over and over again. But HyunJong didn’t do anything. Kept training me.” Donghae flexes his fingers on the gun, tightening his grip. “I was trained in secret the last few years. Prepared for assassination. My first missions were easy. People who were a threat to Manticore,” he pauses then looks at Kyungsoo again. “Then it was decided I’d hunt you all down. Kill you. Manticore would use your bodies for experiments, spare parts, whatever.”

“Did you ever regret it?” Kyungsoo asks. “Staying behind.”

“No.” He points the gun at Kyungsoo once more. “Fact of the matter, Kyungsoo, is I like it. I enjoy killing people, and that wouldn’t have been any different if I was out here with the rest of you.”

Kyungsoo takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. “So you choose the smarter choice of the two.”

“The safer choice.” His shoes scrape against the ground as he steps closer to Kyungsoo until the muzzle of it pressed against his stomach. “You should be thanking me, Kyungsoo,” he mutters. “Anyone else would’ve brought you back for torture first. Made you beg and scream for death long before you get it.”

“So you pity me.”

“No.” Donghae presses their foreheads together and lets out a shuddering breath. “I pity myself. Each one of you I killed was like killing a part of myself.”

“So why didn’t you stop? Why didn’t you leave, Donghae? You didn’t have to do their dirty work for them!”

Donghae punches him in the gut, hard, putting as much as he can behind it. “Because I couldn’t let them touch you, not any of you. Only I could do it.”

Kyungsoo groans and curls over himself, arms wrapped around his stomach. “And then what?”

“Doesn’t matter,” he repeats. He takes a step back from Kyungsoo then. “You’ve said more than enough. I’m running out of time. I have to report back soon.”

It’s then that Kyungsoo feels nothing at all; sees nothing, and hears nothing but the ringing in his ears. Everything is black for a moment and he’s numb before the sheer white burning pain blooms in his shoulder and he can’t do anything to hold back his cry. It’s then that Kyungsoo realizes he’s on the ground. The cement is cool under his cheek and offers a minor distraction to the throbbing pain in his shoulder. He doesn’t open his eyes at first, trying to take even breaths in through his nose, calming his heart beat.

“Kyungsoo?” He hears Junmyeon say. There’s the soft rolling sound of his wheels before he hears something else, a sound he can’t exactly place because it’s too much work to focus on anything but the pain. “Come on, Kyungsoo, speak to me.” He feels Junmyeon’s hand against his forehead, pushing the hair back from his face. “Just hang on.”

He forces his eyes open and takes a big gasping breath. “Where’s...Donghae?”

Junmyeon looks over his shoulder but doesn’t say anything when he looks back at Kyungsoo. His eyes hold nothing but sadness so it’s not hard for Kyungsoo to put it together.

Kyungsoo closes his eyes again against the sudden onslaught of emotions and curls in on himself more, bringing his knees as close as he can. He doesn’t mean to cry, or even want to really, but it’s too much to fight it. He lets out these soft whimpering sounds that shake his body, moving his shoulder and causing more pain to hit him to the point he has to reach up and grab at it. Kyungsoo can feel the blood coating his fingers as it seeps through his clothes, thumping out slowly from the wound as he cries.

“We need to move Kyungsoo,” Junmyeon says eventually. “We need to take you to a hospital.”

 _No,_ he wants to say, but he can’t find his voice.

Sitting up slowly, Kyungsoo uses his blood free hand to wipe at his face, ignoring the burning pain in his shoulder. He looks at Junmyeon, camped out on the ground in front of him. His hair is a mess, wilder than usual from when he runs his hand through it, glasses lost on the ground somewhere close to his chair that’s sitting some odd feet away. Donghae’s lifeless body lies on the ground behind him.

“You’re an idiot,” he finally says.

Junmyeon rolls his eyes. “Yes, you can tell me all of this later, when you’re not bleeding from a possibly fatal wound.”

Kyungsoo can’t help but huff out a small laugh at that and struggles to get to his feet. He brings Junmyeon’s chair over and watches as he works his hardest to get back in it. He’s thankful for Junmyeon’s help, no matter how risky it is, because even though it was idiotic of him and could’ve gotten him killed, Kyungsoo’s happy to be alive.

 

* 

 

It takes some convincing once Junmyeon has gotten back into his chair, but Kyungsoo likes to believe it’s because the shock, blood loss, and seering pain he’s in that he allows Junmyeon to take him to the hospital.

They make a fuss about giving him pain killers once the bullet has been removed and his shoulder stitched up and while Kyungsoo would give anything to not feel the throbbing, pulsating thump of his blood flowing through his veins once he’s reclined in a hospital bed, waiting for them to let him go home, he knows he can’t risk it.

In the car ride back, Kyungsoo sits carefully still, wanting to curl up on himself and sleep. “I need to stay with you a few days.” He says after a long silence and a handful of Junmyeon’s curious but worried glances. “Just until I can move my shoulder without wincing.”

“You don’t have to give me a reason, Kyungsoo. I wouldn't have said no.”

“The reason’s to remind myself,” he says. “Though, I’ll need to tell Minseok something different. I don’t think the phrase ‘I got shot’ will go over well.”

They stop at a red light and Junmyeon fiddles with the cracking leather of the steering wheel. “Could tell him the truth.”

Kyungsoo sighs. “I don’t think now is the best time for a test tube baby reveal story, do you?”

He shrugs, eyes trained carefully on the road in front of them even though they aren’t moving. Kyungsoo turns his head away, looking out the passenger window. “I think that just you telling him is better than Minseok finding out on his own and being upset with you.”

Kyungsoo hates it when he’s right. “I’ll tell him soon. Right now, I just want to not be in pain. Help me think of a cover story.”

The light changes and they start moving forward again, back towards Junmyeon’s apartment. “Don’t bring me into this. Minseok doesn’t even like me.”

He can’t help but snort at that. “Minseok just doesn’t know you,” he says. “He thinks we’re in love with each other, so he’s got to play up that protective best friend shtick when you’re around.” Kyungsoo doesn’t mean to say it, but it’s out of his mouth before he can really think about it. He squeezes his eyes shut, cursing himself. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._.

Junmyeon is reaching up and fiddling with his glasses when Kyungsoo risks a glance at him again. It’s something he only does when he’s nervous. “Oh,” he says. And that’s it.

Kyungsoo clears his throat, trying to dissipate the awkwardness in the car. “Forget I said anything,” he mumbles. “I’ll just blame it on Donghae somehow. Don’t worry about it.”

Silence falls over them and Kyungsoo wishes nothing more than to be swallowed whole by his seat. They’re almost to Junmyeon’s apartment though, he can make his escape soon.

In the car park, under the building, just as Kyungsoo is about to open his door and slip out, Junmyeon speaks again. “You can tell Minseok I’m having problems with my back, say one of the bullets that was left in my back has migrated. Something about how it’s too close to my spine now and they want me to take it easy while they decide what is the best course of action.” He looks over at Kyungsoo then as the engine of the car ticks while it begins to cool. “Tell him I might need you to take me to the hospital in a few days to have surgery, I’ve been barred from all serious physical activities.”

“That’s quite an elaborate story,” Kyungsoo comments. He narrows his eyes when Junmyeon only shrugs. “Is it true?”

Junmyeon removes his glasses and rubs at the corners of his eyes. “No, but it is a possibility at some point. They did leave a bullet in my back, it was already too close to my spine and operating on it was a bigger risk than leaving it alone.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t really know what to say to that, or how to process it honestly. “Well,” he says on a sigh, but adds nothing more, choosing to get out of the car instead. It isn’t until they reach the top floor of the building and enter Junmyeon’s apartment that he says, “I would help you through that, though. If it actually happened.” Kyungsoo doesn’t wait for Junmyeon’s response, instead going farther into the apartment and using Junmyeon’s phone to call Minseok.

 

 

|| ⁞ || ⁞ ||

 

 

Kyungsoo doesn’t sleep much, he doesn’t like it, it makes him feel _weird_. He’s not sure what it is about the act of sleeping that makes him feel so off, or if sleep it self makes him feel that way, but it just does. That isn’t to say that Kyungsoo doesn't sleep, because he does, he just doesn’t do it all the time. It’s not an every night thing for him, more like every few days, but even after that he’s tense and on edge for about twelve hours after he gets up.

It might be because Kyungsoo doesn’t like to dream. Okay, that’s a lie. He likes it, it’s fun and interesting. As long as his dreams aren’t about Manticore, or his missing family, or his friends finding out about what he really is.

The newest one to the mix is Donghae. Usually he wakes right up the moment he shows up though, so that’s good.

There’s a weird feeling he always gets when he’s about to crash for a solid twelve hours. Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to explain it. Sometimes it feels as if he’s coming down with something. His body feels weak and he’s all sweaty sometimes. This time was no different. Minseok gave him a concerned look when he came home that night, asking if he was alright and needed some tea. Kyungsoo just waved him off and said he was going to go die for a while, he’ll be fine after, honestly.

It’s mid morning when Kyungsoo wakes up. His room is bathed in warm light even through the stained window on the far side of the room. He lets out a low humming noise, feeling calm and content for once as he stretches his limbs out and pops his back. Despite the sticky sweaty feeling on his skin, Kyungsoo feels _good_. He’s warm and happy and it’s wonderful.

“Maybe I should sleep more often,” he mutters to himself, allowing his eyes to slip closed once more.

Kyungsoo doesn’t fall back asleep, not really. He slips into this interesting place betweening waking and sleeping, his brain slowing down just enough to let him stay relaxed, but working enough to provide dream-like images in his mind’s eye.

Dream!Kyungsoo is laying on his side on a bed that he’s never seen before. The sheets are warm to the touch, but soft and smooth. Silky almost. He wants to rub them between his fingers always, but is easily distracted from it.

The dream room is bathed in a soft light, it’s warm and almost golden, like candle light, and it reflects perfectly off the sheets. He smiles, and rolls onto his other side to look at Junmyeon who is laying next to him on the large bed with perfect sheets.

Junmyeon smiles back at him and reaches a hand out, cupping Kyungsoo’s cheek. He rubs his thumb in gentle circles just under his eye before moving his hand to Kyungsoo’s waist and tugging him closer. Kyungsoo goes without a fight, loving the warmth that radiates off of Junmyeon’s body.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a long time,” Junmyeon whispers. His voice is almost too soft to hear.

Kyungsoo licks his lips, eyes moving from staring into Junmyeon’s own to darting down to his soft, red looking lips. “Yeah?” He breathes out.

The corner of Junmyeon’s mouth tips up in a smirk or a smile, Kyungsoo isn’t sure which. “Yeah,” he replies before tipping his head closer, allowing their lips to--

Kyungsoo sits up with a start, his breathing labored, skin sweaty and his cheeks flushed. “Fuck,” he lets out. His voice is deep and rough and he has to clear his throat a few times before he even wants to think about talking again.

He doesn’t move for a while, just sits on his bed and stares across the room as he tries to calm down. His hair is matted to his forehead, clinging like it’s the only thing it knows how to do, the edges of it hanging into his eyes.

Eventually, Kyungsoo shifts his weight and winces as he does so, unable to ignore the slight hardness in his pants. He breathes through his mouth as he does so, long, deep breaths. Kyungsoo lifts his hands up to his face and buries himself in them, letting out a low, distressed noise. “Fuck,” he says again, long and drawn out. He licks his lips and is suddenly aware of how dry his mouth and throat feel.

He _hates_ feline DNA. _Hates._

  

* 

 

Minseok is up and in the kitchen when Kyungsoo finally drags himself out of bed and his room. He raises an eyebrow at Kyungsoo’s state of half undress and flushed, sweaty skin. “You okay?”

Kyungsoo slowly makes his way over to the counter island between the kitchen and main room of the apartment, resting his hands on the cool top. “Yeah,” he says hoarsely. “Just peachy.”

“Uh huh.” He carefully places the kettle onto their two burner stove then folds his arms, giving Kyungsoo The Look. “Try again.”

Drumming his fingers on the counter, Kyungsoo bites his lip, debating on the merits of telling Minseok the truth. He doesn’t see much wrong with it and in his poor mental state he decides to hell with it. “So, this is gonna sound crazy but you need to promise not to freak.”

“You’re acting like you’re about to tell me some big thing that will change my view of you forever.” Minseok rolls his eyes and sets up two cups for some coffee. “Next you’re going to tell me you hate cheese.”

Kyungsoo takes in a deep breath and says, “I was born out of a test tube.”

Minseok pauses in his actions, staring at the cups and the container of instant (fake) coffee grounds in his hand. Kyungsoo thinks his heart is going to beat out of his chest. “A test tube?” He questions. “Like, test tube sperm or eggs?”

He shrugs. “More like I was made in a lab and some woman gave birth to me.” Kyungsoo tries not to fidget, to keep still and not show weakness. He can do this, it’s what he was trained for.

The keeping still, not the revealing the whole Manticore thing. He was actually trained not to let anyone know who or what he is and to kill on the spot if the secret got out. That’s neither here nor there, though.

Minseok looks up at that. “For real?” His voice is soft but not pitying. “Do you know if she was biologically yours?”

Kyungsoo is thrown by that question, of all the things for Minseok to ask about he picks this. “Uh, I don’t know. I never really thought about it.”

“Huh,” he states then looks back at the coffee.

Kyungsoo waits a minute before saying anything else. “That’s it? You’re okay with it?”

Minseok shrugs. “I don’t know what to think,” he says. “I kind of don’t believe it, but at the sametime, what reason do you have to lie to me?”

“I don’t have one.”

Minseok smiles. “Exactly.” He turns off the stove before the kettle whistles, pouring the water into their mugs. “So what’s up with you this morning? Because I sure as hell know that being born from a test tube is not your disfunction today.”

Kyungsoo laughs a little at that, feeling safe and welcome once more. “It kinda is? Well, it has something to do with it.” He takes his mug and taps his fingers on the side of it but not drinking. “There’s this thing with my DNA, it’s...”

“Funky?”

He looks Minseok in the eye before saying, “ _Feline_.”

“Okay,” he says slowly. “And what does that have to do with...?” Minseok waves at Kyungsoo, pointing out his current state.

“I go through this thing every few months. Couple times a year or so, where I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin.”

Minseok blinks slowly. “You’re gonna have to be more blunt.”

Kyungsoo groans placing his mug and forehead on the counter. “ _I’m in heat_.”

“ _Oh._ ”

“Yeah, oh.”

Minseok is quiet for a while, the stirring of his coffee the only sound, spoon knocking against the crematic mug. “So what’s the problem?”

He lifts his head from the counter, peering at Minseok through his hair and lashes. “I had a dream about Junmyeon this morning.”

Minseok smirks. “Thought you said you two weren’t like that?”

“We aren’t!”

It appears as if Minseok can barely hold in his laughter. “But you want him,” he says. “Specifically his dick.”

Kyungsoo whimpers. “You are not helping right now.”

“I wonder how he looks naked,” Minseok ponders, leaning his weight against the counter. “If his body’s hot enough straight men could like it too.”

Kyungsoo pushes away from the counter, abandoning his mug. “I’m going to take a cold shower.” He shuffles off to the bathroom awkwardly.

“I bet he has a nice dick.”

“A freezing cold shower!” He shouts, slamming the door behind him, it’s almost too much work to not bash his head against it. These next three days are going to be the worst.

  

* 

 

Kyungsoo fidgets in the elevator ride up to Junmyeon’s apartment. His fingers twitch at his side, and he can’t help but tap his foot too the mindless tune of the soft music playing from the speakers. He doesn’t get it. The economy has gone to shit and yet the owner of this building can fork out the cash for the additional electric this music is racking up. If he was working at all cylinders he’d be more outraged about it.

He’s able to calm himself just before he gets into Junmyeon’s apartment making his nerves go down to a two instead of a seven. “You keep blowin’ up my pager,” he says coolly propping himself against the door frame to Junmyeon’s office. “It better be good.” Kyungsoo isn’t sure what’s worse, being here with Junmyeon or being out making runs, passing all those wonderfully attractive people who probably wouldn’t hesitate to accept his offer of sex.

Now is _not_ the time, he minds himself and mentally shakes his head.

Junmyeon’s typing away at his computer when he says, “I just heard from a contact of mine. Got a tip on that guy Winston Rozero, the one behind all the missing children incidents.” He stops typing and shuffles through some papers he has scattered around, possibly looking for something, but Kyungsoo isn’t really focusing on that, distracted by the tightness of Junmyeon’s dress shirt and the way it hugs his arms. Gotta love the way some rich folk dress.

“And?” He presses mildly, knowing that this is going somewhere exciting.

“And,” Junmyeon repeats. “I found out what airfield he’s taking them too, shipping them out of the country. We should head out there tonight, do some...” He trails off when he turns to look at Kyungsoo, concern taking over his face. “Are you alright?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Raising an eyebrow at that Junmyeon snorts. “Well, for one you’re flushed. I’ve never seen you that red before.”

“The sun’s bright today. All ‘hello starshine it’s a beautiful day’ and shit. It’s gonna give a guy some redness.” Kyungsoo waves it off. “I’ll be fine.”

“No,” Junmyeon trails off and rolls his wheelchair away from the desk. “There’s something else. You’re a little off. Too...”

“What?” Kyungsoo asks. “Willing to help out and offer a hand to save those poor girls being kidnapped into slave trade?”

He narrows his eyes at Kyungsoo, gaze calculating. “I was going to say happy, but that too.”

He scoffs. “Oh come off it. I don’t do happy, ever. Why would I be happy now?” His nerves are notching back up slowly, two...three...four... Kyungsoo can feel the sweat on his skin, popping up faster as he fights with himself not to fidget. He licks his lips distractedly, getting the salty tang of sweat in his mouth and Kyungsoo has to close his eyes slowly at the sudden onslaught of raw want that fills him.

He thinks about what it would be like to get Junmyeon all sweaty with him, sprawled out on a bed, whining as he fists a hand in Kyungsoo’s hair, his skin warm and tangy sweet.

Kyungsoo curses under his breath and runs a shaky hand through his hair. “Look,” he says. “I got some personal shit to deal with right now, but tonight,” his voice goes weak for a second there, earning a questioning look from Junmyeon. Kyungsoo clears his throat. “Tonight we can do some recon, see if we can get those girls safe, or at least by us some time. Okay?”

“Sure,” Junmyeon slowly agrees. “Pick you up at seven?”

Kyungsoo nods, not trusting his voice just then. If it wasn’t for the fact they were going on a _mission_ it would sound like a date. Sadly, he can only dream. Only he doesn’t because they aren’t like that, God. “Gotta jet.” He doesn’t wait for a response and turns away, rushing out of Junmyeon’s apartment.

He needs to go ask Ryeowook for a personal day.

“No, no, no, no, absolutely not.” Ryeowook says and Kyungsoo resists the urge to drape himself over the counter. “There are packages to be delivered and you are constantly late as it is. You’re behind schedule.” He taps the face of his watch then shoves three packages at Kyungsoo. “Now go.”

It’s a great deal of self restraint that Kyungsoo doesn’t rip off Ryeowook’s face. But that would probably look bad on a new application. _Why did you leave your previous place of employment?_ Well, my boss wouldn’t let me take a personal day when I was in heat because of my fucked up DNA so I ripped off his face.

Yeah, totally plausible.

“Are you gonna make it through the day?” Minseok asks sliding next to Kyungsoo on the benches between lockers.

Kyungsoo shrugs, shoving the packages into his bag. “Doesn’t matter. I have to do recon with Junmyeon tonight.”

“Recon?”

Kyungsoo bites his lip. Right, just because Minseok knows he was born out of a test tube doesn’t mean he actually knows, well, anything. “Just some stuff he’s looking into for Eyes Only. Grunt work mostly. Checkin’ up on a lead or something.”

“Uh huh.” There’s that skeptical tone again from this morning. Minseok raises a questioning eyebrow at him. What is with everyone and this fucking eyebrow thing today. He is not acting any weirder than usual. Probably. “And how does that involve you?”

“Uh, genetically enhanced human here,” he whispers. They stand and head to their bikes outside on the rack. Kyungsoo waits until they’re a safe distance from Jam Pony before continuing. “I can scale a ten foot wall and beat some thugs without breaking a sweat.” He stops for the light, risking a glance at Minseok. “I help Junmyeon out on some cases, do the dangerous shit and in return he’s looking into some Manticore shit for me.”

Minseok nods sagely. “I see. And this isn’t some lame ass cover for you going over there for a booty call, right?”

“ _Right_.”

“Because you and Junmyeon aren’t like that.”

Kyungsoo nods in agreement. “Exactly.”

“You just have a strong urge to sit on his dick,” Minseok finishes.

Kyungsoo freezes, stopping his bike in the middle of the road and watches Minseok’s retreating back. “That is not it at all! Minseok!” Minseok rides away cackling. He’s revoking some friendship privileges.

  

* 

 

Kyungsoo does some push ups in the middle of the living room, his hair is limp with sweat, sticking to his skin and he’s just itching to get some action. He’s taken three showers today already and it’s not helping in the least.

“You are crazy,” Minseok says from where he’s lounging across the room, watching as Kyungsoo tries to keep himself under control. “You’re seriously going to go sit in a car with Junmyeon?”

Kyungsoo grunts in response, pushing out another set of five before answering. “It’s not like I have a choice, I promised.” He does another set. “And besides, I’d feel terrible if we couldn’t help these girls.” He jumps to his feet, chest heaving with his lack of breath. He grabs a towel and wipes his face, trying to get as much of the sweat off his skin as possible. When Kyungsoo removes it, Minseok just looks at him incredulously. “What?”

Minseok shakes his head. “Nothing,” he says. “Just, you look like moments away from coming on yourself.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes go comically wide. “Oh god,” he says, fingers gripping the towel even tighter. “ _Really?_ ”

“Really.”

He buries his face in the towel once more and yells, “Fuck!” When he removes it, he looks at Minseok with weak eyes. “I can’t do this. I really can’t. You have to tell him for me. Say I got sick or something, I don’t know.”

Minseok stands up with a sigh. “Calm down. All you need is another cold shower.” He starts to push Kyungsoo toward the bathroom.

“Do you think I have time for that?” Kyungsoo asks in a panic. “Do you think it’ll help? I don’t think it’ll help.”

“Just get in there and believe it will. If Junmyeon shows up while you’re busy, I’ll stall him.”

Kyungsoo stands in the doorway of the bathroom, shooting Minseok the most pathetic look ever as he licks the sweat off his top lip. “Okay,” he breathes out. “It’ll be fine. Totally.”

“Of course,” Minseok agrees, then pushes him farther into the bathroom and pulls the door shut.

Kyungsoo stands there, staring for a moment before moving into action. He strips his clothes quickly, happy to be rid of the warm, constricting fabric and his boots. He kicks everything to the corner and hops into the shower, turning the water on full blast to cold. Kyungsoo manages to hold back his yelp at the temperature and the way it nearly stings his skin, but he welcomes the distraction.

It doesn’t last for long tho. Soon, Kyungsoo’s body becomes used to the cool temperature of the water and the way it cascades over his his body. It feels soothing, calming almost, and Kyungsoo forgets all about how hot he was.

He rubs his hand on the back of his neck, enjoying the way the water feels. His need is slowly returning but Kyungsoo doesn’t fight it. He lets out a low humming sound and lets his hand run down his chest, over the smooth skin of his stomach and down to his cock, half hard between his legs. Kyungsoo puts his free hand against the shower wall and leans his weight on it as the water covers his head completely, eyes trained downwards.

He squeezes himself gently, and lets out a hiss. It feels so good. He wants more. _Needs more_. He needs so much.

Kyungsoo does it again, only this time he drags his hand up the length slowly, and squeezes as he goes back down, letting out a soft moan at the feeling.

His body is loose and happy with need as he slowly jacks himself off, squeezing himself on every down stroke. He loses time in the action, nothing matters but the feeling slowly building inside him, getting stronger and stronger until it lets go completely, slipping out of him with his release. Over his fingers and down the drain.

Kyungsoo stares blankly at the water around his feet as he comes back to himself. Both hands pressed against the wall, the water slowly feeling colder to his body. His breath comes in short, quick gasps but Kyungsoo can’t really be bothered to care. He feels _good_. For the moment at least. He thinks he can handle being in a car with Junmyeon now. Not for the whole night, but just long enough to get the job done.

“Hey,” Kyungsoo says once he comes out of the bathroom. He’s got a form fitting black henley on, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows. He scrubs his hair quickly with a towel before tossing it to the side. “Sorry,” he says to Junmyeon and sits down to lace up his boots real fast.

“It’s fine,” Junmyeon says. “Minseok was just telling me some of the things you guys got up to in San Francisco.”

Kyungsoo looks up at Minseok, who smiles sweetly in return. “Oh...”

When he straightens up once more to pull on his leather jacket Junmyeon asks, “Did you two really have to pretend to be a couple?”

He licks his lips. “Yeah. Some girl had it bad for Minseok, complete stalker. Pretended to be a thing for a couple weeks, she eventually got the hint.” He clears his throat and pulls his fingerless gloves on, avoiding Junmyeon’s eyes.

“Huh,” he says impassively, then rolls his chair out of the apartment.

“What the fuck,” Kyungsoo hisses to Minseok, punching him rather hard in the arm. “That’s what you call a cover?”

Minseok waves a hand dismissively. “Don’t worry _babe_ ,” he says teasingly. “I didn’t tell him what you were like in bed.”

Kyungsoo lets out a frustrated noise and stomps away, leaving the door open behind him. “Don’t stay out too late _boo_!” Minseok calls after.

  

* 

 

Kyungsoo manages to keep his nerves straight as the ride over to the airfield. Most of the trip is a blur to him, just the steady hum of the car rolling over the damp Seattle streets. When they get to the airfield, Junmyeon parks a little away from the surrounding fence. “Just get in, scope the place out and see if you can find some evidence.”

“Right,” Kyungsoo says.

“Don’t do anything rash, we need to have enough on this guy to make sure he gets put away, acting as we see fit could mess up the entire mission.”

He shoots Junmyeon an annoyed look. “This isn’t my first rodeo, I think I can handle it.”

Junmyeon sighs and flexes his fingers on the steering wheel. “I know,” he says. “I just don’t want anything to go wrong.”

“It’ll be fine,” Kyungsoo says as reassuringly as possible. “I know what I’m doing.” He gets out of the car without another word.

In retrospect, he probably should’ve kept his mouth shut. Figures Kyungsoo would jinx himself. Not only does something go wrong, but he nearly lets himself fall into a trap.

The warehouse for the airfield didn’t have much to show. Spare parts, some things for little girls and teen magazines. The typical crap you’d find from dirt bags trying to kidnap girls. Kyungsoo can’t help it if the bubble gum lying around was tempting. He needed a distraction from how he was slowly crawling out of his skin. Of course, this is how one of the minions found him.

Kyungsoo’s beginning to see a pattern with these bad guys, they all give into the chase. He doesn’t get it.

One of them cuts him off, catching him slightly off guard with a gun pointed to his face. “Well,” Kyungsoo can’t help but snark. “Look at you, pretty badass huh, with your gun.” He smirks at the guy and pops his gum. “What else are you good at?” He walks over to the guy, obviously on the flirting end of the spectrum. On a normal day, Kyungsoo would hate himself, but the guy is pretty good looking. It’s hard to deny when he’s this high strung.

The guy doesn’t answer, just continues to glare at Kyungsoo, gun pointed at him.

“Not a talker huh? I can appreciate that.” He doesn’t get a chance to elaborate before the guy is pulling the trigger, missing Kyungsoo just barely. Kyungsoo doesn’t give him a second chance and kicks him right in the head, sending him down. He takes off for the surrounding fence after, running as fast as he can.

When he gets back to the car and panting, sweaty mess and endlessly angry he says, “Don’t,” preventing Junmyeon from starting a conversation about what just transpired.

Junmyeon stares at him for a moment before turning to start the car, pulling away from the airfield.

Back at Kyungsoo’s apartment, Junmyeon follows him in, waiting until the door is closed behind them before asking. “What the hell was that back there?”

Kyungsoo runs his hands through his hair and lets out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know, alright?”

Junmyeon rolls his chair into the living room where Kyungsoo is pacing. “You don’t know? Kyungsoo, you could’ve gotten hurt.”

He turns on Junmyeon and glares. “Oh,” he says hotly. “All of a sudden you’re worried about my well being. Well, thanks for the concern, Junmyeon, but I can take care of myself. I do know how to live out in the real world, like a real boy.”

Junmyeon flips the brake on his chair, keeping himself from rolling away. “That’s not what I meant, you know this.”

“Apparently I don’t know anything.” He ignores the way Junmyeon sighs and crosses his arms, plowing on. “As a matter of fact, I don’t think you even care about my well being. All you care about is the mission, about saving the world. Well here’s the truth for you, Junmyeon, it’s not my job to save the world. I have my own problems to worry about.”

“If it wasn’t for people wanting to save the world after The Pulse, there might not even be a place for you to live.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and ignores the way he feels hot and flushed all over. This argument is getting him worked up more than he thought, making his heart race and his body heat up. “It’s great and all,” he says sarcastically, “that you want to do this, help the world. But I can’t always be there to assist.” He makes sure to keep his gaze steady on Junmyeon. “Sometimes I need to save myself.”

For whatever reason it is, that makes Junmyeon stop before he can retort, and stare at Kyungsoo with unwavering eyes. “What do you need to be saved from?” He asks softly and suddenly Kyungsoo feels small and vulnerable and hot and bothered all at the same time. He’s never been confronted with Junmyeon’s full attention like this before, if this even is his full attention. It feels different to Kyungsoo, something more.

He swallows and forces himself not to look from Junmyeon. “Myself.”

Junmyeon flips up the breaks of his chair and places his hands on the wheels, rolling closer to Kyungsoo. He stops right before Kyungsoo and flips the breaks down once more, folding his hands in his lap. “Do you think you can’t come to me when you need it?” His voice is low and quiet, something private just between them.

“I didn’t say that,” Kyungsoo replies, his voice just as soft.

“Because you can,” he says. “You can always come to me when you need something Kyungsoo, not just ask me to look into something or whatever, but as a friend.” Junmyeon hesitates for a second but then he reaches out and takes Kyungsoo’s hand in his own. “I really do care about you, no matter what you seem think.”

The touch of his skin against Kyungsoo’s own is such a contrast. Junmyeon’s hand is cool comparison, wrapped around Kyungsoo’s. He squeezes Kyungsoo’s fingers making him let out a soft chuckle despite how his nerves are racking up again. His need growing impossibly.

“What’s going on with you Kyungsoo?” Junmyeon asks for a second time that day, putting more feeling into his voice this time. “Tell me; ask me if you need something.”

Kyungsoo shrugs a little, refusing to let his hand fall from Junmyeon’s. “What if I don’t know how to ask?”

Junmyeon seems to consider this, watching Kyungsoo carefully. “Then,” he says, voice rough as he looks down to where their hands are connected. “Maybe you should just take what you want, what you need.”

A laugh bubbles up from his chest, high pitched and ridiculous. “I’m not sure you’d be okay with that I need to take.”

He smirks in response, just this small tilt of the corner of his mouth when he looks back up at Kyungsoo’s face. “You’d be surprised.” He pulls on Kyungsoo arm, catching him off guard, quick and sudden, causing Kyungsoo to lose his balance for the smallest second, falling into Junmyeon’s lap. “Sometimes,” Junmyeon says, wrapping an arm around Kyungsoo’s waist, raising the hand that was holding Kyungsoo’s own to cup his cheek, “I feel that you don’t think you deserve to be happy.”

Kyungsoo swallows thickly. “Why?”

“Because,” he says. “You allow yourself to suffer.” He leans in to kiss Kyungsoo. It’s soft and chaste, just the briefest brush of his lips on Kyungsoo’s, but it’s enough to release something tight in his chest.

He lets out a harsh breath through his nose and leans in close to Junmyeon, dipping his head to deepen the kiss. Junmyeon makes a soft pleased sound in response, sliding his hand to the back on Kyungsoo’s neck, threading his fingers through the hair at his nape. “You’re so warm,” Junmyeon says. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Mhm,” Kyungsoo says, bringing his own hands up to Junmeyons neck and shoulders. “More than okay,” he mumbles into the kiss, before slipping his tongue into Junmyeon’s mouth.

“Then,” Junmyeon says between kisses, sliding his hand down Kyungsoo’s back and to his hip. They’re doing this a little awkwardly, but Kyungsoo can’t be bothered to adjust how he’s sitting on Junmyeon’s lap, if all goes according to plan, they’ll be in his bed soon, chair forgotten until morning. “Why were you so out of it today?”

Kyungsoo groans softly into the kiss, half hard in his tight black skinny jeans “I’ll tell you later,” he says, moving his mouth to Junmyeon’s cheek, kissing the soft skin there, mouthing his way to Junmyeon’s warm, smooth neck under the collar of his shirt. He suddenly wishes Junmyeon could walk, could stand from this chair and move them both to Kyungsoo’s room and lay them on the bed. He wishes, Junmyeon could lift him and push him against the wall with Kyungsoo’s legs wrapped around his waist, heels digging into his back.

He forces himself to pull away, to breathe in and out harshly, trying to right himself in the world. He’s too far gone, needs too much to stop now but first he needs to move, to adjust them so he’s at least straddling Junmyeon’s lap, able to get some friction.

Junmyeon is dazed when Kyungsoo pulls away, eyes far and unfocused as Kyungsoo slips off his lap. Junmyeon lets out a small pleading sound that he doesn’t even seem aware of, his hands still reaching out for Kyungsoo, fingers falling from his hair and the fabric of his shirt.

Kyungsoo shushes him and kicks off his boots at random then throws a leg over Junmyeon’s, lowering himself onto Junmyeon’s lap once more, front to front, their chests pushed together. He smiles slyly at Junmyeon, dipping in close for their lips to graze each other again as he tangles his fingers in Junmyeon’s hair, making it messy.

He loves the hot press of Junmyeon against him, even through their clothing. The way his body is well defined lines and heat. His hands grip tightly at Kyungsoo’s hips, fingers digging into the flesh as if he’s holding on for dear life but enjoying the ride. This is what Kyungsoo has been dying for for months, wishing and wanting but not knowing how to take, not even sure if Junmyeon wanted it as well.

He’s not even aware of it at first, the way he slowly rocks his hips against Junmyeon, pressing his clothed erection onto Junmyeon’s stomach, rubbing against his abs. Kyungsoo lets out a shuddering gasp at the feeling, mouth open while Junmyeon continues to kiss him.

“Is there something you want?” Junmyeon forces out eventually, trailing his lips against Kyungsoo’s cheek.

Kyungsoo hums in response, pressing his hips against Junmyeon even harder. “A few things.”

“Tell me.”

Kyungsoo smirks into his mouth, nipping at his lip. “I can show you instead,” he says and takes Junmyeon’s hand in his own, moving it from his hip to his thigh, enjoying the heat radiating off of it, adding to his own. He slides it down his thigh just a bit before moving it back up close to the button of his jeans. “Please?” He asks, popping the button open himself and pushing up towards his hand.

Junmyeon smiles gently at Kyungsoo, brushing his nose against his cheek. Kyungsoo is dimly aware of how this isn’t just meaningless sex with some random stranger. This is more, this is Junmyeon and him and everything he could have possibly hoped for. This is dangerous and he doesn’t want to stop it.

He hears the soft sound of the door in the back of his mind as Junmyeon lowers the zipper cupping him through his jeans and boxers making his breath hitch. “I’m so close, Junmyeon,” he mutters into his mouth, thrusting his hips up. “ _Please_.”

“Of course,” Junmyeon says, working his hand into the limited space to pull Kyungsoo out, his fingers soft and warm against his bare skin, having him slip through the slit in his boxers.

“Oh, my God,” a voice that is neither Kyungsoo’s or Junmyeon’s says just before he can get used to the feel of Junmyeon’s fingers on his cock, gripping him tightly and pulling him off.

Kyungsoo’s body suddenly tenses, fight or flight instincts kicking in. He can’t run with his dick hanging out though so he presses closer to Junmyeon, ignoring how awkward the situation suddenly turned in a matter of seconds as he wraps an arm around Junmyeon’s neck. He peeks up at the door to see Minseok who is looking torn between laughing, pleased, and scarred for life.

“I am _so_ sorry,” Minseok says holding a hand up to his mouth before thinking better of it and bringing it up to his eyes. “I didn’t know you were home or that you’d be back this early or...” He trails off and laughs weakly. “Act like I’m not even here,” he says and slips off into his room which is unfortunately only separated from the living room by a curtain.

Kyungsoo doesn’t remove himself from Junmyeon’s person, heart racing in his chest. He licks his lips which are oh so conveniently pressed against Junmyeon’s neck from when he tried to hide himself as best as he could, licking Junmyeon’s neck in turn. He lets out a small shiver against Kyungsoo, fingers tightening in his sides. “Um,” Kyungsoo says slowly, voice rough. “Maybe we should...”

“Yeah,” Junmyeon agrees.

“But I can’t...”

Junmyeon nods. “Yeah.” It takes him a moment to remove his fingers from Kyungsoo and to reach down to his breaks, flipping them so he can slowly roll them into Kyungsoo’s room, his chair barely making it through the doorway.

They sit there awkwardly before Kyungsoo thinks to just grab the blanket off his bed and slip quickly into the bathroom. “I’ll just be a second,” he says before closing the door on Junmyeon’s response.

He looks wrecked when he sees his reflection. His cheeks are a bright shade of red, eyes wide, pupils large and round. On his neck he seems the beginnings of a hickey which is just great. Some small sick part of him wants to poke at it but he refrains for now. He runs a hand through his sweaty, ruined hair before looking down at the state of himself. He can’t be bothered to squeeze back into his jeans, not with how close to tipping once more he is, so he shucks them completely, tossing them in the laundry basket. His boxers are mildly loose once he tucks himself back in, hissing at his own touch because he’s still a little turned on and if he wanted to, Kyungsoo could probably beat one out right now and it would only take a minute or two.

But he won’t. That’s rude. And weird. This whole fucking thing is weird.

He slips back out of the bathroom to see Junmyeon right where he was before, rubbing his eyes with his fingers, glasses discarded and folded up, resting in his lap. Junmyeon lets out a long sigh. Kyungsoo pads quietly to his bed and sits on the edge, closest to Junmyeon’s chair, wrapping the blanket around himself.

“So,” he says slowly, “that just happened.” He keeps his eyes on the blanket in his lap, rubbing the fabric between his fingers.

“Yeah,” Junmyeon agrees.

Kyungsoo takes a few deep breaths, debating on what to do next. He could tell Junmyeon the truth, could say that he meant it all but he couldn’t help but take like Junmyeon said he should because he wanted, he wanted so much and Junmyeon was there and...

“It’s later now, I think,” he says.

Kyungsoo nods but doesn’t say anything at first, just keeps rubbing the blanket between his fingers. He gathers his thoughts, tries to put together the best way to say this. “I have been acting...weird,” he admits meekly. He glances up at Junmyeon. “It’s just another one of those Manticore things,” he says.

“What do you mean?” Junmyeon rests his elbows on his knees and leans forward, closer into Kyungsoo’s space.

He sighs. “My DNA has, um, feline DNA in it.” Kyungsoo lifts a hand to rub at the bridge of his nose closing his eyes and waiting for the other shoe to drop. “Every few months my genetic makeup likes to throw in this bitch slap of reality to remind me I’m not a real boy.” He lets his hand drop to his lap again, curling his fingers into the blanket. He lifts his head to look at Junmyeon head on. “I’m in heat.”

“Oh,” Junmyeon says. His voice has no specific tone it and it makes Kyungsoo panic. He’s fucked up, he thinks. He shouldn’t have told Junmyeon. He shouldn’t have even acted on his feelings like he wanted to, like he’s been dying too since forever now.

“I know I’m not entirely all together right now,” Kyungsoo says, feeling his heart trying to beat it’s way out of his chest. “But I did mean it, earlier, in the living room.” He laughs at himself, shaking his head. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you forever. I just didn’t know how to, or if I even should.”

Junmyeon doesn’t say anything for a while but then he does, says Kyungsoo’s name softly and takes his hand in his own. “It’s fine,” he says. He squeezes Kyungsoo’s fingers. “I’m glad you did.”

“Even though all I can think about right now is your dick?”

That startles a laugh out of Junmyeon who shrugs easily. “Sure.” He dips his head close and presses a small chaste kiss to Kyungsoo’s lips. “Because you’re being honest with me.”

Kyungsoo kisses him back just as gently then pulls his face back far enough where he can’t be too tempted to do more. “I didn’t want to lie,” he says, looking at his hand in Junmyeon’s. “It’s just not something I want to talk about.”

“I understand,” Junmyeon says. “But you do realize that just because there are things about you that aren’t normal or there’s something special about your DNA doesn’t mean I’m going to like you any less.”

“Really?” Kyungsoo asks, incredulously.

He laughs and shakes his head, as if Kyungsoo is the ridiculous one, yeah okay. “Yes, Kyungsoo.”

“That’s,” he starts, “really awesome, actually.” He can’t help but laugh as well and something in his chest swells when Junmyeon squeezes his fingers.

They sit in companionable silence for a while, Kyungsoo able to ignore his body and needs for a bit in the excitement that Junmyeon actually likes him, who would’ve thought. Finally, he can’t help but say, “I don’t want to, you know, while I’m like this.” He bites his lips. “I want it to be normal and nice. Not just because I need it. Not the first time.”

Junmyeon nods. “That’s fine.” He looks around for a moment then back at their hands trying to decide what to do. “Do you, uh, want me to leave?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “That’s probably for the best.” But even as he says it, Kyungsoo makes no move to let go of his hand. “Who knows when I’ll start to lose it again.”

Junmyeon gets that worried look on his face, like he wants to say or do something but isn’t sure if he should. It’s weird to see Junmyeon confused about his choices, he’s always so sure and confident that it makes Kyungsoo happy to know he put that confusion there, even if it’s over something like having sex. “I know what you want, but are you sure it’s the right decision? How long does this usually last?”

“Two or three days, depending on,” he says. “And I’m sure. I’ll be fine. Nothing bad’ll happen if I just ride it out.” Junmyeon doesn’t look convinced causing Kyungsoo to roll his eyes. “If it makes you feel any better, I was thinking about calling in sick tomorrow, suffering at home in bed.”

“That does make me feel better, actually.”

He snorts. “You just like the idea that I won’t be lusting after anyone else I see.”

Junmyeon shrugs. “I’m sorry?”

Kyungsoo laughs and leans in to kiss Junmyeon once more, squeezing his hand in return for earlier. “You really should go home now,” he says and removes all physical contact. “But, I’ll call you, once this is past. And we can, I don’t know, get dinner or something?”

“I’d like that,” Junmyeon says with a small smile. He doesn’t move right away, just smiles dumbly at Kyungsoo before realizing what he’s doing and clearing his throat. “Right, I’ll go.” He quickly cleans off his glasses and slips them back onto his face then flips up the breaks of his chair and slowly navigates his way out of Kyungsoo’s room.

Kyungsoo sits there a few minutes, letting out a breath once he hears the door close behind Junmyeon, flopping back onto his bed with a sigh.

“I’m not sure if I’m proud of you for finally getting some sense and hooking up with him, or disappointed in you for letting him leave without actually having sex with him.” Minseok’s standing in the doorway of Kyungsoo’s room, an exasperated look on his face as he shakes his head sadly. “I was hoping for the dirty details.”

Kyungsoo rolls on his side, wrapping himself up more in the blanket. “You are a very strange straight man,” he says. “You realize this right?”

“I am not the issue here,” Minseok says. He comes over and crouches at the foot of Kyungsoo’s bed, bringing them to the same level. “No more pining?”

Kyungsoo can’t fight the smile that takes over his face. “No more pining.”

“Thank fucking God.” He sighs. “My plan was to lock you two in a closet or something.”

Narrowing his eyes, he thinks about that one for a second. “Why would we be in a closet together?”

“I think you’re missing the irony of the situation,” he deadpans. “I’m happy for you though,” Minseok admits quietly. “That you and Junmyeon finally talked about this.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo agrees. “Me too.”

It sucks, he thinks, that he’s in the middle of this horrible Manticore inflicted self-hell, because he would love to just spend a night with Junmyeon, not doing anything but sitting and talking, maybe even curled up in bed together, holding hands. He’s a little bitter that they can’t but he figures that just means they can enjoy it more later, when Kyungsoo doesn’t need to quarantine himself from half the population just to keep his head on straight and his hands to himself.

Two days, Kyungsoo promises himself. In two days he can do whatever he wants with Junmyeon and no one can stop him. Not even HyunJong himself.

  

* 

 

When Kyungsoo’s back to himself he calls up Junmyeon. “Oh, I was just about to call you,” he says the moment he answers the phone and a feeling of dread fills Kyungsoo’s stomach.

“Small world.” He sinks heavily into the cushions of the couch, holding back a sigh. “What’s up?”

The sound of Junmyeon’s typing filters over the phone line as he speaks. “I got a call from one of my contacts about the missing girls. He spotted a police van with two officers putting girls into the back. They all had the same characteristics of our other missing girls.”

Kyungsoo should’ve known that no matter what they said the other day, everything will always come back to this. Saving the world. He feels a little bitter about it, but knows that this is the right thing to do. “And you’re thinking it probably has something to do with our guy.”

“Well,” Junmyeon says. “If it looks like a duck and acts like a duck.”

“Then it’s probably a duck.” Kyungsoo closes his eyes and lays back on the couch. “So, what’s the plan?”

“Since they have this whole big operation, I would imagine that Winston Rozero isn’t only working from one airfield. I’m currently looking for other abandoned ones within the city. He’s bound to turn up at one of them.”

“And what,” Kyungsoo asks, “I’m just supposed to drop by all of them and hope we get the right one?” Annoyance laces his voice no matter how hard he tries to keep it out, both at the situation they’ve been put in and at the fact that he can never seem to escape the scum of the earth. “By the time we find them these girls could be halfway around the world to a sex trafficking ring.”

“I’m doing the best I can, Kyungsoo.”

He scoffs. “Sometimes our best isn’t good enough, Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon stops typing. “I want to help these girls as much as you do, they don’t deserve what’s being done to them and we have a limited time frame on being able to catch them before they get shipped out of the country.” He takes a deep breath. “But that doesn’t mean I can sit here and argue with you in subtext about a completely different matter.”

“Who's arguing, Junmyeon? I’m not arguing.” Kyungsoo looks around his living room as if someone is there watching him, catching onto his white lie.

“I meant what I said.” Junmyeon’s voice is soft, low, taking on the tone that it had the other night. “We’ll get our time, but this needs to come first. I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t do something to stop it, and you wouldn’t either.”

Kyungsoo sighs. He hates how soft Junmyeon can be and how it in turn makes Kyungsoo soft. He’s supposed to not be moved by anything, and yet here he is. “I know.”

After a brief moment of silence between them, Junmyeon resumes his typing and when he speaks again, it’s as if the moment never happened. “I have a friend in the S1W—“

“That terrorist group?”

He can hear the way Junmyeon clenches his teeth. “They’re not _terrorist_ ,” he says. “They’re…people like us. People who want to do some good, change the world.”

Kyungsoo can’t help the hint a smile that takes over his face and he rolls himself over on the couch to sit up. “Okay, so you have a friend with them? So, what?”

“They’re going to help out with searching the airfields. I’ll call you once we’ve located Rozero, alright?”

“I don’t have much of a choice in the matter, do I?” Kyungsoo asks petulantly. “Alright. I’ll be ready, don’t take all day, okay?”

“What’s that even supposed to mean?” Junmyeon nearly squawks. “It’s already sunset!”

With a roll of his eyes, Kyungsoo says, “Goodbye, Junmyeon,” and hangs up the phone. He’s hoping they’ll get this over and done with quickly, not for his own personal reasons, but also for those girls. Kyungsoo knows what it’s like to be trapped somewhere against your will. Hopefully, this will make those girls stronger in the end and not afraid of the world they live in.

  

* 

 

Warton Airfield and one of Kyungsoo’s least favorite places solely because it’s on the harbor. There’s just something about it that bothers Kyungsoo, he’s not entirely sure what. Maybe it has to do with the damp air and how the fog seems to constantly be rolling around here.

When Junmyeon called an hour later and told him that the members of the S1W tracked down the location that Rozero was at, Kyungsoo could admit he was honestly ready to punch the guy in the face, even though he knew it wouldn’t be that easy. The airfield was crawling with guys holding guns, all ready for any trouble that arose, but Kyungsoo was ready too.

“I gotta ask,” he says, after having snuck up behind two of the guys hiding outside, guarding a plane that was getting ready for takeoff. “What honestly possess a person to kidnap little girls?”

The two turn around, guns raised and cocked at Kyungsoo. He raises an unimpressed brow at them. “How’d you get in here?”

Kyungsoo looks around them. “It’s an abandoned airfield. I got in the same way you did.”

“The others should’ve taken care of you.” Says guy one, who is sporting a very bad goatee.

He slips his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket and nods. “Yeah, they probably should’ve, but someone didn’t teach them how to fight all that well, and where we are.” Kyungsoo rolls his shoulders into a shrug. “I do hope you’ll prove to be more of a challenge.”

“Maybe we should just throw you in there with the rest of the girls,” says guy number two. “You sure are pretty enough. I bet the men overseas would have a field day with you.”

Kyungsoo glares at the guy. “How about instead I knock your lights out and drop the two of you and all your little friends along with your boss in the back of this plane and ship you off overseas myself instead?”

Goatee lets out a growl-like noise from his throat. “Enough of this,” he says and fires his gun, aiming for Kyungsoo who darts out of the way just as fast.

“What _is it_ with people shooting at me?” He grabs Goatee’s wrist, twisting it back so he drops the gun and kicks it to the side, making it skid away on the asphalt. Kyungsoo quickly pulls his free hand back, curling it into a fist and punching the guy in the nose, knocking him out.

Guy number two looks on in mild awe as Goatee drops to the ground but composes his face back into a glare seconds later when Kyungsoo rounds on him. “You shit,” he grumbles and gets ready to fire his gun as well (because it did so much the first time around).

Kyungsoo kicks his foot out, hooking it behind one of the guy’s legs, pulling it from under him and causing him to fall, cracking his head on the ground. He groans out in pain, gun slipping out of his grasp. “If you want to get anything done, less talk more action,” Kyungsoo says to him, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and pulling him up from the ground only to slam his head back down against it, rendering him unconscious.

He rises to his feet with a sigh and risks a glance at one of the guns. Rozero will probably be out soon and the moment he notices his guys are gone, he’s going to be on high alert.

On any given day, Kyungsoo would not be considering the aid of a gun as his weapon of choice, but there are worse things that could happen to this guy than a bullet lodged in his skin. Without much of a second thought, he reaches down and picks up the discarded gun, testing its weight in his hands, fingers wrapped around the handle. The piece feels wrong and foreign in his hand, but he ignores it in favor of checking the magazine to see how many bullets are left. He only needs one, but sometimes things do go wrong.

Kyungsoo makes quick work of moving the guys’ bodies, hiding them under the shadows of the plane, a bit poorly, but he’s not counting on Rozero’s observational skills. He sneaks up the small ladder against the side of the plane and slips inside the cabin, pressing his back against the wall right next to the door. The gun is gripped tightly in his hand and all he has to do is wait.

Rozero doesn’t make him wait long, within a few minutes he’s clomping up the ladder, muttering under his breath as the engines for the plane roar to life. Kyungsoo has to force himself not to move until the right moment, keeping himself glued to the wall.

Rozero stops once he’s at the doorway and for a split second, Kyungsoo holds his breath. “You!” Rozero shouts and Kyungsoo moves at the same moment that Rozero points his gun at Kyungsoo, readying to fire. He moves faster though, kicking Rozero in the stomach and sending him out the plane and onto the ground. Without thinking, Kyungsoo points the gun at Rozero’s leg and fires, rendering it useless for escape.

Rozero cries out in pain, hands latching onto his thigh where Kyungsoo shot, quickly becoming slick with blood. In the distance, he sees Junmyeon’s car and assumes he’s on the phone with the police.

 

* 

 

“What are you hanging around here for?” Kyungsoo asks, leaning himself against the driver’s side door of Junmyeon’s car.

“Thought maybe you could use a little back up.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Did you forget who I am?”

Junmyeon smiles. “I knew you wouldn’t be able to call this in once you had handled everything so I took the liberty of keeping an eye on you.”

“How generous.” They watch as Detective Sung and the police gather up the men that worked with Rozero and pack them away into cars.

The passenger side door of Junmyeon’s car opens, gaining Kyungsoo’s attention. He looks inside the car to see a person he’s never met before, looking right at home at Junmyeon’s side. “Who’s your friend?” He asks, but keeps his voice perfectly neutral as he pushes himself up straight.

Junmyeon looks to his right and spots the new comer. “This is Baekhyun, he’s part of the S1W I told you about.” Kyungsoo nods slowly. “He stuck around to help make sure no one else snuck up behind you.”

A sour taste fills Kyungsoo’s mouth but he tries not to let it show. “Thanks,” he says instead.

Baekhyun smiles brightly, seemingly unbothered by anything despite the shit show they just prevented. “Anything for a friend of Junmyeon’s.”

He watches Baekhyun for a second and the way he radiates around Junmyeon, body angled toward him just so, eyes almost gravitating towards him even as he looks at Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo can’t help but smirk and says, “Of course.”

“You’re pretty good at what you do,” Baekhyun adds. “You should work with the S1W, we could use someone like you.”

By the grace of God, perhaps, Kyungsoo does not snort in his face, knowing for certain Junmyeon would have something to say about that. “Sorry,” he says in his best mock polite voice. “I prefer to work on my own.” He slips a hand into his pocket and pulls out his keys. It’s time he gets out of here and away from these two. “I’m gonna jet.”

“Do you need a ride?” Junmyeon asks, full focus on Kyungsoo even as Baekhyun looks ready to talk about something else.

“Nah.” Kyungsoo holds up his keys and shakes them. “I’ve got my baby stashed away. I need a nice long ride around the city after all that.”

Junmyeon looks wary but lets it go. “I’ll call you later?”

Kyungsoo nods and slips off before he can see anything else that happens between them. It doesn’t take a genius to see the interest that Baekhyun has in Junmyeon, but it appears that while Junmyeon is ridiculously smart, he’s also the most oblivious human being on the planet.

He doesn’t blame Baekhyun for his interest. Junmyeon is honestly a great guy, if not a little dense. What hurts, and that’s not a feeling Kyungsoo thought he’d ever have in this regard, is that they both have similar interests. That drive to save the world, and while Kyungsoo is not a heartless beast that only cares about himself, his compassion for everyone else is not nearly as grand as Junmyeon’s. He’ll never care that much.

There’s a sick little voice in the back of his head that tells him that maybe this is for the best. He’s not a _real boy_ after all, and Junmyeon needs someone that can be on the same page as him one hundred percent.

As Kyungsoo drives around the city, enjoying the feel, the power his motorcycle holds, propelling him through the streets and the night he locks away his feelings for Junmyeon once more. Maybe if he pretends they don’t exist long enough, they’ll go away and he can go back to how things used to be and Junmyeon can be happy with someone who is normal.

 

 

|| ⁞ || ⁞ ||

 

 

Kyungsoo wakes with a start, eyes snapping open at a loud thumping on the apartment door. He groans as the heavy handed guest smacks against the door like it’s not six in the morning and people aren’t trying to sleep. He idly wonders if they’ll go away if he ignores them, but figures the answer is probably no. One can dream though.

He shuffles his way to the living room, ready to glare at whoever is on the other side of the door. “This better be good,” he says, pulling the door open. He keeps one hand braced on the door frame as he yanks it open, focusing his glare on the person outside.

Standing in the hallway looking as annoying a ever is Shindong, wearing his ever present uniform. Kyungsoo hears Minseok shuffle out of his room coming to stand behind him to see what all the noise is about. “Morning ladies,” Shindong says, smiling without conviction. He’s never seen Shindong be anything but what half the cops in Seattle are these days, and that’s lying, bribe taking scumbags. “And how are you this morning?”

He hears Minseok snort behind him as he turns to make his way into the kitchen.

“What do you want?” Kyungsoo asks, walking away from the door, allowing it to swing back into Shindong’s face as he follows Minseok. “Don’t you know what normal business hours mean?”

Shindong laughs, sounding just as fake as always. “Come on now,” he says, waltzing his way into the room, standing on the other side of the counter. “We’re all friends here, right?”

Minseok looks up from where he’s setting up some mugs for coffee. “ _Right_ ,” he agrees. “The best of friends.” He slams the kettle onto the stove before heading off to his room.

Shindong doesn’t look convinced as he watches Minseok go. It’s always leaves Kyungsoo a little disgusted to just look at Shindong, but watching him watch his best friend his his half dressed state leaves the taste of bile in the back of his throat. He slams his hand on his side of the counter. “Why are you here.” He demands without making it a question.

Shindong gives him a dirty smirk. “You know why.”

He scoffs, snatching the kettle off the fire and filling his mug. “You’re a week early,” he says. “Come back when it’s the first of the month.”

“No can do,” Shindong says, placing his hands on his belt. “Times are rough and, well, you’re just a bunch of squatters.” He shrugs and begins to pace the room. “As I see it, I don’t have to do anything but make sure this building is squatter free.”

Kyungsoo leans back against the sink behind him and folds an arm across his chest, holding his coffee mug up to his lips with the other. He watches Shindong objectively as he drinks, keeping his face impassive as he considers all the ways he could kill this man. Maybe not kill, he amends, just seriously hurt. To the point where he couldn’t work anymore. It’s a very nice mental image.

“Now,” Shindong continues. “You can either pay up, or get out.”

“You’re pretty demanding,” Kyungsoo says. “Especially for someone so low on the food chain of command.” He sips casually from his mug and watches as Shindong begins to seethe.

Shindong grinds his teeth and Kyungsoo has to fight the urge to smile. “You rotten shi--”

“Here,” Minseok says, coming out of his room and holding out an envelope to Shindong. “It’s not an entire month’s--”

“Considering your ignorant ass is early.”

“--but it’s what we have.”

Shindong snatches the envelope out of Minseok’s hand and counts the money inside before folding it all back up and slipping it into his pocket. “Seventh floor vacant and secure,” he says into his walkie on his shoulder. He struts past Minseok and too the door, smiling at the both of them when he opens it and turns to face the room at large. “See you ladies next week for the rest,” he says and closes the door behind him.

Kyungsoo doesn’t say anything at first, and neither does Minseok.

Taking a loud slurp of his coffee Kyungsoo finally speaks. “One day that pig is gonna come waltzing into here and I’m gonna shove that nightstick up his fat ass.” He downs the rest of his coffee and puts his mug down hard on the counter.

Minseok sighs, pressing a hand to his forehead. “He does this every month and every month you provoke him, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo stops on his way back to his room and turns to look at Minseok. “Because it’s wrong!” He nearly shouts, voice rising against his will. “Every month he comes in here like he owns the damn place, putting us down and acting like we’re helpless and I’m getting tired of it, Minseok.”

“I understand,” he starts to say but Kyungsoo doesn’t let him finish.

“Every month he comes in here and says these things, leers at you like you have no human rights.” he steps farther back into the room. “I cannot have him calling us ‘ladies’ one more time. I swear, I’m gonna lose it.”

Minseok just sighs. “He’s a cop, we can’t do anything about it.”

Kyungsoo remains quiet for a moment. “We shouldn’t have to live like this.”

“It’s called a recession, a depression even.” They’ve had this conversation before, a few times, and Minseok always points this out. It’s a recession, he says, there’s no money, he points out. “There’s this thing called The Pulse that happened, knocked us from a first world country almost.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo agrees like always. “But I didn’t escape one hell where people talk down to me to live in another.” He’s never said that before, but it’s true. It’s times like this that Kyungsoo _almost_ misses Manticore. At least there he was... something. Even if it was a billion dollar soldier.

Minseok just blinks, staring at Kyungsoo before saying, “well maybe you should move out then.” This throws Kyungsoo off. “I mean honestly, you’ve got a boyfriend now, with a fancy penthouse apartment, rich as can be.” Minseok shrugs. “Why are you still here? We’re _’just squatters’_ after all.”

Kyungsoo almost replies with, “Maybe I should,” but the look on Minseok’s face makes him stop, and the defeated but still stubborn set of his shoulders as he turns to his room makes Kyungsoo’s stomach churn uneasily. “Minseok,” he calls out, “that’s not what I meant.” But Minseok doesn’t respond.

 

* 

 

Now, Kyungsoo isn’t a stranger to bad days, he’s had more than he can count honestly, but that doesn’t mean he’s the most well equipped to handle them. By the time lunch rolls around he’s delivered five packages, gotten two tips under a dollar and someone spit on him. His slightly sour mood from the morning is bordering on murderous. In addition to that, his guilt is at an all time high and Minseok won’t even look at him.

“You know,” Chanyeol says dropping himself next to Kyungsoo at one of the tables in the loft area of Jam Pony, “for as long as I’ve known you I have never seen you not have lunch with Minseok.” He looks pointedly at Kyungsoo then down at Minseok who’s hanging out by the lockers, munching on a bag of chips as he talks to one of their other co-workers. “So in times like these I have to wonder who fucked up.”

Kyungsoo glares at him. “I don’t think that’s any of your business, and even if it was I don’t have to share my life with you, or anyone.” He stands from the table, leaving his lunch behind.

Much to his annoyance, Chanyeol follows. “C’mon, you two are like my best friends, you can’t fight.”

“Back off, Chanyeol.” He snatches a package off the counter and glances at the address, memorizing it in seconds before shoving it in his backpack.

Chanyeol lets out a whistle. “What’s got your panties in a bunch?”

Kyungsoo has him pinned to one of the pillars in the room in the next second, hand around Chanyeol’s throat. “You’re gonna shut up and you’re gonna do it now,” he growls out. Chanyeol doesn’t even move, staring at Kyungsoo with wide eyes as everything around them goes quiet, all eyes on Kyungsoo. “I’m sick of everyone insinuating that _I_ am the problem, that I am the one at fault.”

“I didn’t say you were.”

“Shut up,” He repeats. He keeps his glare on Chanyeol, not loosening his grip from around his throat.

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Ryeowook walk into the room, clipboard in his hand as always. “Oh lord,” he says. “Not again.” He walks over to where Kyungsoo has Chanyeol pinned to the wall. “What’d you do this time?”

Chanyeol does his best to squawk. “Me? Why do you assume it’s me?”

Ryeowook looks at Kyungsoo then to Chanyeol again. “Why else would you be in this position?” He rolls his eyes. “No drawing of blood on work property. You wanna kill him do it outside.” He walks away with that, commanding people to get back to work.

“Kyungsoo,” Chanyeol says breathlessly. “It’s getting hard to breathe.”

Kyungsoo hmphs in response but lets him go to slide to the floor, hand to his throat. He doesn’t bother to look at all their other co-workers, especially not Minseok, before leaving once more. It’s too stifling just being in the same room as someone who is tremendously pissed off at him.

 

* 

 

There almost is never a moment when Kyungsoo is not put together, not ready for action, not willing to fight, but as he slips into Junmyeon’s apartment that evening he’s feeling rather off. It must show on his face because Junmyeon takes one look at him and offers to cook dinner. It’s not unusual for about half of their evenings together, but more often than not Junmyeon makes him help. Today he forces Kyungsoo to sit in the living room until everything is done, being taunted with the smells and sounds of Junmyeon working some magic in the kitchen.

They don’t talk while they eat, sitting at opposite ends of the couch, legs tangled in the middle cushion. The sound of forks on plates is the only sound the fills the apartment.

As if to make matters better, the power goes out just after they finish. “Figures,” he mutters under his breath, extracting himself from the couch and Junmyeon to go around the closest rooms to gather and light some candles. “I hate Brownouts,” Kyungsoo says when he sits back down.

“Seems very fitting with your mood today, through,” Junmyeon says lightly. “Want to tell me what’s wrong?”

Kyungsoo shrugs at first, refusing to look at Junmyeon who doesn’t push for an answer but just sits there and waits Kyungsoo out in silence until he finally says, “Got into a fight with Minseok this morning.” He glances up at Junmyeon’s face. “It was pretty bad.”

“What was it about?”

He laughs humorlessly. “Stupid shit.” He licks his lips and slides down on the couch a little, until his head is against the armrest knees up and blocking his view of Junmyeon. “Shindong was giving us the shake down this morning, woke us up early put me in a bad mood from the start.” Kyungsoo pauses, choosing his next words carefully. “He’s always been a sleazebag, put me on edge.”

Junmyeon shifts as much as he can at the other end of the couch, sliding to the middle cushion and leaning his weight against Kyungsoo’s legs as comfort. “How so?”

“He...leers at Minseok sometimes. A lot of the time. Calls us ‘ladies’ when addressing the both of us.” He closes his eyes and breathes slowly. “I get that we can’t afford an apartment in a real building. We’re messengers and poor. Fine. Whatever.” Kyungsoo opens his eyes back up and looks directly at Junmyeon. “But I don’t appreciate being treated like shit by some fatass cop who is at the bottom of the totem pole with fucking squatter duty.”

Junmyeon is quiet for a long time, staring back at Kyungsoo.

“I lost it a little, before he left, and after. Minseok said maybe I should move out.”

He shrugs. “It’s up to you.”

Kyungsoo laughs again. “And go where, Junmyeon?”

“I know I’ve never said it, but you can stay here.” He finally glances away from Kyungsoo and swallows audibly. “I have a lot of space, as you know, and...it might be nice to share some space with you.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t laugh at that, doesn’t know what to say even, but suddenly his chest feels tight, his skin constricting. His head his pounding, forcing Kyungsoo to close his eyes against the sudden clusterfuck of things he’s feeling. He doesn’t know he’s shaking until he jerks violently, tipping himself off the couch. He’s having a seizure.

On the floor Kyungsoo curls in on himself, bringing his knees as close to his chest as possible, wrapping his arms around them. He knows it’s not going to help, not in the least, but there’s less of a chance for him to knock into something this way. Above him, Kyungsoo can distantly hear Junmyeon talking to him, making noise as he tries to get back into his chair.

“Just hold on,” he hears as he squeezes his eyes shut. It’s a long few minutes as Kyungsoo shakes on the floor, body out of his control. He’s used to this, sure, but that doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. It makes it hard to fight against the world, to live on. He goes from being a revved up boy to a lemon in seconds and he despises it. It’s all because instead of being born he was made in a god damn test tube.

When a lull comes about Kyungsoo pulls himself up off the floor and back onto the couch, curling in on himself once more. “There are times,” he says softly, voice rough, “that I hate what humans are capable of.” He jerks against his will a few times, making his next words weak and shaky. “If I wasn’t man made this wouldn’t be happening. My... my brain wouldn’t be flawed.”

Junmyeon pulls his chair up right next to the couch, leaning down towards Kyungsoo, running a hand through his hair. “Anything I can do to help?”

Kyungsoo tries to smile but he can’t find the energy to. “In my jacket,” he starts to say then cuts himself off when he shakes to violently to be able to think. “There’s a pill bottle. Tryptophan.”

“Okay,” he says but doesn’t move right away, doesn’t do anything but keep a comforting hand on Kyungsoo for a few seconds more.

When Junmyeon comes back, Kyungsoo sits up and take a handful of the pills dry. He’s so used to them now that swallowing them down is like nothing to him. He places the bottle on the table and lays down again. “Murphy's law,” Kyungsoo mumbles, body going through endless tiny tremors now. “Anything that can go wrong will. Has.”

“Quite the cynic,” Junmyeon says with humor.

“Realist,” Kyungsoo corrects, but even as he says it he reaches a hand out for Junmyeon’s, squeezing it tightly. “Stay with me?”

Junmyeon nods. “Of course.”

When Kyungsoo wakes in the morning his body is stiff and feels foreign to himself. He refuses to move at first, keeping his body curled up tight on Junmyeon’s couch, hiding under the covers that had been placed on him at some point during the night. The apartment is quiet around him, making the world seem muted and calm. Kyungsoo allows himself to fall into this false sense of security, enjoying the way it calms his pulse and puts him at ease. The rational part of his brain is telling him to get up, to look for Junmyeon but he doesn’t want to just yet.

Eventually, he sits up and stretches out his back, popping the vertebrae in his spine. It eases some of the stiffness in his joints, but not much. He doesn’t move after that though, keeping the blanket half draped on himself as he sits in the corner of the couch, watching the stillness of the room, trying to find Junmyeon somewhere in the apartment. Kyungsoo spaces out after a while, missing it when Junmyeon rolls his chair into the room, coming up right next to the couch.

He startles a little at the press of Junmyeon’s hand to his shoulder, eyes focusing once more and he turns to look at the other. “Hey,” he croaks out, voice low and throat dry. Junmyeon offers him a bottle of water, which he takes with a nod of his head in thanks.

“How’d you sleep?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “Okay, considering.” He looks down at his hands, holding the bottle and flexes his fingers around it. The thing about seizures is that unless you knock into something, or fall down, you never really know they happened after the fact. Sometimes, Kyungsoo isn’t sure if he’s grateful for that or not.

Junmyeon’s hand squeezes his shoulder before moving completely. “I wish there was something I could’ve done to help.”

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he lets it out he smiles at Junmyeon softly. “Don’t worry about it.” He throws the blanket it off himself and stands, moving his legs a little to work out the stiffness in them as well. “I’m fine now,” he says. “Good as new.”

Junmyeon smiles back at him, but it’s weak and doesn’t entirely reach his eyes. The sight of it makes Kyungsoo’s stomach churn uneasily. He licks his lips then says, “I should probably head out. Gotta get to work.”

“Sure,” Junmyeon replies.

Kyungsoo stands there for a moment before he turns and grabs his jacket, slipping out the apartment as quiet as can be. He doesn’t bother stopping at home on his way to work. Not seeing the point in leaving Sector Nine only to have to come right back.

 

* 

 

“Well look who’s here on time for the first time in a year,” Ryeowook says as Kyungsoo makes his way to his locker. He can hear the footsteps following him and tries hard not to roll his eyes, because honestly. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

Kyungsoo does roll his eyes then and opens his locker. “Is there something you need?”

Ryeowook shakes his head. “Nothing at all. I just hope to see more of this from you.”

He only hums in response, grabbing his bag and slamming the locker shut again. “I’ll keep that on my list of things to do.” Grabbing the package out of Ryeowook’s hands he glances at the address before slipping it in his bag and taking off.

Kyungsoo isn’t far from Jam Pony when Chanyeol pulls his bike up next to him, his cap is on backwards and he’s got headphones dangling around his neck. “Yo,” he says, keeping pace with Kyungsoo as they ride through the streets, weaving between cars. “Unusual to see you about this early.”

Despite himself, Kyungsoo snorts. “You sound like Ryeowook now.”

Chanyeol laughs. “Well, the man’s got a point. You’re late pretty often.”

He makes a sharp turn, momentarily losing Chanyeol, and causing a few cars to honk at him. “I’m sorry I have a personal life to lead,” Kyungsoo says.

“Don’t get mad at me, I’m on your side.”

Kyungsoo goes to reply, but is cut off by the sound of his beeper. He maneuvers his bike to the side of the road, closer to the buildings to look at it before glancing around the area for a pay phone. “You know,” he says once he doesn’t see any. “The age of cellphones is cool, but we can’t keep losing payphones like this.” Kyungsoo clips his beeper back to his bag and starts to ride again, shaking his head.

“You could always just buy one,” Chanyeol suggests.

He makes a face. “I’m lucky I have money for rent with how Ryeowook pays us.”

There’s a smirk on Chanyeol’s face when they pull up to an intersection, stopping at the light with everyone else. “You could always ask your boyfriend,” he says in a low, wannabe sultry voice.

Kyungsoo raises a brow at him. “Boyfriend?”

“Boytoy?”

The second brow meets the first. “What are you talking about?”

His face falls a little. “Your rich journalist.”

Kyungsoo schools his face into an impassive expression before looking away. “Junmyeon and I aren’t dating.”

“Yeah okay,” Chanyeol says, smirk evident in his voice. “And Jinri and I aren’t going to get married.”

“Exactly,” Kyungsoo replies without actually listening, scanning around for a payphone. “Wait,” he stops abruptly, causing the cars behind him to honk angrily. “Married?”

There’s a dopey smile on Chanyeol’s face when he turns to look back at Kyungsoo over his shoulder. “I’m gonna propose tonight.”

He can’t help but smile in return, happy for his friend and the life that he’s trying to make for himself despite how bad things can get. “I’m proud of you, Chanyeol.”

“Thanks Kyungsoo,” he says. “That means a lot to me.”

They part ways not too long after that, Chanyeol to make his run, and Kyungsoo to make his own of course, but he also searches for a pay phone.

Kyungsoo doesn’t manage to hit Junmyeon back up until he returns to Jam Pony to pick up a couple more small packages. Junmyeon doesn’t answer until the third ring, sounding distracted when he says, “Hello?”

“Hey,” Kyungsoo adjusts the receiver against his ear. “Me hittin’ you back. What’s up?”

There’s a pause over the line, some muffled sounds and it gives Kyungsoo a chance to look around Jam Pony. Chanyeol is off talking to someone and Minseok is over by his locker, clearly avoiding Kyungsoo. They haven’t talked since the previous morning, and it leaves an uneasy feeling in Kyungsoo’s stomach. He wants to apologize for how he acted and what he said, but it would only be half honest, and Kyungsoo hates lying to Minseok even more than not talking to him.

Minseok looks up from what he’s doing and his eyes meet with Kyungsoo’s. They stare off for a moment before he hears Junmyeon’s voice in his ear again and he tears his gaze away, swallowing his guilt for the time being.

“Nothing that important,” he starts off. “Just got some information from one of my contacts about an art collector who’s been selling some of his collection off lately.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Let me guess though, the guy hasn’t been actually selling his pieces but knock offs.”

Junmyeon makes an amused sound over the phone. “That sounds about right.”

He hums in response. “So you want me to drop by and scope out the place?”

“If it’s not too much trouble.” There’s some shuffling over the line, Junmyeon searching through papers. “I was going to do it myself if I didn’t hear back from you, I know you’ve got a lot on your plate right now.”

Shrugging, Kyungsoo pulls on the phone wire a little. “I’ve dealt with worse.”

“Yeah,” he agrees softly.

They’re both silent for a moment, long enough for Ryeowook to start complaining about his useless, lazy workers not doing their jobs. “You should all be a model employee like Kyungsoo and show up early.” Kyungsoo just snorts.

Junmyeon clears his throat, bringing back Kyungsoo’s focus to him. “Are you coming over again tonight?”

“Not sure,” he says, shifting to look for Minseok who is nowhere in sight. “I’m thinking about trying to talk to Minseok. Maybe apologize or something.”

“That might be a good idea.”

“Yeah,” his voice goes soft and quiet as he considers this. “I just don’t know how to go about it or what to say. I don’t want to fuck it up even more.” He swallows around the lump forming in his throat. “Minseok means a lot to me and I’m afraid I’m going to lose the only thing that’s kept me steady in years.”

“I doubt that’ll happen,” Junmyeon says confidently. “Minseok cares a lot about you too, but that doesn’t mean everything is easy for him either.”

Kyungsoo shrugs but says nothing. When the silence goes on between them for a few minutes Kyungsoo decides it’s time to hang up. “I should get back to work.”

“Okay. I’ll stop by later and drop off the address for you.”

“Thanks,” he says and hangs up without another word.

 

* 

 

In retrospect, Kyungsoo knew this was going to happen. Because that’s how his life is lately. Everything goes wrong. Or almost everything.

After he gets off work Kyungsoo decides to head over to the private art gallery Junmyeon mentioned. He hops on his bike and heads straight there. The place looks harmless enough, but Kyungsoo knows the deal by now and can pick out most of the alarms he, or anyone else could trip. What he doesn’t count on is a seizure striking.

Kyungsoo is aware of how lucky he is to have not knocked anything over or fallen to the ground with no way of getting up. But it still sucks.

He manages to get a few blocks away with his bike, body shaking and trembling like it’s nobodies business until it becomes too much for him and he can’t even hold onto the handlebars, letting it fall to the ground as he tries to keep moving. He can buy a new one later. Maybe.

It’s only a few more blocks before Kyungsoo’s legs give out from under him and he falls to the ground, cracking his head on the sidewalk. Everything after that is a blur.

Kyungsoo wakes in his own bed. He’s comfortable for a few seconds before his memory kicks in along with the throbbing pain in his head. He groans softly, closing his eyes once more and curling in on himself. His body feels weird and sluggish.

“You’re awake,” Minseok’s voice comes from the doorway, and Kyungsoo forces his eyes open to look at his friend. “You’ve been out for a while.”

“How’d you find me?” He rasps, throat dry.

“Hospital called,” he says and Kyungsoo has to force his eyes shut because of course he was taken to a hospital. Minseok pauses before he goes on. “I called Junmyeon, he’s going to do something about the files they have on you now, so that should be covered. They don’t know much anyway.”

“Good,” he replies. “Thanks.” He tries to clear his throat, but it doesn’t help.

Minseok slowly makes his way into the room, tentatively sitting on the edge of Kyungsoo’s bed. “What happened?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “Nothing,” he lies and immediately feels sick for it. “I just wasn’t feeling so hot.”

“All the way in Sector thirteen though?”

“I had to do something for Junmyeon. Look into some Eyes Only shit.”

Minseok considers this before asking, “That’s all it is right? Eyes Only stuff, Missions?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo swears. “I promise, it’s nothing else.”

He doesn’t look fully convinced, but Minseok takes it. “I’m making you some soup. I didn’t know what else to feed you. Doctor’s said you might have a concussion, but other than that you’re fine. They can’t figure out what caused you to fall though.”

Kyungsoo averts his eyes by closing his eyes again. “I’ve been tired lately, maybe that’s it.”

“Maybe,” he agrees without actually agreeing.

When Kyungsoo opens his eyes again, Minseok has a frown on his face. “I think I’m going to sleep more.”

He nods and stands, heading back toward the door. “Let me know if you need anything?” Kyungsoo nods. “Cool. I called Ryeowook, said you’d be out today and tomorrow.”

He forces his best smile. “Thanks, Minseok.” It drops off his face when the door closes. Kyungsoo curls up as small as he can and curses under his breath.

He lies in bed for a while, staring up at his ceiling, but he never does fall back asleep. Kyungsoo’s insides are eating away at him and he so desperately wants to go and apologize to Minseok but he’s trapped inside his own head, wondering _what if it’s not enough_? Eventually he drags himself out of bed anyway, his body protesting at the movements. He shouldn’t feel this tired and weak and it concerns him.

Hesitating, Kyungsoo keeps his hand on the doorknob to his room, fingers curled around it, waiting for the best time to open the door as he listens to Minseok’s movements on the other side. Finally, he takes a deep breath and turns it, pulling to door open and says, “Minseok--” just as on the other side, the door starts to open, with Minseok standing there and a bowl in his hand, mouth open to say, “Kyungsoo--”

Kyungsoo, slightly startled takes a step back. “Oh.” He looks at the bowl in Minseok’s hands. “Soup?”

“Yeah.”

Licking his lips he nods. “I can eat it out there? At the counter. It’d probably be easier.”

Minseok frowns a little at the suggestion. “Are you sure? You still look...”

Kyungsoo shrugs, “I can handle it.” He hopes.

They relocate back to the kitchen, Kyungsoo sitting on one side of the counter with his hair a mess and his bowl of soup, while Minseok stands on the other, face full of concern. He doesn’t eat much, just picks at it and stirs it as he gathers his words, preparing himself for the worst from Minseok.

“About the other day,” he finally breaks the silence with, gather his courage. “I’m sorry. I...don’t know what got into me, but I shouldn’t have snapped at you and I’m sorry.” He gets most of it out in a rush, nearly choking over his own words with his want to just swallow them back down.

Minseok is quiet for a while, and Kyungsoo can feel his eyes, boring holes into his head. “I forgive you,” he says. His voice is soft in the quiet of the room, low and careful. “I reacted badly.” Kyungsoo looks up at those words, expression open and worried. “I shouldn’t have said what I did about Junmyeon and you.”

“I don’t care about that,” Kyungsoo says. “It doesn’t matter.”

Minseok seems to consider this, but the pensive look never leaves his face. “Kyungsoo,” he says carefully. “When I went to the hospital after they called me, they asked if I knew if you were on any medications.”

“Oh?” He schools his face and watches Minseok’s every move. Kyungsoo forces himself not to swallow around the lump in his throat.

“I said no, naturally, and then they told me,” he give a wry smile at this, “that you had tryptophan in your system. Of all the things.” Minseok laughs at this, as if it’s no big deal. “And that got me and the doctors to wondering, why would you be on any medication?” He pauses and takes a deep breath. “No matter what I will always be your friend Kyungsoo, but I need you to be honest with me. Are you taking drugs?”

Kyungsoo nearly laughs in Minseok’s face. Him? On drugs. Nonsense. He keeps his expression neutral and calm, putting as much honesty as he can into it. “I swear to you, Minseok. I’m not on drugs.”

Minseok nods and puts his hands into his sweatpants pockets. He licks his lips as he looks down at his feet. “Why did I find this then?” When he pulls his hand out of his pocket he pulls a pill bottle with it and tosses it to Kyungsoo who catches it easily. “The damnedest thing. Tryptophan.”

For a moment, Kyungsoo is torn on how to feel. He wants to be angry at Minseok for going through his things, invading his privacy, but on the other he wants to be overly honest. He doesn’t know what to do. “There’s an explanation for that,” he settles on. “And you’re not going to believe me but there is one.”

“Is it Junmyeon?” Minseok asks. He moves to sit on the next to Kyungsoo on the other side of the counter, folding a leg under himself. “You can tell me if it is. I won’t judge you for it.”

Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh. Junmyeon? Getting him on drugs? It’s a hilarious thought. “I can assure you it’s not him.”

Minseok doesn’t look convinced. “If you’re covering for him--”

“Minseok!” Kyungsoo interrupts. “I’m not covering for him, or anyone. And I’m not on drugs.” He shakes the pill bottle, making it rattle annoyingly. “This? This is because my brain isn’t wired right, that’s all.” The skeptical look Minseok keeps on his speaks volumes, making Kyungsoo’s stomach lurch uncomfortably. “It’s more common than not,” Kyungsoo forces himself to say. He licks his lips and looks down at the bottle in his hands. “There’s always some flaw when you create kids in a test tube.”

Minseok lets out a deep breath. “Kyungsoo,” he says carefully. “You can’t just pin everything on Manticore. That’s not healthy. It’s okay if you have a problem.”

He suppresses the growl working up into his throat. “I’m not-- Look, it doesn’t matter.” He dismisses finally. “If you don’t believe me, fine.” He puts the bottle on the counter next to him and mumbles under his breath. “At the rate this is going I could be dead soon.”

Minseok doesn’t catch it, but gives Kyungsoo a sad look anyway. “You know I care, right?”

“Yeah,” he replies weakly. “I know.”

He waits until Minseok leaves for his own room and the rest of the apartment goes quiet before he slips into his room to change his clothes. He’s feeling relatively fine for now, so it’s as good a time as any to head over to Junmyeon’s.

Junmyeon looks alarmed to see Kyungsoo when he strolls into the apartment. Stopping whatever he’s doing and meeting Kyungsoo half way, rolling his chair quickly across the room. “Is everything okay? Should you be up and around?”

Kyungsoo scowls. “You’re not going to baby me as well, are you?” He questions. “Because I will leave, I don’t need a babysitter. I’m an adult.”

Raising his hands placatingly Junmyeon’s chair slide back a bit. “Never said you weren’t.”

“Good.” He nods and walks past Junmyeon and into the kitchen. “Honestly I feel fine, as good as new.” That’s mostly a lie. He’s tired beyond belief and his entire body aches like it never has before. Kyungsoo can feel Junmyeon’s gaze on the back of his head, but doesn’t turn around to meet it.

“What brings you by?” Junmyeon asks eventually, rolling his chair farther into the kitchen.

Kyungsoo shrugs. “I was feeling a bit suffocated so I decided to take a walk.” He searches Junmyeon refrigerator for something, what he isn’t very sure. He’s maybe hoping to find some answers that he knows aren’t there.

Sighing, Kyungsoo turns to face Junmyeon, letting the door fall closed behind him, trapping the cold air inside once more. “Minseok thinks I’m trippin’ on some drug or another.”

Junmyeon frowns at that and shifts in his chair. “Why?”

“I wonder,” he says with a bitter laugh. “Maybe because I was admitted to a hospital and they tested me for drugs and found tryptophan in my system.” Kyungsoo begins to pace around the kitchen, running a hand through his hair and mess it up even more. He should’ve showered before he left, he suddenly feels gross. His skin is sticky with sweat and his hair feels oily against his skin, sticking together in clumps and it makes him cringe. “Fuck,” he curses, letting everything just really sink in now. Kyungsoo looks at Junmyeon then, face undoubtedly filled with panic. “You should’ve seen the look on his face, Junmyeon. He looked so disappointed.”

Kyungsoo can tell that Junmyeon is trying hard to keep the look of pity off his face, that sad combination of concern, worry, and pity is the worst and Kyungsoo hates it more than Manticore itself and it’s the look that’s staring right back at him. He licks his lips and asks, “Did you tell him what it really was for?”

“Are you seriously asking me that?”

Junmyeon frowns. “Yes?”

Another bitter laugh. “Of course not, Junmyeon. I just let him fucking believe I was on drugs.” He shakes his head and goes back to pacing, trying to keep himself calm but failing miserably. “Yes I fucking told him.”

“Did you specify what it was for exactly?” Kyungsoo decides not to answer that, feeling the guilt well up inside him, telling him that he didn’t really try, not hard enough. There’s a pause before Junmyeon speaks next, his words slow and careful. “And I take it he didn’t believe you.”

Kyungsoo snorts. “No.” He turns to face Junmyeon, standing on the other side of the kitchen, the island filling the space between them. He shrugs helplessly, throwing his hands up in the air. “He said I can’t blame everything on Manticore.” He stands there and looks at Junmyeon, helpless. “ _It’s not healthy, Kyungsoo_ , he said. And anything about my life is?”

Unsurprisingly, Junmyeon says nothing.

He isn’t going to cry, he really isn’t. It’s stupid and pointless and Kyungsoo doesn’t cry. But he really fucking wants to. He wants to cry and scream and just do _something_. He doesn’t even know honestly. His head is a mess, he feels weak, and there’s a chill that goes down to his bones making him want to shiver.

“Minseok is my best friend,” Kyungsoo says softly. “I--For a long time I was scared. Scared to be around him, to trust him, to keep him close. _Just until we get to Seattle_ , I told myself. _I’ll drop him off somewhere and be on my way._ And then we got here and I just. I couldn’t leave him here on his own.” He sniffs, still fighting the urge to cry. “I couldn’t be on my own again, either.”

Kyungsoo falls quiet for a long minute, searching his thoughts and memories for what to say next, how to word it. “I was terrified of him finding out about me, about the fucked up truth. I was convinced that if he ever did, he’d freak out and bail.”

He doesn’t hear the sound of Junmyeon’s chair moving across the floor, doesn’t even register he’s moved until he hears the lock of the brakes and Junmyeon says, “But he didn’t.”

Looking down at Junmyeon sitting right in front of him Kyungsoo nods then licks his lips. “Is it bad of me to wish he had?”

“No,” Junmyeon says and adjusts his glasses. “But I think you need to ask yourself why it is you think that.”

Kyungsoo takes a few deep breaths, steadying himself. “I don’t know what to do, Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon takes his hand and laces their fingers together, squeezing Kyungsoo’s hand tightly. “There isn’t much you can do,” he says carefully. “Just take each day as it comes.”

He sniffs again. “I can’t lose my best friend.”

Junmyeon’s eyes flick back and forth, searching his face for something. “You won’t,” he says eventually. “You’ll think of something, you always do.” 

 

* 

 

The rest of the week passed uneventfully. If there was any Eyes Only related stuff that Junmyeon needed done, Kyungsoo did not know about it. Work was the same shit fest as always. Ryeowook being a snarky little prick as usual, Chanyeol being a complete idiot, even things with Minseok seemed fine.

Nothing was fine, but Kyungsoo could pretend. He was willing to act like everything was okay.

Friday after work, they all head over to Crash, just like always. Kyungsoo bought the first round of beers, nursing his glass as he watches the pool game unfold.

Kyungsoo doesn’t really want to be here, but he can’t help but enjoy how easy it is to let himself breathe and relax for the first time in what feels like ages, enjoying the solid line of Minseok standing next to him, leaning into his space as they watch Chanyeol take his shot, snickering to each other when he misses and pouts at the table.

“I don’t understand why you keep insisting on placing bets on these games when you always lose,” Kyungsoo says to him as he switches with Minseok, who hands his drink out to Kyungsoo to hold. “Minseok is a pro at this.”

Chanyeol grumbles under his breath and takes a large gulp of his beer. “How’d you get so good at this, anyway?” He calls loudly over the music playing throughout the entire place.

Minseok glances up from the shot he’s about to take and smirks at Chanyeol. “Lots of practice.” He gently taps the cue ball, making it knock into a striped ball and land in a pocket. Minseok straightens up and scans the table looking for his next shot.

“We hustled a lot of pool in our travels,” Kyungsoo admits. “It’s kinda hard getting from Hollywood to Seattle when you’re sixteen and homeless.”

Chanyeol watches with rapt attention as Minseok clears the table of the rest of the striped balls and aims for the 8. “It’s unnatural,” he says once it sinks in the center right pocket. Even as he says it though, he digs a fifty out of his pocket and slaps it into Minseok’s hand.

Minseok smirks and shoves it in his pocket. “Don’t hate, Chanyeol. I’m sure there are plenty of things you’re good at.” He takes his drink back from Kyungsoo and takes a sip. “Just don’t let Sulli ever see how bad you are, she might leave you for someone better.”

Rolling his eyes Chanyeol finishes off his drink and places his empty glass on their table. “Like who, you?”

He shrugs. “She’s not really my type, but sure.”

“Kyungsoo, why are you friends with this asshole?” Chanyeol asks.

The question startles Kyungsoo more than he thought it would, making him freeze up even as Minseok smacks and shoves Chanyeol for his smart mouth.

Why is Kyungsoo friends with Minseok? That’s a good question, one he’s never actually thought about. If truth be told, Kyungsoo can’t even remember how they went from just two kids sticking together to make it form one city to the next to being friends. It makes him think about all the years they’ve spent together, living out of each other’s pockets, scraping together what they could for the longest time to get enough for a meal to share.

He suddenly thinks back to the other day and the way Minseok had looked at him, like he didn’t even know who Kyungsoo was anymore. It makes his stomach churn with unease.

Minseok is the center of all of Kyungsoo’s fears. He’s scared of losing him more than the thought of HyunJong catching up to him and dragging him back.

“Hey,” Minseok says, nudging Kyungsoo with his shoulder. His hands are empty of his glass and the pool cue now, and Kyungsoo realizes he’s lost a few minutes in his own head. “You alright?”

Kyungsoo meets his gaze and smiles, hoping the warmth meets his eyes completely. “Yeah,” he says. “Just a little tired.” Which isn’t a lie. Kyungsoo’s been tired all week, taken to actually sleeping at nights instead of doing this and that. It’s been worrying him, but he’s been doing his best to ignore it. “Another game?”

Minseok watches him for a few seconds before shaking his head. “Nah, Chanyeol says he doesn’t want to be hustled out of any more money.”

He snorts. “It’s only a hustle if we act like we can’t play first. Does he know nothing about living on the streets?”

“Unlikely.” They watch as Chanyeol stands at the bar, ordering another pitcher of beer for them. “He was probably from a good family before The Pulse.”

Kyungsoo hums. “And you?” He’s never asked Minseok this before, in all the years they’ve been friends. He didn’t want to know the kind of place that Minseok came from, didn’t want to put them on separate playing fields more than they already were.

A crooked smirk forms on Minseok’s face. “That’s a first,” he replies before moving over to their table to sit down. “I was alright. I had a family, I had friends, I went to school. We weren’t rich, we were just average.”

Kyungsoo sits across from him, resting his chin in the palm of his hand. “And after?”

“Shit got difficult real fast.”

A silence falls between them, Minseok lost in his head and Kyungsoo watching. “Foster home for me,” he offers eventually with a shrug. “Things were shitty when I landed there, they just got worse after The Pulse hit, so I bailed.”

Minseok smiles a little at that. “Kyungsoo Do, always leaving without a trace when opportunity strikes.”

He knows it’s not meant to be malicious, but it stings a little. Licking his lips, Kyungsoo says, “I didn’t leave you, did I?”

Minseok considers this. “No, you didn’t.” He gives a small genuine smile.

“It would’ve been so easy too,” he says with a small laugh. “Especially when we first met, I could’ve left you at any number of places we stopped at. Just took off, gone in a different direction.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “Fuck if I know. And then it had just been so long by the time we got up here that I couldn’t see myself doing it.”

Minseok doesn’t say anything for a while, but when he does he leans in close to Kyungsoo, their foreheads almost touching. “Don’t be alarmed,” he says in a soft voice, “but I think this means you have a heart in that cold cyborg body of yours.”

He tries not to smile at this, he really does, but Kyungsoo can feel the corner of his mouth lift and he sees the expression mirrored on Minseok’s face. “I hate you,” he says in return.

Minseok makes a kissy face at him.

 

* 

 

Kyungsoo tries to ignore it, to pretend it’s not there, but soon it becomes difficult for him to say that nothing is wrong. Something is indeed wrong, very wrong. He’s not much of a worrier, but Kyungsoo has never been more concerned about his well being before now, not even when he lived on the streets.

While his seizures aren’t getting worse, they aren’t getting better either. He can feel tiny, low trembles coursing throughout his body for hours at a time and it’s starting to scare him. Luckily he hasn’t had any seizures in front of anyone since Junmyeon, but his pills aren’t helping like they’re supposed to. It gives Kyungsoo the scary thought of, _Maybe I’m dying_ , and he doesn’t know what to do with himself once it plants itself into his head.

He doesn’t want to die, not anymore.

Kyungsoo’s taken to spending a lot of time by himself, working through lunch and heading home instead of to crash after work. Sometimes he’ll visit Junmyeon, but he doesn’t really see the point these days. They don’t have any recon to do, and Kyungsoo doesn’t have the energy for much else. He can’t really stand that concerned look that Junmyeon gives him either, it breaks his heart a little.

Instead, he spends a lot of time thinking.

Eventually, his pills run out, and he doesn’t have the money to buy more.

The thing about The Pulse is that everyone suffers from it. Not just the homeless and not just the poor, though no one would ever be able to tell the rich are suffering , they have so much money. But Kyungsoo has seen it. He's seen big, thriving cities filled with nothing but once rich folk, shells of their former selves. It's a depression and in some cases everyone is just as fucked as the poor schmuck that lives out of his car.

His heart bleeds for society, it does, but most days he’s gotta worry about himself and how he’s gonna get by and not the next down on his luck person standing beside to him. Sometimes, he thinks things would be different, if he wasn’t the result of some government secret, that his life would be better, easier. But then he looks at people like Minseok, like Chanyeol, hell even Ryeowook, and he thinks maybe not. And sometimes, he thinks about Junmyeon, who went to Yale, has a nice big family with lots of money and businesses out the ass, who’s the black sheep of the family because he just wants to be a _’journalist’_ and make the world a better place, who is bound to a wheelchair for the rest of his life because everyone is so focused on just surviving they have to do whatever it takes to stay afloat, even cripple someone.

Kyungsoo doesn’t like being the bad guy who’s actually a good guy. He doesn’t like lying and stealing, beating people up because it’s the only way to get shit done, but he accepts that these are parts of his life he’ll never be able to change. Just like his seizures.

It takes a few days before it becomes nearly unbearable. His body shaking at the worst times, impossible to hide. Ryeowook actually looks concerned, but that could be more because he’s worried if Kyungsoo is contagious and not just wired wrong.

“I thought I told you people not to touch anything when you’re sick,” he gripes from behind his counter, keeping a safe distance from Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo lets out a deep sigh and rolls his eyes, faking like everything is okay. “You should know by now we don’t actually listen to you. Your voice is like white noise, filling up space.”

Ryeowook glares at him, looking up through his fringe. “One day your smart remarks are going to get your fired.”

Chanyeol stops by the counter, leaning his weight against it and knocking into Kyungsoo at the same time, never stead on his feet. “Kyungsoo would only be so lucky.” He snags a package and glances at the address. “If you do get out of this hell hole, be sure to remember the little people and tell us what it’s like on the outside world, will you?”

“I’ll try my best,” Kyungsoo agrees. “But don’t hold it against me if I don’t. It’s a big world out there.”

Ryeowook lets out a disgusted noise and shoos Chanyeol away. “What do you want?” He directs to Kyungsoo, eyeing him with disdain. “You look like something that died and came back to life.”

He fakes a smile, leaning more heavily against the counter. “I need the afternoon off.”

“For?”

With a groan Kyungsoo drops his head on the counter, contaminating it with his “germs”. “I have an appointment with my doctor,” he lies. “I haven’t been feeling so hot.”

Something bats him on the back of the head, hard, making Kyungsoo look up with a glare to see Ryeowook armed with a newspaper as if he’s some kind of unruly dog. That is not the DNA that mixed into his genetic code, thank you. “And you look even worse, though that isn’t any different from any other day.” He bats Kyungsoo a couple more times, finally getting him to move off the counter. “Get out of here, please,” he begs, taking a spray bottle and a rag out from under the counter to wipe it down. “And take your germs with you.”

Kyungsoo smiles. “Has anyone ever told you, you’re the best boss ever?”

Ryeowook gives him a skeptical look. “No.”

“Good, because you’re not, but this gives you a few points.” He heads out before anything else can be said, hearing Ryeowook call after him with, “That mouth of yours should be a work violation on it’s own!”

 

* 

 

The smell of the hospital is strong, almost bitter when Kyungsoo enters, the sliding doors blasting cold air into his face when they open. He can't help but shiver at the sensation on top of his bodies low trembles. No one pays him any mind as he slips inside and walks through the halls, but he keeps his head down anyway, trying his hardest to seem unsuspicious and unthreatening to keep attention off himself. Kyungsoo knows that coming here is a long shot, but the medicine woman that he usually goes to was out of Tryptophan. He’s not proud of what he did to get the information, and he really hopes that she’ll forgive him someday, but these trembles in his body are too much to handle. Kyungsoo has never really felt like he had control over his own life, but now it’s worse than ever.

He finds a medicine storage room easily, thanking the heavens as he carefully picks the lock with shaking hands and slips inside. The bottle he locates is large, to say the least, and nearly full. Kyungsoo wishes there was some place he could hide it on his person, but doesn’t dwell on it, popping one then and there to help calm his system him out. He also has the foresight to slip a handful into the pocket of his jeans, just in case if he has to lose the bottle at some point. It won’t last him long, but, Kyungsoo figures it could keep him going for a bit.

He waits until no shadows have passed by the door for a minute or so before slipping out into the corridor again, clutching the bottle tightly in his hand.

“You lost?” a deep voice asks from his left and Kyungsoo turns to see a large, burly man with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.

Kyungsoo smiles politely. “Nope, found what I was looking for,” he says and tries to slip by.

The man sneers at him once he takes in Kyungsoo’s appearance, ratty jeans, and some what shaggy hair. Kyungsoo’s aware that there is a fine sheen of sweat on his skin, making him look sick and tired. “Junky scum,” he utters as he glances down at the pill bottle in his hand.

“You know, I kinda resent that.” Kyungsoo doesn’t wait for a response as he takes off in the opposite direction, running for the nearest fire escape. The man lumbers after him, yelling and telling him to stop before he starts to yell into a hand radio and Kyungsoo becomes suddenly scared that he’s going to be caught.

He’s never been caught before. In any other instance, this would be almost thrilling.

At some point, Kyungsoo slips out of the fire escape and into a long empty corridor and immediately regrets it, but there’s no turning back, so Kyungsoo keeps running, pushing himself as his body slowly grows tired, not able to handle the physical exertion he’s putting on it at the moment. His heart is thumping in his chest, beating against his rib cage like it’s trying to jump right out of his body. He can’t really breathe, and Kyungsoo idly wonders if that’s because of the running or because his body is failing him, but he doesn’t have the time to try to figure out why when he’s being tackled to the ground suddenly. The new body comes out of nowhere, pinning him to the ground, hard.

Whatever air was left in his lungs is suddenly knocked out and he struggles on the floor to breathe and get free from the large weight on top of him. It proves to be futile though, as more security personnel from the hospital show up to contain him.

Kyungsoo can’t pull anything into his lungs, and his vision starts to fade around the edges. He has a fleeting moment to think that maybe he should’ve called Junmyeon before he tried to do this before everything goes black.

 

* 

 

When he wakes, Kyungsoo finds himself handcuffed to a hospital bed by both his wrist. He tugs on them a few times, jiggling them to see what kind of give they have, but he doesn’t have the energy to really break free like he’d normally be able too and it scares him so much more than he ever thought he’d be. He’s never been a situation like this before, with no hope in sight.

“Fuck,” he says loudly, voice rough as he tugs and tugs on the handcuffs, pulling at them hard enough for them to dig into his skin and bruise. It feels like it’s cutting through his wrist it hurts so much, but he doesn't stop until the door to the room he’s in opens, to reveal the same burly man he first ran into in the hall outside of the storage room.

Kyungsoo glares up at him and lets his hands fall limply at his sides. “Are you the one that tackled me?” He asks, suddenly curious.

The man laughs, it’s deep and tinged with a bit of dark pleasure at Kyungsoo situation. “I wish I had been. I would’ve loved to have felt you under me.” He takes a few steps closer to Kyungsoo’s bed, standing at the foot of it. “Felt the way you squirmed as you tried to get away. I’m sure a tiny thing like you is nice and soft.”

He doesn’t bother to hide his gag, pretending to retch over the side rail of the bed. “What is it with people in positions of some power, no matter how small it is, that like to sexualize everything?”

“Oh, baby,” the man says and reaches out a hand to caress Kyungsoo’s ankle under the blanket of his bed gently. “You don’t know sexual yet, but I can show you.”

Kyungsoo jerks his leg away, pulling them both up close to his body with a glare. “You do know that I’m a man, don’t you?”

The smile on the man’s face is positively vile and Kyungsoo has to repress the shiver that runs through him. “I’m willing to take one for the team. Man or not, you’re still pretty, sweetheart.”

“Is there anyway I can get a guard that isn’t ruled by his dick to talk to, or is that a requirement these days?”

Before the guard can answer again there’s a fuzzy sound from a hand radio coming from the man’s pocket. He pulls it out and up to his mouth without taking his eyes off Kyungsoo. “Repeat that,” he requests.

The disembodied voice speaks again, saying something about police being contacted and on their way now. The man actually looks disappointed at that, assuring Kyungsoo what he already knew. Junmyeon is really going to have his ass later about this, especially if he’s going to have to break Kyungsoo out of jail now.

“It’s a shame,” Biggie D, as Kyungsoo had decided to call him in his head, says as he slips the radio back into his pocket. “I would’ve liked to have a little more time getting to know you.” He walks around Kyungsoo beg and close to where he’s managed to squish himself together as small as possible at the top, propped against the pillows. He reaches a hand out, trailing his fingers along Kyungsoo’s cheek softly. “I bet you’re beautiful when you moan,” he mumbles, fingers stopping just by Kyungsoo’s mouth.

Kyungsoo glances up at Biggie’s face, and he looks as if he’s in a trance. Slowly, Kyungsoo opens his mouth, eyes never leaving his face. Letting out a shudder of a breath Kyungsoo prepares himself for the worst.

Taking in a breath, Kyungsoo turns his face to the left just a bit and bites down as hard as he can on the finger that has just slipped inside his mouth.

Biggie lets out the loudest yell Kyungsoo has possibly ever heard outside of Manticore and his heart swells with pride as Biggie tries to rip his finger out of Kyungsoo’s mouth, but he doesn’t let go for as long as he can, grinding his teeth together to make it hurt even more, causing the screams to ratchet up just a bit.

Eventually he breaks the skin, filling his mouth with blood, and as disgusting as Kyungsoo finds it he doesn’t let go until there’s a hard slap to his face.

Biggie screams his lungs out, cradling the bleeding finger to his chest as others rush into the room. Kyungsoo sits stock still, trying not to let the shock of the slap show on his face, in his demeanor. He manages to stay that way until HyunJong Kim steps into the room, face as hard and unreadable as Kyungsoo remembers it. He doesn’t look a day over thirty, but Kyungsoo isn’t fooled.

“Get him out of here, would you?” HyunJong says to no one in particular, but his voice is commanding, making people act fast and soon the room is empty of just the two of them. HyunJong doesn’t say anything for at first, just staring at Kyungsoo, taking him in. “I’ve been looking for you for a long time,” he says once he finally decides to speak. “It’s not easy to find you and the others.”

Kyungsoo tries to lunge at him, momentarily forgetting about the handcuffs trapping him. “You son of a bitch, I know there aren’t any others!”

“Who told you that?”

He scoffs. “It’s not like you don’t know, but your lap dog Donghae told me.”

A look passes over HyunJong’s face and he looks almost sorry for a moment. “What happened in regards to X5-734 is very unfortunate,” he states clinically. “That mission was not supposed to turn out how it has.”

“Yeah, I know.” He tugs once more at the handcuffs, wanting to get free now more than ever. “I was last on the list, and yet here I am, and Donghae’s dead.”

HyunJong has a rueful smile on his face as he looks down at the scuffed hospital floor. “When we sent X5-734 out on the mission, he wasn’t supposed to kill any of you.”

“How many lies are you going to feed me, HyunJong? If you can’t have us back at Manticore, then there’s no point in us living, right? We’re just soldiers after all, meant to do your bidding and listen to your every command.”

There’s a glare focused on Kyungsoo then as HyunJong marches up to the foot of his bed, grabbing onto the metal rail at the end. “Never!” He shouts. “I put years of my life into you kids, into your creation, into your training. All of you are like my own children, and the deaths of the others--”

“Oh can it, _Dad_ ,” he spits out, glaring just as intensely back. “You never cared about us, we were just pawns to you. We aren’t even human! And you treated us just like that.”

HyunJong laughs, but the sound is empty and sad, as if he’s disappointed in Kyungsoo right now. “You were just a child back then, you’re thinking of it from that perspective.”

“Because we were children!”

“No,” HyunJong yells quickly. “You were soldiers in training.”

Kyungsoo grits his teeth together and leans as far as he can forward towards HyunJong. “And soldiers have feelings too. They have flesh and bone and bleed just like everyone else, HyunJong. But to you, we weren’t even soldiers. We were slaves.”

“You know that’s not true--”

“Save it,” Kyungsoo bites back. “I don’t care what excuses you have for you and your _colleagues_.” He leans back against his pillows. “You are not my family, none of those people, those _things_ back in that hell are my family.” Kyungsoo closes his eyes and tips his head all the way back. “My family is dead, and it’s all thanks to you.”

HyunJong doesn’t say anything for a long moment before he lets out a sigh and takes a few steps back from Kyungsoo’s bed. “I’m sorry that you think that.” Kyungsoo scoffs. He walks over to the door and rests his hand on the knob but doesn’t open it. “There will be a vehicle here tomorrow to transport you back to Manticore.”

“What,” Kyungsoo says dully. “I don’t even get a phone call home?”

“I’m taking you home, X5-452.”

Kyungsoo lets out a breath. “That’s not my name.”

HyunJong seems to consider this. “And what is your name then?”

He wants to laugh at the irony of it all. Of fucking Kim HyunJong asking what his fucking name is, as if he doesn’t already have it on file or something, as if after today it’ll even matter. He wants to laugh because his name is the only thing Manticore hasn’t tainted yet, hasn’t ruined for him. It’s who he is, his identity, and soon it will be stripped away from him like it doesn’t even matter and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Kyungsoo,” he says finally, voice soft and not louder than a whisper.

“Well, Kyungsoo,” he says, “it’s nice to have you back.”

“Bite me,” he replies. HyunJong just sighs and opens the door. When it closes behind him, and Kyungsoo is once again alone all the fight seems to just drain out of his body, leaving him weak and tired, so tired. He never thought that any of this would happen, and there is so much he regrets right now. Mostly, he’s just sad though, because he’ll never see any of his friends again, probably will never remember them if what he knows about Manticore is correct.

_Reprogramming._

Not only will Kyungsoo forget his own name, but he’ll forget everything about himself, his life.

Minseok.

Junmyeon.

Everyone that ever mattered in some way.

He’s felt so hopeless and upset these past few weeks that Kyungsoo no longer can bother to pretend nothing is bothering him and he lets go into the urge to just cry. Once it starts it doesn’t stop, big tears rolling down his face and onto the fucking hospital gown he’s been put it. A hospital gown! It just gets better and better.

Some dark part of him hopes with all his might that he’ll have another seizure between now and tomorrow morning, a violent one that will possibly kill him. He know it's unlikely, he could only be so lucky, but the thought is nice. It’s nicer than everything else going on through his head.

Kyungsoo falls asleep like that, handcuffed to the bed, sobbing like it’s nobody’s business and completely uncomfortable, praying from any chance there is to get out of this.


	2. Intermission

Junmyeon sits at his desk, staring at the monitor of his computer, the harsh light from the screen casting shadows in the room. It's been three days since he's last heard from Kyungsoo. Junmyeon has lost count of how many times he's paged him in that time, leaving message after message, getting hopeful each time the phone rings that it's Kyungsoo "just hitting you back". If he's being honest with himself, Junmyeon is getting seriously worried.

That isn't to say he never worries about Kyungsoo, because he always does, but this is a different kind of worry. This worry sits heavily in the pit of his stomach, churning angrily the longer it sits there. He can't help but think of how awful Kyungsoo had looked last they saw each other. His skin was pale and he looked so _tiny_ , like even his own body was too big for him. No matter how many times Kyungsoo said he was fine, that he was dealing with the seizures, Junmyeon knew the truth and as time moved on, it was glaringly obvious he wasn't dealing as well as he told everyone he was. At the time, Junmyeon just didn't know how to do anything about it.

What could he have done, really? Kyungsoo was not like other boys. He was not _normal_ no matter how much he wanted to be, or how much he tried to be. Kyungsoo was the result of a genetic experiment and probably the most amazing thing, most amazing person, Junmyeon had ever known, but he was far from normal. Kyungsoo could walk, talk, act and breathe like every other human being on the planet, but that didn't make him one. It pains Junmyeon to think this, to think that he somehow failed Kyungsoo because he couldn't help, couldn't do anything for him when Kyungsoo needed him most.

The little voice in his head that sounds painfully like Kyungsoo when he's angry or irritated says, "it isn't your job to take care of me," and Junmyeon knows that, but he's developed a complex in the last few years. He'd never admit it to anyone out loud, but he feels like it's his responsibility to take care of everyone.

Knowing it's quite pointless, Junmyeon picks up the phone again and stares at the buttons. With a sigh he puts it back down on his desk and tires to come up with another solution. He could visit Kyungsoo's job, swing by JamPony and check it out, ask around. If anyone would know where Kyungsoo is, it would be Minseok.

 

JamPony never changes, it's always a hustle and bustle of people going in and out, bitching about the job, about Ryeowook. It's lively, and while Junmyeon knows it's a shitty job, the friendships these people form and how they care about each other is something you don't see very often anymore. It makes Junmyeon ache for something like that, tangible friendships he can count on that aren't based off of money or status. Not that he has much of either with the life he's chosen for himself.

He rolls his chair down the small slope and up to the counter where Ryeowook stands behind it, frazzled as always trying to get packages out and delivered. He doesn't spare Junmyeon a glance as he hands out packages and yells out orders. Junmyeon tries to wait until there's a lull, but there never will be. "Hey," he says, gaining Ryeowook's attention. "Have you seen Kyungsoo?"

Ryeowook laughs at that, loud and sarcastic, gathering looks from people passing. "Have I seen Kyungsoo," he repeats. "It's funny you should ask that because, you know, I've been wondering where he is myself." He looks away from Junmyeon and to the collection of people in JamPony. "Have any of you lowlifes seen Kyungsoo?" He calls out.

There's a few mummers but no one right out answers; no one knows where Kyungsoo is.

There's a sigh from Ryeowook and he tells them all to get back to work. "None of them even care about their jobs, ungrateful shits," he grumbles under his breath. "You," he says to Chanyeol, a friend of Kyungsoo's that Junmyeon has only met in person a handful of times, but never actually talked to. "Moron of the year, where the hell is Kyungsoo?"

Chanyeol pales at the question and shoves a package into his bag without making eye contact with Ryeowook. "Kyungsoo has been selected out of 100 contestants to--"

"Forget I asked," Ryeowook waves him off and points to Minseok, who eyes Junmyeon cautiously. "You live with him, where's Kyungsoo? And don't feed me some bullshit answer or I'll fire you too."

Minseok seems to be cool under the pressure and just rolls his eyes. "If you hadn't noticed, it's November in Seattle, It's kinda wet out there, perfect factors to bring about the flu."

Ryeowook narrows his eyes. "You better not be lying to me. I want him here bright and early the day he's recovered with a note from his doctor, got it?"

Minseok nods and mock salutes Ryeowook before sliding away from the counter, shooting a look at Junmyeon. Not entirely sure what the look means, he follows Minseok, curious and knowing that Kyungsoo is not in bed with the flu.

They relocate outside and Junmyeon is thankful that it isn't raining on top of it being cold. Minseok stands there for a moment, arms crossed over his chest as he looks around at the people passing. He doesn't say anything and Junmyeon begins to wonder what this is about. He wants to get angry even though he knows it will solve nothing and that Minseok is his only resource for information on Kyungsoo's habits.

"A few days ago Kyungsoo left work early," he finally says, voice soft. "Told Ryeowook he had a doctor's appointment."

Junmyeon considers this, looks down at his hands in his lap. "How did he look?"

"Sick." Minseok lets out a deep sigh. "Tired. He's been distant lately, very quiet."

He hums. "Yeah."

That seems to invoke rage in Minseok for he turns to Junmyeon, glaring darkly. "I've never questioned Kyungsoo's choices, I've never judged him for what he does and who he is, or how he treats people but ever since you showed up it's been... a mess. He's not the same."

He blinks, taken aback at Minseok's outburst. "What are you saying?"

"I thought you were good for him, I thought you cared about him. Kyungsoo seemed so," he trails off and shrugs. "Lately I wonder, though. The whole drug thing has got me really skeptical about your motives." Minseok laughs. "Guys like you are all the same, you know? They're attractive and charming and rich, and they take a good person, get them hooked on something and everything just blows up."

"Drugs?" Junmyeon asks. "I didn't-- What drugs?"

With a scoff Minseok rolls his eyes and starts to walk away. "Don't even play dumb, it's not going to work."

He scrambles to catch up with Minseok, unlocking his chair and struggling to move the wheels, the metal cold against his hands. "It's kind of hard to play dumb when I really have no idea what you're talking about."

Minseok turns on him. "When Kyungsoo was taken into the hospital, they found drugs in his system."

It’s been a few days, and in that time Junmyeon has done nothing but worry about Kyungsoo, nearly pushing everything out of his head that wasn’t important. Junmyeon wracks his brain trying to think back to that time. He scowls. "What was it?"

A dark look flashes over Minseok's face. "You're kidding, right?"

"Humor me."

With a huff Minseok relents. "Tryptophan."

Junmyeon's eyes go wide. "Minseok, what did Kyungsoo tell you about them?"

He grimaces. "Some story about Manticore. I didn't believe him. He can't put everything on Manticore!"

"Okay, calm down." He holds up a placating hand. "What was the story?"

"Something about his brain not being wired right."

Junmyeon takes a deep breath and sighs. "He gets these seizures. The Tryptophan was to help balance the chemicals in his brain to prevent them or take off the edge."

Minseok looks startled and his voice is weak when he asks, "what?"

"They were keeping him alive, essentially." He rubs a hand over his face, suddenly feeling very tired. "Do you have any idea where he usually gets them from?"

"Uh, no. I could take a guess." Minseok shrugs and unchains his bike. "There's this, I guess, medicine woman? She runs a little stand not too far from our apartment. Well, I think it's closer to here than to the apartment but-"

Junmyeon nods. "It's not much, but it's a start." He looks up at Minseok, hands gripping the wheels of his chair tightly. "I know you're worried about him, and so am I and I would never do anything to hurt him, you have to know this Minseok."

Minseok looks away, possibly feeling guilty for suspecting Junmyeon was at fault. Or maybe, he just doesn’t believe Junmyeon, it’s hard to say really. "I'll let you know what I find out, okay?"

He nods before hopping on the bike and taking off without another look to Junmyeon.

Junmyeon watches after him for a moment before turning his chair around and heading back to his car. He sits inside it for a long time, thinking about the worst he tries not to but it's hard with how Kyungsoo's been lately. Anything is possible, and that's what bothers Junmyeon the most.

 

* * *

  
  
Saturday nights spent in his apartment aren't anything unusual to Junmyeon. Even before he ended up in the chair, he spent a lot of time at home. He supposes that's what happens when all your friends are either rebels or so high class that you can't stand to be in a room with them for more than ten minutes. It never really bothered him, it still doesn't, not exactly. What bothers him is that he expects Kyungsoo to show up, to invite him out to Crash with him and Minseok or whoever else. Junmyeon doesn't accept the offer usually, preferring to stay inside and do some work. Sometimes Kyungsoo will stay with him, distract him instead and they'll have dinner and Kyungsoo will kick his ass in chess.

It was fun; he enjoyed it.

Now Junmyeon just feels lonely.

He kept his promise to Minseok and contacted him not too long ago about his leads. It feel weird to be thinking of Minseok as someone to talk to, to consult about something going on. They're not friends, and Minseok isn't like Kyungsoo, or anyone else Junmyeon talks to really. He's not a high class snob or a resistance movement supporter. He's just some guy trying to get by.

The ring of the doorbell startles Junmyeon out of his thoughts. "It's open," he calls out, loud enough for Minseok to hear, and moves to his desk, shaking off the morose feelings running through him.

Minseok finds him in his office and looks around curiously, but keeps his hands firmly tucked into his pockets. He doesn't say anything, just stands in the doorway until Junmyeon waves him closer. "I didn't get far," he says dejectedly. "The medicine woman you spoke of told me what she said to Kyungsoo. There's an orderly at the hospital she gets her supplies from. That's most likely where Kyungsoo went so I decided to look into it."

Minseok eyes him. "Look into it?"

Junmyeon licks his lips and turns to his computer and begins to type. "I hacked into the security system, got a hold of the surveillance footage." There's a gentle hum. "I haven't watched it yet," he admits. "I guess I was afraid of what might come up."

There's a lull before Minseok asks. "How much footage?"

He shrugs. "I only copied the day you last saw Kyungsoo, everything from noon onward."

Minseok takes a deep breath before snagging the desk chair and rolling it close to Junmyeon's desk to sit. "Okay, fire it up."

He types and clicks at a few things, then pulls up the footage. It's a few hours of nothing, even with Junmyeon speeding the video up. He took everything from every camera in the building, not sure where Kyungsoo would turn up at, and some of it is hard to focus on. It's all boring and repetitive and he can see the lack of anything turning up is wearing on Minseok.

After the current video, Junmyeon doesn't load up another but sighs when he sees what time it is and rubs his eyes. "I'm sorry," he says. "I know it's taxing. I should've started before I called you."

Minseok shrugs and stands to stretch out his legs. "I need some coffee, that's all."

"There's some in the kitchen," he offers. "I don't think the pot is set up though."

Raising an eyebrow at him, Minseok shakes his head. "I'm not touching your fancy coffee maker, I'll probably break it."

Junmyeon can't help but laugh. "That's what Kyungsoo said the first time he was here for a few hours doing recon as well." He unlocks his chair and rolls it out of the room, hearing Minseok follow behind him. "He was terrified to touch just about anything in the kitchen."

A silence falls over the kitchen then. Junmyeon settles back in his chair, letting his back relax after sitting stiffly for so many hours. In the corner of his eye, Minseok leans propped up against the long island table in the kitchen, eyes trained on the coffee maker. There isn’t a sound to be heard aside from the low rumble of the coffee maker as it does its job.

Junmyeon gets lost in his head for a while, thinking about this and that, worrying about Kyungsoo. He startles a little when Minseok speaks again, with a low, “I’m sorry.” He pauses before continuing on. “I shouldn’t have said the things I said to you.”

He glances at Minseok out of the corner of his eye, looking over his lean frame. Junmyeon can’t help but be impressed by the two of them, how self sufficient they are at their age. When he was nineteen, Junmyeon was spoiled, handed everything that he could ever want. He tried to change that while he was in college, make his own way but in the end he was just a trust fund kid. The Pulse changed the way he viewed things, and while Junmyeon still lived off of his parent’s name and the family money in a way, he doesn’t treat it the same way he once did.

His nose is filled with the scent of coffee when he takes a deep breath and places his hands on the wheels of his chair once more. “I don’t blame you, Minseok.” He flips the lock and rolls back, away from the counter a bit. “Kyungsoo is important to you, and while he and I have gotten close that doesn’t change the fact that you are the most important person in his life.” Junmyeon looks at Minseok then and keeps his face neutral. “It’s your job to make sure rich, handsome men aren’t corrupting him with drugs.”

The corner of Minseok’s mouth quirks up a bit at that with the hint of a smile that Junmyeon returns in full.

“Now, can you reach up into the cabinet and get us a couple of mugs? I’d do it myself, but,” he trails off and motions at his chair and legs with a shrug, the rest going unsaid.

 

* * *

  
  
Sometimes Junmyeon sits in the dark of his apartment and wonders about how his life ended up to be what it is. He feels like he's lived so many life times by now that if he lets himself dwell on it, he's afraid he'll never come out of his own head again. It's terrifying to be honest. Lately it's becoming more difficult to not think about the different chapters of his life.

If his life was a book series, it'd look something like this:

**Pre Pulse**

_Tales Of A Spoiled, Privileged Rich Kid_

_How To Make Your Own Way Through College and Fail_

**Post Pulse**

_Failures of Marriage_

_Ways To Make The World A Better Place_

_How Not to Fall In Love With A Genetically Enhanced Human and Fail_

Junmyeon is aware that sounds a little dramatic, but he's allowed to be dramatic in his own head.

When the lights to his apartment flick on, Junmyeon doesn't flinch, but he does close his eyes and take a deep breath to keep his disappointment at bay. He's not sure why he expects Kyungsoo to show up anymore, he knows it's not going to happen. That, and the fact that Baekhyun makes a considerable amount of noise all the time, even when he's trying to be quiet.

"It's depressing to see you sitting in the dark like this," Baekhyun says as he steps into the living room and drops his messenger bag on the floor next to Junmyeon's stylish couch.

After a few calming breaths, Junmyeon opens his eyes again and looks at Baekhyun, keeping his face perfectly neutral. "I'm sorry my personal habits depress you."

Baekhyun looks at him for a second, eyes calculating before he breaks out into a grin. "We just need to get you out more, liven you up a bit." He doesn't make a move to get up though, perfectly aware that Junmyeon will turn down any suggestions to go out and "live a little".

He clears his throat and looks away from Baekhyun, unlocking his chair instead and rolling into his office. "Is there something you needed?"

Baekhyun clomps after him in his too large boots, the sound both soothing and grating. A lot of things with Baekhyun are contradictory and if Junmyeon wanted to expend the effort, he'd try to figure out why.

"Just checking in," he says. Junmyeon can see him shrug in the reflection of his monitor. "Wondering how you were doing."

He boots up his computer but doesn't turn back around. "As you can see, I'm still alive and well." He searches through some print outs on his desk to look busy.

There's silence from Baekhyun for a while before Junmyeon can't take it anymore and turns to face him. "Was there anything else?"

Baekhyun bites his lips before asking, "Are you still looking into that Manticore nonsense?"

He closes his eyes once more and takes a sharp breath. "No, we are not talking about this."

It seems Baekhyun has other ideas though. "It's been two months, Junmyeon. You can't do this forever."

There are times that Junmyeon painfully misses the ability to use his legs, now being one such time. "No, Baekhyun, it's _only_ been two months. And this is not something that'll just go away. You want to help those in need, make the world a better place? Then you have to get every corruption in the system." He glares fiercely at Baekhyun, leaning forward in his chair just a bit, even though it doesn't make him any more intimidating. "And in case you haven't been paying attention, I'll tell you again. Manticore isn't just some small thing; millions of dollars that our country doesn't have goes into funding it. But what do you care Baekhyun, it doesn't directly affect you, does it?"

"That's not what I meant Junmyeon, and you know it."

Junmyeon scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Sure."

He crouches down in front of Junmyeon and looks up at him. "I'm just worried about you. You spend all your time on this and nothing else."

"That's a lie," he says. "Just the other day I helped you and the S1W get things sorted out with the VA cards."

"Please, Junmyeon," he huffs. "That was nothing to you. You could've done that in your sleep."

Junmyeon ignores the obvious flattery and looks away from Baekhyun.

"Why is this so important to you?" He asks, inching closer to Junmyeon and placing his hands on his knees. They feel warm through the fabric of Junmyeon's pants, but the barely there weight of them against his useless legs is suffocating. "I've never seen you devote so much of yourself to something."

 _You wouldn't understand,_ he wants to say, but Junmyeon doesn't fully understand himself. "It's personal," Junmyeon says finally.

Baekhyun licks his lips, staring at him for a few seconds that seem to drag on for hours until he nods and stands up. "I know there's no chance of agreeing, but do you want to get dinner with me?"

A ghost of a smile crosses Junmyeon's face. "No, thanks," he says.

With a shrug, Baekhyun grabs his bag from the living room. "No harm in asking. I'll see you later?"

Junmyeon nods, but doesn't see Baekhyun out. He sits in his chair for a long time, staring into space before he turns back to his desk to gather his notes, diving back into research.

That night when he does his cable hack he talks about Manticore. He tells the people how long money has been taken from them in the name of taxes to fund secret experiments. "This operation is known as Project Manticore and its goal is to create perfect soldiers. Children that are genetically enhanced to have superior strength and reflexes. They're subjected to relentless training and propaganda." He stops to take a breath, licking his dry lips the continues on. "Winter of 2009, twelve of these children escaped a Manticore facility in Wyoming. Some of them were captured, and some gave their lives to stay free. Since these cable hacks began, Manticore has consolidated its operation to a secret location. Eyes Only will find it and the people responsible for these crimes will be brought to justice."

Junmyeon waits a few seconds before turning the camera off and disabling the hack. He's been waiting for weeks to make that broadcast, hoping that it would fill some of that hollow space inside of his chest, give him some type of closure that Kyungsoo is gone, and quite possibly dead, but all he feels is the endless emptiness still there, swallowing him whole.

He shuts down his computer and rolls his chair out of his office, berating himself for his wishful thinking.

 

* * *

  
  
It figures that the one time in months that Junmyeon goes out, he sees someone who knows him, wants to talk to him, when all Junmyeon wants to do is be in a public place to have a change of scenery.

“I saw your cable hack the other day,” Minseok says as he casually sits himself across from Junmyeon at a table in Crash. In the last couple of months, Minseok has come to learn more and more about what Junmyeon does, who he really is. It wasn’t on purpose really, but with Junmyeon looking into Manticore and trying to find Kyungsoo, it sort of just happened. The company has been nice at times, even if Minseok doesn’t understand it all, and it’s better than Baekhyun’s blatant dislike for Junmyeon’s choices lately.

Junmyeon looks up from where he’s writing in his notebook quickly. “Hello Minseok, wonderful to see you.”

Minseok rolls his eyes but greets him anyway. “Hi, Junmyeon.”

He smiles slightly at that then looks back down at his notes. “You’ll have to be more specific than that. And more discreet while you’re at it. Eyes Only can only stay afloat the less people know about it.”

Minseok looks sheepish but nods. “The one about Manticore.”

Junmyeon’s face falls at that and he closes his notebook, pushing it aside on the table. “Oh.”

“Do you think it’ll help?”

He considers this for a moment before sighing. “I don’t know. It’s hard getting intel on such a large government secret. My contacts can only do so much.” He takes a sip of his beer and looks off at the people around them. “Things were considerably easier when Kyungsoo was around.”

A somber mood falls over them and Minseok seems to shrink in on himself at the mention of his best friend. “What do you think they’re doing to him?”

Junmyeon glances at Minseok before tearing his gaze away, forcing himself not to think about the most obvious answer. “It’s hard to say,” he hazards. “I don’t know enough about them to be able to say for sure.” But he does know what happened to the rest the escaped, remembering Donghae’s lifeless body after he tried to kill Kyungsoo. “Anything is possible.”

“You don’t think he’s de--”

Just then Baekhyun comes over, surprised look on his face. “Well I never thought I’d expect to see Junmyeon Kim out and about anytime soon, but here he is!” He smiles brightly before noticing that Junmyeon isn’t alone. “Who’s this?”

He glances to Minseok then back to Baekhyun. “A friend of mine.”

Baekhyun raises a perfectly shaped eyebrow. “You have friends?”

“Will wonders never cease?” Junmyeon replies. He takes his notebook and places it in his lap before finishing off his beer and unlocking his chair. “I have a prior engagement I need to attend to,” he looks meaningfully at Minseok, trying to get his attention, but his eyes are train on Baekhyun, narrowed suspiciously.

Baekhyun seems to be oblivious, system already full of alcohol, for he huffs and rolls his eyes. “All work and no play Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon hums, bemused. “Perhaps. Walk with me to my car, Minseok?” He doesn’t wait for an answer as he rolls towards the exit with a ramp, hoping that Minseok will follow.

Outside Junmyeon opens the passenger side door, watching the exit for Minseok, who is only a few seconds behind him. He looks cautious as he steps close to the car. “What?”

“Get in,” he jerks his head to the side.

Eyebrows raise high on Minseok’s forehead. “Why?”

“I really do have some place I need to be. I’m meeting someone who might know about our problem.”

“Okay, but why--”

Junmyeon sighs. “Just get in the car.”

Minseok huffs but climbs in, slamming the door behind him.

After Junmyeon gets himself in the car and situated, he gets them on the road before he speaks again. “I have a contact that does research on the concept of genetic alterations and gene splicing. She might know a thing or two about Manticore.”

Minseok stares at the side of Junmyeon’s head then says, “There’s an additional reason as to why you’re going to see her, isn’t there?”

Junmyeon grips the steering wheel tighter, making his knuckles turn white. “I’m a bit curious about her theories on paralyzation.” He waits in anticipation for that to sink in with Minseok, preparing for the worst.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No.”

He laughs at Junmyeon then, or maybe at the situation, Junmyeon isn’t sure, but it’s dark and humorless either way. “What told you that would be a good idea?”

Junmyeon risks a quick glance at Minseok from the corner of his eye and glares at the road ahead of him. Sometimes he hates Seattle and its constant state of _wet_. “The fact that I’m bound to a chair, for one.”

“Never seemed to bother you before.” Minseok waves the reason off. “There’s gotta be something else.”

He resists the urge to growl at Minseok; he is not an animal. He’s a mature adult, but he does grit the words out from between his teeth. “How about, because I can’t do anything for myself like this.”

There’s a dark smile on Minseok’s face then, and he laughs once more. “Like it’s any different from the rest of your life,” he mutters under his breath, turning to face out the passenger window. Junmyeon pretends not to hear him. “Yes, it’s a wonderful idea to possibly risk further damage to your body to walk again, Junmyeon. How will we be able to get Kyungsoo back then?”

“For all we know, Kyungsoo is dead.”

Junmyeon stops breathing the moment the words leave his mouth.

“Stop the car,” Minseok says.

“I didn’t—”

“Either you stop this car or I will jump out of it, Junmyeon. You decide which it’s going to be.”

Junmyeon pulls over.

He takes a few deep breaths before turning on Junmyeon with a dark glare. “What the hell is wrong with you? Every time I start to think you’re an okay guy you pull some shit out of nowhere that makes me despise you.” Minseok yanks off his seatbelt and it slaps back up into the holder. “Kyungsoo cares so much about you and that’s all you can say? That’s how you feel about his ability to survive?”

Junmyeon grips the wheel tighter. “There are things you don’t know,” he says slowly. “If you just—”

“It doesn’t matter.” Minseok opens his door and gets out of the car. “If you’re going to do nothing and risk what you have left on some pipe dream to be able to walk again, I’ll find Kyungsoo myself. Without your help.” He slams the door shut and stalks off.

The silence in the car seems to echo around Junmyeon.

He looks down at his lap, his useless legs and how they just sit there. He hates himself in this very moment for how much he lets it effect his thoughts and feelings, blinding him to what really matters. It’s not new, not really. Junmyeon has been struggling with this for a while, but in light of recent events it’s harder for him to ignore. He aches with the need to feel more useful, to be able to do more than merely hack into a system and sell some expensive peice of art that his family bought him to pay someone for information.

 

* * *

  
  
For days, Junmyeon sits and thinks about what Minseok said. He hates to admit it, but after thinking carefully about the situation, Minseok is right. Seeing if there’s a way he could walk again is a stupid risk, especially now when there’s so much more to worry about. So much more at stake. It angers him greatly, to be stuck in this chair all the time, but he knows that there’s no helping it.

Baekhyun is chatting his ear off one afternoon when Minseok finally shows up again. It’s been three weeks since that argument in the car, and as shameful as it is to admit, he was ready to give up on Minseok ever talking to him again.

The slam of his apartment door is enough to make Baekhyun trail off in whatever he was saying. Junmyeon tuned out a while ago when it became obvious it wasn’t Eyes Only related, any type of mission related, or S1W related. Don’t get him wrong, he’s been friends with Baekhyun for years, but right now he can’t spare a thought to whatever he’s going on about.

“You’ve got some nerve,” Minseok nearly yells when he makes his way into Junmyeon’s office, glancing at Baekhyun once. His face is hard, eyes cold and steely. Junmyeon can’t begin to measure the level of his anger, but he supposes he deserves it. “Normally when a person doesn’t pick up a phone it means they don’t want to talk to you. Or did you not learn that growing up with the silver spoon in your mouth?”

Baekhyun whistles, glancing between them. “Trouble in paradise?”

Minseok’s glare turn on him full force. “Does this concern you?”

“Probably not.” He shrugs and crosses his legs, leaning back in his chair with carefree nonchalance Junmyeon is used to from him. “But you know, free entertainment and all that.”

“Junmyeon, I suggest you escort your _guest_ out.” The way Minseok says ‘guest’ leaves Junmyeon to believe he had another choice word in mind.

Baekhyun scoffs, unconcerned about the seriousness of the situation. “Pretty sure you’re the one that barged in here, not me.” He glares back at Minseok all the same, looking ready to play street fighter in the middle of his apartment if it comes to it which, while not ideal, wouldn’t be the first time.

Junmyeon clears his throat. “Baekhyun, I have some work to take care of. How about I call you later?”

“Seriously?” Baekhyun asks. “For weeks, no, _months_ you’ve been stressing over the Manticore thing for Eyes Only and now that I finally think you’ve found a dead end where we all see one and moving on, you’re asking _me_ to leave?” He stares at Junmyeon, eyes wide and a frown on his face. “I can’t believe you. For as long as we’ve worked together and now you’re not letting me in on something?”

Minseok crosses his arms when Baekhyun risks a glance at him, raising an eyebrow in a challenge. Junmyeon suspects while Minseok may be one-hundred percent human, he can handle himself and will fight dirty doing it.

“What is this? A booty call?”

The laugh that comes out of Minseok’s mouth is high and ridiculous.

“Did you dump your Kyungsoo for a whore?”

The anger that fills Junmyeon then is endless and he he suddenly wishes for what feels the millionth time these past few months that he had use of his legs. Imagining how he’d drag Baekhyun out of the apartment and ask him not to come back. He isn’t new to the way Baekhyun just says whatever he wants, has no filter no matter who he’s around or what the situation is, but never before has it cut him so deeply. It’s never been directed at Junmyeon personally and it hurts more than Junmyeon could have ever imagined.

Before Minseok can say anything, Junmyeon is grabbing Baekhyun’s bag, dropping it in his own lap and rolling his chair towards to door of his apartment. “I want you out, now. Don’t come back, and don’t call me until I contact you. I’ll look into the information you gave me as soon as I can and let you know what I have.”

Baekhyun follows him like a puppy. “You can’t be serious Junmyeon.”

He tosses Baekhyun’s bag into the elevator that’s right outside his apartment. The perks of having the penthouse apartment are the direct connection to the elevator. “I can’t even look at you right now.”

For a moment he thinks there will be an apology, but finally Baekhyun moves into the elevator without a word. Junmyeon closes his door in silence, eyes trained on the hardwood floors of his apartment.

When he rolls back into his office a few minutes later, Minseok’s sitting in the chair Baekhyun was in before, hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket.

“I’m sorry for what Baekhyun said, about you, about Kyung—”

“Forget it.”

The air is stilted between them for a few moments while Junmyeon tries to calm himself down. He’s never been angry at Baekhyun before, not like this. It’s a lot to deal with. “I, um, also wanted to apologize about the other day in the car. You were right. It’s too big of a risk, especially now when anything could happen.” He digs through some papers on his desk, looking for the small notebook he carries with him when he goes out but lets out a frustrated sound when he can’t find it.

He doesn’t realize his hands are shaking until Minseok’s forcing a glass of water into his hands. “Drink,” the command comes, and Junmyeon does so without argument. When the glass is empty he clutches it between his hands in his lap. “You need to relax a moment, you’re never going to find anything like this.”

“I need to tell you what happened back in March, why there’s a chance Kyungsoo might be dead.” He glances up at Minseok, taking in how his face is perfectly expressionless as he watches Junmyeon. It takes him a minute but he explains the events of Donghae, Kyungsoo’s supposed cousin—

“I knew it was a lie the moment he stepped foot into our apartment,” Minseok says with a laugh, leaning back on Junmyeon’s desk. “There was something about him. This look in his eye.”

“It would’ve been nice if Kyungsoo noticed it too, but he was so happy to find any part of his family that...” Junmyeon stops and breathes for a moment. He tells Minseok about the incident in South Market, about how in the car his demeanor just changed in a split second. The car park where Kyungsoo almost died and Junmyeon killed the closest thing Kyungsoo had to a family member even if he was insane. “I don’t know if what he said was true but, Donghae told Kyungsoo that he killed the rest of the others that left. It was his mission. It’s very likely that’s what they did to Kyungsoo.”

Minseok stares at nothing, eyes unseeing as he sits against Junmyeon’s desk, taking it in. When he speaks his voice is rough with emotion. “So worst case, they killed him for...for what? Being a traitor?”

Junmyeon nods.

“And best case?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Kyungsoo’s told me little about what happened at Manticore. He’s mentioned bits and pieces, things he’s seen. I wouldn’t cross brainwashing off the list.”

Minseok puts his face in his hands and lets out a strangled noise before sitting up straight again and running his hands through his hair. Junmyeon can’t ignore the damp look of his eyes and the way the rims are tinged with red. “I need a fucking drink.”

“You know where the kitchen is.”

Abruptly Minseok stands and rounds Junmyeon’s chair. He pushes him to the kitchen and searches through the alcohol. “I don’t know much about wine,” he admits eventually and just grabs a bottle and presses it against Junmyeon’s chest, making him clutch at it instinctively, taking the empty water glass from his hands and putting it on the counter. He searches for a moment before coming up with wine glasses and handing them off to Junmyeon then pushing his chair once more until they reach the living room.

He sits on Junmyeon’s couch and opens the bottle, pouring them both a glass. “I’m still pissed at you, but I get the feeling that’s going to be the theme of this partnership.” He looks at the red liquid in his glass before going back to Junmyeon. “I want to find Kyungsoo though, as soon as possible, but I can’t actually do it without you.”

Junmyeon sips at his wine. “My contact didn’t have information on Manticore sadly, but she did have information about some other people who work in her field, maybe they’ll get us somewhere.”

“Names and numbers? Addresses?” Minseok asks, he kicks off his shoes, beat up and worn sneakers that fall to a heap under Junmyeon’s coffee table. “Depending on how many there are we can split up and get it done faster.”

He considers this as he watches Minseok drink some of his wine, making a face at the taste. It makes him think of Kyungsoo and the faces he makes at some of his wine collection. The thought leaves an ache in his chest. “It’s not a lot. I could… brief you on things to say, questions to ask maybe and you could do it.”

Minseok pauses at that, glass halfway to his lips as he looks at Junmyeon through the dome of it. “Seriously?”

Junmyeon shrugs. “I don’t see why not. I have something else I need to take care of anyway. Computer friend of mine contacted me a couple days ago, got some intel on an exoskeleton floating around the black market. He’s been tracking it for me and it turns out it’s here in Seattle.”

Minseok narrows his eyes at him, glass lowered from his face and cradled in his hands. “And that means?”

“Depending on, it could help with this whole chair nonsense without any risk.”

Regardless of what it is, Minseok doesn’t look very happy about Junmyeon pursuing this business about his legs but he nods anyway. “It’ll probably be good to have, especially if things get dangerous like before. I can’t imagine you broadcasting about Manticore is putting you on their good side.”

Junmyeon shrugs and drinks more of his wine. “Maybe it’s for the best? Getting their attention, it might lead us right to them.”

“Or get you killed.”

He considers this as he rubs a hand over his thigh, barely feeling the sensation. “I’m lucky to be alive already,” he mumbles.

Junmyeon can feel Minseok’s eyes on him but he doesn’t look back towards him, just past him and out the large windows that take up the far wall, looking over over the city.

It may sound dramatic, but Junmyeon is aware or the risks he takes everyday with this job, his cable hacks. He’s had more brushes with death than he can count now. He isn’t worried about himself though, not when there’s a chance Kyungsoo is gone. His top priority is finding out the truth and then if it’s what he fears he’ll do whatever he can to take down Manticore, even if it risks his own life.

 

* * *

  
  
“You want how much?” Junmyeon asks incredulously.

The vendor cross his arms, making himself look bigger by having his muscles bulge out. Junmyeon finds it ridiculous, it’s bad enough the man towers over him, probably still would if he could walk. He’s got to be over six foot. “Four hundred, and I’m not lowerin’ my price.”

It’s not that it’s unreasonable, Junmyeon thinks, it’s just the man has already told him the exoskeleton is damaged and needs some work done, he doesn’t see why he still has to pay so much. “And what’s wrong with it exactly?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. It was damaged when it got to me, I’m just tryin’ to get it off my hands.” He eyes Junmyeon’s chair. “Just because it looks like you need it isn’t gonna help your case, I’m tryin’ to run a business here.”

Junmyeon sighs and rubs at his forehead. “I understand that, and I’d be happy to pay you, I just need to know what’s wrong with it.”

The man laughs, voice loud and booming, gaining the attention of people around around them, making their own sales. “Do I look like I know somethin’ about high quality tech?””

“Honestly? No.”

His smile is nearly feral. “Exactly. Now stop wasting my time. Either give me the money or get out of the way of paying customers.”

Junmyeon pulls his checkbook out of his pocket and begins to fill it out. “This is ridiculous, I hope you realize.”

“If it was in working order I would be charging you at least twice as much,” the man says, still looming over Junmyeon. “Personally, I think you’re gettin’ a deal.”

“Says the guy getting four hundred dollars.” He rips the check out with slight aggression and hands it over.

The man smiles, showing off the discoloration of his teeth. “Excellent.” He folds it up and places it in his pocket before turning to some other guys working with him. “Boys pack it up and follow him to his car.”

Junmyeon greatly dislikes the sight of these men near his car, but he can’t very well move the thing and load it in himself so he deals with it.

When Junmyeon gets home the exoskeleton is a bitch and a half to get up to his apartment, but somehow Junmyeon manages. By the time Minseok shows up later that afternoon, still in the clothes he borrowed that morning to meet with the doctors and researchers Junmyeon got a hold of, he’s only managed to get it set up on a long table in one of his spare rooms.

“Dammit!” He yells when the hip joint shocks him as he’s trying to open it up to see the inner workings and maybe figure out what’s wrong. Junmyeon looks at his red fingertips and sighs, tossing the screwdriver onto the table.

“Well, that’s excessive,” Minseok says, pulling the messenger bag over his head. Junmyeon has to admit that he looks like a different person in the dark blue slim jeans, collared shirt, and black blazer he borrowed. He’s got an old pair of Junmyeon’s glasses on as well that while don’t really make him look any different but it helps to give him a different persona. “How much did you spend on that piece of junk.”

“More than I wanted to, but less than if it was in working order.”

Minseok stares at it, then makes a face. “You win some and you lose some.” He pulls the blazer off and tosses it on a chair. “I don’t know how Kyungsoo did all this under cover work, it’s daunting.”

He offers a small smile to Minseok but shrugs. “You get used to it, though probably lying to everyone about who he was his entire life helped.”

Minseok just grunts, pulling things out of his messenger bag. “Alright, so I was able to get a hold of Dr. Choi, who, by the way, is a total dick. It’s as if the whole world thinks you amount to nothing if you didn’t finish high school, like they can smell it or something.”

Junmyeon smirks. “It’s not like we didn’t have an electromagnetic pulse wipe anything out.”

“ _Exactly_.” He hops up on a smaller table in the room as he looks down at the notepad. “So behavior aside, the guy’s never heard of Manticore aside from your hacks. But in terms of genetic engineering, it’s a lot of stuff I don’t understand, high school dropout and all, but I wrote down what I could.”

“Was that the overall turnout? No info on Manticore?”

Minseok shakes his head. “Not really, couple of them heard something through the grape vine but you know how that is, shit gets lost in passing.” He flips through a few pages. “I did get the tip on this one doctor though. She worked at Manticore years ago, before The Pulse. I’m not sure what she got into while there but she should know a thing or two that could help us.”

Junmyeon nods and rolls his chair closer. “Did you get a name?”

“Uh, Dr. BoAh Kwon. She has a normal practice here in Seattle, kinda low key to keep her off the map.” He hands the notepad to Junmyeon and shrugs. “Gotta be dangerous living in the world after leaving that kind of a place.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, flipping through Minseok’s notes. There isn’t much, but it’s a start. Now all he needs to to figure out what’s wrong with the exoskeleton.

 

* * *

  
  
Junmyeon doesn’t call Dr. Kwon right away. He spends the next few days trying to get the exoskeleton working, with poor results. Things are still rocky between them, but Minseok’s taken to hanging out around his apartment in his spare time. It’s nice, in a way, even though it makes Junmyeon long for Kyungsoo’s company. He supposes it’s better than solitude.

“So what’s the deal with your buddy?” Minseok asks one afternoon, perched on a high stool that he dragged into the room.

Junmyeon has the exoskeleton laid out and a friend of his on speaker phone as he’s trying to work. “Buddy?”

He takes a loud bite into an apple. “The one that called me a whore.”

Ah yes, Baekhyun. He still feels bad about that incident, but has tried best to forget it. “What about him?”

He can hear the rustle of clothing as Minseok shrugs. “I don’t know, what’s your relationship with him? Seems like he’s got the hots for you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He puts the screwdriver he’s been working with between his teeth and rolls his chair back, glaring at the exoskeleton. “We’ve worked together for years. I’ve known Baekhyun since he was barely out of high school.”

“How old are you anyway?”

Junmyeon glances at him over his shoulder. “Uh, thirty-one, I think. A birthday might have passed.”

Minseok whistles. “Wow, you’re a cradle robber.”

That makes him pause. “What?”

“You know Kyungsoo and I are nineteen, right?”

“Yes, sometimes I get these painful reminders.” He gives Minseok a pointed look.

Minseok rolls his eyes. “Alright, sorry.”

He gets back to work a bit, fiddling around until he gets zapped again, burning his fingers. “Fuck. What the hell am I supposed to do, Namjoon? I have no idea how to fix this.”

_"You need a new processor. This one is burned out.”_

“Processor? Does it need a specific kind, because—” The disembodied voice cuts him off.

_"It needs to be one for robotics. It’s the only way it’ll be compatible.”_

Junmyeon scrubs his hands against his hair. “Well, where do I get one?”

_“I would suspect any place that uses robotic machinery. A lab, perhaps?”_

“They’re not just gonna hand over a processor to anyone.”

Minseok snorts from his place on the other side of the room. “Good thing you’re a trust fund baby then.”

“These things costs thousands of dollars probably! I don’t have that kind of money lying around, Minseok.”

_"You could steal it.”_

Junmyeon glances at Minseok, almost hopeful.

When he looks up from examining his fruit, Minseok blinks as if catching up with the conversation. “What? No, oh no. Don’t look at me. That requires a set level of stealth that I don’t have. Nope.” He shakes his head and takes another bites of the apple. “Find another cat burglar.”

“It was worth a shot,” Junmyeon sighs. “What about you, Namjoon? Got any other ideas?”

_“I’d have to look into it first, but there could be another solution.”_

“Here’s a thought.” Minseok jumps onto the floor and walks over to Junmyeon and the exoskeleton. “You got the blueprints for this hunk of metal right?” Junmyeon nods. “I don’t know much about engineering but, what if you rewire it? Take all the pieces that are controlled via the processor you currently need and replace them with something else. Whatever you can find with another main control system. You could probably make your own mother board for it.”

_“It isn’t a bad idea. You’d have to be careful, but it’s do-able. As long as you connect it right.”_

Junmyeon considers it, thinking over the possibilities. It’s crazy, but it could work. He’ll still need to spend some money, but not nearly as much as he would on a processor.

_“It seems as if you keep surrounding yourself with intelligent people, Junmyeon. Now if only you could match their levels.”_

“Very funny,” he snarks back, but smiles anyway. It’s kind of ingenious. He never would’ve thought of it on his own.

 

* * *

  
  
When Junmyeon returns to his apartment the flashing light of the answering machine catches his eye. Sometimes he forgets he has that thing, most of the people he talks to call him on his cell phone unless otherwise instructed. He watches it, the blinking red casting a weak shadow on the wall in the limited light of his office. Eventually he hits the playback button and waits.

 _”I know you said don’t call,”_ Baekhyun’s voice comes through and it makes Junmyeon heave a sigh. _”But I’m in a tight spot and I could really use your help. I--There’s no one else to call, Junmyeon. I’m sorry about what I said.”_ He pauses after that, his breath audible over the static of the phone. _”I need to go. I’ll call again.”_

It would be a lie for him to say he had forgotten about Baekhyun, about what he said, but it’s been in the back of his mind since Junmyeon kicked him out two weeks ago. He knows he should talk to him, that they’ve been friends long enough where Baekhyun deserves a chance to explain himself but it’s difficult to think about him right now when Junmyeon has so much else to worry about.

His relationship with Baekhyun has always been more push and pull. Over the years Junmyeon has changed a lot while Baekhyun is still the same he was at eighteen and fresh out of high school. Loud, crass, and very little regard for the feelings of those he isn’t close to. Back then, Junmyeon thought it was just childish ignorance, but now he knows it’s more for Baekhyun to protect himself than anything else.

After a bit of deliberation, Junmyeon picks up the receiver of his landline and dials the only number he has for a slim chance at getting in touch with Baekhyun. Part of him knows he’ll regret this later, he always does when he gives into the sad pleas of Baekhyun Byun when he’s in need, but he’ll regret it more if it’s a serious situation and something bad happens.

 _”How’s it goin’, my brother? You’ve reached Crash, what can I do for you?”_ The voice has a smooth island accent, taking Junmyeon aback for a moment. He was not expecting that.

“Uh,” he says intelligently. “I’m wondering if there’s a Baekhyun among your clientele this evening? About average height, dark hair, obnoxious laugh.”

The man laughs. _“Yeah, there’s someone here by that name. Let me get ‘em for you.”_

There’s some muffled sounds over the phone, chattering voices blending together, glases knocking against each other before he hears the distinct shuffle of someone picking up the receiver. _“Hello?”_ Baekhyun asks cautiously.

“If it wasn’t for the fact it’s always busy there, I’d say hiding in Crash is a dumb move on your part.”

Baekhyun lets out a breath. _“Fuck, I was so scared. Offer a name next time.”_

Junmyeon hums and boots up his computer. “You’re planning a next time?”

He can hear the eye roll. _”Of course, I just live for the thrill of getting arrested.”_

“Sometimes I think that’s true.” Junmyeon clicks open his email and sorts through by level of importance, checking the seemingly unimportant stuff while he talks to Baekhyun. “So? You needed my help?”

_”I was doing some investigating yesterday. There’s this rich dude up in sector four--”_

“Fuck,” Junmyeon hisses. “Why would you do that? You know how heavy a lot of the security is up there.” He begins pulling up his hacking programs, trying his best to get video feed from anything and everything he can.

 _“Yes, Junmyeon, I’m very aware of that fact, can I continue?”_ Junmyeon holds his tongue on berating Baekhyun more. _”The guy is loaded, and there’s been some talk that’s gotten back to the S1W that it’s less than legal the way he earns his money.”_

He pauses, fingers hovering over the keys. “Do you have any leads on what he’s doing to earn money?”

 _”I couldn’t even get that far,”_ Baekhyun admits. _”I knew shit was tight up in that area, but I was not expecting the whole nine yards. Pretty sure I tripped an alarm before I even got near the place.”_

Junmyeon leans back in his chair and, with one hand holding the phone to his ear, he takes the free one and runs it over his face. “Who is this guy?”

_”Taemin Lee. It’s mostly his father, who’s this big CEO for some company, I’m not sure which. They manufactured the old hover drones though. Taemin is supposed to take over within the year, but there’s been some talk lately of a new hover drone series coming out. There’ve been prototypes floating around the dark parts of Seattle and the edges of Terminal City. There haven’t been detailed reports on it, but some bodies have turned up.”_

He wants to smack his head against a wall at this information. “Why did you think it would be a good idea to investigate this yourself?” It’s a dumb question, Junmyeon knows it is and part of him doesn’t even really want to know. Sometimes he thinks Baekhyun has a death wish. “Never mind, get to mine as soon as possible. Try to not to draw attention to yourself.” He hangs up without a response, feeling a headache coming on.

Junmyeon stares at his computer screen, the beginnings of a security record search in sector four open, the internet window for his emails forgotten. He rubs at his temples, asking what he did to end up in these situations, but decides there is no answer for it, not really. Instead he rolls his chair away from his desk and to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of scotch. It’s strong and bruns on its way down, but is a welcome distraction.

They don’t talk about it when Baekhyun shows up, Junmyeon still sitting in the kitchen nursing his drink. He looks at Baekhyun, his dark unstyled hair and disheveled clothes. It’s not everyday Junmyeon sees Baekhyun not perfectly put together but he can’t enjoy to novelty of it. They sit around until Junmyeon finishes his drink, placing the glass on the kitchen island table.

“Get some sleep,” he says before rolling his chair out of the room. He makes a detour to his office to turn off his computer monitor, keeping the search program up and running, before going to his room and going through the tedious ordeal of getting ready for bed.

Morning isn’t much better. Junmyeon wakes early with a headache pressing against his eyes that makes him not want to get out of bed. He rubs at his eyes and does so anyway, but doesn’t change out of his sweats and t-shirt. Today is not a day for full effort, anything he has in him, Junmyeon will put it into his work and that’s it.

In the living room, once he finally gets there, Baekhyun is sprawled out on the couch, blanket hanging mostly off of him and onto the floor. Junmyeon entertains the idea of fixing it but decides not to and goes straight to his office, closing the door.

Hours later Junmyeon is brought back to earth by Minseok standing in the other doorway. His face is unreadable and his body is one tense line as he stares at Junmyeon.

He rubs his eyes and blinks a few times, trying to get them to focus right, before he relaxes back in his chair. “I know I’m forgetting something,” he says finally. “Naturally, since I forget I don’t know what it is at the moment.”

Minseok snorts. “Nah, you’re good.”

“Then what’s with the house call?”

He pushes off the doorjam and heads over to Junmyeon’s old desk chair, plopping down in it. “Shitty corrupt cops.” Junmyeon makes a noncommittal sound. “I never understood Kyungsoo’s anger towards Shindong until he wasn’t here to act as a buffer.”

“Shindong?” Junmyeon inquires. “He’s the cop that’s in charge of your building, isn’t he?”

Minseok nods. “Doesn’t like to let us forget we’re squatters. Takes every cent he can get outta us.” He falls quiet and looks past Junmyeon at nothing. “It’s harder without Kyungsoo around,” he says softly. “The amount he squeezes out of us doesn’t change, but there’s one less person to contribute.” Minseok frowns, brows knitting together in frustration. “They look down on us because we have to live like that, but it’s not our fault, it’s just how things are. I don’t really care one way or another, but...we have families, in our building. Small kids, some with only one parent and—How is that any way to treat little kids?” His eyes focus on Junmyeon again. “Sorry, little Timmy, some asshole in your building couldn’t pay up and since you have no daddy to maybe add a little extra to the pot, you and your mommy have to live on the streets now.”

He takes a deep breath and looks away completely. “It’s bullshit,” Minseok mutters. “It’s bullshit that we’re treated like the scum of the Earth because of The Pulse.”

“I take it you had trouble filling the pot this time.”

Minseok laughs. “Every cent I had went in there. It isn’t bad enough that we have less people, but he’s jacked up the fee too. Fat fucking ass wants everything he can get. And when confronted about it all he can do is shrug and say, _Life’s hard out here for all of us_. Well at least his fat ass has a cushy fucking job and now doesn’t have to worry about how he’s going to pay for food.”

Junmyeon considers this and before he can stop himself he says, “If you want, I can--”

“ _No._ ” Minseok says and glares at him darkly. “I’m an adult, I can take care of myself. It’ll just be difficult for a while. Once we find Kyungsoo, everything will—”

“Oh, great.” Junmyeon hears Baekhyun say. He closes his eyes and breaths through his nose in even, measured breaths. “This again.”

When he opens his eyes again, Minseok is still glaring at him, jaw clenched tightly.

“Baekhyun.” Junmyeon turns to look at him. “You remember Minseok. We’re working on a project together for Eyes Only.”

Baekhyun eyes the two of them, but Junmyeon remains unmoving, used to Baekhyun’s suspicious looks. “He said Kyungsoo, wasn’t that your boyfriend’s name? The one who worked as a messenger who suddenly _disappeared_. Is this that Manticore thing still?”

“This really isn’t the time Baekhyun,” Junmyeon says tersely.

Baekhyun scoffs. “It’s never the right time for you, is it?” He crosses his arms and looks from Junmyeon to Minseok and back. “It’s always this-that-or-the other thing. It’s always, _I need to save the world_ or _I need to stop this bad guy_. But you never just stop for five seconds and not think about the whole wide world.”

“What do you want from me?”

“You never think about the people around you, Junmyeon. That’s why your wife left you.”

Junmyeon doesn’t have to see Minseok’s face to know the shock he feels, Junmyeon feels it himself as it runs through his body. The strong feeling of betrayal at the mention of his wife, something not even relevant. “Shut your mouth, Baekhyun.”

“You can’t even take the time to care about yourself! That’s why you ended up in that chair!” Baekhyun’s shouting at him now, yelling at the top of his lungs and gesturing with his hands dramatically. “Mr. Junmyeon Kim, can’t do anything unless he’s trying to save the world, but he can’t even save his own friends, his own wife!”

Junmyeon grabs the first thing his fingers touch and hurls it across the room, just barely missing Baekhyun’s head and it shatters against the wall. “The only fucking thing I can do _is_ save the world! You know as well as I do how bad it is. Endless lies and corruption that never stop, no matter how many individuals you care about and protect. There’s always something, Baekhyun, always someone who will get to them and then get to you. It never fucking stops.” He licks his lips and ignores the way his heart hammers in his chest, racing with anxiety and adrenaline. “My wife had a problem. Post-Pulse was unkind to many and most, and those who didn’t lose everything sometimes couldn’t adjust to the differences in the world.”

He closes his eyes to keep the most painful memories at bay. It takes him a while, but a few minutes of calm breathing, Junmyeon is able to relax back into his chair a bit and look up at Baekhyun. “The thing about saving the world is you can’t save everyone, no matter what you do there’s always one person who won’t let you. Not everyone wants to be saved, Baekhyun. And that hurts more than not being able to save the ones you couldn’t save because you just weren’t fast enough, or smart enough, because it’s their choice. They want to fail and be forgotten.”

The room is silent for a moment before Minseok breaks it with a soft, “Junmyeon...” He can see the out stretched hand in the corner of his eye, reaching for him but he can’t bare the thought of someone comforting him now, touching him, telling him it’s okay, that it wasn’t his fault.

“I need some air,” Junmyeon mumbles, unlocking the breaks his chair and quickly rolling it out of the room and his apartment.

He spends an hour outside taking in the fresh air. He rounds the block a few times, slowly moving the wheels of his chair to just keep going. Eventually Junmyeon’s arms get tired and he moves his chair out of the way, allowing other pedestrians get by. He sits there and listens to the sounds of the people around him, passing him by. He focuses on whatever he can to not think about the past.

It doesn’t work.

He’s gotten over it by now, for the most part. He was never really in love with Irene, their marriage was more of a political one than out of love. Money marries money, and all that.

Junmyeon remembers with distinct clarity the day they met. It wasn’t even a year after The Pulse hit. His parents, while their company and the estate suffered, were trying to build things back up. Irene’s family worked for the government. Her mother, just a secretary, but her father was head director of their advertising company. Not only did they have money, they had power. Even after everything that happened, they suffered very little. Irene’s parents made an investment in Junmyeon’s family’s company to help keep things going, make them as good as they were before The Pulse, in exchange Junmyeon was to marry their daughter.

By then Junmyeon was twenty-two, fresh out of college and lost as to what he should do with his life. His brother’s family was doing well; he and his wife had just welcomed in their first child and Junmyeon’s mother couldn’t be happier. Looking back, Junmyeon isn’t sure why he was so okay with dating Irene, marrying Irene, but it seemed so simple. She was pretty, it would help out the family, and his own ideas of becoming a journalist could be pursued.

Everything was so easy, too easy if he’s being honest. They dated for a year, got along wonderfully, enjoyed each other’s company, it was nice. After a while Junmyeon thought that maybe he could even love her.

Technically he wasn’t wrong. He did end up loving Irene, in his own way, but he was never _in love_ with her.

Minseok finds him sitting in his chair close to the side of his apartment building, hands folded in his lap as he looks at nothing. “You’ve been out here a while.”

“I’ve been thinking.”

“You’ve been doing a lot of that lately.” He shuffles closer and crouches down next to Junmyeon’s chair, hand placed on the armrest to help keep him balanced. “I’m not gonna ask about your feelings or anything but, I guess I can be here if you wanna talk to someone or something.” Minseok shrugs.

Junmyeon smiles a little, only allowed the corner of his mouth to tip up as he turns his head to look at Minseok. “That won’t be necessary, but thank you.”

He scoffs. ”So fucking humble.” Rising to his feet, Minseok lets out a sigh. “I’m gonna bounce. You got some shit you need to work out with princess up there and I have other crap to do than be a mediator.”

Minseok makes it a few feet away before Junmyeon calls out to him. “My offer still stands if you need the help. A loyal friend of Kyungsoo’s shouldn’t have to suffer like that.”

“Please,” he snorts. “I took care of myself for a whole year before Kyungsoo showed up, what’s a few months really?” Minseok waves and rounds the corner before Junmyeon can reply.

Back up in his apartment, Junmyeon finds Baekhyun sitting on the couch biting his lip and twiddling his thumbs. He looks up when Junmyeon rolls his chair into the room and stares for five seconds before blurting out, “I’m sorry.” It makes Junmyeon wince. “I didn’t mean what I said, I was just so angry. You’re always... It’s not important.” Baekhyun shakes his head, hair flopping about. “Just know that I’m sorry.”

Junmyeon stares at him for a long minute before sighing. “You’ve never once apologized, don’t start now because you’ve said something that shouldn’t even hurt anymore.” He leaves the living room and heads to the kitchen to get a drink. It’s not even late afternoon but Junmyeon feels he deserves it for the day, week, month he’s had.

“I shouldn’t have said it regardless.” Baekhyun follows him to the kitchen and he can feel those eyes on him as he pours himself a glass of scotch. Not a lot, just enough to make everything a little more numb. “It was rude, and I hurt you.”

He laughs. “Baekhyun, you are not the first person to have hurt my feelings and you won’t be the last, it’s not a big deal.”

Baekhyun frowns at him and takes a seat in one of the tall stools at the island. “I remember what you guys were like. You and Irene.” Junmyeon closes his eyes at the mention of her name, bringing the glass up to his lips to take a sip. “You guys were like the ideal couple. Everyone’s life goal was to be like you two.”

“We weren’t perfect, Baekhyun.” He can’t help but laugh, remembering how he and Irene fumbled around each other, about her silent disapproval of his cyber journalism stuff. He remembers her in the end, strung out and sickly looking, begging Junmyeon to help her, asking for a little bit, just a little, just enough to get her through the day. No, they were never perfect and Irene never cared about him, not really. For her their marriage was about the security of their social standing, their place financially in the world it was a place to sleep when she wasn’t out and about, a way to keep up her image.

Junmyeon was her cover story.

He downs his drink and fiddles with the glass in his hands. “She had everyone fooled, me most of all.” He smiles bitterly at that. “I...loved Irene. Not in a traditional sense but it was still there, I still cared.” But she never loved him. “Sometimes I think about what our marriage would’ve been like if The Pulse never happened, but then I never would’ve married her.”

“Sure you would’ve,” Baekhyun says confidently. “I mean, you said you guys met at school right? So why--”

The laughter bubbles out of him as he reaches up to pour another drink. “That was a lie. Our marriage was a lie, Baekhyun, don’t you get it?” He smirks as he brings the glass up to his lips and takes a gulp of it. “Everything was a lie.” The image of Irene that everyone has is a lie.

When he empties his glass again in the silence of that admission, Junmyeon eyes the bottle before placing it in his lap along with the empty glass and rolling back into the living room, parking his chair right by the bank of windows. He slouches down a bit and gets comfortable before filling his glass once more.

“Everyone thought she was perfect. Pretty hair, pretty eyes, pretty face. Everything was _perfect_. My mother loved her.” He takes a sip. “I would look at her and think _I could fall in love with this girl_. She was kind and sweet and had such a big heart. Or so I thought.”

Junmyeon hears Baekhyun shuffle around. “What do you mean?”

“All she cared about was her next fix,” he says with a sigh, never taking his eyes off the skyline of the city. “We were married for five years, together for six in total and it took me four and a half of those to realize she was on heroin.”

“But--”

“Irene knew what she was doing, had been doing it for a while before we met. By the time we got together she was a pro.” The only reason why Junmyeon found out was because she started being careless, was doing it in the house and not someplace else. Junmyeon came home one day to find her lounging in the living room with a needle in her arm. From there on out, she didn’t seem to care anymore. What did it matter if she didn’t have to hide it from her husband? “I tried to help but.”

Baekhyun takes a deep breath. “But some people don’t want to be saved,” he finishes.

“But some people don’t want to be saved,” Junmyeon parrots back, voice barely above a whisper.

They sit in silence for a while, Baekhyun his companion in melancholy as Junmyeon drinks to numb the pain that will possibly never go away entirely.

Junmyeon doesn’t drink the day away in the end, but he does turn in early, leaving Baekhyun to his living room for another night as he retires to his room. He doesn’t sleep very well, instead laying in bed for hours staring at the dark ceiling. His brain won’t turn off and he spends the night thinking about Irene and then later Kyungsoo. When he finally does fall asleep his chest feels heavy and everything else is numb.

Baekhyun’s up the next morning when Junmyeon emerges from his room. He’s sitting quietly on the couch, legs wrapped up under him. Junmyeon stops on the edge of the room and stares before turning toward his office and having Baekhyun follow.

They’re silent as he boots up his computer, letting the soft hum of it wash over him. He doesn’t notice it most days, distracted by everything else that’s going on in the world, by the Kyungsoo shaped hole in his life, but today it’s comforting. It grounds him so he doesn’t feel like he’s going to float away into nothing, or be crushed under the the pain and sadness that rests on his shoulders. Junmyeon’s aware that he sounds like some spoiled, rich bastard who doesn’t care about anyone but himself when he says it, but he would honestly give all the money in the world to not feel like this; to have Kyungsoo here still.

“So, what’s this about new hover drones?” Junmyeon asks once his computer is up and running.

Baekhyun fidgets behind him before sitting down in Junmyeon’s old desk chair. “First, I want you to look up records of deaths in the city. I’m curious about something.”

He frowns but does so, hacking into the city’s records about anything and everything. While they do post the obituaries in the papers still, they don't put every single death that happens within the borders of Seattle. Most that don’t make the cut end up in the records they keep online. Junmyeon finds it hilarious that the government is still trying to rely on technology even after The Pulse, but he does thank the fact that they do. Makes his job just that much easier.

“Nothing strange,” he says after skimming the names and death descriptions. “What’s up?”

Baekhyun’s expression is pensive when Junmyeon looks at him, glancing over his shoulder. “Well, you know how they discontinued the program for police hover drones a few years ago? Saying there wasn’t enough funding for what it was costing them?”

Junmyeon nods and motions for him to continue.

“I heard some stories about people seeing them again a couple days ago, didn’t think much of it because you never know who’s really telling a factual story from a lie these days.” There’s a crease between his brows as he stares past Junmyeon. “But I just kept hearing them, and then finally I found a body. Still warm. First I thought it was just the result of a disagreement, some people are trigger happy, but the murmurs of the witnesses were...”

“Baekhyun,” he starts slowly. “Are you saying that there’s hover drones going around killing people?”

Baekhyun’s gaze finally focus on him, frown firmly in place. “That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

Junmyeon lets out a deep breath and rubs a hand across his forehead. “And you're positive that this Taemin is behind it?”

“Almost completely.” Junmyeon doesn’t like the fact that it’s not one hundred percent positive, but there’s not much he can do about it. “It makes the most sense!” He seems to sense Junmyeon’s skepticism. “When they were selling hover drones it was their highest form of income for _years_ , easily making them the richest bastards in Seattle. And aside from the fact that they used up too much fuel and vandalism is so high they were seen as an asset to the police force. Like a first response type of thing. They witnessed a crime, could easily alert the closest police officers.”

“You realize that today these would not work in your favor,” Junmyeon interjects. “Three years ago you sat here and bitched to me about how they did not work in your favor.”

Baekhyun rolls his eyes. “Because they didn’t! They further support police brutality and make the streets less safe than they already are, but that isn’t the point!”

“And the point is?”

He sighs as if Junmyeon is being obtuse on purpose, which he is, but Baekhyun doesn’t need to know that. “The point is, that if they raked in so much cash back then, maybe Taemin is thinking he could bring the company back to what it was, maybe even better, if he brings them back with a few modifications.”

“Like the ability to kill people?”

“Exactly!”

Junmyeon closes his eyes. “Okay, let’s say this is a thing that’s happening, and that Taemin is behind it. We need proof, Baekhyun.” When he opens his eyes again he tries to put as much feeling into the look he gives Baekhyun as possible. “I can’t do _anything_ until I have solid proof that this is happening, that these drones exist and that they’re hurting people. Until then it just sounds like a wild goose chase.”

Baekhyun stares at him before a smile breaks out on his face, it’s wrong though. This isn’t Baekhyun’s usual smile, it doesn’t light up his face or make his eyes shine with mischief. “You don’t believe me,” he says, doesn’t even ask.

“I didn’t say that, but do you think anyone’s going to believe Eyes Only if I can’t prove it?”

“And what can _Eyes Only_ do about it?”

Junmyeon narrows his eyes. “What are you implying?”

“Junmyeon, all you do is hide behind a camera.”

“Then why did you ask for my help?”

Baekhyun gives him a look, raises his eyebrows as if to say _what are you stupid?_ “Because a) you’re crazy smart, and b) we’re friends. I trust you to have my back when I’m in a jam, you always did before.”

He scoffs but smiles ruefully. “If you forget, I’m confined to a chair for the rest of my life. I can’t watch your back anymore.”

“What about that thing you bought? The exoskeleton.”

Junmyeon glances at it, standing in the corner of his office. “It still doesn’t work. Some of the wiring is fried and I don’t have anything to replace it with right now. Namjoon is working on getting me some replacements, but until then I can’t do anything.”

Baekhyun considers this. “What about--”

“Stop it.” He turns to face his computer again and begins typing away, getting the surveillance footage from outside of the Lee Estate. “I’m going to see if I can get something on Taemin, try to track his movements around the city, see where he goes. I can’t promise anything but it’s the best I can do.”

“Junmyeon, you don’t know--”

He cuts Baekhyun off again. “But I need you to stay out of trouble, I mean it this time. If what you’re telling me is true, and they really do have drones that can shoot you down, you can’t just dive in head first and hope I’ll be able to save you from everything with my computer and some cash. My computer can’t bring you back to life if you die.”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun says, voice strained and weak. “Yeah, okay. I’ll stay out of trouble.”

Junmyeon glances behind him, seeing the slightly terrified look on Baekhyun’s face. He doesn’t comment on it. “I’m gonna find a place for you to hide out for a couple days. Keeping you here isn’t a good idea. While I’m confident that the building’s security system can keep me safe from everyday harms, it can’t protect you from killer drones.” It’s supposed to be amusing, but Junmyeon knows it falls flat. “Why don’t you shower and get your stuff together, I should have something by then.”

Baekhyun mumbles a soft affirmative before leaving the room.

He sets Baekhyun up in a safe house just outside of city limits on Bainbridge Island. They drive out to the river and wait in the car while the ferry makes its slow trek across the river. “There’s someone that’ll meet you once you get off the ferry, they’ll take you to the safe house,” Junmyeon says, breaking the silence finally once the ferry is halfway to them. “I know it’s impossible for you, but stay inside as much as possible, the less people see your face the better. I don’t know how long it’ll take me to figure something out, but I’ll contact you when I can.”

Baekhyun doesn’t say anything for a while before he shifts in the passenger’s seat and slouches a bit. “If I didn't know that this was how you handled things, I’d think you were getting rid of me.”

He smiles a little. “It’s impossible to get rid of you, Baekhyun. You come and go as you please.” Baekhyun seems to light up a little at that. “You know I wouldn’t be doing this if there wasn’t such a risk. I haven’t been able to get the security footage from the Estate yet; we can’t risk them finding you.”

“I know,” Baekhyun says. “It’s just weird being on the receiving end of this.”

Junmyeon doesn’t know what to say to say to that, so he says nothing at all. From there time moves slower than molasses and impossibly fast and before he knows it the ferry is setting up at the dock.

Rubbing his hands against his thighs Baekhyun lets out a shaky laugh. “Can you believe I’m actually nervous? Me?”

It is a bit hard to believe, Junmyeon will admit. “Anyone would be in this situation.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, but I like to have brushes with death all the time, this should be nothing!”

“That was once, Baekhyun, you are not a professional in all life or death situations.”

“All it takes is one time, Junmyeon, then you know everything.” He wiggles his eyebrows in Junmyeon’s direction.

He can see through the act, through Baekhyun pretending that everything is okay and that he isn’t worried to death. He’s always worn his worry directly on his face when around Junmyeon and it makes his heart wrench uncomfortably. He decides to not call him out on it. “Get out of my car already,” Junmyeon says and turns away from him, mock glaring out of his window.

Baekhyun pats him on the arm before popping the door open and grabbing his bag from the foot well. “It’s okay Junmyeon, I know you’ll miss me.” He hops out before Junmyeon can say anything else and gets on the ferry without looking back.

He doesn’t dwell for more than a few seconds after that, then turns on the car and drives away.

When he gets back to his apartment, it’s past dark and there’s a shadow of a figure lounging on his couch and it makes Junmyeon pause, his throat closing and his heart racing.

 _Kyungsoo?_ he wants to ask, but his voice doesn’t work, his lips won’t move. Junmyeon is frozen in his spot, hands poised over the wheels of his chair as he stares at the person in his home.

Seeming to sense the change in the air the person shifts and sits up quickly before turning around and--

It’s not Kyungsoo. It was never Kyungsoo. Because Kyungsoo is...

His throat is tight for a whole different reason, but he manages to kick start his body into working again, carefully moving himself through the living room and to the kitchen. “How did you get in here?” He asks, ignoring how his voice is low and rough, hoping Minseok will as well.

Minseok follows him. “I’ve been practicing my lock picking skills,” he says seriously.

Junmyeon isn’t sure if that’s the truth or not. “And the alarm system?”

He shrugs. “Easy.”

Narrowing his eyes this time, Junmyeon carefully watches Minseok. “Either you’ve been snooping or I forgot to set it.”

Minseok smirks. “Who knows.” It’s unnerving how much he makes Junmyeon think of Kyungsoo these days. His heart aches. He wants to distance himself from Minseok and keep him as close as possible, wanting to embrace that emptiness with someone who feels it just as much, if not more so, than Junmyeon.

“Are you here for a reason?”

Another shrug. “Your Physical Therapist stopped by.”

He takes a deep breath. “And?”

“And I said you weren’t home.”

He rolls his eyes. “And why was she here?”

“Fuck if I know, I’m not your personal assistant, Junmyeon.”

Junmyeon licks his lips and looks away. “I’ll call her later, thanks. Now back to you.”

“Just checking in,” he admits, albit demurely. Immediately it raises Junmyeon’s flags.

“And you decided to stick around?”

Something flickers across Minseok’s face and for a split second he looks wrecked. “Don’t make me say it, I will walk out of here and never come back and-and--” he cuts himself off.

Taking the hint Junmyeon grabs a bottle of water and heads toward his office. “I have some work to do, you can hang around if you’d like.”

“Work?”

“Just something Baekhyun brought to my attention.” He starts up his computer and watches as it loads in its usual painfully slow way. “I’m waiting to hear from Namjoon still about the wiring for the skeleton. it’s taking longer than expected.” Everything is taking longer than expected, but everything is much more complicated than it was months ago. A year ago even. “How are things with you?”

“I got fired.”

Junmyeon turns away from his computer at that. “What?”

“Well, okay, it was _suggested_ that I don’t come back ‘until I get my shit together.’ I don’t know, Ryeowook’s an asshole.”

“What are you going to do?” Once again, Minseok shrugs. “You don’t seem very worried about this.”

“I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.”

Junmyeon takes a deep breath. “I know I said it before but, you are welcome here if--”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll figure something out.” He smiles at Junmyeon, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I have some things I need to do, but I’ll check in again later or something.”

“Okay,” Junmyeon says carefully and watches as Minseok take his leave. It doesn’t occur to him until a few hours later, long after Minseok is gone and Junmyeon has received confirmation that Baekhyun has reached the safe house okay, does he think that something is a little off about Minseok. There has been something off for a while now, but he isn’t sure what or how long it’s been like this. He hates that he’s been so distracted by Baekhyun lately that he hasn’t even been keeping an eye on Kyungsoo’s only friend.

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” he tries to reassure himself. It doesn’t really work, but Junmyeon doesn’t really know what he can do. He tries to push the thought away for now, saving it until he speaks to Minseok again and focuses on their current issue of possible hover drones.

 

* * *

  
  
Later turns out to be only the next day, though Junmyeon isn’t sure this is what Minseok meant when he said he’d check in. Checking in usually means a phone call or stopping by Junmyeon’s apartment or running into each at some place or another. Checking in doesn’t typically involve police and a set of handcuffs.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, putting the image of Minseok behind the bars of a holding cell out of his view for a moment. “I am at a loss for words.”

“Clearly not.”

His eyes snap open and he glares at Minseok. “You got arrested, I’m not even sure I want to know why.”

Minseok rolls his eyes back at him, but his face is hard and closed off. “Either bail me out or leave, I don’t need a lecture from you. I can take care of myself.”

“Clearly not,” the throws back. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be--”

“Well, if it isn’t Minseok,” a voice says from behind Junmyeon, making him tense up further. “Never thought I’d see you on this side of the law. Your friend on the other hand. What was his name? The pretty one that’d always give me lip. The one that ditched you.”

Minseok nearly lunges at the bars holding him in the cell, pressing himself up against them. “Shut your fat mouth, Shindong. Another word and you’ll want me to stay in this cell.”

Junmyeon looks over his shoulder and is taken aback by the near looming figure behind him. So this is Shindong, he thinks. He’s not a very impressive man. Large, yes, but Junmyeon isn’t so sure of his capabilities in a hand to hand fight. He’s soft, and looks to be used to the protection of a field uniform, not what a desk jockey parades around in.

Shindong’s smirk is dirty then and he leans over Junmyeon as much as he can to get to Minseok. “You’ve been feisty in the past few months, Minseok. You must know what it does to me.” He licks his lips and eyes Minseok up and down. “What do you say you ditch the cripple and--”

“Last I recall, officers weren’t supposed to solicit sex, or anything for that matter, from criminals and civilians alike.” Junmyeon moves his chair, putting some distance between himself and Shindong while still bringing himself closer to the cell and Minseok. “Wouldn’t want the wrong people to have that information, would you?”

Shindong’s focus turns to him and his eyes narrow. “Are you threatening me?” He scoffs. “There’s nothing you have to back it up, you know nothing about me.”

It’s Junmyeon’s turn to smirk. “I know enough, Officer Shin.”

His expression shutters before hardening once more; he backs off regardless. “I’d watch myself if I were you,” he says to Junmyeon. “Nobody likes a big mouth.” He stalks off, back to the bullpen but Junmyeon doesn’t move until the door between the holding cells and pen is closed.

“I’m going to gut him,” Minseok says under his breath. “Hang him by his intestines.”

Junmyeon turns his chair. “Please don’t, I can’t help you if you get charged for murder. Trespassing is one thing.” He watches Minseok, waiting for a reaction but sighs when there is none. “I’ve done this for Baekhyun a few times, there’s usually a mountain of paperwork, so it might be an hour or so.”

When Minseok is later released into Junmyeon’s care he’s tired and beyond a little annoyed. Minseok doesn’t look much better for wear either, but neither of them say anything as they settle into Junmyeon’s car. The silence remains until they get back to the apartment.

“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Junmyeon says once they’re inside and the door is closed. “I know you can take care of yourself but something has been going on with you lately and you need to tell me what it is.”

Minseok laughs. “I really don’t.”

“I just bailed you out of jail!” He shouts. “I think I deserve to know why.”

“You do this kind of thing all the time without any question, why is it so different all of a sudden?”

Junmyeon grips the wheels of his chair tightly, blunt nails digging into his palms from where his fingers are curled around the cold metal. “It just is,” he forces out.

“If you can’t give me a straight answer, I’m not going to return the favor.”

He contemplates his choices, what to say. No matter what comes out of his mouth Minseok will be upset, furious even, but at least then he’ll have answers. Junmyeon is positive that this won’t be the last time Minseok gets himself into something and he knows from previous accounts that the less he knows, the more dangerous it is. Minseok’s safety comes before his pride, before his self preservation. “Sometimes I think it was all a dream, everything that happened in the past year. That maybe he didn’t actually exist and I just made it all up in my head. And then, then I look at you, I talk to you and you’re just this painful remind of _everything_ and it’s unbearable sometimes, but it’s also a massive weight off my chest because _it was real_. Kyungsoo was real, is real, and you’re the proof of it.”

He can see Minseok’s face contort into anger, displeasure at Junmyeon’s words. “So I’m just a pawn?”

“ _No,”_ he says quickly. “That’s not what I’m saying. You. You’re salvation. Minseok, you make me feel as if I’m not crazy because the loss of Kyungsoo effects you just as much as it does me, but you still keep going.” Junmyeon can feel his hands cramping up, his fingers protesting their locked position around the metal of his wheels. “You are endless, Minseok. Without you around, I probably wouldn’t have bothered trying. I’d be completely immersed in finding Kyungsoo, yes, but...” He trails off, pauses in thought. “It would’ve been destructive. I would be dead before I end up somewhere conclusive.”

His face is still lined with displeasure, an unhappy set to his mouth, but he’s seemed to have calmed down a bit. “For a rich, smart guy, you sure are pathetic.”

Junmyeon laughs at that, soft, weak. “Perhaps.” He forces his fingers to uncurl then flexes them in his lap to regain the feeling.

“I’ve been...looking into things on my own,” Minseok admits after a prolonged silence. “I’m not a hacker or a pro at research or anything but,” he shrugs and doesn’t finish his sentence.

“Looking into what?”

Minseok eyes him, brow pulled tight in thought and he crosses his arms over his chest. “Have you heard about the hover drones?”

This startles Junmyeon but he nods before moving his chair to his office. “Yeah, Baekhyun told me a few days ago. Something about them killing people?”

He hears Minseok’s footfalls behind him along with his hum of agreement. “It seems kind of sudden, don’t you think? Almost random to anyone in the general public.”

“But you think otherwise.” He quickly begins to type away on his computer pulling up any recent deaths but coming up with the most mundane things. “Did you find out who manufactures them?” Junmyeon asks almost as an afterthought.

“Some rich dude with too much time on his hands.”

Junmyeon snorts. “Taemin Lee. Well, he’s the one set to take over the company, his father introduced the prototype for hover drones back in 2014 when the aftermath of The Pulse was starting to level out. Things were bad, but slowly rising again. Seattle had a lot of crime, some of it petty, some of it not so much.” He pulls up the files he has on the Lee family, then an image of Taemin and his father from earlier in the year. “The point in the hover drones was to lower the crime rates and raise the response time. It worked for a while, but as you know, Post-Pulse cops don’t really care about right and wrong, just their paycheck.”

“They abused their power.”

With a hum, Junmyeon turns to face him. “The drones had a built in camera to record footage of the city, in a better world it might have worked out well. Eventually, it was decided to stop the hover drone program, the amount of money going into it was not worth the results they were seeing. By sometime in 2017 the rest of them were taken off the streets—or out of the air I should say.”

Minseok frowns. “So why are they back all of a sudden?”

He sighs and shrugs. “Who’s to say, really. Baekhyun thinks Taemin’s after the money, which isn’t a surprise there; the drones put the Lee family in a nice position back then. I’ve yet to come to a solid answer, though.” He considers Minseok. “But I’m guessing you have a theory of your own.”

“What if it’s Manicore?”

Junmyeon narrows his eyes. “Explain.”

“You said that Donghae guy killed the others that escaped with Kyungsoo, right?” He waits for Junmyeon’s nod. “Well, what if he didn’t? Or what if there are others that have gotten out, or were sent out on missions and just never returned?”

“You think Manticore hired Taemin to manufacture these again for him, only to upgrade their capabilities to kill? All for what? Finding a few rogue transgenics?” It’s a little farfetched, but the more Junmyeon thinks about it, the more likely it seems.

Minseok shrugs. “It’s possible!”

Junmyeon makes a face, but doesn’t dismiss the idea. “That still doesn’t tell me why you were arrested.”

“I was tailing Taemin.”

Putting his face in his hands, Junmyeon groans. “You are just as bad as Baekhyun. Why doesn’t anyone tell me any of this information until _after_ they get into trouble?”

“I didn’t want to say anything until I was positive,” Minseok snaps. “Also, you aren’t my keeper, I am not one of your informants, you don’t get to dictate or monitor my actions.”

Junmyeon rubs his hands over his face and into his hair, pushing it back from his forehead. “Remember that next time you get into trouble and need my help then.” That seems to shut Minseok up. “This changes everything, I have to look into a few things, see if I can get some bank records, something. If I can get hard evidence of the Lee’s involvement with these killings and Manticore maybe, _maybe_ we can do something about it.” He turns back to his computer and begins typing again, trying to find something.

“Do you think we can find Kyungsoo, though? Get him back?”

Junmyeon’s entire body freezes. He stares down at his hands, poised over the keyboard. “I think we’ll be that much closer.”

Minseok doesn’t say anything after that and eventually Junmyeon gets back to work, losing himself in it until he turns to get something from his printer and finds that Minseok is gone.

 

* * *

  
  
A deep single deep breath.

In and out.

“This is a streaming freedom video,” Junmyeon says calmly, keeping his eyes focused solely on the camera lense that’s recording, broadcasting his every word. “It cannot be traced and it cannot be stopped; the cable hack will last exactly sixty seconds.” Another breath. “A few weeks ago, bodies started turning up in the city of Seattle, most of them left unidentified or have very little records. Each incident is seemingly unconnected but they all bare multiple gunshot wounds as the indicator of death.” He pauses for dramatic effect. “Seattle isn’t known for its crime-free streets, but many witnesses have claimed to have spotted a hover drone near the scene of each incident. For those of you who don’t know this, hover drones were manufactured between 2014 and 2017 by the Lee Corporation. Recently, the son of the CEO and co-founder of the company, Taemin Lee, has been making an appearance and preparing for his take-over in the next year or so. It doesn’t seem like a coincidence that the hover drones are popping up again while Taemin begins to make a name for himself, but the only one who will know for sure is Mr. Taemin Lee himself. This have been a streaming freedom bulletin.”

Junmyeon cuts off the recording, video feed, audio feed as well as his signal scrambler before letting out a sigh. He presses his fingers to his eyes and rubs at them until he sees spots. Most of his work is risky, and any number of his video broadcasts could get him into trouble but this, Junmyeon has to admit, takes the cake.

“Kinda ballsy,” Minseok says from somewhere behind him. “Don’t you think?”

He turns around and pulls the headset from his ear. “You need to learn how to knock,” he says through his teeth. It wasn’t cute when Kyungsoo did this, and it still isn’t with Minseok. These people are going to give him a heart attack.

“I would’ve, but you were a little busy.” Minseok drops himself into the desk chair and lounges back. “But back to you, are you sure that was a good idea?”

Junmyeon swallows and tears his gaze away from Minseok. “No.”

“So why--”

“Because we don’t have many options. Every day that passes is one day closer to Taemin taking over the company, one more day we haven’t found Kyungsoo, one more fucking day that someone else could be killed.” He shoves himself away from his desk and rolls into another room. “I’m tired of feeling like I can’t accomplish anything, it’s driving me insane.”

He hears Minseok get up and follow after him, boots audible on the hardwood floors of his apartment. “I think it’s a little late for that one.”

Junmyeon grinds his teeth together. “You’re not exactly helping.”

“Me?” Minseok snorts. “The hell does that mean?”

He doesn’t answer, just lets the silence build between them.

“Don’t make me regret trying to trust you Junmyeon, not when we’re this fucking close.”

Junmyeon ignores him. “Namjoon was able to get the wiring that I need for the exoskeleton. I have all the parts to fix it now.”

He hears Minseok’s hesitation. “Okay.”

“I-” he licks his lips. “I don’t want you to come around for a few days while I fix it. I can’t afford to mess anything up, not now and you...you’re a distraction, of sorts.” He can feel Minseok’s glare on the back of his head. “Three days, max.”

For a long time Minseok doesn’t say anything, but he grunts out a, fine,” before walking off, slamming the door behind him.

Junmyeon sits in his chair for a long time just breathing, trying to keep himself calm and relaxed. When that doesn’t work he takes a shot of whiskey to help clear his head. It doesn’t really have the desired effect but he takes what he can get and rolls back into his office and spreads out the exoskeleton.

Three days isn’t a lot of time, not for the complex wiring that’s going on in this thing, but it’s all that he has.

Junmyeon spreads everything out, the skeleton, the blueprints, and then keeps the new parts off to the side. Slowly, he begins to take apart the exoskeleton, removing piece by piece and placing them all down together in the order he took them out. Once he has all the parts separated he begins to remove the old wiring, starting with any bits that look fried.

_“Are you going to remove all the old wiring?”_

Junmyeon ignores the disembodied voice in his ear that Namjoon normally uses when communicating over the internet as he works on a more difficult crevice of the exoskeleton, working around the delicate webbing of wires. It isn’t until he removes the fried section of wiring without shocking himself does he let out a breath and answer Namjoon. “I haven’t decided yet,” he says. “I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to rework the power source. I need to know how much of the original was fried. If most of it’s useless I might as well just remove it all.”

_“You might want to consider removing it all. I didn’t bother to check the compatibilty for that model and just got you the most efficient               type for what you’re using it for.”_

He stops what he’s doing and looks up at his monitor that’s projecting Namjoon’s face. “It would’ve been nice to know that information before.”

Namjoon smirks, just a small tick of the corner of his mouth.

“You’re not funny,” Junmyeon huffs.

_“At least I told you before you tried to combine the two.”_

Junmyeon spends the better part of the day removing the old wiring without causing more damage and repairing the little things, replacing screws, tightening parts that were loose. When Junmyeon realizes he can’t stall the important part anymore he sits back in his chair with a sigh. “What do you think the chances of me getting this right the first time are?” He asks Namjoon.

“Do you want actual statistics?”

“I’m starting to rethink this whole friendship we have going, to be honest.” He glances up at his computer screen to see Namjoon smile innocently at him.

_“I’ll take that as a compliment.”_

“Right.” Junmyeon looks back to his mess of parts. “It shouldn’t be too difficult. I’m just rewiring an entire piece of superior technology, no big deal.”

          _“A walk in the park really.”_

With that, Junmyeon nods to himself and sets about laying out the most important but basic wiring throughout it. He needs to make sure everything that goes to actually allowing it to move is connected properly. Having a power source is useless without it being able to work.

Three days pass in the blink of an eye and by the time Junmyeon resurfaces he’s exhausted and his back has never hurt so much in his life, and he was shot in the lower spinal cord. He looks at his completed work in awe as it stands perfectly on the mannequin looking brand new.

_“How do you feel?”_

Junmyeon can’t help but smile when he turns to face him computer and Namjoon. “Tired.”

_“I meant from a technical standpoint.”_

“Successful.”

Namjoon smiles fully in return, rare in and of itself, but it’s there.

_“Are you going to test it?”_

Junmyeon shakes his head and lets out a yawn. “After some sleep, maybe. I need to contact both Minseok and Baekhyun later today. Dealing with Baekhyun is tiresome on its own, I need some rest before that.” He hangs up with Namjoon soon after that and spends another few minutes looking at the exoskeleton before going to take a nap, feeling much more accomplished than he has in months.

 

* * *

  
  
The next time he sees Minseok the other is quiet and pulled in on himself, much like he was all those months ago when Junmyeon first went looking for Kyungsoo. It’s an interesting sight to see considering everything that’s been happening lately and it throws Junmyeon for a loop. “I’m sorry about how I acted,” he says first thing, making Minseok pause as he wanders around Junmyeon’s office. “I was getting impatient with everything and I let that affect how I treated you.”

Minseok shrugs, but doesn’t say anything. Noticing how distant he seems to be, Junmyeon decides to pretend like nothing's wrong and just get into it, hoping he’ll thaw out a bit.

After he managed to get some rest, Junmyeon did some snooping. He was able to get the footage of both Baekhyun and Minseok’s attempts at getting close to Taemin and delete them. He’s still keeping Baekhyun on lockdown at the moment, just to be sure, but he’s pretty confident that Minseok will at least know better than to make the same mistake twice.

“I contacted my detective friend, tired to see if he knew anything about Taemin’s activities, but there isn’t much. Aside from the time that you tailed him, he’s almost never in the public eye anymore.” He pulls up some files on his computer and spreads them out. “So I took another approach. With some work, I was able to find an account money has been wired from to Taemin directly, not the company. The name on it doesn’t have any records, no social, no family, nothing.”

Minseok makes a face and shifts closer, leaning over Junmyeon’s shoulder to get a look even though he gives up seconds later muttering that he doesn’t understand any of that. “What does that mean?”

“Well the name on the account is _Cora Monti_ ,” he manages to say with a straight face.

Minseok gives him a blank look. “You’re joking right.”

“Does it look like I am?”

He squints back at Junmyeon’s computer screen and his eyes dart back and forth over the text. “I thought they were supposed to be a super secret military government agency.”

At this, Junmyeon can’t help but smile. “It would appear not so much.” He turns to his computer again. “I’ve been checking the street cameras for any signs of these hover drones, but so far nothing has come up. If I can get proof that they exist, we’re pretty much set for busting Taemin and connecting him to Manticore. It’s not a solution to getting Kyungsoo back sadly, but.”

“Yeah,” Minseok says faintly. “What about older drones?”

He hums. “There’s a junk yard in sector seven, that’s where most of the drones were taken there after they were disabled. Most of them have probably been scrapped for parts by now, but a picture of one of them could possibly help us.”

“Want me to check it out?”

Junmyeon hesitates, biting his lip in thought. “If it’s not too much trouble? I don’t want to say we need photographic evidence of them to compare the two, but the more solid information the better.”

Minseok shrugs. “Hook me up with a camera and I’ll head out there when I get a chance after work tomorrow.”

That makes him turn around, frowning at Minseok. “I thought you said Ryeowook fired you.”

“No, it was totally a leave. I headed over the other day and said that “it was a mistake to let my personal affairs affect my work and it won’t happen again”. He bought it and gave me my job back.” He sticks his hands in his pockets.

“I don’t want to get you into trouble again.”

Minseok shakes the concern off. “Not your fault. Plus, this helps out more than just us.”

“Yeah,” Junmyeon agrees. “I’ll see what I can come up for you as soon as possible.”

Nodding, Minseok points over his shoulder. “I’m gonna head out then. I’m on my lunch break and I’d like to have time to actually eat lunch.”

“Sure,” he says, and turns away so he doesn’t have to see Minseok leave, feeling how unsettled things are between them. Junmyeon wants to ask about it, but he feels that he’s overstepped too many boundaries these past few weeks that he needs to distance himself again. It’s not as if they’re _friends_. At most, they are partners in a joint effort to bring back Kyungsoo and take down Manticore.

Partners they may be, but friends they are not.

 

* * *

  
  
Obtaining proof of the hover drones is harder than Junmyeon would have expected. It seems that before Junmyeon was digging into this, there was sighting after sighting of them, but now there isn’t a peep. No one has reported seeing one or any mysterious deaths since he made his cable hack nearly two weeks prior.

The more Junmyeon thinks about it, the more frustrated he becomes. In a fit of rage one afternoon, he searches for things about this whole mess on his desk and comes across the Ex-Manticore doctor. He had forgotten all about her.

Realistically he has little reason to contact her anymore. He can’t be worried about the gene splicing, or anything with genetics, not while busting Taemin and when trying to get the drop on Manticore is his top priority. But maybe she can help with something. Anything. It’s a risk, he knows it is, but staying in his apartment is doing him no good.

Junmyeon sets up his computers to monitor the street cameras, saving their activity to his hard drive, then sets out to find her at the address in his notes for his private practice.

When he gets there, Junmyeon isn’t sure what he was expecting, but it’s sure not what he gets. Logically his brain tells him that given everything that’s going on in the world, and with how top secret Manticore is, he should’ve guessed that the doctor would want to lay low. The neighborhood he ends up in comes as a bit of a shock regardless.

He’s not sure what he was thinking, testing out the exoskeleton in a situation like this, but he suddenly feels ridiculous and terribly grateful he packed his chair as well, going through the motions like usual to remove it from the back of the car and place himself in it. It’s startling to realize how used to it he’s become in the past year and a half even though he’d been walking his entire life before.

Slowly, Junmyeon makes his way into the doctor’s office, taking the state that it’s in and how it isn’t much better than the outside. With a frown he looks around, trying to find a sign of someone, but it appears to be empty.

An unsettling feeling grows in the pit of Junmyeon’s stomach, and he suddenly regrets the choice to come here to investigate. He reaches behind him in the space between his back and the back of his chair, curling his fingers around the gun he thought to bring along, just in case. Before he can pull it out though, he hears the click of one from behind him, drawing his attention to another person in the room, with a cocked gun.

“Do you have an appointment?” a voice asks, unfriendly.

Junmyeon considers his options, keeping his fingers curled around his gun, testing the weight of the cool metal against his hand.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I’ve been handling a gun a lot longer than you have.”

With a silent sigh, he lifts both hands in their air. “I’m not here to hurt you, I just had a few questions.”

Slowly, they walk around the room to stand before Junmyeon, keeping their gun trained on him the entire time. “Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”

Carefully, Junmyeon reaches a hand into his jacket pocket, aware of the person, the doctor, eyeing him warily. “I was given information about a doctor who specializes in genetic work. Specifically gene splicing for genetic enhancements.” He pulls out the slip of paper with Minseok’s notes on it from all those weeks ago, the doctor’s name, number and address on it.

Dr. Kwon narrows her eyes. “Who did you say you worked for?”

“I didn’t,” he replies. “I’m a journalist, on paper.”

“And in reality?”

He smiles ruefully. “I work for Eyes Only.”

Kwon lowers her gun with a deep sigh. “You can’t be here, you need to leave. Now.”

“And I would, but I need your help.”

“Whatever you’ve been told, forget it,” Kwon says. “I can’t help you.” She turns around, finally putting her back to Junmyeon, turning the safety of the gun back on.

Heaving a sigh, Junmyeon says, “I know you worked for Manticore.” Or he would have said that if not for the sudden explosion of glass from the far window as it shatters inward. He jumps up from his chair before he can even think about it, taking hold of Kwon’s wrist and diving behind a solid table to protect them from the shattering glass and rain of bullets.

When Junmyeon risks a look at Kwon he sees an expression almost close to terror on her face. “What the hell is going on?”

Junmyeon turns around, now thankful for the exoskeleton and glances over the top of the table. There’s a hover drone just outside the window, scanning the room for life, for Kwon. “I could be wrong,” he says softly, “but I think someone wants you dead.”

She laughs. “Nothing different from any other day of my life.”

He doesn’t know how to respond to that and files it away for later. “We need to get you out of here. Gene development isn’t the only thing I wanted to talk to you about, actually.”

With heaving breaths, Kwon glances around the room, seeming to assess the situation. “There’s a door; it leads out back. My car is parked there, we could probably make it to it if we act fast.”

Junmyeon turns back around and peeks over the table. The hover drone is still in the window, scanning the room. He thanks whatever higher being there is for the fact the windows aren’t wide enough for it to pass through. “It seems it’s our only option,” he agrees.

Quickly and carefully they make their way toward the back door, Kwon leading the way regardless of how it unsettles Junmyeon. It seems almost too easy to slip out the back and into Kwon’s car and drive away, but Junmyeon is almost positive that something will come up again within time. For now he’s just grateful to have gotten out in one piece.

Her hands are tense on the steering wheel, knuckles white as she grips it. “I suppose now I have to escort you somewhere,” she says, but it’s not a question.

“It would be nice,” Junmyeon replies. “After all, I did just save you.”

Kwon snorts. “Or you’re just leading me to believe you’re the good guy.” They pull to a full stop at an intersection, waiting for the light to turn green. “I have a lot of people after my life, Mister...”

“Kim,” he offers. “Junmyeon Kim.”

“Right.” They start moving again. “A person claiming to be on my side isn’t new, so forgive me if I don’t buy your story.”

Junmyeon purses his lips in thought. He wasn’t expecting this to be easy, but this blatant disregard that Junmyeon is only out for the best of everyone is new to him. “I know you worked at Manticore,” he admits finally, then waits for the rain of bullets once more, tense until he’s sure they aren’t coming. “I know about the Genetic Soldiers and all the horrible things that go on there, and I want to stop it.”

She snorts again. “Good luck. Me personally, I’d rather be as far away as possible from any mention, or idea, of Manticore.”

He considers this carefully, thinking over what to say next. “Why did you leave?”

“That’s not really any of your business, is it?”

“I suppose not,” he agrees, shrugging slightly. “Inquiring minds want to know, though.”

“How can I guarantee that you don’t work for them?”

Junmyeon glances at Kwon out of the corner of his eye. “You can’t,” he admits. “But you have just as much of a chance of survival trusting me as you do by not trusting me. Eventually, they’ll find you, those hover droves will show up again, and I doubt you’ll be so lucky a second time.”

She makes a small noise in the back of her throat, but says nothing more. Junmyeon considers this a win. “We’re close to my apartment. We can discuss things in detail there.” He pulls out his phone and calls Minseok, hoping to catch him at a convenient time. When he doesn’t answer, Junmyeon sighs in frustration and calls JamPony, hoping someone there will pick up.

“JamPony,” a voice answers sounding depressingly monotone. “For all your package delivering needs.”

“Is Minseok there?” He asks. “It’s important.”

There’s a long suffering sigh on the other end before some noise against the receiver. “How many times do I have to tell you that this is not your personal messaging service. Have calls on your own time. Minseok! Some lowlife wants to talk to you, says it’s important.”

There’s a pause before Minseok’s voice is picked up over the line, but it’s still a little distant, signaling that he hasn’t put the phone to his ear yet. “Putting people down is not a way to get them to like you, Ryeowook, you do know this right?” He doesn’t wait for a response before he’s focusing on Junmyeon. “You’ve reached Minseok, one of the most depressed employees in this hell hole, who is this?”

“Normally people don’t broadcast their mental health issues at work like that,” Junmyeon says.

There’s a ruffling sound, making Junmyeon assume that he shrugged. “Such is life. What’s up?”

“Remember when I had you do some scout work for me a while back?” He risks a glance at Kwon, taking in her displeased expression.

“Sure, the doctor shit, what about it?”

“I can’t talk about it over the phone, is there anyway you can meet me at mine?” He gains Kwon’s attention quickly, signaling for a turn. “Preferably soon.”

There’s a pause on Minseok’s end, some muffled talking. “I’m going on lunch break soon, will that do?”

Junmyeon glances at his watch and frowns. “I suppose I don’t have much of a choice.”

“Not really. But you got food at your place right?”

He rolls his eyes. “Yes, Minseok.”

“Cool, see you in thirty.” The line goes dead after that, startling Junmyeon.

When he focuses back on Kwon, Junmyeon can tell she’s unhappy, with him specifically. “A colleague of yours?”

He hums, bobbing his head in a little nod. “We have our reasons for wanting Manticore gone.” He spots something close to a smirk on Kwon’s face, but nothing more is said aside from directions to Junmyeon’s building, where they then wait in silence for Minseok to show up.

“Whoa,” is the first thing he says when he lets himself into the apartment and makes his way to Junmyeon’s office. Junmyeon’s been pacing the room, trying to figure out ways to get Kwon to trust him, but coming up with nothing. “You’re still short.”

Junmyeon shoots him a dark look. “That’s what you focus on?”

Minseok shrugs. “For some reason, I thought you’d be taller. It’s disappointing. You can’t even sweep Kyungsoo off his feet.”

He rolls his eyes. “Can we get onto business? We’re kind of pressed for time.”

With a sigh, he waves a hand for Junmyeon to get on with it, but makes his way to the kitchen to look for food, which is highly unsurprising. “Spotting and photographing a hover drone are on very different ends of the spectrum,” he starts with. “I was not expecting machine guns of that caliber on something so small.”

“Someone’s desperate,” Minseok says. “Unsurprising, considering you made yourself public enemy number one, but I digress. So what, you found this doctor?” He wanders into the living room, apple in hand and unhappy about it. He seems to stop abruptly when spotting said doctor. “There’s my answer...”

Kwon turns her glare onto Minseok but directs her words to Junmyeon. “I’m not sure how I feel about the amount of windows in your apartment. If what you say is true, those hover drones will be back.”

Junmyeon was already worrying about that, brain scrambling at what to do about everything on his plate. “I’m going to arrange a safe house for you once we’re done here, just until everything dies down and it’s safe again.”

“Define safe,” Minseok mumbles but takes a bite of his apple anyway. “So what are we doing, because I only have thirty minutes before Ryeowook’s on my ass again.” He sits on the opposite end of the couch from Kwon and looks at Junmyeon pointedly.

Rubbing at the back of his neck, he sighs. “I have a lot of questions, but I’ll stick to the most important.” He pauses to gather his thoughts. “What was the purpose of Manticore, for starters?”

“Superior soldiers, stronger, faster, _better_. Nearly flawless,” Kwon says. “Why not share that with the world, is your next question. Imagine the fallout when telling the people of our country that thousands of tax dollars go into genetic alterations for people developed in test tubes. Imagine the reaction with our military.”

“Why not use them as actual Military?” Minseok asks, sparing a glance at her. “They’re _”purpose”_ is to fight and supposed serve the people, so why not make it an actual division?”

Kwon shake her head with a frown. “It wouldn’t work; our usual soldiers would feel inferior, lesser than those developed at Manticore. It would end poorly. There is also the fact that while these soldiers were created in a lab, they are still _biologically_ human. They need to eat, sleep, do everything that you and I need to do. Our country’s taxpayers would not enjoy the idea of having to not only finance this project, but then pay for their livelihood from day to day.” She takes a breath. “That being said, there are still complications with the series, specifically X5.”

“The seizures,” Junmyeon can’t help but blurt out.

Kwon’s eyes him carefully. “Yes. It’s a developmental problem that still wasn’t solved when I left. X5’s are missing a few chemicals for their brains in their DNA, thus resulting in the seizures. More of them have been terminated and used for parts than make it to the age of ten.”

Minseok rises from the couch, half the apple forgotten next to him. His face is pale and he looks… disgusted is the only word that comes to mind. “ _Terminated?_ ” He asks harshly. “You mean killed, murdered, because that’s what you’re doing. Slaughtering innocent children.”

She seems unaffected by Minseok’s outburst. “I don’t expect you to understand the complexities of this project. Either of you,” Kwon adds with a glance at Junmyeon. “Those “children” you speak of are nothing more than killers themselves. That’s what they were designed to do. To take orders and do things that people like you never could, which is to kill.”

“I think you underestimate the things I’m capable of,” he says through clenched teeth. “And if you’re so sure of this, what about Kyungsoo? I’ve known him for years and not once has he ever killed anyone, nor hurt a single person without reason.”

Kwon make a face at the name. “Manticore’s soldiers don’t have _names_ ,” She says. “They have designations.”

“X5-452,” Junmyeon says softly.

It takes another second for Kwon to react, then a look flutters across her face that makes Junmyeon narrow his eyes. “Ah. One of the escapees. X5-452 was not put under the same extensive training as most of the soldiers, that could be why. Although deep down they’re all the same. Your “friend” must just be good at repressing it. Or hiding it from you.” She seems to consider the situation, looking from Junmyeon to Minseok before a smirk forms on her face. “Is that why you’re so focused on Manticore? Because your friend got taken back?” Kwon let’s out an amused snort. “You’ll have better luck getting into the White House.”

“Why are we wasting our time on this nut job, Junmyeon?” Minseok growls out through clenched teeth. “Clearly she doesn’t care anymore about her own safety.”

Junmyeon holds up a hand, but doesn’t take his eyes off Kwon. “Tell me about your experience with genes.”

“Anything specific?” She asks with a bored tone.

“Anything you’re willing to tell us.”

Kwon let out a sigh. “As you could figure out, working for Manticore requires a special skill set. I specialized in DNA manipulation.”

Junmyeon frowns. “How can you manipulate DNA?”

She looks him over, takes in his person. “Take you, for example. You seem a little unsteady on your feet, normally one would guess you’re just naturally unbalanced but that isn’t the case.” She pause for a moment, considering. “You’re actually paraplegic, aren’t you?”

He swallows thickly. “What does my ability to walk have to do with anything?”

“Well,” Kwon starts, “with DNA manipulation one could find the parts of your makeup that affect your mobility and cut out the useless bits then rework the good bits. To put it simply. Same with your glasses. There are things in your genetic make up that say “this is so” and if you manipulate them in the right way, the flaws you have could cease to exist.”

It’s fascinating really, in a mildly disturbing way. Part of Junmyeon wants to hear more about it, but another part is sick to his stomach. “So why not do that with the kids, make it so they don’t have seizures?”

Kwon looks away with a scowl. “It’s different with a set of DNA that is entirely made up in a lab. It has negative effects.”

“Like?” Minseok pressed quietly.

“Death.”

He seems taken aback at that bluntness in Kwon’s words, but plows on. “So that means that Kyungsoo--”

“It’s possible they figured a way around it by now,” she says, “I’ve been gone a while. But my knowledge is limited to what I practiced.”

A lull falls over the room, signaling the wrap up of the conversation. Junmyeon can’t help but ask his next question though, morbid curiosity nagging him. “What do you think they’ve done to him? Manticore.”

“Anything is possible. Reprogramming, brainwashing... If his seizures are bad enough possibly harvesting his organs and whatnot. It really comes down to their developments in the years since I’ve left.” Kwon shrugs, as if unbothered by the idea, but Junmyeon has a horrible feeling forming in the pit of his stomach that requires him to leave the room with the excuse to go set up arrangements for the doctor’s safety.

 

* * *

  
  
It was to be expected, but Junmyeon is caught a little off guard when the hover drone shows up again. His car, which he had to arrange for someone to pick it up for him, ends up trashed. Dr. Kwon among the casualties in the wreckage. Well, he doesn’t have to worry about transportation to the safe house anymore. The upside to all of it is that this can’t be swept under the rug like all the rest. One of the surrounding street cameras gets the thing on video, allowing Junmyeon to get a picture of it to further back his story.

He waits a few days, a little over a week, before he makes a cable hack about it. He prepares what he’s going to say carefully, wanting this broadcast to be perfect. Minseok eyes him wearily when he mentions making it, but doesn’t say anything to change his mind. Junmyeon is aware of how dangerous this is, how much this hack can impact his life. Not many people know he’s Eyes Only, but it’s still enough that if they’re found, he could be in trouble.

“A little over a week ago, Dr. BoAh Kwon was killed just outside of sector nine thanks to a hover drone. It has been speculated for a while that Lee Corp.’s drone were back in flying order and equipped to kill on sight.” He starts his hack after the standard intro. “Dr. Kwon was a former employee of Manticore, a top secret government project, as were all the other victims of the mysterious hover drone murders. Lee Corp. is set to be taken over by the founder’s son, Taemin Lee, by the end of the year. By the looks of it, Manticore has hired him under false pretenses and the name Cora Monti to get their hands on this technology.” He ends his hack shortly thereafter and disconnects his equipment before shutting down his computer.

Minseok is giving him a worried look once he’s done and turns his chair around. “Are you sure that was smart?”

“No,” Junmyeon admits. “But we don’t have many options.”

“Kyungsoo’s gonna be furious when he gets back,” he says.

“Probably.”

A silence falls over them.

“Do you think he’s okay?” Minseok asks eventually.

Junmyeon thinks about it carefully, considers what he knows about Kyungsoo and what he’s seen him live through in the year they’ve known each other. Over the months since his disappearance, he’s been negative and skeptical but when it comes down to it, Junmyeon knows that Kyungsoo is better than the horrible thoughts his brain has been feeding him. Kyungsoo is stronger than those scenarios. “Of course,” he says confidently. “If anyone can make it through that mess, it’s got to be Kyungsoo, right?”

“Yeah,” Minseok agrees.


	3. Part 2: Vive la Révolution

Kyungsoo watches with disinterest as his fellow section-mates spar, punching and kicking at each other under the attention of The Warden, as Kyungsoo likes to call him, Yoochun Park. He eyes him with distaste out of the corner of his eye, but pretends to keep most of his attention on the two that are sparring, picking out their flaws and holes in their techniques. He doesn’t remember Yoochun from his first stint here at Manticore, but it’s become painfully clear that even if he wasn’t then, he is now _in charge_. Kyungsoo’s never been so unsettled by a person before now, but he has this effect on him. Though, that might have something to do with the repeated torture he’s put Kyungsoo through to get information.

HyunJong isn’t far behind, slowly making his way through the small training groups to Kyungsoo’s. He pases between them with his hands clasped behind his back, spine straight. Kyungsoo hates him more everyday. “452,” he says when he makes it to Kyungsoo’s unit. “What’s the verdict?”

He gives HyunJong the stink eye. “I don’t understand.”

HyunJong nods towards the two sparring still. “What’s your outside perspective on this match? Their skills?”

Kyungsoo tears his glare away from HyunJong to the two nameless X5s. “They’re predictable. Overly calculated,” he says slowly. “A real fight isn’t about calculations it’s...knowing your strength and weakness and using it to your advantage against your opponent.”

HyunJong nods gazing at the X5’s with interest. “Would you care to offer an example?” His words cause everyone to stop all movement abruptly and stare at the two of them. Kyungsoo tries not to twitch under the weight of everyone’s gaze. “I’m sure they would appreciate it.”

He wants to refuse, to tell HyunJong to shove it and teach them how to really fight himself, but he knows the consequences if he does. They’ve been through this already. “Of course, sir.” He says, unnaturally polite. He steps closer to the two that were sparring before and waves them away before looking around the group. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to fight any of them, not really, no matter how much they piss him off with their _taunting_.

“You can’t expect _him_ to be able to teach us anything useful,” one of the nameless says. X5-627, Kyungsoo thinks is his designation. Calling him that in his head makes Kyungsoo blanch, but he has no other choice. Naming them seems pointless. “You’ve been rolling in filth for years, I’m surprised we’re not all diseased by proxy.”

Kyungsoo watches him and keeps his expression perfectly blank, letting him run his mouth.

“That’s why you came back, isn’t it? Because you were just so disgusted with it out there, and those _people_.” He smirks at Kyungsoo. “Give it to us straight _Kyungsoo _,” he using the name tauntingly, “what are the humans really like?”__

Kyungsoo doesn’t bother to answer the question but glances around the group once more, quickly moving his eyes over the others. None of them seem overly interested in testing their skills against Kyungsoo, but curious as to what he could possibly show them. “Have you ever been out on the field?” He asks instead, shoving his hands into the pockets of the military issue pants all of the so called soldiers wear.

627 hesitates, clenching his hands into fists at his sides. “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

He can’t help but smirk. “Maybe, but the difference between fighting someone who is your...peer,” he says the word carefully flicking his eyes to some of his section-mates then back, “and someone who is not is a bit of a shock the first dozen or so times. All of you fight the same way. Everyone out there? They all have their own skills and weakness, strengths they can count on. People out there aren’t afraid to fight dirty.”

“And you think you’re so much better than us?” 627 sneers. “The boy who ran away when he was ten?”

Kyungsoo merely shrugs. “Maybe, maybe not. Why don’t you prove it?”

He sees the guy’s lunge seconds before it actually happens, allowing Kyungsoo to shift out of the way as his body comes hurtling towards him to knock him over. Before the guy, this brat, can turn around Kyungsoo kicks him in the back of the leg, causing him to fall to his knees. “You know for superior soldiers you all have obvious ticks before you make a move.” He’s sure the kid is plotting something, but Kyungsoo takes a few steps toward him, making him believe he’ll get the upper hand.

As predicted, a hand grabs his ankle, wrapping around the worn leather of his boot, yanking his leg out from under him. Kyungsoo braces himself for impact, stiffening his body before it connects with the sparring mat on the ground. It rattles him a little bit, but he’s able to recover quickly, used to taking harder hits than this and having to get up right away. He only blinks up at the face that hovers above his own when 627 straddles his hips, grabbing a fist full of his shirt.

“You think you’re so much better than us, all because you had a taste of that so called freedom,” he hisses at Kyungsoo, keeping his voice low in hopes that Yoochun and HyunJong won’t hear. “But being out there, rolling in filth with those normals, makes you no better than them.”

It’d be a lie if Kyungsoo said he was expecting the fist in his ribs, but it knocks out his breath, causing him to wheeze ever so slightly. Even out of breath, though, Kyungsoo manages to roll them both partially to the side, grabbing hold of the wrist closest to his face. He keeps his grip light, weak in appearance while making it appear as if he’s struggling to make his lungs work properly again.

627 smirks and speaks at a normal volume when he says, “It appears that 452 isn’t as good as he thinks he is.”

Kyungsoo glances over his shoulder and sees Yoochun’s considering look coupled with HyunJong’s frown. When he looks back at 627 there’s nothing but confidence radiating off of him. “Give it up, 452. We’ve had more training than you, are better than you’ll ever be. You’ll always be second best. I guess it doesn’t matter though, it’s not like they’ll ever put you in the field again, not with how much of a flight ris—”

He cuts 627 off, making him yell out in pain by tightening his grip on the wrist and _yanking_ it, twisting as far as he can, taking the rest of the arm with him. His body propels off of Kyungsoo’s own, following his hand in the unnatural direction it’s going, letting out an endless stream of sounds. Kyungsoo lets 627’s arm go and gets back to his feet, looking down at him with interest as he cradles his wrist.

“I thought you were better than me?” Kyungsoo says. “Surely that is nothing to someone so _superior_.”

His cries turn into soft mumbles before he glares up at Kyungsoo. “I’m going to kill you.”

Kyungsoo can’t help but snort. “Unlikely. You’re too full of yourself and your illusion of being so much better that it makes you weak.” He glances around at the others, noticing how they’ve all taken a step back and look at him with guarded eyes now. Ridiculous. “You also talk too much. Blabbing away in a fight out there will get you killed.”

He goes to walk away, purposely taking a step over 627, to see if he’ll try anything but is almost disappointed when he doesn’t.

“Impressive, 452,” Yoochun says when he reaches the circling group of people. “I was worried your exposure had made you soft but clearly there is nothing to worry about.” He smiles at HyunJong, emotion never reaching her eyes. “Your kids never fail to impress me, HyunJong.”

Behind him, someone takes care of 627, escorting him to the infirmary, but Kyungsoo and HyunJong don’t look away from where Yoochun has taken off to, possibly headed to eat the hearts of small children to maintain his youthful look.

“I spend more time thinking he’s plotting my murder than actually complimenting me,” HyunJong says under his breath.

Kyungsoo glances at him from the corner of his eye then back to where Yoochun disappeared to. “Waste of a compliment, using it on you.”

HyunJong doesn’t respond, only sighs and rubs a weary hand over his face. “I have something I need to discuss with you.”

“You mean the rieling up of other freaks doesn’t fill my quota for interaction with you for the day?” He snips. “Darn, and here I was hoping I’d be able to have a peaceful afternoon.” He follows anyway. Kyungsoo almost prefers this company than to the entitled shits of his section. Almost.

“Yoochun’s been considering a mission for you. He thinks it’ll be the perfect test to see if you’re ‘back on the team’ as he likes to call it.” He leads Kyungsoo to his office which is strangely well lived in; it throws Kyungsoo for a loop.

He glances around the room, trying to keep this under the illusion of casual. “And why tell me about it? I figured you’d either be highly opposed to allow me the chance of running away again or gungho about testing your _greatest creation_.“

HyunJong sits heavily behind his desk and lets out a sigh. “The mission entails some...very sensitive factors.”

That gains Kyungsoo’s attention. “You should either tell me or stop wasting our time.”

“It’s hard to know what was done to you when you first returned here. Clearly you still have this idea of self you developed when you were a child but I have no idea if pieces of that are missing.”

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes and sits down in one of the guest chairs. “What’s this about HyunJong?”

He looks at Kyungsoo for a long time, seeming to consider the person before him. “What do you remember from your time out there?”

This throws Kyungsoo off, stealing his breath more than the punch to the ribs did. He rubs the spot anyway, to draw suspicion of how much it affects him away. “Um, I remember wandering a lot. The pulse. Meeting Min--my best friend in LA, traveling through California with him. I remember ending up in Seattle a few years ago. My shit job, can’t forget that.” He squints, looking unseeingly at HyunJong’s desk. “I remember...Donghae showing up and that mess. He died. I...” Kyungsoo trails off.

“How?”

He licks his lips. “You know how. He was shot in the head.”

“Do you remember who--”

Kyungsoo lets out a frustrated growl and glares at HyunJong. “If this is about you being worried for me, don’t be. Shit happened this year, terrible things but they’re not my fault. Donghae’s death is not on me, and therefore I’m not bothered by it. I’m _fine_.”

He purses his lips but says no more on the subject matter. “The mission is for the good of Manticore. Yoochun believes that there’s is a threat to our well being and he wants it eliminated.”

“Fine.”

HyunJong pulls out a file from his desk and opens it. “You’ll spend the next week being prepared for the mission then be deployed first thing Monday morning. It’s a long-term field mission so Yoochun has given you permission to assume your previous identity.”

“Previous implies that I have another one.”

He glances up from the file at Kyungsoo. “I’m speaking in a technical sense.” He waits for another comment, but Kyungsoo chooses not to speak. “You’ll be stationed back in Seattle, so she’s come up with a story to explain your absence to your job and landlord--”

“I lived with my friend, we were squatters.”

HyunJong scowls at this and looks through the file. “I see. Well, we can find you--”

“No.”

“No?”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “I work at a shitty messenger job, there’s no way in hell I can afford a decent apartment, and I don’t want you to give me one. I’m living where I was before and that’s final.”

HyunJong doesn’t appear to approve of this, but lets the subject go. “You’re to check in once a week until the mission is complete, but Yoochun requests that you do it as soon as possible. If you go over the month long mark he’s bringing you in for reevaluation each time to ensure you’re still working on the mission.”

“Lovely.” He stands from his chair and shoves his hands into his pockets. “We done here?” Without waiting for a response, Kyungsoo heads for the door.

“One more thing,” he says as Kyungsoo turns the knob. “We’re giving you a partner for this assignment.”

He turns around to face HyunJong, frowning. “Partner?” As he says this, the door opens and someone else steps in the room, smirking at Kyungsoo when he turns around.

“452, this is X5-494, he’ll be working with you closely for the next few weeks.”

Kyungsoo glances from HyunJong to the other person in the room with disbelief.

494 looks Kyungsoo over from head to toe then back up, settling on his face. “You’re shorter than I imagined,” is the first thing the soldier, the man--no _child _, for he can’t be older than Kyungsoo--says. “There are stories about you, among the others, tales they would tell each other as children. They build you up to be this amazing, hulking figure.”__

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes, but doesn’t move a muscle even though he wishes to take a step back, get a better look at the other.

“But it’s kinda disappointing seeing you in the flesh.”

“Sorry I couldn’t live up to my reputation,” he bites.

494 shrugs, the moment causing his shoulders to roll back almost carelessly. His posture is loose and relaxed as he steps from in front of Kyungsoo and out of the doorway and farther into HyunJong’s office. He takes a seat in the chair Kyungsoo had previously vacated, sprawling out, long limbs stretching before him. “I’m sure we’ll have plenty of time for you to prove if you’re as good as they say.”

Kyungsoo has no idea who _they_ are, but he’s not very interested. He turns his glare back onto HyunJong, hands clenched at his sides. “There was no mention of a partner when you proposed this--”

“The mission isn’t optional, 452,” he snaps back. “You seem to forget that things don’t work the same way in here as they do out there, but when you’re given an order you’re expected to follow it.”

He stalks to HyunJong’s desk, nearly slamming his hands down on the top with a resounding boom in the room. “No,” Kyungsoo says, “I haven’t forgotten. I never forgot, not even 10 years away from this hell could change that.” He watches HyunJong carefully, taking in the practiced calm in his face, the way he doesn’t even move when facing Kyungsoo head on. Behind him, he can feel 494, still sitting in that chair, but wound slightly tighter than when he sashayed in the room. “If I have to do your dirty work for you, it’s going to be on my terms.”

It’s then that he sighs, bodying going lax in his chair in a way that Kyungsoo had never thought possible for HyunJong. He suddenly looks so tired. Older than his usual appearance and air of confidence portray. “When Yoochun handed me the first copy of this mission assignment there was a whole detail assigned to you. You had an entire team meant to watch your every move, keep you in line. While Yoochun is using this mission to test you, he does not trust you at all.”

“Good, he shouldn’t,” Kyungsoo says.

HyunJong clenches his jaw. “I fought with him for weeks on changing a few details, one of them being how many people were assigned to you.” He nods at 494. “This was his compromise. 494 is the best in his unit, highest rank so far in psyops. We’ve been trying to figure out a mission to send him on for months before you got here, this was the best of both.”

Kyungsoo didn’t like this from the start, but now he likes it even less. He’s never been in contact with any of the psyops kids, there wasn’t even a section for that kind of stuff in his age group when he was last here, but it puts his hairs on edge.

“Relax 452,” 494 says, causing Kyungsoo to glance back over his shoulder. There’s still a tightness about him, something small wound up, but he’s back to his previous sprawl in the chair. “I promise to stay out of your hair. You’ll be in charge 100% of the way.”

He keeps his eyes on 494 for a moment longer before turning. “What’s his story?” He asks HyunJong. “He can’t stay with me. I already have a roommate.”

His concerns get waved off. “Not important as of the moment. You’ll find out in due time.”

“Just like the other details of this mission? Like who the supposed threat is?”

HyunJong only sighs once more, closing his eyes as he tips his chair back a bit. “I can’t reveal that much to you at this given time. There will be a pre-mission briefing Monday morning before we ship you out, but until then all further details are classified.”

Kyungsoo clicks his tongue but pushes himself away from HyunJong’s desk and makes his way to the door, leaving without a backwards glances. Nothing about this sits right with him, he just wishes he could do something about it beforehand rather than wait around to see what happens then act as accordingly as possible.

 

*

 

The better part of the week has been spent watching 494 go through solo drills, training up his body for the mission just because he can. Kyungsoo isn’t that impressed. He supposes that when you have nothing to better to do all your life, working out and training is the best hobby you’ll ever have. The effort pays off though, he’ll admit, while he doesn’t believe 494 has anything on Kyungsoo himself, the kid is better than half of the other kids in this living hell so it’s not all for nothing. Regardless, though, watching the endless sets of push ups and crunches and pull ups is mind numbing.

This was supposed to be “bonding” time, whatever that is, resulting in the two of being placed in a special coupling unit. The grounds of Manticore have always been large to an almost alarming scale, but there are sections like this one that weren’t there ten years ago. Kyungsoo fears that given time, Manticore will become it’s own town. It takes the oppressive feeling the walls of Manticore have always given off to a whole new level. He feels as if he’s a mouse trapped in a maze.

Even now, in their own little section of the ground as Kyungsoo watches 494 go through the rigorous solo training, Kyungsoo feels suffocated. It’s worse than he could possibly imagine because he knows that in less than twenty-four hours he’ll be outside again. Free, or at least living in the illusion of it. Already, he plans on not coming back, not permanently anyway, but not at all if he can well and truly help it. He doesn’t know how yet, but ideas are churning in his head, the problem is he doesn’t know anything about this mission, which makes planning for himself difficult.

“Do you know what this mission is?” he finds himself asking 494, fiddling with a pocket on his military issued pants, pulling at the threads.

494 doesn’t stop what he’s doing, but he does change the position he’s facing, angling himself towards Kyungsoo as he starts another set of crunches. “No, they said we’d be told before we were sent out.”

He doesn’t huff, but it’s a near thing. “And what are your solo details? I know you’re supposed to babysit me, but while I’m keeping up appearances what are you supposed to do?”

494 shrugs after another set of ten, sitting up fully to take a rest from his workout.

“Did they at least give you a name?”

“Sehun Oh,” 494 says before taking a swig from a nearby water bottle.

Finally, some form of information. “Is that an assumed name? Stolen from some poor guy, or is it made up?” Kyungsoo isn’t sure why he cares, but there’s very little information for him to look at the details of so he’s got to work with what he’s given.

494—Sehun—pauses to consider this before meeting Kyungsoo’s gaze with a slight scowl. “I—they said it wasn’t stolen. They weren’t lying.”

“How do you know?”

Sehun smirks. “I have my ways.”

At this Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and snorts. He moves on instead of asking what the hell that means. “What are you going to do, when you’re on your own out there?”

Sehun picks himself up off the floor to stand and makes his way towards Kyungsoo casually, who sits atop a stack of sparring mats. “You heard what _Sergent Kim_ said,” he remarks snidely. “I’ve never been out of this place.” It’s in this moment that he looks small and vulnerable, or as small as anyone of Sehun’s height can look. It’s almost laughable, considering. “I’m just gonna do my thing. As long as I get the job done and keep an eye on you, they don’t care.”

“Figures you get all the freedom,” Kyungsoo sighs.

Sehun smirks at him before taking another sip of his water. “If only you weren’t such a risky asset to the team, maybe you’d get some leeway.”

“Maybe,” Kyungsoo replies. “But then there’d be no challenge in my work.” Really though, Kyungsoo would rather be considered a flight risk than a mindless soldier like the rest of them. Sehun doesn’t seem too bad, but even still, he’s no different than the others in his section. Kyungsoo is nothing like these people, and these people are nothing like him. He’s not a solider, or a tool to be used whenever someone calls upon him. He wishes he weren’t the only one to see it this way, but everyone else with that mindset is dead. Donghae made sure of that.

As Sehun gets back to his workout, Kyungsoo comes to a decision. Not only is he not going to return to Manticore, but he’s going to destroy it for good. It’s a risky plan in itself, given all the factors and lack of details in his current situation, but somehow, he’ll make it happen.

But that leaves the question of what to do with the other like him? In the end, he supposes it comes down to how he destroys Manticore. He hates the thought of leaving the others to die as well, but what if it’s for the best?

In a deep, possibly ingrained part of himself, Kyungsoo believes that maybe none of them should exist. Maybe Donghae had the right idea in killing the others that escaped. Kyungsoo could finish the job if he really wanted to.

There’s hundreds of them, including himself, on the ground currently, but God knows how many out there on missions right now. He could find out who is on a mission and where somehow, take out Manticore, then go on a manhunt for the rest of them and then…

Then what? Kyungsoo would be the only one left, then what would he do? He could live out the rest of his life freely if he wanted, but at that point what would be the point? He’ll always be the _freak_ in the end, never really belonging with people out in the world or the collection of transgenics in here, so what does that leave him with?

He doesn’t really think he could do it in the end, though. Kyungsoo couldn’t even kill Donghae when it came down to it. He was ready to die instead of hold up a gun in general, let alone to kill someone he considered family.

No, that isn’t an option at all. He’ll take down Manticore and let out all the others. Some of the other transgenics are shitty people, but the world is a shitty place too, and everyone deserves a chance to have a life. It’s not his place to decide who or who doesn’t get to live.

For now he’ll worry about the mission and how to work his way around it and its sketchy details. He doesn’t trust Yoochun or HyunJong in the least, but he’ll play along for the time being, until he knows how to get the ball rolling.

 

*

 

The following morning comes and they get shipped off with little fanfare.

Kyungsoo wakes just before sunrise, staring at the ceiling of his sleeping quarters in the coupling unit. On the outside he’s fine, skin full of color, no sign of tiredness, but inside Kyungsoo can’t help but feel slow and sluggish. It’s probably in his head, these off kilter feelings, fueled by the heavy build of dread in his stomach but it’s there regardless.

Sehun is down right _chipper_ , it’s disgusting. He supposes that the blissful ignorance of never having been outside Manticore’s grounds for anything other than special training in the woods would result in this, but Kyungsoo can’t help but feel sorry for him. This kid has no idea what it’s like out there, big cities like Seattle almost worse off than smaller areas. In here it’s almost as if The Pulse never happened, forever at a standstill while simultaneously moving towards the future.

The upside to this whole charade is that Kyungsoo has his clothes back. Well not his clothes, his were lost sometime after he ended up in the hospital. It’s a shame really, he liked those pants, but this isn’t half bad. The worn leather jacket they gave him is nothing to frown upon. The inside is lined with a soft material and it feels nice against his skin. He thinks he’ll keep it once he finds a way to not have to come back.

Next to him, Sehun stands in his own casual clothing, skin tight jeans and a pair of chucks. He’s got on a simple sweatshirt, unlike Kyungsoo. The outfit makes him look his age, whatever that is. Kyungsoo is assuming somewhere around 18, which should be fine for him to get a job and take care of himself. Kyungsoo sure as hell not going to do it.

“Gentlemen,” Yoochun says brightly once he enters his office. They’ve been standing there for ten minutes while HyunJong sits in the lone chair as if he’s better than them, therefore deserves it. “It’s wonderful to see you this morning, you two look lively.” Without waiting for a response he sits behind his desk and opens the mission file. “I suppose you’ve been itching to find out about this assignment. As HyunJong has told you, there is a threat, be that as minor as it is, to our well being.”

Kyungsoo isn’t sure how he does it, but he manages not to snort.

“Now, as head of our fine establishment,” he’s really testing him today, “it’s my job to decide what to overlook and what to take care of, and then how to do so. I believe that you two are perfect for this job.” He pauses for dramatic effect.

“I hate to rush you,” Kyungsoo says, loosening his body from military stance. The movement makes his back twinge just slightly, protesting at the lack of change from such a stiff position for so long. “But if we’re trying to keep suspicion off of _me_ you need to move this along because I have a job to get to and Ryeowook is anal about being on time.”

Yoochun smiles at him, the falseness makes his skin crawl. “Yes of course, how silly of me.” He pulls out a picture, a print, it seems, from a video recording? “This man has been somehow informed of our existence and is now trying to tell the world. So far next to nothing has come of it, but it’s only a matter of time before people begin to snoop. With the sudden exposure of Lee Corp., which he is responsible for, we have to take precautions about our allies.”

Part of Kyungsoo wants to ask, curious about Lee Corp. and their involvement with Manticore. He remembers the company, vaguely, from when he was young.The hover drones roaming the city were the bane of his existence for a couple of years. “You realize there is nothing to go off of in the picture, don’t you?”

There’s a hard set to Yoochun’s mouth, not quite a frown, but the cheerful facade he held is completely vanished. “Yes, we’re not entirely sure who this man is just yet, which is where you come in.”

“Me,” he says incredulously. “What the hell am I supposed to do with a nameless, faceless man that you know nothing about. He could be anyone in the whole city. Do you know how many people live in Seattle? Approximately 650,000. And better yet how do you know he’s in Seattle?”

Yoochun levels him with an unimpressed look. “Thank you, 452.” Kyungsoo does his damnedest not to huff at having his concerns being brushed aside. “What we do know about this man is that he assumes the identity called Eyes Only and has regular cable hacks roughly once a day, which are designated only to the city of Seattle. That should narrow down your search, shouldn’t it?”

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes, ignoring the nudge in the back of his brain at the name. It feels familiar somehow, but he’s never heard it before, which is odd given how long he’s lived in the city, surely he would’ve noticed something before then. Heard something at some point. “Not really, but if that’s all you know then I guess I’ll have to deal with it.” He sighs and puts his hands in his jacket pockets. “That it? I’ve got places to go and people to see, and it’s still a long flight from Wyoming to Seattle.”

He can see Yoochun is refraining himself from lashing out at him, it fills him with some sense of muted joy. It was a common game they played when Yoochun was torturing him when he first came back. Why bother with reprogramming, he has said, when we can just play until you tell me something useful. It was as much of a game for Kyungsoo as it was for Yoochun. Constant goading and smart remarks to wind him up until he lashed out at Kyungsoo. Most of his time those first few weeks is a blur of snippy comments and pain, but he knows that Yoochun was just as frustrated during that time as he was, so he considers it a job well done.

“Remember to update once a week,” he says after a few minutes of silence. “I’ll be sending for you both in a month’s time if the situation is not resolved for a hands on evaluation, then we will repeat the process the following month.”

“ _Wonderful,_ ” he snarks.

“You’ll be given any necessary documentation just before you land in Washington. Transportation will be provided up until that point, then you need to find your own way into the city.” Kyungsoo wants to ask how far out of the city they’ll be, but he can already see Yoochun’s weak patience is already gone with him, so he keeps his mouth shut and waits for him to dismiss them.

They board the small, private plane not too longer after that, and by quarter to seven in the morning, they’re off in the air. Kyungsoo sits tensely away from any Manticore detail, HyunJong and Sehun as possible, going over what he knows in his head and trying to formulate a plan. He’s got three hours, surely he can come up with something.

 

*

 

It’s weird, Kyungsoo thinks the moment he steps off the shuttle bus in South Market. The hussle of people, the noises. This is home, in some warped sense of a way, and Kyungsoo wouldn’t trade it for anything. Most likely.

Getting to JamPony is easy enough for him from there on out, but it’s making that last step through the threshold of the place that’s hard. He hates it so much, but Kyungsoo’s become oddly attached after all this time. It was his first honest job, and while he gives Ryeowook a hard time, he knows he was damn lucky to have it.

Crumpling the “doctor’s” note in his pocket, Kyungsoo forces himself to go inside, walking confidently up to Ryeowook’s counter, ready for the spiel he’s going to get.

“Look what the cat finally dragged in,” if the first thing he hears.

Kyungsoo can’t fight the smile off his face. “Nice to see you too, Wook, hope you didn’t miss me too much.” But before he can add anything to that, he sees Minseok and can't help the sheepish way he smiles at the sight of him, nerves building in his stomach and making him want to run. It's weird to have that sort of reaction to Minseok, he's had so many different ones but never this endless worry and unease. The look on his face doesn't make it better and Kyungsoo is beginning to regret coming in at this time. "You look like you've seen a ghost," he manages to say, trying to keep the situation lighthearted.

Minseok lets out this awkward huff of a laugh and it puts Kyungsoo's fears at bay. "You might as well be."

Kyungsoo shrugs, keeping his hands firmly placed in his jacket pockets. "Gotta keep you on your toes, you know."

Neither of them move for a solid minute, seconds ticking by agonizingly slow. Kyungsoo feels sick with nerves, anxiety building in his stomach. He's torn between wanting to flee and wanting to pull Minseok in for a long overdue hug. He'd never say it out loud but he's missed Minseok like an amputated limb.

"How do I know it's really you and not some fake or-or that you're brainwashed?" Minseok takes a few steps closer to Kyungsoo despite his words. "This could all be a trick."

He bites his lip and forces himself to not look away, keeping eye contact as he mulls the question over. "Honestly?" Kyungsoo asks, voice weak as he lets his terror of Minseok's possible rejection seep through. "You don't. I don't. I-" he blinks slowly, taking a deep breath. "Anything is possible with them but I'd like to think that because I remember you means I'm really me, Minseok." He clenches his fists in his pockets. "There's no chance in hell they'd just selectively keep you around up here," he says pulling a shaking hand from his pocket and tapping the side of his head. “You're considered useless to them." Kyungsoo hates talking about this, about _them_ in public but this conversation could honestly make or break him so he tries to power through. "I just. I need you to trust me Minseok. Please."

Minseok stares at him, takes his appearance in before closing the distance between them and pulling Kyungsoo in for a hug, holding onto him tightly and Kyungsoo does what comes naturally and squeezes back, burying his face into Minseok's neck. "That haircut looks horrible," he hears Minseok mutter and Kyungsoo can't help the choked off laugh that escapes him. He’s missed Minseok immensely and this hug, more than anything else, is like homecoming to him.

“This is all heartwarming,” Ryeowook says bitterly causing the two to pull apart, “really. But last I checked you,” he points to Minseok, “have a job to do. And you,” he glares at Kyungsoo, “have missed months of work. Technically, you don’t have a job anymore and are trespassing on my property.”

Kyungsoo glances around the place, taking in all the familiar sights and people. Nothing's changed a bit. “I’m you’re most reliable messenger though,” he says with a small smirk. “You’d be lost without me.”

Ryeowook huffs and rolls his eyes, yanking the headset from off his head and letting it rest around his neck. “I have managed perfectly fine since you disappeared, I can handle things without you.”

Some of the other messengers gather around, circling behind Kyungsoo and Minseok while Chanyeol pushes his way to the front, still all long limbs and endless energy, causing him to bound right into Kyungsoo and pulling him into a crushing hug without even stopping. “I’ve missed you so much,” he says, sounding near close to tears, but his face is perfectly dry once Chanyeol removes himself. “You can’t dismiss Kyungsoo,” he argues. “The past few months have been a nightmare and you know it. He delivers the most packages, knows all the shortcuts around the city and don’t forget about that time with the package mix up.”

He crosses his arms, giving Chanyeol and unimpressed look. “You mean that mix up that was your fault?”

“Listen,” Chanyeol says, raising his hands placatingly. “That was only _half_ my fault, and I have taken my share of the responsibility.”

“I almost ended up dead!”

He shrugs. “Well maybe if you didn’t entrust important packages to some of us, you wouldn’t have been in that situation.”

Ryeowook lets out a sigh and rubs at the bridge of his nose, Kyungsoo can see the headache forming on him already and takes a small amount of joy from it and tucks it away deep inside himself for later. “Everything that just came out of your mouth did not help in the least.”

“I have more reasons if you’d like.”

Kyungsoo sighs and pats Chanyeol on the arm. “I can fight my own battles, but thanks.”

“Don’t you all have work to do? All of you, leave. Get out.” Ryeowook shoos them off but waves for Kyungsoo to come closer. “You better have a good reason for being out. Maybe then I’ll consider letting you have your job back.”

He raises an eyebrow, giving Ryeowook a skeptical look. “What, do I have to grovel?”

“Well, I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea,” he shrugs.

Kyungsoo stares him down for a moment before pulling the crumpled doctor’s note out of his pocket and shoving it at him. “When I was a kid,” he starts off carefully, “I suffered from some minor epilepsy, had seizures. It went away for a while, figured I grew out of it. Those past few weeks before I disappeared they started up again, a lot worse than when I was a kid.” He glances up at Ryeowook’s face from across the pick up counter between them, trying to gauge his reaction. “The thing about seizures and epilepsy is there’s no real cure.” Kyungsoo wants to laugh at how true that was for his case. As a child, his options for a cure were being dragged away and used as spare parts. The thought still gives him chills.

He curls his hands into fits and shoves them back into his jacket. “I had an accident on my way to the hospital that day and, well,” he shrugs, not sure what to say.

Ryeowook looks down at the crumpled doctor’s note, frown etched into his face. “That’s not what I was expecting, honestly.” He looks like his world view has been shifted and he suddenly doesn’t know how to handle it. “I’ve been fed so much crap about why you were gone, I figured it would be another lame excuse.”

“I had surgery for it not too long after. There isn’t a full guarantee that surgery will work so I spent a lot of time recovering and being tested to make sure everything was okay.” He reaches a hand up to rub self consciously at his closely cut hair.

“And?” Ryeowook prompts, folding the note in half.

Kyungsoo shrugs. “Haven’t had a seizure since, all my tests were coming back fine so they let me go. Only time will tell now really.”

The sigh Ryeowook lets out is long and tired. “We can’t do this again, if you’re sick, really sick, we need to do this by the book. I can’t have you dropping off the planet like that.” He sets Kyungsoo with a stern look. “I have survived without you here, but Chanyeol was right when he said you’re one of my best messengers—not that I’ll ever say those words out loud again. But I have to give you the same treatment I give the rest of them.”

“What are you saying?” Kyungsoo knows very well what is being said, but he figures letting Ryeowook get everything he has to say off his chest will make him feel better.

“You can keep your old job,” he says dejectedly. “But don’t think that means I’m gonna let you do whatever you want. There are rules in this place of business and I expect you to follow them. And that goes for the rest of you as well!” He adds with a shout, glaring at messengers who pass by.

“You say this,” Chanyeol chimes in, “but you never follow through with your threats. I think someone is overcompensating.”

Kyungsoo laughs outright at this, earning himself a glare in his direction and it makes the situation even funnier. “Back to work, all of you,” Ryeowook says with a huff, shoving a package into Kyungsoo’s hands along with a sign off sheet. “You know the drill, no signature, no package. Out.”

He gladly takes the items and makes his way over to the lockers where Minseok is sitting on one of the benches, watching him with a guarded but kind smile. “Sure has been quiet without you around.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo says and bites his lip before sitting down next to Minseok. “I never got to tell you that I was sorry, about before.” He fiddles with the paper of the package. “I didn’t tell you the whole truth and I let you believe what you wanted then took my anger out on you when I knew I shouldn't have.”

Minseok doesn’t move, just returns his gaze unblinkingly. This expressionless Minseok worries Kyungsoo, makes his stomach roll with nerves, but he feels he deserves it, after all he did put Minseok through a lot of crap, and then the worry he must have gone through when Kyungsoo disappeared.

“And I’m sorry for worrying you, for disappearing,” he adds as an afterthought. “There’s so much that I’m sorry for, and I feel that if I list it all and keep saying how sorry I am, it’ll never be enough. There will always be something else, but it doesn’t change the fact that I am sorry.”

For a long time, Minseok doesn’t say anything and Kyungsoo is afraid that he isn’t going to, that everything that has happened is beyond repairable and he has to live with it. He can hear Ryeowook getting huffy on the other side of the room, something about slackers and while Kyungsoo logically knows that he should get to work he’s completely focused on this. On Minseok, nerves eating away at him.

“I’m always going to worry about you, Kyungsoo,” Minseok says finally, expressionless facade fading away to reveal every emotion that Minseok has been storing away these past few months. It nearly breaks Kyungsoo’s heart. “There’s no helping it really, comes with the responsibility of friendship I guess, especially with someone like you.”

“I’m trying to find an insult in that somewhere, but all I’m hearing is compliments,” he jokes weakly, corner of his mouth lifting up into a ghost of a smile. Minseok shoves at him, rolling his eyes. “We good?” Kyungsoo can’t help but ask.

Minseok nods and smiles weakly. “I’m always gonna have your back, even when I’m angry at you.”

“Same,” he says and bumps his fist against Minseok’s when he holds up his hand.

 

*

 

Kyungsoo tentatively enters the apartment. Nothing looks that different than before, maybe a little cleaner in some parts, new rug, brighter lamp, but it still feels like home. Part of him is terrified that this is all just a dream and he’ll wake up back in Manticore at any moment, the other part curses at this illusion of freedom, but he tries to roll with the punches as best as he can.

“Oh baby,” he coos when he sees his motorcycle off to the far side of the room and immediately heads over there. “I’ve missed you so much.” Kyungsoo caresses the sleek and shiny body of his bike, admiring the way the paint reflects his face back at him. He reaches down and turns the small key that resides in the ignition, and nearly melts when it purrs to life. “Music to my ears.”

“Do you two need a minute?” Minseok asks with a smirk. “I can come back.”

Laughing, Kyungsoo shakes his head and turns the motorcycle back off. “I used to hate this place but it’s enlightening to come back from Manticore and have it still here, just the way I left it and ready to welcome me back.” He looks around in awe, not sure how to take it all in.

“Well,” Minseok strides over to the couch and takes a seat. “You’ll be happy to know that nothing has changed, at all. Even Shindong.”

He groans and flops next to Minseok. “That I could deal without, but you know it’s better than solider brats.”

“I bet.”

They sit in companionable silence, the sound of their breathing being the only thing filling up space. Kyungsoo almost forgot what it was like to be squatting, how shabby some of these buildings could look without the upkeep. Months in pristine, perfect walls will do that he supposes. His regular resting quarters weren’t that impressive. No better than a jail cell really, just a little bit more privacy to be honest. But this apartment, with all it’s flaws, is perfect.

“What was it like?” Minseok asks eventually, voice barely above a whisper.

And that’s the million dollar question isn’t it? _What was it like?_

Kyungsoo wishes he could put it into words, could describe what a hell like that really is. Not to Minseok exactly, but in general. He’s at war with himself constantly, trying to rationalize what happened, reminding himself over and over again that this is reality, he is really here and going back to Manticore really happened, but at the same time being in this apartment once more makes the past four months seem as if they were a dream.

He licks his lips and keeps his eyes trained on the floor, counting the specks in the wood, the imperfections. “What are you asking about exactly? My everyday life? The torture?”

Minseok stiffens next to him and Kyungsoo suddenly regrets saying anything. “Torture? They really did that?”

“Hard to say,” he says with a shrug. “My memory of the first few weeks is a bit fuzzy.” The entire time was torture really, but it was a different brand than the actual shit that Kyungsoo knows goes on there. “Yoochun tried to get information out of me at some point. He wasn’t very successful.”

“Who’s that?”

Kyungsoo curls and uncurls his fingers against his thighs before shoving himself off the couch to pace the room, finding himself unable to sit still. “He’s kinda the head honcho. I don’t know many of the details, they’re not exactly the chatty bunch, but he’s clearly in charge. Maybe he always has been, but I don’t remember him from back in the day.”

He can hear Minseok’s breathing, the slow but unsteady way it passes through his lungs. “And he’s the one who...?”

“Sometimes.” Kyungsoo shrugs and stops next to his bike, looking down at the glossy paint. “Sometimes it was doctors, or scientists on staff. Faces kind of blurred. I only really remember him, he was pretty constant.”

“That’s fucked up.”

He lets out a small laugh. “Manticore’s just full of rainbows and sunshine isn’t it?”

Kyungsoo waits for the next big question, the one he knows Minseok really wants to ask that he won’t be able to answer no matter how much he wants to. “How’d you escape?”

He closes his eyes against his own reflection and bites his lip. What a joke he is right now, here he is back where he belongs. Really _belongs_ , not some sterile lab with white walls, but with people who have drives and ambitions, feelings. He’s here but even so he’s still tied back to that hell, free without actually being free. Kyungsoo’s like a dog chained up in the backyard, allowed to roam and do as he pleases until he reaches the end of that chain and chokes himself.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he whispers. “Maybe later.” Maybe never.

Minseok’s quiet for a long time and eventually the couch shifts and groans, but Kyungsoo doesn’t move. “You don’t have to tell me anything,” he says, voice low and soft between them. “I’m just glad you’re home.” He presses a hand to Kyungsoo shoulder then slips away into his room, leaving Kyungsoo with his bike and his thoughts.

 

*

 

It's rather easy to fall back into the life Kyungsoo lead before, well, everything. He goes to work, hangs out at Crash, roams the city at night, everything is as it should be. It's that thought that hurts Kyungsoo the most, because while he can fall into that easy grove of before there's this constant nag in the back of his head, day after day, reminding him of why he's really out here again. His _mission_ burns brightly in his mind, a constantly reminder that his days could quite possibly be numbered.

He's trying hard to not let it get to him.

"Don't you think you should slow down?" Minseok says, shooting him a worried glance as Kyungsoo downs the rest of his beer. He's on his fourth of the evening and currently doesn't have any intention of stopping, chasing that sweet release of drunkenness to forget reality for just a moment. "You're gonna put yourself back into the hospital."

Kyungsoo shrugs as he watches Chanyeol's back as he makes his way to the bar for a new pitcher. "Not really feeling a buzz," he says, "I metabolize it too fast."

"Hmm," Minseok replies. "Doesn't mean you should try to drink yourself into a stupor."

Logically he knows Minseok is right, but that yearning to forget sits heavy in his heart. "I'll be fine." He flashes a smile at Minseok, taking joy in the way he rolls his eyes. "I have you to take care of me after all."

"Maybe I'll leave you to fend for yourself for once." It's a joke for both of them really, given the given. Kyungsoo's always been the one to take care of Minseok since the beginning. It's only recently have the roles been reversed. Kyungsoo tries not to let it bother him, but his self sufficient ways run too deep. In the days since his return though, they two of them are trying to be more open about everything, a constantly push and pull with full reliance on each other. Kyungsoo doesn't know what Minseok got up to while he was at Manticore, but Minseok seems to hold himself on his own better than before. It both warms Kyungsoo's heart and sends a cold spike of dread through him.

He's back to scanning the crowd, watching Chanyeol's trek back to their table with the pitcher when something catches his eye. He narrows his eyes and lets his vision focus on that one spot to get a better look and Kyungsoo's blood runs cold at what he sees.

In the distance, before he lets his vision shift back, Kyungsoo sees Sehun smirk.

Carefully he averts his attention and sets his glass on their claimed table. Chanyeol is going on about something with Minseok now that he's returned, but Kyungsoo can't be bothered to tune into the conversation.

While it's overly easy to fall back into the grove it's moments like that that Kyungsoo knows his life will never be the same, not unless he can get rid of Manticore once and for all.

His silence seems to gather Minseok's attention, causing him to shoot Kyungsoo a worried look and ask, "Are you okay?"

He forces a smile. "Yeah. Not feeling too hot all of a sudden, I guess you were right." Kyungsoo watches as a frown etches itself onto Minseok's face, concern lining his entire being. "Don't worry about it. I'll just get a glass of water and lay off the booze for the night." What he really wants to do is down an entire bottle of whisky now, but that would probably make Minseok worry even more.

Before Minseok can get a word in edgewise, Kyungsoo gets up from the table and heads downstairs toward the bar to get water. He knows that there's a high chance he'll get ambushed like this, but he'd rather it be one on one than with an audience of the people he's closest to.

Kyungsoo places himself at the middle of the bar, trying to lessen his chances at a confrontation of any sort but he keeps an eye on Sehun's location out of the corner of his eyes. Currently he's loitering at the end of the bar where a girl tries, and fails, to gain his attention. It would be hilarious if not for the current situation. Kyungsoo quickly orders his water, still keeping his attention honed in on Sehun, and makes his way back to the table without fanfare.

There isn't a chance in Kyungsoo's mind where he thinks he's off the hook. He knows that Sehun will strike when he sees it convenient, or will be able to case the most problems for Kyungsoo and there's nothing he can do about it.

"Fancy seeing you here," Sehun says, smirk on his face once he decides to pull up a chair to the table. "It is a small world after all."

Minseok shoots him a look and Kyungsoo promises with a glance and to himself to explain later but ignores Chanyeol's questioning looks. "Apparently so." He takes a pointed sip of his water. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Wait, wait, wait." Chanyeol waves a hand in the air, gathering attention to himself. "Who is this guy?"

He purses his lips. "This is Sehun, we met in the hospital. Shared a room."

Chanyeol frowns. "You really were in the hospital? I thought was just a story for Ryeowook."

Minseok sighs. "It's a good thing you're pretty. I'm not sure what else Jinri would want you around for."

"I'd like to think it's for my charming personality."

Kyungsoo and Minseok share a look. "Right."

"And what were you in the hospital for?" Minseok asks Sehun. "You look pretty healthy to me."

"Well so does Kyungsoo, but not all medical problems can be detected from the outside." He snags Kyungsoo's beer glass and fills it up from the pitcher, ignoring the look Minseok shoots him. "I had appendicitis."

A lull falls over the table, no one really sure what to say next. Kyungsoo tightens his grip around his glass and glares at Sehun. "This is a thrilling conversation, really, but why are you here?" He tries to project as much displeasure into his voice as possible, hinting that Sehun shouldn't have bothered Kyungsoo here in public, but found a more discreet way to contact him.

"I can't say hi to my favorite roomy?" He takes a sip of the beer then grimaces and puts the glass back down. "I happened to see you and came to say hi, is that a crime now?"

Minseok snorts but is looking down at his glass when Kyungsoo glances at him from the corner of his eye. "Well, you've said hi, I think it's time you left now."

Sehun sighs. "You're so stiff Kyungsoo." He rises from the table anyway, placing his hands on the surface as close to Kyungsoo's as possible to push himself up, slipping a piece of paper to him too quickly for the other two to see. "Wonderful meeting you two." Sehun smiles at Minseok and Chanyeol. "See you around, Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo grunts out a reply and curls his hand around the paper, ignoring the awkward air around the table.

"Well," Minseok says. "That killed my buzz."

 _You and me both_ , Kyungsoo thinks, feeling like the slip of paper weighs a ton in the palm of his hand.

 

*

 

"I've been meaning to ask you," Minseok says as he watches Kyungsoo dismantle his bike to clean each individual part. He likes to do this once a month, clean out the small spaces, make sure everything is perfect and his girl shines like she's supposed to. Minseok thinks he's crazy, but Kyungsoo never claimed to be the poster child for sanity and a well rounded human being anyway. Besides, she's been making a weird noise on his rides lately, he wants to find out what's causing it. "Have you told Junmyeon that you're back? He was worried about you, you know."

Kyungsoo stops at the name, trying to wrack his brain to remember who that is, but the name doesn't ring any bells. He licks his lips and considers if he should tell Minseok or not. He still hasn't told him about the real reason why he's back, part of it because he hasn't devised a plan to take down Manticore yet, and also because he doesn't want to put Minseok in harm's way. He's been worried for a few days now if he's being honest with himself. He thought that he got out scott free, but it seems they took something from him after all.

"I, um, I'm putting it off." He offers Minseok a weak smile. "I've been a little paranoid that Manticore is watching me still and I didn't want to put him at risk."

Minseok nods. "Makes sense, considering."

"Yeah." Kyungsoo turns the wrench over in his hand. "I'll get around to it, once I feel confident he's not in danger. Don't worry about it." He turns back to his work, trying to ignore to sinking feeling in his stomach.

Minseok doesn't say anything for a few minutes before he just sighs. “Don’t keep him waiting for too long, I think the stress is starting to get to him.”

Kyungsoo fiddles with a screwdriver. “I’m sure he’ll be fine. Junmyeon’s a big boy.” But even as he says it, Kyungsoo worries in the back of his head. He worries about the way the name feels familiar on his tongue but doesn’t ring any bells in his head. Worries about the tone of Minseok’s voice, and how concern seems to lace it. He worries about Minseok and how Kyungsoo himself has been back four days now and doesn’t have a single lead to go on, hasn’t seen hair or hide of these supposed Eyes Only hacks, and needing to report into Yoochun in three days with nothing. Most of all he worries about what he’s going to do to keep from having to go back to Manticore for good.

The paper Sehun slipped him yesterday weighs heavy in Kyungsoo’s pocket. He still hasn’t read it even though he knows he should.

He spends the rest of the hour in silence, mindlessly cleaning his bike and putting it back together before going to wash his hands in the kitchen sink. The grease clings stubbornly to his skin, staining it dark and refuses to come off no matter how hard he scrubs. Eventually, Kyungsoo gives up, deeming his hands clean enough and goes to his room to change.

It’s another overcast Seattle day, skies dark and promising rain, but when no one really knows. He doesn’t really mind days like this so much, having grown used to them over the years. The lack of bright sun makes it easier for Kyungsoo to sneak around, do his cat burgling and what not.

With this in mind, Kyungsoo pulls on a pair of dark skinny jeans and a black v-neck, slipping his sneakers and the nice leather jacket Manticore gave him on. He’s pulling on his half gloves as he walks back into the living room where his bike sits as Minseok’s walking out of his room and into the kitchen. “Don’t you own anything that isn’t black?”

Kyungsoo looks down at himself and his clothing. “What’s wrong with black?”

“It makes you look like you’re up to something.” Minseok makes a face as he makes himself a cup of coffee, despite how it’s already three in the afternoon.

He smirks at that and strides over to the kitchen island the separates them. “Maybe I am, though.”

Minseok snorts. “Wouldn’t be surprised in the least.” He adds instant coffee to his mug along with sugar and glances up at Kyungsoo through his lifeless hair, bangs hanging over his forehead. “And where are you off to?”

“Just out and about,” he says with a shrug. “Thought I’d ride around, keep a look out for Manticore’s goons. Don’t want to be caught with my pants down again.”

“That has got to be the worst saying in the history of ever,” Minseok replies.

The look on his face makes Kyungsoo laugh. “But it’s also very true in my case. I would like to have pants on the next time I’m captured. Though, we’re hoping there isn’t going to be a next time.”

Minseok takes a second to process that before deciding, “I really don’t want to know.” He pours the hot water into his mug and stirs it around. “Think about what I said though, about Junmyeon. Not knowing how you are is really wearing him down.”

“Okay,” he agrees easily. “But don’t say anything until I give you the all clear, even if you think I’m in trouble.”

“I’m especially going to say something if I think you’re in trouble. That’s how this friendship is going to work from now on.” He takes a casual sip from his coffee.

Kyungsoo rests his head on the counter, letting out a groan. “Fine.” When he pushes himself away he doesn’t spare Minseok another look, but turns to face his bike and hitch up her kickstand, leading her out of the apartment. “Don’t wait up for me.”

“It’s the middle of the afternoon!”

 

*

 

_Meet me in South Market at 4pm tomorrow._  
_I shouldn’t have to remind you to come alone._  
_Don’t worry about where, I’ll find you._  
_-Sehun_

Kyungsoo frowns at the paper, it looks like it’s torn from an envelope, a yellow line of sticky residue resides on the top. He looks around the throng of shoppers, trying to catch a glimpse of Sehun’s tall figure with dark hair, but comes up with nothing. He’s painfully aware of his nearly exposed neck, barcode practically on display for the world. He rolls his shoulder, trying to readjust his jacket so it hides more of his neck, but doesn't feel like he was successful.

Eventually, Kyungsoo gets tired of walking, it’s nearing five when he finds a place to sit down, keeping his bike as close to him as possible. It’s not that he doesn’t trust people, he just doesn’t really trust people _in South Market_. That and he doesn’t trust people. It doesn’t help when coupled with the unease that resides in his stomach or how it feels like his every hair is standing on end. He’s had that feeling for a while now, positive that Sehun is somewhere close by, just watching him. It would be creepy if he wasn’t used to the strange habits of Manticore.

“Fancy motorcycle,” Sehun says when he finally comes out of the shadows. “D’you steal it?” He runs his hand over her body, smudging up the shine Kyungsoo just worked his ass off for.

He stands up and slaps at his hand. “You need to find a more inconspicuous way to get in contact with me.”

Sehun actually pouts at that, hunching his shoulders as he tries to make his long frame look smaller. “Well, where’s the fun in that?” Kyungsoo is not impressed. “Okay, jeez.”

“There a reason you called me out here?”

He shrugs and begins a leisurely stroll. Kyungsoo has very little choice but to push his bike along and follow him. “So what is it you do out here in the real world, because I gotta say, I do not see the appeal.”

“I have a job, I have friends, I have a life,” Kyungsoo says. “Which is more than I can say about you. You don’t even have a name.”

“Sure I do, Sehun Oh. Says so right on my driver’s license.” He pulls out a wallet and flips out a card for Kyungsoo to see, grin plastered on his face.

Kyungsoo snorts. “Manticore get you that?”

A frown replaces Sehun’s grin and he slips the card and wallet back into his pocket. “Well, it’s not like I had any other choice. I can’t just go out and get one like all of these other people.”

He doesn’t dignify that with a response so Sehun takes it as his cue to keep talking. “What’s the deal with the sector checkpoints? No one at Manticore mentioned that.”

“Because checkpoints aren’t really a problem for them.” Kyungsoo changes the direction they’re headed in, suddenly getting a craving for the completely unhealthy but undeniably good street food you can only get in South Market. “The rest of your little soldier friends probably haven’t been out here, or to more than one sector in Seattle. Most major cities are set up like this though. Los Angeles, San Francisco, Portland, etc. People like Yoochun and HyunJong probably didn’t mention it because the act of getting through a sector checkpoint doesn’t phase them, all access.”

Kyungsoo looks around the street vendors, trying to decide what he’s in the mood for. Does he want something greasy, or does he want something fried. Maybe greasy _and_ fried. It’s not everyday he allows himself to spurge like this. Beside him, Sehun makes a face at all the steaming food stands and smells.

“What the hell is all this stuff?” He asks, side tracking from his curiosity about sector checkpoints. “It smells...”

“Awful, I know.” Kyungsoo can’t help but smile. “It takes some getting used to, but if you ignore it, almost everything here tastes amazing.” He cranes his neck to look a few vendors ahead of them. “Stay away from the one on the end though, I’m not entirely sure what she’s cooking is made for human consumption.” He stops at a vendor that looks like is cooking up some sort of beef. Kyungsoo’s long learned to block out certain smells, but the sight of that meet frying up nicely makes his stomach growl. He reaches into his pocket for a couple of bills and buys a small bowl of it.

“I’m not sure any of this is made for human consumption,” Sehun mumbles a reply. “What the hell is that even?” He casts a disgusted look to Kyungsoo’s food.

“Beef, I think.” He takes a bite of it and lets out a happy sigh, letting his body sag against his bike as he savors the taste. “They don’t make food like this back at Manticore.”

Kyungsoo misses Sehun’s expression, eyes having slipped closed as he enjoys his food. “That’s for sure,” comes the remark. “So back to the checkpoints.” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes as he wipes around his mouth with a napkin. “How do you get past them?”

He shoots Sehun a dark look, eyes narrowed. “Sector pass.”

Sehun nods. “Right. And how do I get one.”

“I should’ve known.” He throws his trash away and starts to move his bike back through South Market.

“What?”

“What was that speech you had the other day? Something about freedom?” Kyungsoo calls over his shoulder. “If you want your freedom, don’t come begging me for handouts.”

Sehun runs to catch up to Kyungsoo, grabbing his arm. “Now let’s get something straight. I don’t want handouts, not from you or anyone else. You’ve been in this city for years, know it like the back of your hand, where to and not to go. All I want to know is how to get a sector pass, and I figured you’d be the person to ask.”

“Well think again,” Kyungsoo says and jerks his arm out of Sehun’s hold. “It’s not my job to babysit you, and if you can’t figure out how to look after yourself since you’re so big on this whole freedom thing, then maybe you should go back to Manticore. I can do this mission without you.” He throws a leg over his bike and turns on the engine, revving it just a bit to show off before heading for the checkpoint and getting the hell out of there.

 

*

 

Kyungsoo tried to not let it bother him, he tried not to think about it, remember it, but in the end it all comes down to this.

He is on a mission.

He is not really back in Seattle because he lives there, because he escaped. He’s living in some vivid dream of freedom and happiness, and Yoochun can have it come crashing down on him in a second. The look on his face says so.

“You have nothing,” he asks again, only this time without infliction, making his voice fall flat like the smile that graces his lips. “A week and you have nothing. It’s impressive really.”

Kyungsoo is trying to decide if he wants to bite his tongue or say what he really thinks. Next to him Sehun says nothing. Unsurprising really. He only saw Sehun twice the entire week and the way he avoids Kyungsoo’s gaze shows him that he’s possibly hurt over their conversation a few days ago.

 _Whatever_ , Kyungsoo thinks. He’s a big boy, he’ll get over it.

He focuses his attention back onto Yoochun who is near reclining in his desk chair, an amused smirk on his face. HyunJong is standing to the side of the room, hands clasped behind his back as well, but his posture is more relaxed. “Explain this to me.”

“What’s there to explain?” Kyungsoo asks. “I did some sleuthing, nothing came up. Gotta try again.”

Yoochun laughs at this. “But _nothing_.” He shakes his head. “You’ll have to forgive me, this is a new concept to me. Usually they bring back,” he lifts up the hastily filled out report Kyungsoo did as soon as he got there with no information on it. “Something.”

Kyungsoo considers this. “Do you usually give all of them such restrictive boundaries and time constraints when conducting missions that begin with no information for them to lead with?” He keeps his face and his tone neutral, but inside, Kyungsoo a smirk poised and ready for action.

“Don’t sass me, 452, it’s unbecoming.”

“Forgive me, sir. I didn’t know that we learned our manners when being tortured as small children. The terror kind of blinded me to that.”

Yoochun’s fake pleasantries fall at that and he rises from his chair, leaning forward towards Kyungsoo and Sehun, eyes boring into Kyungsoo with the promise of pain. “I don’t think you realize the importance of this mission, 452.”

He glares in return. “And I think you’re missing the key factor in the parameters of your rules for said mission. You have given me no information, so I have nowhere to start looking. These things take time, and if you’re too impatient to wait for something to come up then maybe you should reconsider doing things that put Manticore at risk, hm?”

He can see the hatred and anger boiling just under the surface of Yoochun’s eyes, waiting to strike. Kyungsoo almost wants him to, is itching to retaliate, to have a challenge. Neither of them move.

Eventually, Yoochun reins himself in. “It seems I didn’t remind you of where you belong properly, 452. We’ll have to revisit that once the mission is completed, don’t you think?”

Kyungsoo smiles pleasantly. “Of course.”

He rounds the desk and walks past HyunJong without a glance and comes to stand right next to Kyungsoo, fixing his suit jacket. “I do expect better results next week. I’d hate to have to do something drastic.” He leaves the room without further comment. Kyungsoo expects the door to slam behind his dramatic exit, but it merely swings and closes gently with a soft _click_. It leaves him feeling unsatisfied.

Silence falls over the room for a long minute, air feeling at once both heavier and lighter without Yoochun in the room. “You’re going to get yourself killed,” HyunJong says. “Or worse.”

He knows what worse is and doesn’t like the thought of it, so he doesn’t comment. Instead he checks the time on his watch and frowns. “I’m going to be late for work now, thanks to you people. Does the concept of having a job mean nothing to you?”

“Are you even listening to me?” HyunJong asks. “Stop pissing Yoochun off.”

He glares at HyunJong. “I’m aware of the situation, and I have it under control.” He really doesn’t though, and it terrifies him. “Unless you want to do all the spy work, you need to back off.” Kyungsoo pulls his leather gloves out of his pocket and slips them on while looking at Sehun. “Am I taking you back to Seattle or not?”

“No,” Sehun says.

“Fine.” He makes for the door himself, hoping to a God he doesn't believe exists that someone didn’t touch his motorcycle.

By sheer coincidence, there’s an Eyes Only broadcast going on when Kyungsoo makes his way into JamPony after he gets back to Seattle. He’s about twenty minutes later than he should be for work but doesn’t see Ryeowook anywhere. Maybe he’ll get away with it.

“Only back a week and already coming in late?” Minseok says, coming up behind him and whispering into his ear. “I think you’re taking this live on the edge thing too seriously.”

He glances at Minseok and offers a small smile. “But living without risks is so _boring_.”

“Better boring than without a job.” He slips off towards the counter to get a package but Kyungsoo turns back to the TV mounted on JamPony’s wall. He takes a good look at the eyes on the screen, exactly like the picture Yoochun had printed out and shown him. He still can’t make a connection. He sees millions of pairs of eyes in a single day. How is going to figure out which one's Eyes Only.

Kyungsoo turns away from the TV in frustration and heads to the package counter to grab something and his sign in sheet.

“Gentlemen,” Chanyeol says when he reaches the counter with them. “Are we on for Crash tonight?”

“Can’t,” Kyungsoo replies. “I have other plans.” Chanyeol and Minseok’s gaze both snap to him. “What? I can have a life.”

“Well, yeah, but you usually don’t.”

“I’m going to ignore that one.” He shoves a couple of packages into his bag and zips it closed. “I’ll see if I can swing by at some point, but no promises. Happy?”

“No, because I was hoping you’d buy,” Chanyeol says with his puppy smile, leaning down to nudge at Kyungsoo.

He smiles just a bit, spirits feeling lifted, but shoves Chanyeol away. “Well, now I’m really not coming.” He guides his bicycle back to the ramp out of JamPony and calls over his shoulder. “But maybe I’ll buy you lunch.”

“You always know how to make a guy feel loved, Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol calls after him, smile broad and lighting up his face.

 

*

 

The incessant beeping of Kyungsoo’s beeper nearly blows his cover, but Kyungsoo is nothing if not a professional at what he does and manages to get the hell out of dodge before someone sees his face. He glances at the payphone number that runs along the screen and frowns. It’s rare when he gets beeped from a payphone and it worries him.

While he goes on a hunt for a payphone himself he grumbles about the impracticality of pagers and the amount of noise they make. Sometimes, very rarely, Kyungsoo thinks about The Pulse and what it has turned the world into. It doesn’t really affect him one way or another, he doesn’t remember much from before, but he thinks about things. Things like the setback the country has had and how more people live in the streets, are sick; he thinks about the setbacks technology has taken. He thinks about his annoying beeper and how some days he wants to throw it in the river.

“Welcome to Pizza Hut,” Kyungsoo says once he finds a payphone and dials the number back. “How can I help you?”

There’s a pause on the line before he hears a very quiet, “Kyungsoo.” The voice is so soft and quiet that it takes him a second to figure out who it is. “I need your help.”

All at once, Kyungsoo is taken back, back to a time when his only worry was staying low and unnoticed. Back when Minseok didn’t know the truth, and he didn’t know the only family he had was dead. He’s taken back to when Donghae showed up on his radar and his heart nearly stops in his chest at the sense of deja vu.

“Kyungsoo?” the voice, Sehun, asks. “You there?”

Kyungsoo blinks himself back into the present, trying to ignore the uneasy feelings churning in his stomach and the sudden gaps in his memory. He remembers finding Donghae; Donghae getting into trouble, helping him out, Donghae dead on the ground, hole in his skull. But Kyungsoo cannot for the life of him remember _how_ he found Donghae, or how he died.

He clears his throat. “If this is some kind of prank, Sehun, I don’t have time for it. His Majesty Yoochun Park wants results by next week, if you don’t recall.”

“I know, but, there’s a bit of a situation.”

He feels like he’s in a dream. He feels like he’s not even in his own body, but watching it walk and talk and breathe on it’s own without him there to tell it what to do. “What kind of a situation?”

There’s a pause and the sound of Sehun licking his lips, face pressed to close to the receiver. “I can’t explain it over the phone, I shouldn’t even be standing here still. I need to keep moving. Where are you?”

For a second, a very brief moment, Kyungsoo thinks about telling him to go to his place. But then he thinks about Minseok and the danger he’s been in already because of Kyungsoo, the danger he is in now because Kyungsoo is back. He thinks about Donghae and...

No, he can’t do that.

“Out.”

“Out _where_?” Sehun stresses, voice strained.

Kyungsoo considers his options before sighing. “Meet me at the Space Needle,” he says and hangs up the phone.

 

*

 

When Kyungsoo first arrived in Seattle he was captivated by the Space Needle. He’s not sure why, but he loved it, and every chance he could he would go up it and sit on the sloping roof. That was years ago, when Kyungsoo was sixteen, maybe seventeen. Now he’s probably twenty, he’s not sure. He’ll have to ask Minseok how old he is.

Hell, maybe HyunJong will know Kyungsoo’s age. Not that he’ll ask.

It’s been a long time since he’s been up here. Not that it matters, nothing has changed. For a very short moment, Kyungsoo feels like he’s the same as he was when he first came up here, like no time has passed at all as he walks around the trashed restaurant it used to be.

Something shifts behind him and it has Kyungsoo glancing back. He spots Sehun, hiding in one of the shadows, only his outline visible. He glances away. “What’s so important that you had to see me now?” Kyungsoo considers this question before adding, “And how did you get my beeper number?”

“That’s not important right now,” Sehun says, even in person his voice sounds a little off which gains Kyungsoo’s attention. “You have to promise not to get mad.”

Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh. “Usually when someone asks that it means they’ve done something to induce anger.”

“This is serious, Kyungsoo.”

He watches Sehun’s shadowy outline, the way it’s poised for a fight, but how he’s one step close to bolting than fighting. Very usual for a Manticore soldier. “Okay, I won’t get mad.”

Sehun slips out of the shadows slowly, walking towards Kyungsoo. He’s not sure what he’s seeing right away but when Sehun is close enough he can’t ignore the bruises on his face, reds and blacks and blues that will undoubtedly get uglier before they get better. He sees a patch of road rash on Sehun’s arm, deep red and grimy with dirt, tiny pebbles still embedded in the skin. He sees the rips and blood splotches on Sehun’s shirt and he has to close his eyes to take a deep breath, to calm himself.

“I don’t know how it happened,” Sehun says, vice small and weak. “Everything was fine one second and then the next...” He trails off. “I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it just did. I’ve never seen so many angry people before.”

“Sehun, what happened?”

He eyes flick around the room, watching the shadows as if he’s waiting for something to jump out at him. “I tried to do what you said. I thought I could take care of myself. Everything was fine.”

Kyungsoo reaches out and takes a hold of Sehun who flinches at the touch. “Sehun.” He puts a stern, no nonsense tone to his voice and somehow that gets Sehun to snap to it.

“I was cage fighting.” Kyungsoo closes his eyes but doesn’t take his hands off of Sehun. “I found it by accident, after you left South Market. I was wandering around and when night fell It was just there, calling to me. You should’ve seen it Kyungsoo, it was amazing. I was amazing. They laughed at me when I first came out, saw how skinny I was, said I had no business being there, that a strong gust of wind could probably knock me over.” There’s a smile in his voice but Kyungsoo can’t bring himself to open his eyes and look up. “And then when I won, they all stared at me in awed silence, even the crowd. It was beautiful.”

He has to swallow around the lump in his throat before he can speak. “Get to the important part, Sehun.”

“I thought I was unstoppable, Kyungsoo. It was this endless rush of adrenalin, or power, for once I felt like I was in control and no one could tell me what to do.” Sehun stops and then there’s a tiny shift in his posture. “It was an accident,” he says. “I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

“What happened?”

Sehun seems to be struggling so Kyungsoo forces himself to look, open his eyes and really look and the horror on Sehun’s face. “Kyungsoo,” he starts in a quiet voice. “Have you ever killed someone before?”

Kyungsoo thinks about Donghae, lying dead on a parking garage floor, hole in his head and eyes wide open, pool of blood growing and growing and growing. He thinks about the gun he can’t remember, the missing memory of how Donghae died, just his lifeless body on the floor. “Not directly,” he says. “But I was responsible for it.”

“734,” Sehun mutters.

“His name was Donghae,” Kyungsoo replies and lets his hands slip from Sehun’s arms, hanging at his sides. He forces the memories away, tries to put himself in the here and now. He wants to be angry, and part of him is, but another part is also aware of Sehun’s shock. “Who was it, Sehun? Do you know their name?”

Sehun frowns and stares past Kyungsoo. “Um, some guy by the name of Zico.”

Kyungsoo grimances. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

His gazes pulls back and focuses on Kyungsoo. “No, why.”

He can’t help but laugh. “Zico is very high in crime chain of command. He has a lot of criminal records and connections even though his own little group is... They’re known but they don’t really do anything bad. It’s sort of a pet project for him mostly because Zico is expected to do other things later down the line.”

“Kyungsoo are you saying I killed basically the heir to a gang boss?”

“Yes and no?” He makes a face and starts pacing. “He’s not set to take over the whole thing but close enough.”

“I just thought he was part of some little street gang!” Sehun cries out, looking so much more terrified. “Is that why I had my ass handed to me and had to run for my life?”

Kyungsoo hums. “What _did_ they do to you, anyway?”

“I got jumped, there were too many of them to fight off. I eventually was able to slip away but they chased after me.”

“Naturally.”

Sehun, seeming to come back to himself glares. “How am I going to get out of this?”

Kyungsoo crosses his arms. “That’s a good question isn’t it?”

“You’re not going to leave me to figure this out alone are you?”

He considers this, and while the idea is tempting it doesn't sit right with him. He thinks about Donghae again, little Donghae when they were children, staying behind and being subjected to so much worse than before the escape. He thinks about Donghae’s crazed look when he held the gun to Kyungsoo’s head, when he shot Kyungsoo in the arm. He thinks about the small child that stayed behind, and the dead body on the floor.

“No,” he says. “I’m going to help you. But first we need to get you cleaned up.” He doesn’t want to take Sehun back to the apartment, but he doesn't really know what else to do. With a glance around the space needle though, he gets an idea. “I need you to sit tight for a little bit, can you do that without getting into trouble, you think?”

Sehun glares and takes a sweeping glance around him. “Sit where?”

Kyungsoo finds one of the still intact cushioned seats of the old restaurant and goes to dust it off. “Sit here, don’t move. I’ll be back as soon as possible."

Kyungsoo quickly makes his way back to his apartment with Minseok, letting out a sigh of relief when he finds Minseok there as well. “I don’t have time to explain right now but I promise I will later, I just need you to help me right now, and you have every right to be mad at me, just later, okay?” He says all of this in one breath the moment he steps through the door and Minseok looks on with weary eyes.

“Okay,” he agrees slowly.

“Okay.” Kyungsoo takes a breath then glances down. “You should put on pants, probably, it’s kinda chilly out.”

“We’re going _out_?” Minseok asks. “Do you have any idea what time it is?”

He’s already made it back to his room and grabbed a bag and started packing it with his largest shirt, a blanket and some first aid stuff. “No, actually, I lost track of time.” He brings the bag into the living room and rests it on a stool by the counter and goes in search of some snacks. “Do we not have anything portable to eat?”

“Kyungsoo what is going on?” Minseok asks as he pulls on a pair of jeans, given by the sound. “Would you just stop for a minute?” He comes into the kitchen and closes a cabinet nearly on Kyungsoo’s hand.

Kyungsoo tries to avoid Minseok’s gaze but thinks better of it. “I haven’t been completely honest with you. And it’s not because I don’t trust you,” he adds when he sees the dark look on Minseok’s face. “Or think you can’t handle yourself. It’s because I’m worried. Minseok, I’m honestly scared of what’s going to happen and I don’t want to say or do the wrong thing that ends up with you dead, because I’ll never forgive myself.” He hadn’t meant to say all that but there it is, hanging in the air between them.

Even Minseok looks like he wasn’t expecting that, taken aback by Kyungsoo’s honestly. “Are you in trouble?”

He laughs weakly. “Not yet. Listen, I promise I’ll explain when we get there but we need to leave right now.” Kyungsoo walks away from Minseok then, putting some distance between them so he can gather his thoughts. He rounds the counter and zips up the bag, handing it to Minseok. “Can you carry this? We’re taking my motorcycle.”

“Sure,” Minseok says tonelessly and slips on a jacket. Kyungsoo hates that tone but he can’t fix it now. Instead he ignores the guilt in his stomach.

When the get to the Space Needle Minseok eyes it wearily, and the expression doesn’t leave his face as they head up. “Is this safe?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “Safe enough.” They make their way through the scattered mess to where Sehun is reclining on the cushioned booth chair. “I should start by saying that Sehun and I didn’t meet in the hospital,” he tells Minseok.

“Well that much was obvious.”

Kyungsoo slips the bag off his shoulder and motions for Sehun to sit up so he can pull off his shirt and Kyungsoo can get a better look at him. Behind him, he can feel Minseok’s unease. “He’s from Manticore.”

Sehun glares at him then and hisses under his breath. “What are you doing?”

“Preventing infection.” Kyungsoo pulls a first aid kit out of his bag and opens it up. He begins to disinfect Sehun’s wounds. To Minseok, “I didn’t tell you because there’s more to it than that.”

Minseok, standing perfectly still asks, “What else is there?”

He hesitates. “I can’t tell you everything, not yet anyway.” He risks a glance at Minseok. “There are details that... It’s a sensitive situation and It’s been driving me insane for not telling you, and if I could I would tell you everything.”

“When I asked you if you were in trouble and you said ‘not yet’, what did you mean?”

He drops a bloody and grimy cotton swab on the floor and takes out another, wetting it with alcohol and ignoring Sehun’s hiss. “If I don’t figure out what cards to play in the correct order I’m going to be.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Minseok asks.

Kyungsoo shrugs, getting out the antibacterial ointment and dabbing Sehun’s skin with it. “I don’t know.”

Minseok sighs heavily, lifting himself up top a rickety table to sit. “At least you have a good poker face.”

“Yay for small victories.”

The three of them sit in silence. Kyungsoo feels sick to his stomach with worry. Worry about everything, Manticore, Minseok, Sehun’s dumb mistake. He also can’t stop thinking about Donghae no matter what, it’s nagging him in the back of his brain and no amount of shoving it down is helping.

When Sehun is as cleaned up as he’s going to get, Kyungsoo stands and shoves the kit back into his bag. “I can’t do anything about your face,” he says casually. “Can’t fix what’s naturally wrong.” He tries for a joke, it falls flat. Kyungsoo kind of expected as much.

Instead he reaches into the bag and pulls out the shirt he snagged for Sehun. “It’s the biggest size I had, I’ll see if I can grab you something tomorrow.”

Sehun looks at it with disdain but pulls it on anyway. It’s tight around his chest and shoulders, fitting to him perfectly like a second skin. Kyungsoo can see the outline of the bandages. “So what’s the deal? Who is he and why is he here?” Sehun nods to Minseok but doesn’t look in his direction.

“He,” Minseok cuts in. “Has a name. It’s Minseok, don’t forget it, nice to meet you though.”

Kyungsoo smiles, just a small quick thing. He’s really missed Minseok. “Minseok knows about me, us, about Manticore.” He pulls the blanket it out of the bag as well and hands it to Sehun. “It kinda just happened one day.”

Minseok snorts.

“These things don’t just happen, Kyungsoo.” Sehun looks at the blanket like he’s never seen one before. “You know we’re not supposed to tell anyone, it compromises the--”

“I’ve been friends with Minseok for years, dumbass. We’ve been through more than you can imagine together, so don’t take that tone with me or try to feed me that bullshit. I trust him more than anyone else to have my back when it comes down to it.”

Sehun scoffs. “You need to remember while you were out here making friends and playing house, or whatever, the rest of us were back at Manticore taking the fall for your escape.”

“Let’s get something straight,” Kyungsoo says, nearly growls out. He shoves Sehun hard, back pressing against the seat. “That was never our intention and I’m sorry it happened, but while you were in there, being taught how to kill and be a good little soldier I was out here having a life, and it was not an easy life Sehun. If you think Yoochun is a force to be reckoned with then you have another thing coming because there are people out here far worse that don’t care who you are or where you come from, and if you want my help you’ll shut up and get the fuck over yourself.”

“Kyungsoo,” Minseok calls. He glares at Sehun just a second longer, trying not to let his anger suddenly bubble over and explode. He’s not really angry at Sehun. Not to the extreme level he feels it boiling in his veins, but Sehun is also a product of Manticore and him regurgitating that mindless babble set him off.

He forces himself to pull away and breathe in through his nose, out through his mouth as he paces the space between Sehun and Minseok. When he finally has a handle on himself he stops and stares at Sehun’s battered figure. “Do you remember when we were kids, the X5’s that had seizures?”

Sehun shrugs dismissively but from the down cast of his eyes Kyungsoo knows he remembers.

“There was a kid in my group, one of _us_. I can’t remember his name anymore, it happened so long ago. But it started out slow, just some shakes once in awhile. But they got worse and one day when we were standing in formation he collapsed, fell right down in front of the adults and started convulsing, tremors wracking his body violently. They had to drag him away.” Kyungsoo stops talking and tries to force the images out of his head, not wishing to see it replay over and over again like it did for so long. “I wanted to know what was going to happen to him.”

“Kyungsoo,” Sehun cuts him off, but he keeps talking.

“I snuck out of bed that night, went looking through the halls. I found him in one of the rooms, tubes and wires attached to his body as he was sliced up, cut open for them to harvest his organs.” It was terrifying standing there, watching the doctors work methodically, HyunJong standing there in his suit casually drinking a cup of coffee. “They were so proud of us all, Sehun. All the time, and still pushing us to be better. But what I never understood was, if we were so important how could they just do that and not fix him?”

He fixes Sehun with a look. “How could they just cast him aside like that, as if he was nothing?”

From his table, Minseok doesn’t say anything, but Kyungsoo can feel this terror and disgust rolling off him in waves. Sehun looks a little sick.

“When I was about nine or ten,” he goes on shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “I started to get the shakes as well.”

“Kyungsoo, no.” This time it’s Minseok that cuts in as Sehun curls in on himself.

“It was little trembles of my hands randomly, easy things to hide, but it didn’t stay that way and the others quickly noticed. I hadn’t told them what I saw but it didn’t matter, we were close at that point. A family, they wouldn’t just let the adults take me to never be seen again.” He pauses for effect, or so he hopes that’s how it comes off, but really, Kyungsoo is having a hard time thinking about this, remembering it. “We planned the escape and one night it was so bad, I couldn’t feel my limbs properly so that’s when we moved.”

Sehun’s hands are clenched into fists in the blanket as he keeps his head down, hair obscuring his face. “Stop it.”

“You look at me like I’m the scum of the earth, like I’ve wronged you, like it’s my fault they did what they did to you.”

“Because it is!” Sehun shouts. “It’s all your fault!”

“If we hadn’t left I would be dead, Sehun!” He yells back. “They would’ve taken me away and I would be dead right now because that’s what they do. They take innocent children, make them think they’re soldiers and treat them like shit and if they aren’t just perfect they kill them and use them for scraps. Does that sound like the Manticore you know?”

Sehun looks shaken, like a child. “You’re lying.”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “Don’t believe me, I don’t care.” He glances to Minseok who looks just as put off as Sehun. “But you need to get over it because what’s done is done and right now we’re both here and you need my help.” He walks over to where Minseok is on the table and rests a hand on his knee. “Minseok is my best friend and the only person I have on my side who can keep me out of trouble. He knows the truth about us, and you need to accept it and not belittle him because he’s _”just human”_ , as you all seem to think.”

When Sehun doesn’t bother to say anything, Kyungsoo considers it the best he’s going to get.

He turns to face Minseok and gives him a weary look. “Sorry.” Minseok only shrugs. “Sehun was doing cage fights in South Market. When I told him to learn to take care of himself it seems he got the wrong impression of what that meant.”

“I made a lot of money though,” Sehun mumbles.

He considers this and nods. “Sure, but at what risk?” When Sehun has no further comment he moves on. “Apparently Sehun doesn’t know how to curb his strength even when it’s a test of that.” Minseok’s eyes flick to Sehun then back to Kyungsoo with a question of _What happened?_. “Sehun killed a man by mistake. Zico to be specific.”

“Oh my, God,” Minseok says. “Please tell me you’re joking, that this whole thing is a joke.”

“I wish.”

He puts his head into his hands and makes a faint sound that describes exactly how Kyungsoo feels. “ _Zico?_ ”

Kyungsoo nods. “He looks the way he does because now some people are after him and I need you to help me figure out how to get them off his back.”

“Me?” Minseok’s voice task on an awkwardly high pitch. “What the hell am I gonna do?” Kyungsoo shrugs. “Do you even have a plan?”

“Not really.”

“Oh my God, Kyungsoo how do you always end up in these kinds of situations?” And it’s at that, that Kyungsoo feels guilty. He shouldn’t be bringing his problems to Minseok to figure out. It’s not fair of him, not after everything. Not to mention the fact that he’s still hiding the truth. “No, don’t make that face, that’s not what I meant.”

Kyungsoo makes sure to school his face into a neutral expression. “I’m not making any face. You shouldn’t feel obligated to help me, Minseok.”

“Shut up,” he says. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Okay.” He shuts up and watches Minseok think.

After a few minutes Minseok says, “I think it’s time to talk to Junmyeon.” And there it is again. That name. He does his best to not let anything show on his face. “He’ll know what to do.”

“No.” He begins to turn from Minseok, his eyes falling to Sehun who's watching him curiously. “We are not telling Junmyeon, that is the last thing I want to do.” The first thing he wants to do is to find out who this Junmyeon is, but he doesn’t have time for that. “I took care of myself for years before I met him, I can do it again. It’s fine.”

“But Kyungsoo.” Minseok gets down from the table and follows him, footsteps echoing through the room. “You know he’s our best shot at this. He can find the safest and cleanest way to keep Sehun out of trouble.”

“That doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” Sehun says, eyes still boring into Kyungsoo. “Maybe we should talk to this Junmyeon guy.”

Kyungsoo glares at him darkly, ignoring the way Sehun stares at him as if he’s trying to figure something out. “I said no, we’ll solve this one on our own.”

Sehun shrugs and Minseok sighs. “Fine,” they both say. Kyungsoo doesn’t really feel like he’s won anything, but he tries to let it go.

He walks over to Sehun, crouching down to zip up the bag. “It’s late,” he comments. “I want you to stay here tonight, it’s the safest place I have for you right now.” Sehun looks like he wants to protest, but doesn’t. Kyungsoo is grateful. “I’ll bring you some food in the morning, and change your bandages, okay?”

“Sure,” he says mildly. “Whatever you say, boss.”

He stands and kicks the bag to the side, deciding to leave it here for Sehun for...whatever reason. Part of him isn’t expecting Sehun to be here when he shows up in the morning, but one can never know. “Try not to fling yourself over the side of the building, okay?” Kyungsoo doesn’t wait for an answer before pulling Minseok along so they can leave.

He can’t sleep at all that night, stomach churning with unease, brain running a mile a minute. He wants to go for a ride, but he doesn’t trust himself. Instead he stares at the ceiling all night until the light behind his curtains start to bleed blue, and then he stares just a little bit longer.

Hours later, when he’s changing Sehun’s bandages, Sehun asks. “Did they really do that to him?”

“To who?” Kyungsoo asks, knowing full well what Sehun is talking about.

“That boy, in your section block,” he clarifies. “Did they really kill him?”

“Yeah.” He wraps bandage tape around Sehun’s road rashed arm.

Sehun doesn’t say anything else after that, but he does look like his whole world has been shaken and left on a slant. Kyungsoo wants to feel bad, but he can’t really bring it in himself to. He tosses a plastic bag with some snacks to Sehun. “I got you something to eat, it’s not much, but it should hold you over until I can come back later.”

He waits for a response, but when one doesn’t come Kyungsoo takes it as his cue to leave.

 

*

 

“So you really aren’t dead,” a voice says, gaining Kyungsoo’s attention. He’s glaring at the address on this package because it doesn’t make sense. No such address exists, he would know, he’s been to every address in this city at least once, he’s memorized the fucking phone book. Metaphorically speaking.

He glances up. “Excuse me?”

The man before him rolls his eyes. “Oh come off it. Everyone thought you were dead, but here you are.”

“Here I am,” he parrots.

“Does Junmyeon know?”

Kyungsoo’s blood runs cold. That name _again_. Who is this Junmyeon? And better yet, who is the man speaking to Kyungsoo as if they know each other? He scowls. “I’m sorry, I can’t talk right now I have a package to deliver.” He tries to slip around this mysterious person but is stopped by a hand on his arm.

“Wait,” he says. “I just want you to know that, despite everything, I’m glad you’re okay.”

He grips the package tighter and tries to make his voice work. “Do I know you?”

The man rolls his eyes. “Good one, Kyungsoo. ‘Baekhyun can never be serious, everything’s always a joke to him.’ Pretending like you don’t know me. Funny.”

 _Baekhyun_ , now that’s a name Kyungsoo definitely doesn’t know. But this man knows his. Why is that? “Yeah, really funny.” He smiles weakly. “I really have to go though.” Kyungsoo waves the package.

“What’s the address?” Baekhyun asks, letting his hand slip off of Kyungsoo.

“Uh,” he glances down at it. “2389 Oxland B.” Kyungsoo focuses back on Baekhyun’s face.

“Oh! That’s mine.”

He raises and eyebrow. “You live at an address that doesn’t exist.”

“What? Oh, no, it’s fake. Obviously.” He rolls his eyes and motions for Kyungsoo to give him the package. “It’s a decoy address so I don’t get caught.”

“Because you’re always doing things that require you to stay under the radar,” he deadpans but hands the package along with the sign off sheet over.

Baekhyun signs a fake name, Kyungsoo didn’t even glance at the name on the package. “Yeah,” he says with a huff of a laugh. “Like you’re one to judge though, am I right?”

This is getting weird, Kyungsoo is not enjoying the weirdness level of this conversation. There’s too many puzzle pieces popping up, making his job more difficult than it already is. “Yeah,” he agrees weakless, glancing at the sheet. “Listen, I gotta jet. Other packages and what not.” He eyes Baekhyun once more while putting the clipboard into his bag and hopping on his bike. He forces himself not to look behind him as he rides away.

At lunch, Kyungsoo is dying to say something to Minseok, but in the end he doesn’t, he keeps his mouth shut and listens to him and Chanyeol chat away, chiming in here and there. Everything feels the same as before and completely different all at once. The longer Kyungsoo sticks around the more unease he feels and questions pop up.

Who is Junmyeon, and why does everyone keep mentioning him to Kyungsoo?

What are these gaps in his memory?

Who is Eyes Only?

How does he prevent himself from going back to Manticore?

That last ones is mildly easier than the others. He needs to destroy Manticore, but then how does he do that?

Maybe it’s not easier to answer.

“You look a little far away there, K.” Chanyeol says, leaning on their table so has to look up at Kyungsoo instead of down.

“Rough night,” Kyungsoo says. “I didn’t get a lot of sleep.”

“Bad hook up?” Chanyeol asks.

He can’t help but laugh. “I wish that was my problem, honestly. A bad hook up is the least of my worries right now.”

“So no hook up then.” Chanyeol muses. “Did ya strike out?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head but smiles at him anyway. “No, Chanyeol, I did not. There was no attempt in me trying to get laid last night.”

“Shame.” Chanyeol leans back in his chair, stretching out his back by the looks of it. “That’s what you need after being in the hospital for so long. A good fuck.”

Minseok groans. “Why is everything sex with you?”

He smiles. “I enjoy sex and just want to share my joy with the world.”

Minseok takes a second before respond. “No matter how I replay that sentence in my head, it just sounds wrong. Please do not share your joy with the world. Ever.”

After lunch, back at their lockers, Minseok nudges Kyungsoo. “How’s your boy doing?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “He’s holding up, seems a little shaken though. I think it’s just...everything. A lot of them don’t know what it’s like out here.”

Minseok frowns. “And you?”

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t look it.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t feel it either, but he doesn’t want to worry Minseok at the moment. He needs to get his head together before he can say anything. “I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”

“Well,” Minseok says, “don’t frown so much. It’ll give you wrinkles.” He reaches out and tips Kyungsoo’s face up to have a good look at it. “You look like you’ve aged five years already.”

Kyungsoo gives a weak smile. “I’ll try my best.”

“That’s better.”

“Speaking of age, how old are you now, Minseok?”

Minseok gives him a weird look but answers, “Twenty. You just missed my birthday, actually.”

“Sorry.” So he was right. “I’ll make it up to you.”

He waves Kyungsoo off. “Don’t worry about it. The fact that you’re here again is enough.” He closes his locker and slips his bag over his shoulders. “Crash tonight? After you check on Sehun?”

“Sure, for a little bit.”

Minseok claps him on the shoulder before walking off.

Kyungsoo isn’t really in the mood for drinking, or for taking care of Sehun, but he doesn’t have much of a choice on one and will worry Minseok if he doesn’t do the other. He sighs and closes his locker as well, preparing himself for a long afternoon.

 

*

 

There's a system that Kyungsoo has for his days, and he likes to stick to it. It's not a very extensive system, or even all that complicated, but sometimes a guy just likes to have an idea of a routine. Kyungsoo's life, before it fell apart, was fairly simple and some delusional part of his brain was hoping he'd be able to have that back to an extent. Unfortunately one thing after another seems to be determined to make that impossible.

As he's heading back for his last run of the day, waiting at the sector checkpoint in South Market, Kyungsoo can't but over hear the musings of some possible gang members.

"D'ya ever find that kid from the other night?" One of them, Thug Number one, asks; Kyungsoo makes a point of it not to turn around. He takes quick inventory of the people before him in line and figures he'll be here long enough to get the whole conversation.

There's a shuffling sound, of what Kyungsoo isn't sure. "Naw, he slipped away somehow, haven't seen 'em since."

"The longer it takes us to find him the more angry Zico's people get. He's caused them a lot of trouble."

"I'm aware of that," Thug Number Two says. "But it's not exactly easy to find one skinny kid in the middle of South Market."

"Sure it is," Number One says. "Just look for the brat who's had his face bashed in already."

A pause between the two. The line shifts forward a bit. "What if he's not in South Market anymore?"

"Unlikely, some of the others were talkin' to him. He was tryin' to find out how to get a Sector Pass. Where ever he is, it's gotta be here. It's pretty hard to get around without a pass."

These are definitely the guys who beat up Sehun. Kyungsoo tightens his grip on his handle bars. He could easily go over there and beat both of them up, take them out, but that's a big risk right by a sector checkpoint. It doesn't leave him with many options. A mild con could work. Kyungsoo don't really like doing those, but they get the job done.

The line shifts again.

 _Make a decision, Kyungsoo_ , he tells himself. _You might not get another chance like this._ And that decides it. Kyungsoo pulls himself out of the line, steering his bike towards the two men. They're tall, taller than him at least, nearing six foot. If people were just looking, the two of them could turn Kyungsoo into ground meat, but in reality he can take them both, easy.

"Can we help you kid?" Thug Number One asks when they notice him.

He tries not to make a face at the word "kid", he doesn't think he is very successful. "You guys are involved with the cage fights right?"

They share a look. "I dunno what people are saying, but there ain't no cage fights going on."

Kyungsoo fakes a surprised look. "Really? Because there's a guy going around saying that he beat Zico in one of them, killed him in fact. He's been bragging all over the city."

Number two gets a dark look. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," he nods. "I didn't think it was true but." He shrugs.

"You know where we can find him?" Thug Number One asks.

Kyungsoo has to force himself not to smile, or grin. Too easy, they fall for it every time. "Yeah, I can show you actually, he lives pretty close by." He starts to lead his bike away, scanning for a good place to beat them both down.

Soon it becomes obvious there's never going to be a good place, and by the grumbles behind him, Kyungsoo's beginning to think they two are catching on. He leads them down a relatively busy section.

"Alright kid, where is he?" Number Two asks, putting a hand on Kyungsoo's shoulder, preventing him from going any further.

He tries the innocent act, biting his lip and he turns around "Sorry, I seem to have gotten turned around. I'm not that familiar with South Market."

Number One narrows his eyes. "Are you trying to play us?"

Kyungsoo can't help but laugh. "Me? Play you? Does it look like I'm able to do that?"

They share a look then give Kyungsoo the once over. "Not really, no."

"I was hoping you'd say that." He lets his bike fall, wishing it didn't have to be this way, but desperate times. He punches One in the face, startling both of them.

One groans, bending over, bringing his large hands to cradle his nose. "Fuck, you broke my nose you shit!"

"Oops," Kyungsoo says unapologetically. "Sorry."

Two is wide eyed, glancing between Kyungsoo and Number one, as if he's trying to decide if he wants to play this game. Kyungsoo makes the choice for him, kicking him in the stomach. It only devolves from there.

 

*

 

It's raining when Kyungsoo gets back to his apartment and he's soaked. Two of the spokes on his front tyre are broken and he just knows he's going to hear about that from Ryeowook tomorrow when he wants to borrow a bike. Maybe he'll just skip work.

"The hell happened to you?" Minseok asks, coming down the hall just as Kyungsoo's going inside. "You weren’t at Crash and you look like you've been fighting the good fight."

Kyungsoo groans and drips inside the apartment. "It was not the good fight, believe me."

Minseok laughs. "Okay, then what was it?"

He makes his way to his bedroom and starts stripping off his damp clothes as Minseok makes them something to eat. "I found the guys who beat Sehun up. Well, the two in charge I think."

"So it was the good fight, then."

Kyungsoo pokes his head out of his room to glare at Minseok. "No, Sehun is not part of the good fight, has nothing to do with the good fight, will never have anything to do with the good fight."

Minseok gives him a look, this smirk and raised eyebrow that is all but mocking. "Then how come you're looking out for him?"

"Shut up." He goes back into his room and looks for dry clothes. "Anyway, I found them, beat them up, told them not to mess with Sehun again." He finds a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and pulls them both on.

"And that worked?"

Kyungsoo shrugs. "Only time will tell, I guess."

Minseok dishes them both some soup and leans against the counter behind him. "Well that was nice of you."

He shrugs again. "How was Crash?"

"No fun without you. People were asking about you." He avoids Minseok's gaze. "Asking how come you keep avoiding everyone now that you're back."

Kyungsoo makes a face. "I didn't think they'd care."

Minseok puts down his bowl and comes to the side to stand next to Kyungsoo. "Are you an idiot? Of course they care, everyone loves you."

"That's a lie."

"Kyungsoo," he starts and the tone of his voice makes Kyungsoo look up and at him, he can't name the expression on Minseok's face. "Everyone honestly did miss you while you were gone. And I'm not just speaking from a biased perspective because I missed you too and I'm glad you're home, but you could just tell..." He fumbles for the right words. "Nothing was the same while you were gone."

Kyungsoo doesn't know how to respond to that, if he even wants to. It makes him feel guilty about the truths he's keeping from Minseok, the secrets he's hiding. He has to force himself to look away. "Must you get all emotional when we eat, Minseok?"

"Asshole," Minseok says affectionately, then punches him in the shoulder. "Just think about it okay? Next time?"

He nods. "Yeah, okay."

 

*

 

When Kyungsoo first woke up at Manticore, strapped to that hospital bed after his surgery he was confused. He could remember who he was, his name, his life outside of Manticore, how much he hated the place, but he didn't know why he could remember it. He laid in that bed for weeks wondering why they hadn't reprogrammed him, stripped away everything that made him an individual, everything they didn't want in a soldier. He asked Yoochun once, before their torture sessions started and he was being cleared from the medical wing. He smiled at Kyungsoo and ran a hand over his cheek, his skin was cold against Kyungsoo's own, but it was his smile that made him shiver. He never answered though.

After each torture session Kyungsoo had his memories intact, his personality. Eventually he stopped questioning it and started to try to think of a way out. Now he wonders if his choice of ignorance was the best option.

But sometimes, Kyungsoo can't help but think about it. That room, being strapped to a table, having his mind fiddled with. Yoochun's smirk. He thinks about it all, usually late at night when he can't sleep. He wonders _why_? Why him, why not someone else? Why does he get to keep everything but there were others who weren't so lucky?

Just _why_?

Some days, he's afraid he'll never get the answer.

Minseok is hanging up the phone as Kyungsoo walks out of his room, ruffling what's left of his hair, damp from his shower. The look on Minseok's face is hesitant and weary. "Penny for your thoughts?"

He bites his lip. "I just got off the phone."

"I see that." Kyungsoo walks into the kitchen to get a glass of water. "Usually, there's someone on the other end of it too, it's how these things work."

That seems to snap Minseok back to himself for just a moment, he rolls his eyes. "Most of the time, yes." He places the phone back in it's cradle then comes to join Kyungsoo by the counter separating the kitchen and living room. "Junmyeon wants me to come over."

 _Junmyeon._ Kyungsoo wracks his brain for the proper response in regards to a person he doesn't know, but apparently should. "Oh?" He hopes his voice sounds right, not too fake. "Since when are you two close?"

"When you were gone, he came looking for you." Minseok looks away, down at the counter. "Remember that whole talk about honesty we had? Well I haven't been completely honest with you either."

Kyungsoo isn't entirely sure the secrets that Minseok could keep from him that would be all that shocking, a man is entitled to his privacy after all. For example, if Kyungsoo wanted to be completely honest he'd tell Minseok that once, when he was seventeen and they had been living together here and there for a little while, Kyungsoo was curious about the idea of sex with Minseok. It was _mostly_ a byproduct of that whole heat thing, which Kyungsoo does not miss at all. But the idea did stick around in his head for a few weeks after. That's a secret he'd like to take to his grave though.

"Okay," he replies.

Minseok licks his lips, nervous. "We worked together a lot while you were gone. Mostly looking into Manticore, and looking for you and trying to figure out how to get you back."

Manticore? This mysterious Junmyeon knows about Manticore? That's unexpected. If Kyungsoo were telling Minseok all of truth, he'd show his surprise on his face, but alas.

"I guess we're friends now?" Minseok makes a face, one that says that he both isn't entirely sure if they are friends or if he wants to be friends with Junmyeon. The plot thickens. "You're not mad are you? You haven't said anything."

 _Why would I be mad?_ He wants to ask, but doesn't. Instead, Kyungsoo shakes his head and offers a reassuring smile. "No, I'm not mad. Things happen, I was gone a while. I'd be more surprised if you two didn't have some form of interaction during that time." He tries to make it convincing, something he would really say. Though, Kyungsoo's not really sure what he would really say in this type of situation.

Minseok seems to relax then, body losing all it's tension. "Good." He starts to turn away, but stops. "I know it's a long shot, but you wouldn't want to come, would you? Baekhyun's gonna be there too, I think."

Baekhyun, Kyungsoo remembers that name, that's the man he met on the street the other day and apparently knew who Kyungsoo was. He suddenly feels like he's the butt of a joke that everyone knows but him. "No, that's okay. I was gonna stop by and see how Sehun's holding up. Don't mention me though?"

A complicated look passes over Minseok's face, but it's gone before Kyungsoo can figure out what it means. "I can't lie about you forever, Kyungsoo."

"I know, I'm sorry. Just a little bit longer." He'll figure out everything soon, he promises himself.

It doesn't seem to appease Minseok, but he nods anyway before heading off into his room. Kyungsoo makes himself a coffee then hides out in his room until long after Minseok is gone. Then he makes his leave to see Sehun.

Sehun's lounging on the intact bench in nothing but his underwear when Kyungsoo arrives. "It's fifty degrees out," he comments, looking pointedly at the broken windows of the Space Needle. "And that bench is covered in filth."

Sehun shrugs. "I haven't had a shower in five days."

Normally, Kyungsoo would be disgusted, but he's been in similar situations to Sehun's before so he tries not to think about it too much. At least it's not summer. "How you holding up?"

"I'm bored, Kyungsoo."

"Yeah." He thinks about how easily Sehun says his name now, how easy it is to think of him as _Sehun_ and not _494_. It's like something has shifted in Sehun, making him...other. Not like his friends, or even Kyungsoo himself, but he's not like the others back at Manticore either. Maybe he never was. "Your face is healing up nicely."

Sehun reaches a hand up to gingerly touch at the bruising around his eye. It's almost gone now, mostly coming off as shadows from tiredness. Or smudged dirt. "Doesn't hurt anymore."

"And the rest of you?"

He shrugs again but doesn't comment. "I always bounce back." So does Kyungsoo.

"Can I ask you something about Manticore?" Sehun looks like he doesn't want to talk about anything in regards to Manticore, but nods anyway. Kyungsoo walks over to the closest table and pulls himself up on it to sit, clasping his hands together in his lap. "Do you know if they ever tampered with memories?"

He hits up and narrows his eyes at Kyungsoo. "Tampered how?"

Now it's Kyungsoo's turn to shrug. "Months ago, back before I ended up back there, I met one of the kids who used to be in my unit, Donghae. The one that was killed, remember? He stayed behind when we escaped. He talked about what was done to the other kids in our unit, in Manticore."

"Reprogramming."

"Yeah."

Sehun considers this. "And you're wondering if this was done to you?"

Kyungsoo thinks about it. He thinks about what he remembers, what he knows. He thinks about the months that he spent in Manticore and all the shit Yoochun has put him through. He thinks about HyunJong's conversation, the worry etched into his face. "No. Reprogramming consists of stripping you of everything that you are, your identity."

"We all have identities," Sehun points out.

"Your individuality, if you want to be literal." He rolls his eyes. "I'm not talking about reprogramming." Kyungsoo looks down at his hands. His fingers are cold, just the tips, they tingle a little bit. "They took something from me." It's weird, to finally admit it out loud, makes it real. "There's spots, holes in my memory."

He didn't hear Sehun get up, move closer to him but the sound of his voice so close makes Kyungsoo look up. "What makes you say that?" He's got the blanket wrapped around himself like a cape.

"Everyone keeps mentioning this name to me, looking at me like I should know who they're talking about." He feels sick, he never should've brought this up, but Kyungsoo doesn't know what to do, or how to figure this one out on his own. He doesn't have the heart to tell Minseok.

"It's that Junmyeon guy, isn't it? That's the name." Sehun tilts his head in a way that seems so very other. It's like he's thinking and putting together things all at once but then his eyes just shudder and he closes them and shakes his head. When Sehun opens his eyes again, he focuses on Kyungsoo. "And you think Manticore took your memories of him? Why?"

Kyungsoo shrugs again. "I don't know, it doesn't make sense."

"Okay." He turns away and begins to pace, thinking out loud. "What makes you think this Junmyeon guy is the one missing from your memories?"

"Minseok mentions him a lot, give me these meaningful looks and it's like I'm missing something extremely important every time he does so." The looks aren't so much meaningful, but more just disappointed, like Kyungsoo is doing something wrong. "He says that Junmyeon is worried about me."

"Why do you think that is?"

He glances at Sehun who's still pacing, eyes down on the ground. He's not wearing shoes. "Your guess is as good as mine." Feet bare against the dirty floor, leaving a different kind of foot print.

Eventually, Sehun seems to grow tired of it and walks back toward Kyungsoo, lifting himself up on the table as well. "Who would've thought living in the real world would be so complicated."

Kyungsoo snorts.

"I miss my bunk. At least it was clean."

He looks around the room. "We could clean this place up a bit. Make it homey for you."

Sehun makes a face. "That sounds like a lot of work."

"You said you were bored."

He groans dramatically, throwing his head back. "I don't want to put on pants."

Kyungsoo nudges him off the table. "I'm not all that interested in seeing the outline of your dick, but you don't hear me complaining about it." He trains his eyes outside the window, gazing upon the city of Seattle and it's tall buildings while Sehun puts on clothes. "We'll need to get some supplies," he comments, mostly to himself.

"Oh boy," Sehun says dryly. "Shopping."

"I took care of the immediate problem about those guys after you." He focuses back on Sehun, eyes taking in the dirt on his clothes. "We should be able to get to a few places without having to worry. But just to be on the safe side." He tosses Sehun a pair of sunglasses and a beanie. "And after everything, we'll see what we can do about getting you a nice hot shower, okay?"

Sehun puts the sunglasses on his face and pulls the beanie over his messy hair then glances around the room like he's never worn a pair before before settling on Kyungsoo. He doesn't particularly enjoy how he can't see Sehun's eyes past the dark lenses, but that's the whole point so he tries to get over it. "Is food part of that plan?"

Kyungsoo laughs, it's small but it's real, and it feels good. "Yeah, food can be apart of it."

"Then why are we hanging around here, I need some meat in me." He strolls past Kyungsoo and towards the exit, the long staircase down from the Space Needle.

 

*

 

It’s not often that Kyungsoo admits that he’s tired, but right now all he wants to do is sleep in his bed for an entire week, maybe longer. He doesn’t want to think about Sehun, he doesn’t want to go to Crash, and he does not want to think about Manticore. All he wants to do is strip down to his boxers and sleep.

“Oh thank God,” comes Sehun’s mumbled greeting when Kyungsoo opens his door. “We’ve been waiting for hours.”

It takes Kyungsoo a minute to catch up, staring at Sehun blankly before he can even think to ask, “What? Who is ‘we’?” He considers his own question before tacking on, “And why are you in my apartment?” That is another thing he’s not interested in thinking about. For some reason, one that Kyungsoo does not want to explore at this given moment in time, Sehun has been hanging around. Showing up when he least expects it, hanging out in Kyungsoo and Minseok’s apartment. It’s a low level annoying that he’s been able to ignore so far.

“Yoochun and HyunJong,” he hisses.

Kyungsoo has to take a deep breath and prepare himself, closing his eyes as he breathes in, forcing the tiredness in his body, his entire being, to go away just for a little longer.

When he lets the breath out again and opens his eyes he still doesn’t have the energy to deal with it all, makes it work anyway, casually walking into his apartment and hoping to whatever God there is that Minseok won’t come home in the middle of this. “Well this is a surprise.” He takes in Yoochun’s unsatisfied look as his eyes flick around Kyungsoo’s apartment. “To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Kyungsoo,” Yoochun says, voice sickeningly sweet. “When you said you had an apartment I wasn’t expecting something so,” he trails off with a pointed look. “Surely you could do much better.”

He schools his expression. “Times are tough, but I’m sure you wouldn’t understand that from your perch.” He leaves the three of them in the living room to drop his bag and jacket in his bedroom. “Remind me again why you’re here.” He leans against the door frame between the two rooms, keeping his posture loose and easy. They’re on his turf now, and Kyungsoo does not want to waste time by pretending to be a soldier he never was. “It’s not that I don’t enjoy surprise visits, I just don’t want you here.” He smiles at both Yoochun and HyunJong. “I’m sure you understand.”

Yoochun presses his lips together, not quite a frown but close enough. “I came to check on your progress. You seemed to be so displeased during our last meeting that I thought I would come to you, this time around.”

“It hasn’t been a week,” Kyungsoo replies.

Possibly tired of Kyungsoo’s mediocre couch, Yoochun stands. His long coat reaching his knees. Seems unnecessary in Kyungsoo’s opinion; it’s the middle of April, after all. “Yes, well since I came to you I decided to change the day.”

He narrows his eyes. “Are you expecting something to change solely because you decided to switch up the time constraints? Are you under the impression that time works and revolves around you, Yoochun?"

A dark look overcomes Yoochun's face and it makes Kyungsoo's heart beat quickly, racing in his chest with excitement. It's been awhile since he's talked back to Yoochun, not since he first woke up, strapped to that table in Manticore. He quite likes the thrill of it, the spark of danger that jolts through his spine. "Do you have a problem with the way I do things, 452?"

From the corner of his eye, Kyungsoo can see Sehun's weary expression, but he pays it no mind. "Not at all, Sir. Merely stating some observations." He forces himself not to smirk.

Yoochun looks him over, taking in his attire and his stance. "And what exactly have been your observations for the mission, 452?"

"Same ol', same ol." Kyungsoo rolls his shoulder not pressed against the door frame in a shrug.

From besides the couch, standing behind Yoochun with his back straight and his stance rigid, HyunJong says, "Need I remind you that this is not a game, 452."

Sparing a glance to HyunJong, Kyungsoo shakes his head. "I would never forget that."

"Then stop mouthing off, 452," Yoochun snaps. "You were sent here on a mission and so far all you seem to be doing is playing around."

Kyungsoo's easy posture falls away and he pushes himself from against the wall. "Have you forgotten that this mission you sent me on has no details, no facts, and no leads? You sent me on a goose chase."

Yoochun turns away from him, coat flapping with his movement. "If we gave you all the answers 452, what would we possibly need you for?"

"Now there's a good question, if you don't need me for a single mission, what need would you have for me at all? Can you answer that for me, Yoochun?"

Sehun looks like he wants to say something, do something, place himself in the middle of it all but he doesn't move. It's in this moment that Kyungsoo actually believes that this is Sehun's first mission. He is both relieved and worried, this is one hell of a mission to have as your first. Risky on top of it.

"It seems you didn't learn anything from our talks, 452," Yoochun says ominously. He can see the worry over taking Sehun's face. "Maybe we'll have to revisit them."

Kyungsoo's not really interested in that, but he's not really under the impression challenging Yoochun full on right now is a wise move. No doubt both Yoochun and HyunJong are packing heat and that's just a whole mess he does not want to deal with.

With a sigh, Kyungsoo rubs a hand over his face. "I've come up with a few leads, nothing solid, of who Eyes Only could be. My guess is it's someone with a lot of time on their hands, narrows down my search to about a fourth of the population."

He sees Sehun shoot him a sharp look. _When did you figure this out?_ it asks, Kyungsoo wants to roll his eyes. He doesn't offer anything back and keeps his attention focused on Yoochun who seems to be trying to uncoil himself. HyunJong says nothing.

"When were you going to follow this lead?"

Kyungsoo shrugs even though Yoochun isn't facing him. "Tomorrow, probably."

Yoochun clicks his tongue, turning back around. "Tonight, both you and Sehun will start combing the city, following your lead."

"Excuse me?"

"Do I need to repeat myself, 452?" Yoochun asks.

"Yeah, actually, because it sounds like you just said I was looking for your guy tonight." He crosses his arms, holding his ground. "And I get it, you're in charge, but if this is my mission, I believe how I conduct it and complete it should be up to me, since I'm the one out here risking my butt for you."

HyunJong steps up them, focusing a glare on Kyungsoo. "You were given an order, 452, and you will follow it."

"I don't think that's how this works, HyunJong, not out here."

"Kyungsoo," Sehun pipes in, voice low and soft, Kyungsoo can barely hear it over the rushing of his own blood in his ears.

"You will follow the orders you are given, 452."

Kyungsoo glares at HyunJong, ignoring Sehun calling his name again. "You will get out of my face, HyunJong."

Yoochun takes a step closer to him then, smile plastered on his face. "Have I not been generous, 452? I mean, Kyungsoo. That is your name after all, isn't it?" He clasps his hands behind his back taking leisurely steps in front of Kyungsoo, casually pacing the floor. "I let you keep your name, your job, your excuse for a home." His fancy dress shoes click on the hardwood floor, echoing through the room. "I feel I've been extremely generous, don't you think?"

Kyungsoo clenches his teeth and glares.

"Don't look at me like that, Kyungsoo." Yoochun mock pouts. "I've given you everything you asked for, and yet you seem to continue to fight me. I have nothing left to offer you, Kyungsoo."

"I guess that puts us at a stand still."

Yoochun hums, fake smile splitting his face in two. "I could start taking things away," he offers. "Let's see, what would hurt you most?" He looks around the apartment, eyes drifting over the few possessions Kyungsoo has, but nothing he cares about. Eventually his eyes fall on Kyungsoo's motorcycle. "Ah," he says sweetly.

Strolling over the machine, to Kyungsoo's prize, a sick feeling grows in the pit of Kyungsoo's stomach, but he doesn't let it show. "This looks like it's the most expensive thing you own. Tell me Kyungsoo, how did you get it?"

He says nothing.

Yoochun runs a hand over the sleek body, crouches to admire the engine work. "It's very beautiful, bet it runs like a dream."

He still says nothing.

Sighing Yoochun pulls off one of his leather gloves. He dances his fingers along the metal of the engine, playing along the small pipes. "You always make things so difficult, Kyungsoo." His fingers stop and he digs them into one of the small crevices of the engine, wiggling them around until Kyungsoo is positive he's got a hold of something. "I wonder what happens if I do this," he says then rips something out.

Kyungsoo closes his eyes, refuses to look, but doesn't let anything show on his face.

"Nothing?" Yoochun let's whatever he ripped out fall to the ground noisily. "I was hoping that would get you."

After a couple of breaths, Kyungsoo opens his eyes again just as Yoochun is putting his hands in the pockets of his slacks.

"Maybe possessions aren't where your heart lies," he muses, strolling casually back to where Kyungsoo stands. "Maybe...your friend Minseok knows the answer."

Against his better judgement, Kyungsoo lets himself react. He grabs a fistful of Yoochun's coat and swings them around, shoving Yoochun against the wall, hard, pressing his forearm against Yoochun's throat. "Stay the fuck away from Minseok."

"Have I struck a cord?"

"I'll strike one of your cords if you lay a--" He hears the click of a gun, the press of cold metal against his skull.

"Stand down, 452," HyunJong says.

Kyungsoo doesn't move. "Or what?" It's incredibly stupid, he knows it is, but he's so fucking tired of all the bullshit. He wants just one moment to figure something out without any added stress or pressure. He wants Yoochun to stop breathing down his neck. He wants to get Sehun comfortable so he stops trailing Kyungsoo around. He wants to figure out what the hell is going on.

"I'll be forced to shoot you. I don't want to hurt you, 452."

He smirks, eyes dancing across Yoochun's face. His perfectly styled hair is ruffled and a mess now, shirt collar bunched up from Kyngsoo's arm. In this moment, he looks like any other man Kyungsoo has seen on the street. In this single moment, Kyungsoo thinks he could take him. "So don't." He reaches his free hand into Yoochun's coat and finds another gun. Pulling it out, Kyungsoo tosses it to Sehun, who catches it with ease. By the sound of it, he flicks off the safety and points it on HyunJong. A small burst of pride at his loyalty wells up in Kyungsoo's chest.

"What do you think this will accomplish, Kyungsoo?" Yoochun asks.

"I don't know, that's what makes it all the more exciting, don't you think?"

Yoochun laughs. "You know, there's a reason why I didn't have them reprogram you. You're lively, daring. You'll do whatever you have to." Kyungsoo frowns. "I enjoy that about you. Although your independent streak is a pain."

"My heart bleeds for you."

The room falls silent, and everyone remains still. Sehun, gun pointed at HyunJong; HyunJong, gun pointed at Kyungsoo; Kyungsoo ready to choke Yoochun to death; and Yoochun just smiles.

"HyunJong," he says finally. "Put your gun down."

Hesitation. "Sir?"

"It's alright, put it down."

The metal is removed from the side of Kyungsoo's head, safety clicked back on. Sehun seems to do the same. Reluctantly, Kyungsoo lets Yoochun go, taking a few steps back until he's next to Sehun.

"This visit has proven to be most entertaining," Yoochun says, straightening out his clothes then running a hand through his hair. His eyes flip to Sehun, eyeing the gun but saying nothing. "I hope our next one is just as good." He lets that dangle in the air between them before striding out of the apartment, HyunJong following behind him. Kyungsoo doesn't breathe until he hears the door close behind them.

"Kyungsoo," Sehun says moments later, voice just barely above a whisper.

"Don't," Kyungsoo snaps and starts searching through the apartment for any cameras or bugs. He finds two in the living room and one is his room. He crushes them under the sole of his shoe. "Okay, what?"

"Did you really find a lead?"

Kyungsoo blinks, staring blankly at Sehun. "No. No, I'm not having this conversation right now. You need to leave."

"But Kyungsoo--"

"Get out of my apartment!" He shouts. He doesn't mean too. Kyungsoo actually feels bad about it after the fact but he can't bring himself to say sorry, he's too wound up, high strung with a new sense of dread pooling in his stomach. Everything just got ten times more serious and he has no idea what to do. Less of an idea than before, even.

There's the slam of a door and it startles Kyungsoo, causing him to turn his glare on Minseok. "Why are you yelling?"

 _Nothing_ , he wants to say. Everything is telling him to lie, to brush Minseok's concerns off, and something on his face must betray him if the look Minseok has is anything to go by. "Yoochun and HyunJong were here. They were in our apartment and Yoochun mentioned you. You're no longer safe and it's all my fault." And it's then that it really sinks in. They know Minseok's name, his face, everything. "Fuck!"

Minseok's with him in an instant, gripping his shoulders and trying to ground him. "I'm fine, see? Everything's fine."

" _But they know_." Kyungsoo is beyond frustrated, voice nearly cracking with how worked up he is. "They know who you are and nothing will stop Yoochun from doing what he wants, Minseok."

A complicated look passes over Minseok's face. He looks over his shoulder at Sehun, "Get him a glass of water," he says then directs Kyungsoo to their couch. Their fucking tainted couch that Yoochun sat on. "We'll burn it and get a new one," Minseok says, and oh, apparently he said that out loud.

Sehun comes over with the glass of water, crouches down on the floor in front of them and hands it to Kyungsoo. His face is etched with worry, creases between his eyebrows.

Minseok makes him drink the entire glass before speaking again. "I think it's time you told Junmyeon that you're back, don't you?"

Kyungsoo groans, tipping his head back. He can feel Minseok look at him, suspicious.

"What? What excuse do you have now?" He demands. "You're having a nervous breakdown because of Manticore and you still won't ask the one person you know that can help us. Why?"

Kyungsoo rubs a hand over his head furiously. "I didn't escape Manticore."

"What?"

He looks at Sehun who conveniently keeps his eyes cast downwards on the floor. "When I came back, you assumed that I escaped, but I didn't." Kyungsoo sucks in a big breath. "Yoochun sent me out here on a mission with Sehun." There’s a dead silence at that, Minseok staring at Kyungsoo with such an unreadable expression that he has to steel himself to keep going, knowing that he can’t lie any longer, not with how everything seems to be turning out. "The plan was to let Yoochun think I was working on the mission but really I was going to think of a way to get rid of Manticore."

"What?" Sehun asks, head snapping up. "You're going to destroy Manticore?"

Kyungsoo presses fingers against his left eye until he sees spots. "Not now Sehun, please."

"When were you going to tell me?"

"Never?" He isn't sure why he makes it sound like a question, he wasn't going to tell Sehun, he owes Sehun nothing, but part of him no longer feels okay with just abandoning him like that. He doesn't want to look into it too deeply. "Look, it's not important right now, okay?"

Sehun opens his mouth to start again but Minseok cuts in. "Kyungsoo's right." A complicated look passes over his face. "Ignoring that you lied, what does this have to do with Junmyeon?"

Kyungsoo turns away, refusing to look at Minseok and hoping that Sehun will keep his mouth shut. "I don't want him in the middle of this."

"Cut the crap Kyungsoo," Minseok bites. "Baekhyun told me what happened."

"Excuse me?"

"How you acted like you didn't know him." His face is full of worry and concern. "How you guys never got along, but you never wrote him off so completely before."

"Okay," he says. He suddenly feels bone tired again. Not even. Before he was just tired, but now it seems to run deep, down to his very core and sapping him of all his energy. He rubs at his eyes again. "What do you want me to say, Minseok?"

"I want to know the truth."

He laughs mirthlessly. "The truth." Minseok and Sehun say nothing, letting him stew in that. "The truth is I don't remember." He swallows thickly then turns his head to look at Minseok. "I have no idea who Baekhyun is and every time you mention Junmyeon I'm scrambling to figure out how to respond because I don't remember him either."

Minseok looks disappointed in him, but more than anything he looks tired as well. He sighs and looks at his hands in his lap. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Because I needed to know the reason why I can't remember, I didn't want to say anything to you until then."

"Kyungsoo, when has keeping secrets ever worked out well for you?"

He doesn't respond to that. Instead he looks at Sehun who has a pensive look on his face but keeps his mouth shut as he sits on the floor. The three of them don't say anything for a long time, just sitting there under the weight of all the truths Kyungsoo's told, and the reality pressing down upon them. Kyungsoo needs to figure out what to do, and he needs to do it fast.

 

*

 

All week Kyungsoo has been doing his damnedest to get Sehun off his trail and out of his hair, and all week no matter what he does, nothing works. Don't get Kyungsoo wrong, he doesn't hate the guy, not like he did when they first met. There's something different between Sehun and 494. Sehun has softer edges, a sense of humor, smiles while 494 would ask how high to jump before you even told him to do so. Kyungsoo thinks it has something to do with the constricting atmosphere of Manticore, but he also thinks that deep down, Sehun's just a kid and to him the world outside Manticore is a big place that allows him to be who he pleases.

That being said, Kyungsoo is having a hard time dealing with, well, everything. He feels like the walls are closing in on him, like no matter how much he tries he can’t get enough air into his lungs. He feels like he’s drowning in an endless, deep sea and that he’s going to suffocate before he reaches the bottom.

Everyday since Kyungsoo was ten, he has felt like the entire world rests on his shoulders, and that is no different now. The weight only seems to have grown in the past few days since Kyungsoo’s reveal. He’s not proud of it, but he’s taken to hiding out in his room mostly, something very unusual for him even before all this mess started up. While Kyungsoo was never the most sociable person, he never avoided Minseok, and would always go out with their friends after work, now he’s not even attempting to think up excuses, just turning them down and going home.

Sadly, it’s not as easy to shake Sehun. Minseok seems to understand that Kyungsoo needs time to re-acclimate himself with this new reality, though he’s not happy about it, Sehun on the other hand is missing minor social cues. Like leaving people alone when they want to be left alone. He’s not sure if it’s just a flaw with Sehun and the manticore upbringing, or if it has something to do with Sehun’s new found loyalty to Kyungsoo. For all he knows it could just be a by product of Sehun wanting to know about Kyungsoo’s plan to destroy Manticore.

Now that he thinks about it, the third one seems more likely than any of the other options.

What Kyungsoo really needs is some sense of normalcy back in his life. Something from before. It’s with that thought that Kyungsoo takes a long, hot shower to wash all the frustration off of himself and dresses in his all black attire for catburglaring.

“Can you even breathe in those pants?” Sehun asks when Kyungsoo leaves his room, slipping his leather jacket on and pulling on a pair of leather gloves.

He looks down at his black skinny jeans. “Yes.”

Sehun casts a skeptical look at him, but lets it go. “Where are you off to?”

“I didn't know I had to inform you of my activities, but it’s none of your business.”

“There’s no need to be rude.” Sehun pops something into his mouth, possibly candy if the crinkling sound of a wrapper is anything to go by. “I’m just trying to be friendly, Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo strides over to his motorcycle and turns the key in the ignition, revving the engine when it starts to make sure everything is working. Somehow, by the grace of God or whatever, he was able to fix Yoochun’s unholy disgrace of mistreatment, but it would be a lie to say that Kyungsoo doesn’t still feel a twinge of doubt and unease each time he looks at his baby. “Save it, I don’t need more people to worry about,” he replies once he turns the engine back off. Kicking up the stand, Kyungsoo starts to lead his bike out of the apartment, keeping an ear on Sehun to make sure he stays put.

“When will you be back?”

Bike sitting out in the hall, Kyungsoo stops with his hand on the door knob and looks back into the living room where Sehun lounges on the couch. “Late, don’t wait up.”

The streets are slick with rain, shining in the street lights and giving off a sheen from his motorcycle headlight as the air leaves a cold burn against Kyungsoo’s cheeks. It leaves him breathless, each passing of air in and out of his chest burning while he speeds down the empty streets of Seattle. This is what Kyungsoo lives for, these dark moments when the city has died down and no one is out. He’s missed this. Missed the thrill, the freedom. He kicks up the speed a notch.

If he could, this is all Kyungsoo would do, ride his bike day in and day out, never stopping, never interacting with anyone. It wouldn’t matter where he was going because locations aren’t the important part, just the speed and the feel of his motorcycle between his legs, pushing him on and on and on, going as fast as possible then going even faster.

Kyungsoo lives for this; would die for this.

For just this one moment, nothing exists but this.

 

*

 

Kyungsoo's been watching the building for days, keeping a tally of every man and woman that goes in and out of the building, the way they dress, the way they act, and any items they've been carrying on their person. He's been scanning the windows as well, especially the ones on the top floor when he's made a few deliveries to surrounding buildings. There's a benefit to being in the old financial district, he feels. Yeah, while ten years ago the country received a serious blow and what everyone thought was another super power country was really just a broke super power country, some people still have money in their back pockets. In the city of Seattle, a lot of those people live here.

He's never given this area much thought before, but when you're strapped for cash and have a very limited skill set, you find your way around.

Kyungsoo pointedly ignores the money that gets wired to a bank account in his name every month. Part of him, the more desperate part that's used to scraping by and taking what you can get when you can get it no matter how small, wants to take the money and put it towards something useful. Or give it to Minseok even, Kyungsoo sure as hell feels like he owes him. But then there's the darker part of him, the part that resents Manticore and everything it stands for and everything they've done to him. That part looks at the money with disgust and has a few choice words on where he'd like to tell them to put that money.

In the end, it just sits there, steadily growing and constantly taunting, and Kyungsoo resorts to this.

Theft.

He scans the windows from the building across the way, looking for the prime target this evening when something catches his eye. It's small from this distance, hard to see even with his superior vision, but it's shiny and Kyungsoo's sure that there's more where that came from and it brings a small smile to his face.

Slipping through vents is not Kyungsoo's favorite past time, but he'll admit it gets the job done usually, allowing him to slip quickly and silently into an apartment.

He slips the small bag from off his back as he scans the apartment for anything that looks of true value, glancing at the items quickly as he drops them into the soft canvas. He tries to keep his ears open, listen to sounds of life in the apartment, someone sneaking up behind him, but all is quiet until a light flicks on behind him, signaling someone else in the room. Kyungsoo's heart nearly stops in shock. How could he have missed that?

Clenching his hand around his bag of goodies Kyungsoo beings to quickly weigh his choices. He could turn around and face whoever is there and try to charm his way out of this, which probably won't work given his history so he'll have to fight his way out of this, or he could book it right here and now and pawn this the next chance he gets. Decisions, decisions.

The choice is taken out of his hands when the person behind him speaks, "Kyungsoo?" The sound of his name comes out so small and weak, as if the owner of the voice is shaken to their very core at the presence of Kyungsoo. But what has Kyungsoo shaken, honestly trembling in his very shoes, is the fact that this man, this stranger knows his name.

He whips around quickly, glaring daggers at the man with his open and venerable expression. "You seem to have me at a disadvantage," he says, corner of his mouth tipping up in a smirk but the hard set of his eyes more or less stay. "You know my name, but I don't know yours." He gives the man a once over, taking in his average height and wild dark brown hair. In the shadow of the lamp next to him, Kyungsoo isn't sure if he sees a few days old stubble growing or if it's just what it appears, shadows. There are prominent bags under his eyes behind his glasses, dark against the pale cast of his skin.

The man before him looks as if he wants to laugh and cry at the same time. "Is that a joke? I know that our history is a little spotty to the everyday person, but really?"

Kyungsoo's smirk falls away. "I'm afraid I don't follow." Something in his stomach lurches uncomfortably at the way the man's face falls, heartbreak written all over it. "Refresh my memory for me."

He takes in a shuddering breath, closing his eyes before exhaling. "My name is Junmyeon."

 _There it is_. There _he_ is. That name that keeps popping up wherever Kyungsoo goes, constantly being mentioned to him. "Sorry," he says. "Doesn't ring a bell." And even though it bares a level truth, Kyungsoo can't help the deep, endless guilt that builds up inside him at the indescribable look that finds itself a home on Junmyeon's face.

It takes him a minute, a minute in which Kyungsoo honestly could've bailed with the items he's collected but he feels that he should stick around anyway, for Junmyeon to collect himself. In the time it takes him to do so, he walks away from Kyungsoo, removing his glasses. He turns into a room that Kyungsoo can't see into and for a second, his curiosity gets the better of him but he stays put, listening as Junmyeon moves around.

He returns with a tumbler in his hand, hair even more wild and ruffled than before, as if he ran his hands through it in frustration. "So you came to rob me." He leans against the open doorway between the room Kyungsoo stands in and the room his disappeared into.

Kyungsoo forces his body to relax, shoulders lowering from their wound up position, posture smoothing out from a tightly wound spring. He lets a neutral smirk take over his face and shrugs. "Gotta eat somehow."

Junmyeon lets out a small chuckle and looks away, down at the floor. "I suppose that would be an issue. Can I ask why me, why here?"

He considers this and rolls his shoulders, flexing his fingers around the bag in his grasp. "I mean, it's not as swanky as the high rollers in the some other sectors, but sector nine? The previous financial district, it's prime real estate if you know where to look."

"And I'm guessing you know where to look."

Kyungsoo shrugs. "I know what to look for."

Junmyeon glances up, looking through his lashes. "And my apartment just happened to be the lucky one this evening?"

He hums noncommittally. "You should learn to keep your valuables locked away if you don't want them stolen."

"Now where's the fun in that?" Kyungsoo scans the the hallway, the closed doors on his left and right side form the one behind Junmyeon, the entrance to the apartment down at the end in front of him and narrows his eyes in suspicion. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were up to something, Kyungsoo"

"Nothing gets past you, does it?" Kyungsoo replies. He pulls the bag in his hands closed, keeping his eyes on Junmyeon and his sense of the apartment open. "And that's another thing, how do you know my name?"

Junmyeon takes a sip from his glass, keeps his eyes locked with Kyungsoo's. "We have history," he says finally.

"History."

He nods.

"Care to go more in depth with that?" He slips the bag onto his back, slowly growing wary, but he isn't sure of what yet.

"I could," Junmyeon says. "But I guess it's not that important if you don't remember."

"I guess not," Kyungsoo agrees. "My memory has always been a bit spotty." He gives Junmyeon a once over and grins darkly. "Jaded ex-boyfriend, perhaps? Or is it a one-night stand that couldn't let go?" Even as he lists them off, Kyungsoo doesn't pin Junmyeon to be the type. No, there's something else that he can't put his finger on, and it bothers him.

Junmyeon only smiles, it's wide but hollow, never reaching his eyes. He finishes the amber liquid in his glass before turning his back to Kyungsoo as he leans in the room to put his glass down. When he faces Kyungsoo once more he's slipping his glasses back onto his face, smile still in place. "I guess you'll just have to figure that one out, won't you?"

He narrows his eyes once more and takes a step back from Junmyeon. "Do I get a last name with that?"

"Kim. Junmyeon Kim."

Kyungsoo mulls that over and gives a curt nod before he turns and books it out of the apartment, diving perfectly through a window and hearing the glass shatter as he free falls numerous stories until he gets dangerously close to another roof top, tucking his body in such a way that he rolls with barely touching the building before he gets to his feet and can take off in a sprint to where he left his bike a few blocks away.

 

*

 

“You’re a piece of work these days, you know that?” Minseok’s voice cuts through Kyungsoo’s dreams, effectively waking him up.

He lets out a groan and rolls over in his bed, trying to burrow deeper into his covers. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he rasps, voice rough with sleep. “But I don’t really care at the moment.”

The covers are snatched from atop his body and the cold air of the morning hits his bare skin with a snap. “You robbed Junmyeon? I gotta say, that’s a new low for you.”

“Are you seriously going to lecture me?” Kyungsoo forces his eyes open to glare at Minseok who stands at the foot of his bed, covers hanging mostly off the bed and his hands. “Because it’s too early for this.”

“You knew Junmyeon was your friend and you stole for him!”

He curses under his breath and rolls onto his back. They really are doing this right now, fuck his life. Kyungsoo forces himself up and out of bed, stretching his limbs until they pop in the most satisfying way then makes his way to the bathroom, floor chilly under his feet.

“Don’t walk away from me Kyungsoo!”

“Fuck, can’t I take a piss in peace before you start giving me a hard time?” He slams the bathroom door behind himself and walks up to the toilet to relieve himself. It’s that one single moment of bliss, where nothing matters except that sweet feeling of release. It’s almost as good as sex, he decides. This is possibly one of his most favorite things in the world, coming in third right after sex at a solid second and riding his motorcycle at number one.

Once he’s done and decides he can’t stall anymore, Kyungsoo quickly washes his hands and leaves the bathroom, ignoring Minseok’s glare as he walks past him and into the kitchen which is occupied by, surprise, surprise. “What the hell, Sehun?” He rubs a hand over his face. It’s too early for all of this. “What was the point in fixing up the Space Needle if you’re always here?”

Sehun shrugs and continues to raid their fridge.

He groans and puts a pot on for coffee before finally turning to face Minseok. “Okay, let's hear it.”

“You robbed Junmyeon.”

Kyungsoo nods. “Yes, we covered that part already. Next?”

Minseok stares at him in disbelief. “Is that all you really have to say?”

“Did you forget the conversation we had, oh, three ago where I told you that _I don’t remember him_?” He turns back to the pot of water to check on it before getting out three mugs for coffee. “I had no idea it was the guy until he told me his name.”

“And you still did it?”

He tightens his grip around the jar of instant coffee as he scoops some into each mug. “What do you want me to say, Minseok? That seeing the guy striked some sudden inspiration in me and I saw the error of my ways? Or that I suddenly remember everything I’m missing from the past God knows how long? Or anything that is equally as improbable as either of those things?” He glances up through his lashes at Minseok to see the most unimpressed look on his face.

“You don’t have to be an ass about it.”

Kyungsoo scoffs. “I’m not sure how else you expect me to react when you're accusing me of being some heartless bastard.”

Minseok sighs and the room falls silent. Sehun stands off to the side, eating some bread and jam while Kyungsoo finishes fixing their coffee. “When you found out who it was, why didn’t you leave the stuff behind? Why’d you still do it?”

He opens his mouth with a quick response but then stops to think about it. Why didn’t he leave Junmyeon’s things behind? Kyungsoo doesn’t really know. He supposes it has something to do with the fact of how off he felt, his whole worldview shifted. It was one thing to hear of a person who supposedly knows about him and who he is, _what he is_ , but it was another to be confronted with it. Something in Kyungsoo just stopped working and he must have panicked, or something.

“Honestly?” Kyungsoo asks, voice carefully controlled. He keeps his eyes on the coffee as he pours in the water. “I don’t know. I just acted, mostly.”

For a while, none of them say anything and Kyungsoo just sips at his coffee, back to the rest of the room as he leans against the island counter. “Do you think,” Minseok starts, long after Kyungsoo has finished his coffee but is too chicken to turn around and make himself another. “Do either of you think that it’s possible to fix this? To get your lost memories back?”

He swallows around the lump in his throat. “I don’t know. I’ve never heard about anything like this before. Sehun?”

He hears the ruffle of fabric, Sehun shrugging maybe. “You’re guess is a good as mine.”

Nothing else is said, but when Kyungsoo finally gains the courage to turn around, Minseok has left the room.

 

*

 

It’s only been a day since the Junmyeon reveal before Kyungsoo is home alone for once, Minseok out wherever and Sehun not lurking in his shadow. He’s both pleased for it and not sure what to do with the time he has to himself. He knows there are things he _should_ be doing, like looking for Eyes Only, coming up with a Manticore take down plan, but instead he finds himself laying in bed and staring at his ceiling.

It’s cold for April, the chill seeping into the apartment, but even still, Kyungsoo lounges in a tank top and boxers, covers thrown about on his bed. When the phone rings from the other room he merely glances at his door way but doesn’t move otherwise.

It rings and rings until the beep for the answer machine goes off and begins to record.

 _Hey Kyungsoo, it’s, uh, Junmyeon._ A pause. _Before you were taken, you had me looking into some things for you, I used some contacts with the S1W to ask around back then, and a little while you were gone, but only just now something got back to me. There’s another transgenic in the city, if you’re interested in finding them still. Call me back when you can._

The machine beeps again, leaving the apartment in silence. Kyungsoo doesn’t know what to do with that, mind reeling from the thought of someone else now in the city, especially with Yoochun and HyunJong lurking around, and on top of this Junmyeon just knowing about him and his siblings, what they are and what they can do. He doesn’t know what to make of it all. After a few minutes of contemplation he rolls out of bed with a sigh, and pulls on a pair of loose dark blue jeans and a sweatshirt.

Once he pulls on his shoes and heads out into the living room, Kyungsoo glances at his bike but decides to leave it behind; he doesn’t really have the focus for that right now, no matter how soothing it is to ride around the city.

Outside is just as overcast as it has been the last few days, he finds the irony of it and how it matches his mood. With his hands stuffed into the kangaroo pouch pocket, he starts his trek to Junmyeon’s, remembering the large apartment’s location with ease.

For once, Kyungsoo’s not really taking in his surroundings, just walking down the street like everyone else, but he’s distantly aware of the rapid thump of footsteps on damp pavement. Seconds later there’s a body colliding with Kyungsoo’s own, forcing him into the real world and not half hovering there and in his brain with his thoughts.

The person is slim, very slim, and a few inches shorter than him with long light brown hair that reaches mid way down her back. She staggers on her feet a bit before whipping around to glare at him, hair like a curtain blowing in the breeze as she moves. “Don’t you watch where you’re going?” she snaps.

Kyungsoo can’t respond for a long moment, staring at her narrow face that he remembers was once so round, but maybe it’s just the way she’s holding herself. “Byulyi,” he breathes out, barely finding his voice.

She narrows her eyes to slits. “Who are you?”

At a loss for words he turns around and shows her the back of his neck, the stark contrast of his barcode against the pale skin there. When he looks at her again, her face is just as closed off, but not as hard as before.

Kyungsoo licks his lips and manages to find his voice. “What are you doing here?” _You shouldn’t be here,_ he wants to say, _it’s dangerous._ She should be dead, he realizes after a moment. Donghae said she was dead, along with all the others, but here she stands in front of him. Alive. And it occurs to him, that maybe this the who Junmyeon was talking about. He didn’t really want to believe it, but it’s hard to deny the evidence when it’s staring you in the face.

“Trying to protect myself, which seems to be more than I can say for you.” Her voice is harsh, and lower than he would have thought it would be, but still familiar somehow.

“Is someone after you?”

Byulyi’s eyes dart over him, as if cataloging his face. “It’s none of your business.”

“Maybe I can help.” He desperately wants to, Kyungsoo realizes. It’s a shockingly foreign feeling to him, he spent so long trying to find the others with no luck, making it all he cared about aside from Minseok and the frew other friends he had. After so many years of nothing turning up, and Donghae, and then past few months, Kyungsoo has hardened himself and closed off his feelings for the most part. He wonders, distantly, what he would’ve done if he had gone to Junmyeon and heard about this other wandering X5. Would he have even gone to find them? “HyunJong was in the city just the other day, I have no idea if he’s gone yet or not, but I wouldn’t count on it.”

“Why would you help me?”

“Because you’re my sister,” he replies without hesitation.

If it has any effect on her, Byulyi doesn’t show it, but she does nod in agreement and takes a few steps toward him. It’s started misting in the meantime, the dark clouds over head deciding they no longer wanted to be kind, and the drops of water cling to her long hair.

“Come on,” he jerks his head in the direction he was headed, now that he’s confirmed for himself that there is in fact another transgenic in the city, he needs to know what Junmyeon knows. “We’ll take the back streets.” And without another word, he leads the way.

 

*

 

There’s something familiar about the elevator up to Junmyeon’s swanky penthouse apartment, but only just so. It nudges in the back of his mind, though it’s nothing concrete. It feels more like a dream than anything else.

“Swanky place,” Byulyi says, all the hint of judgement evident in her voice.

“Not mine.” When the elevator digs, his moves forward, opening the door like he’s been doing it for years, like he’s known Junmyeon for years and not days. Or maybe he has. He doesn’t know.

He hears her mutter, “Pretty familiar with it if it’s not yours,” but chooses not to answer.

Kyungsoo finds Junmyeon in his office area, sitting at a computer and typing away, seemingly unaware of Kyungsoo and Byulyi’s presence in his apartment. “I'm surprised you’re not dead with how unaware you are.” He feels a thrill of satisfaction when Junmyeon jumps in his desk chair, whipping around to stare at Kyungsoo.

His face is open and unguarded and he looks at Kyungsoo with disbelief in his eyes for a brief moment, like he can’t believe what he’s seeing, like he wants to reach out and touch. Junmyeon forces himself to relax though, running a hand through his hair and clearing his throat.

“You didn’t have to come all this way,” he says. “I said call me back.”

Kyungsoo shrugs and glances around the room, taking stock of the place and trying to get a feel on this guy. “I have my reasons for coming here.”

The three of them remain silent, Byulyi standing stiffly outside of the room, back ramrod straight and radiating nothing but unease, distrust and displeasure. Kyungsoo is half in the room half out, leaning his back against the doorway of what appears to be some fancy sliding door. Swanky indeed.

He focuses back on Junmyeon who seems to be looking anywhere but his face. “I can’t help but wonder,” he says, suddenly wishing he had found Byulyi after this conversation rather than before. “How you found out about the supposed transgenic in the city.” He wills Byulyi not to react, and for the most part, she doesn’t, but he can feel her piercing gaze on him and knows he’ll have to explain things later.

“I explained it on the phone. While you--”

Kyungsoo huffs and rolls his eyes. “That’s not a real answer.”

“Then what is a real answer, Kyungsoo?” Finally, Junmyeon looks at him, his expression unreadable. “I do not have to explain myself to you, despite what you seem to think. I wanted to help you, and that is what I did. After everything that happened, and the other day, I figured I would offer an olive branch.”

He tilts his head to the side, ever so sightly. Assessing. “You know I could kill you, right?”

Junmyeon seems to freeze at that.

“You know what I am, what I can do, so you must know I can kill you without much of a thought.” Kyungsoo takes a good look at Junmyeon form head to toe and something catches his eye. He does another scan of the room and spots a wheelchair in the corner. “Something tells me your legs aren’t so reliable, Junmyeon.”

There’s a shadow of something that passes over Junmyeon’s face, something that could possibly be fear, but Kyungsoo isn’t sure. “Are you threatening me?”

Scoffing, Kyungsoo pushes away from the wall. “I don’t threaten, you should know this.”

“You also don't stand imposingly in the corner with an attack dog at your side, but I guess there’s a first for everything.”

In the corner of his eye, he see Byulyi shift, stance becoming more defensive, like she’s either ready to bolt or tear Junmyeon a new one. He’s not sure he wants to find out which is more likely so he sighs. “I need to know what tipped your friends off.”

Junmyeon leans back in his chair, forcing himself to relax. “Why?”

“Because,” he growls through his teeth, growing tired of this pointless conversation. “There are people after her and I need to know why and what to look out for.”

“ _What are you doing? _” Byulyi hisses.__

He sees Junmyeon focus his attention on her finally, really looking. “She’s your sister, isn’t she?” He asks, something akin to wonder in his voice. Kyungsoo wants to ask what the hell _that_ is about, but now is not the time.

“Junmyeon!” Kyungsoo snaps and closes the small distance between them. “I will take apart your entire computer system piece by piece if you do not start talking this second.”

Junmyeon doesn’t look frightened, but he does look put off. Good, Kyungsoo thinks, the more he’s wary of Kyungsoo the better.

He rubs at his face and sighs, looking away from Kyungsoo and Byulyi both. “One of the S1W, someone Baekhyun works particularly close with, was up in sector two by the shipyard. There’s a military base up there, said she overheard something about cashing in big because the General Davis got his hands on a transgenic, or was closing in on one.”

Kyungsoo looks at Byulyi. “Is that where you came from?”

She stares at him for a minute before nodding. “I lost them in the woods for a while, but once I got here I saw a few guys in uniform wandering around.”

“Shit.” Kyungsoo presses his fingers against his eyelids until he sees spots. “Okay, we can deal with this. I’ve gotten out of worse situations before.”

An odd look passes over Junmyeon’s face, but it’s gone before Kyungsoo can really register it. “Right. Do you need anything else?”

“No, we should be going.”

Junmyeon nods. “Call next time, please.” His voice is strained and he refuses to look at Kyungsoo. Something is wrong here, but he doesn’t have time to worry about it right now so instead of responding he turns away and leads Byulyi out and back to the elevator.

Once the door is closed firmly behind them and they’re making their journey down, Byulyi speaks. “What the hell was that?”

Kyungsoo shrugs. “At lot has happened in the last few months. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Can you at least explain why someone knows about us?”

He shakes his head.

“What the fuck Kyungsoo?” He never imagined Byulyi cursing, and even now with them both as adults and her sudden hard exterior it’s still jarring to witness. “Is he at least trust worthy?”

Kyungsoo licks his lips. “Yes,” he says and finds himself believing it as well. “I wouldn’t have taken you if I didn't think so.”

She doesn’t say anything more until they reach the lobby of the building and are slipping back out onto the street. “Any other surprises?”

He chuckles. “Everyday is a surprise.”

She shoves at his shoulder from behind. “I mean like that? Other people knowing?”

He shrugs. “There’s another transgenic in the city, X5 like us.” Kyungsoo glances at her to see her reaction, but it’s perfectly neutral.

“Who?”

“One you don’t know. Not one of us. He’s young tho, or seems that way, but he’s no younger than us really.”

Byulyi seems to mull this over as they walk, following where Kyungsoo takes her. It’s raining out, and she’s pulled a hood up over her head, but the longer trails of her hair that stick out are already wet. “How’d you find him?”

Kyungsoo considers the truth, but still isn’t sure how to talk about that. “Chance,” he says instead.

They’re quiet until they reach the space needle and then Kyungsoo stops before continuing inside and up. “Sehun crashes here mostly, though sometimes he shows up at my apartment. This is about the safest place for you if you don’t want to stay with me, but it’s whatever you decide.”

He knows that once they get to the top he’s going to have to _talk_ and explain things and he’s not looking forward to it. Already he can tell Byulyi is very no nonsense and he’s not sure how she’d take his reluctant alliance with Manticore currently but he figures it’s best to put all cards on the table now.

Sehun’s laying on one of the booth chairs once they get to the top, holding a book over his face. “Why didn’t they give us books in Manticore?”

Kyungsoo doesn’t know if he’s being serious or if this is a rhetorical question. “Because that would spark free will and ideas.”

Sehun huffs. “But they’re interesting.”

He lets Sehun enjoy his book for another minute, taking in how relaxed he seems. The Space Needle looks pretty nice now, if Kyungsoo can say so. They covered the broken and missing windows with plastic and tape, and while there is a definite chill to the room, it’s not unbearable.

“We need to talk,” he says finally. “It’s important.”

Sehun lets out a long suffering sigh but closes his book and sits up, finally looking at Kyungsoo and Byulyi who he immediately locks onto. “Uh.”

“This is Byulyi,” Kyungsoo says. “My sister.”

“Kyungsoo we’re not--”

He takes a deep breathe. “Can we not have this conversation now, Sehun? More important things at hand.”

“Like?”

He motions to Byulyi, allowing her to take over if she pleases. “I have people after me.”

Sehun’s eyes go wide and he looks at Kyungsoo with something close to betrayal. “And you bring her here? We’re like three sitting ducks her!”

“I think you’re being over dramatic,” Kyungsoo replies.

He laughs humorlessly. “Tell that to you from three days ago who was having a mental breakdown in his own living room.”

Kyungsoo frowns. “We’re not here to talk about me. I thought you should know that there’s more going on and that I need you to keep your eyes open around the city, look out for HyunJong and Yoochun.”

Byulyi looks between them before settling on Kyungsoo. “Who is Yoochun?”

“He’s...” Kyungsoo doesn’t even know where to begin with this. There are so many ways this conversation can go south and he’s not sure on how Byulyi will react. “Long story short, remember when we were kids and my seizures got bad right before we escaped?” She nods. “They got even worse a few months ago, I got cornered by HyunJong and ended up back at Manticore.”

She takes a cautious step back from him.

It hurts more than Kyungsoo is willing to admit. “They didn’t do anything, nothing important anyway. Yoochun is the one in charge, the head of Manticore or something. I’m not really sure, but he was the one that took lead for… a lot of things while I was there. He sent Sehun and I out on a mission, but I don’t plan on going back.”

“And what are you going to do? It’s not like they’re going to just let you out of their grasp again.”

He clenches his hands into tight fists. “It’s a work in progress.”

“Fine,” she replies, completely displeased. “But what about him? He’s not one of us.” Byulyi nods at Sehun.

“His first mission.” Kyungsoo shrugs. As time rolls on and Kyungsoo does less of what Yoochun wants him to, he wonders about where Sehun’s loyalties lie. On the surface it seems that Sehun is leaning more towards Kyungsoo, but it’s hard to know the inside the mind of a Manticore soldier. He’s hoping that with everything Sehun has seen and learned since the mission started, Sehun will make the right decision.

Byulyi begins to walk around the room, pacing in a pointed, determined way. “Okay,” she says at one point. “Say I believe all that. What do you propose we do?”

“She needs to stay off the radar,” Sehun chimes in. “And away from any place that Yoochun can find her.”

Sehun’s right, which means Kyungsoo is an idiot. He can’t take her back to his place, not long term anyway. “I’ll have to talk to Junmyeon again, I guess.” He sighs, realizing his mistake. It was obvious from the start that he should’ve asked Junmyeon if she could stay there, but his mind is such a mess trying to figure out what the deal with Junmyeon is and being worried about Minseok, that the most obvious things to piece together are becoming the hardest to see.

“Again?” Sehun asks, curiosity rising. “When did you talk to him last?”

“Please, Sehun, not now.” He can see Sehun pouting as he turns away. “It might take some convincing but, I think he’ll help, maybe. I’ll try to enlist Minseok’s help.”

“How many people do you even know?” Byulyi asks. “Is that another one that knows about us? Is that even safe? How can I expect you to help me and keep me safe if already you’ve done nothing to prove that it’s not going to get us captured or killed?”

Kyungsoo doesn't have an answer to any of her questions, but he stares at her anyway and tries to put as much emotion into his voice as possible. “Because it’s my job to look out for my little sister.”

She rolls her eyes but agrees anyway. “Fine.”

He takes a glance at the large windows. “We should head out. You’ll stay at mine tonight and tomorrow move to Junmyeon’s. Can I count on you to watch out for things for me, Sehun?”

Sehun shrugs and says, “Sure.”

He’s not comfortable with the sudden shift in Sehun’s demeanor, but decides he’ll have a talk with him tomorrow. “I’ll stop by tomorrow, alright?”

“‘Kay,” Sehun replies and after a few seconds, Kyungsoo leads Byulyi back down.

 

*

 

That night back at Kyungsoo’s apartment everything is calm and uneventful. Byulyi is more than cautious of him, guarding herself completely. She accepts Kyungsoo’s room with a muttered thanks once it’s time for bed and closes the door behind herself.

Minseok took the news in stride but Kyungsoo can tell that this is all wearing on him as much as it is on Kyungsoo these days.

Now they sit together on the couch in the dim light of the apartment. The lights flicker every now and again, and Kyungsoo would be amazed if they got through the night without a Brown Out.

“I remember when we first met,” Minseok says at one point. He’s curled up on one end of the couch, back pressed against the armrest and head leaning against the back cushions. “You were this scrawny thing with such an attitude and nothing but hate for the world.”

Kyungsoo can’t help but laugh just a little. “I believe they call that teenage angst.”

Minseok smiles. “All you wanted to do was to find your family, that was your drive in life back then.”

Kyungsoo lets his smile fall away from his face. “And look where that’s gotten me. Nothing good has come of trying to find them.”

“Maybe,” Minseok agrees placidly. “But there’s also something different about you now because of Byulyi.” The lights flicker again, static in the air before they go off completely. Neither of them get up to light candles, basking in the moonlight shining through the living room window now that it’s clear out. “I never really pictured you as a brother. You’re loyal and protective sure, but it never gave off the vibe of brotherly before. There’s something different about how she makes you carry yourself.”

Kyungsoo licks his lips and forces himself to look away. “She’s my little sister, I have to look out for her even if she doesn’t want me to.”

“I think, if she’s anything like you were when we first met, she doesn’t know how to let you care,” he says wisely. “She probably needs time.”

“Time has never been on my side, Minseok.”

“Maybe you just need to make it your bitch.”

He laughs softly. “Easier said than done.”

Minseok sighs and adjusts his position on the couch. “Kyungsoo, I have seen you do the most amazing things ever, I think if anyone can make time their bitch,it’s you.”

He lets that sink in and thinks about it for a while. Twenty minutes pass and the light still don’t come back on and the moon shifts across the sky. “What if I don’t know how to be a brother anymore?”

“Spending time with her will prove that.”

“Is that your answer to everything, time?”

Minseok laughs. “Pretty much. It took time for us to be comfortable around each other didn’t it? And look what happened. I now have the best, somewhat stupid, friend in the world.”

Kyungsoo laughs as well. “I don’t think insulting me is the way to prove a point.”

“Details,” Minseok waves a hand at him. “If you want it to work, you’ll make it work, Kyungsoo. I’m sure of it.”

He doesn’t know about that, but it’s nice to know Minseok’s confidence in him, even after everything.

 

*

 

Sometime past midnight, Kyungsoo hears something from his room. At first he thinks it's just Byulyi having a bad dream, but then he hears a faint calling out of his name and he rushes to go check on her.

She's lying in the middle of his bed, buried under the blankets but sweat seems to coat her skin, making her hair damp. "Byulyi?" He asks, and sits on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong?" He presses a hand to her forehead, but she doesn't feel like she's burning up, so he's not sure what's wrong.

"I don't know," she says weakly, turning her face every so slightly into his touch. She makes a low noise again and it nearly breaks Kyungsoo's heart.

“Just try to get some rest, okay?” He feels her nod against his hand but waits until her breathing evens out before leaving the room. Minseok’s asleep in his own room, has been for a couple hours now, but Kyungsoo is anything but tired. He sits back on the couch for a while, staring out the window at the tall shadowy buildings of the city. It’s been a few hours since the Brown Out, and while the city is slowly starting to get it’s power back, there’s more buildings without it than with, specks of light scattered across the buildings.

They’re fairing lucky tonight, having gotten power back a little bit ago, but Kyungsoo isn’t really holding his breath on how long it’ll last. Gathering his courage, Kyungsoo picks up the phone and calls Junmyeon. It rings for so long that Kyungsoo figures he must be asleep, chiding himself for waiting until so late to call him and discuss things.

“Hello?” His voice is rough when he answers possibly from sleep, or maybe from not talking.

Kyungsoo steels himself and says, “I need a favor.”

He hears shifting over the line, Junmyeon moving in his chair perhaps. “Kyungsoo, asking me for a favor? I’m shocked.” There’s a bitter tone to his voice that makes Kyungsoo curious, but he doesn’t have time to worry about that right now.

“Don’t be,” he replies quickly. “I don’t have much of a choice.” They’re both silent for a bit before Kyungsoo powers onwards. “My apartment isn’t safe for her, can Byulyi stay with you until everything is straightened out?”

“What’s everything, Kyungsoo?”

“Those military guys that are after her, Manticore shit in general, I don’t know.” Kyungsoo heaves out a frustrated sigh. “You seem to already know so much about my life, what’s the point in me telling you?”

Junmyeon doesn’t say anything at first but then he must decide on what it is he wants Kyungsoo to hear. “I know you don’t remember it, but when we first met you were so adamant about being a lone wolf, not asking for help and keeping your head down. I asked for your help on a risky job and you said no, it cost me my legs, Kyungsoo.”

“Why are you telling me this?” he says with shaky breath.

“Because I’m at war with myself on if I should help you right now. For months I’ve been trying to find you and then all of a sudden you’re back and stealing from my apartment--”

Kyungsoo cuts him off. “I still have that stuff, if you want it back.”

“It’s not the stuff I care about.”

“Then what are you getting at?” He snaps.

“I don’t know how to be around you, Kyungsoo. I don’t know how to help you and not care or think about how you are both the same person that I know and some complete stranger all of a sudden.”

Kyungsoo lays himself out on the couch, stretching his legs along the length of it. “You say that like it’s my fault.”

Junmyeon sighs. “I know it’s not, but that doesn’t make it any easier.”

He doesn’t know what to say. “What do you want me to tell you, Junmyeon?”

“Why do you need my help? Why is your apartment so unsafe?”

“Yoochun,” he says weakly.

“Who is that?”

Kyungsoo puts his arm over his eyes and tries not to think to hard. “Someone who possibly wants me dead, or at least wants everything and everyone that could possibly mean something to me dead so he can control me.”

There’s typing from Junmyeon’s end of the line, the click-clack of his keyboard filling up space. “Manticore? Is there a last name with that?”

“Park. He’s in charge.” Kyungsoo isn’t sure why he’s spilling all this information, but apparently his guts are open for the world to take.

Silence fills the air while Junmyeon types away, Kyungsoo isn’t really sure what he’s up to but he lets it be, hoping that in the end, Junmyeon will let Byulyi stay. “Park, Yoochun” he says eventually, “Age 41. Records say he works as a President and CEO of a VA hospital in Wyonming. It’s safe to assume the hospital is a cover for Manticore and all the same, Yoochun Park is in charge of the operation.”

“Excellent in digging up information I already know, thank you,” he snarks.

“Is it really the time to be sarcastic, Kyungsoo? I believe you were asking for my help.”

He takes a deep breath and rubs at his eyes. "I know, I'm sorry. Just--this is a lot to deal with, okay?" It feels weird to be somewhat confiding in this not-a-stranger stranger, but he is, and it's easier than he thought it would be.

Junmyeon shifts on his side of the line. Kyungsoo almost wishes they were having this conversation in person, but he's not sure how that would go, given how being in the same room with Junmyeon leaves him on edge. "Why is it his apparent life mission is to come after you?"

"Do you want a list?" Kyungsoo stares up at the stains on the living room ceiling. Maybe when everything's said and done, he and Minseok can fix of their little shit hole, or find a slightly better shit hole with all the money Yoochun seems to be feeding into an account for him. Maybe he should withdraw that at some point and stash it somewhere. "We'd be here all night."

There's a snort from Junmyeon and some minor clicking. "Maybe stick to the highlights."

He sighs. "I think Yoochun is still bitter about us escaping, but that's probably just the tip of the iceberg. There's some fixation he has on me, I can't explain it. It's not like he wants me dead or anything, just wants me in the palm of his hand."

"Sounds uncomfortable," Junmyeon says. "Look, I wouldn't have said no, though it seems the me saying no to you is next to an impossibility. Regardless of whatever issues we have with each other, I want you to know that I'll help you out in anyway I can, even if that means letting Byulyi stay here while you chase down possibly psychotic bad guys."

Kyungsoo wants to laugh, it's so close to bubbling out of his throat, but he swallows it down. "What about those things you said earlier?"

"Forget about that," he replies. "I was just being immature. I probably shouldn't be allowed to drink in my old age."

At that Kyungsoo does laugh. "I highly doubt you're old, Junmyeon."

There's something close to a chuckle from Junmyeon, but Kyungsoo isn't entirely sure. "I'm old enough," he says. "It's glaringly obvious some days."

"Still." Kyungsoo isn't sure why he's having this conversation. He got what he wanted, so why hasn't he hung up yet? There's no reason to keep things going with Junmyeon; they aren't really friends, at least not to Kyungsoo's mind. He clears his throat and tries to direct the conversation back to where they started. "Anyway, thanks. That means a lot to me."

"Sure." Junmyeon's voice is soft, almost blending into the background. "Anytime."

He doesn't know what to say to that, and Junmyeon doesn't add anything else so after a long silent minute, he hangs up the phone.

 

*

 

In the morning, Byulyi is quiet and keeps Kyungsoo at arms length. He isn’t sure if it’s because of what happened in the middle of the night or just her general aversion she appears to have to people, but he tries not to take it personally and makes coffee for the three of them while Minseok showers. From the corner of his eye he watches as Byulyi pulls up her hair in a messy bun, pressing the back of her hand to her neck after the fact. He almost wants to ask her how she’s feeling, but doesn’t find the words.

Minseok, once he’s out of the shower and dressed, seems to have no problem starting the conversation. “Did you sleep okay?” He gently lays a hand on Byulyi’s arm to get her attention and she stares at him for a moment before nodding. “Good. Kyungsoo often claims he doesn't sleep, so I don’t really trust his word on how comfortable his bed is.”

“Why waste time sleeping when I don’t _need to _?” he questions. “That’s so many wasted hours.”__

He can hear Minseok’s eyeroll. “Remember that when you end up in the hospital for sleep deprivation.”

Kyungsoo watches as Minseok puts space between himself and Byulyi, reaching for a mug of coffee. He holds it up to his face and takes a deep breath, breathing it in. “Ah, yes the wonderful smell of instant coffee.”

Byulyi looks down at her mug, staring into the dark liquid.

Kyungsoo asks, “Do you like coffee? I can make tea if you’d rather that.”

She looks up at him through her bangs but shakes her head. “No, this is fine,” she says then lifts the mug and takes a sip, making a face at the flavor no doubt.

“Yeah,” he can’t help but laugh. “I agree that real coffee would be better, maybe Junmyeon will have some when we get to his.”

Minseok raises a pointed eyebrow at him. “Have you two reconciled?”

Kyungsoo glares. “No, we are not talking about that. Sehun and I thought it would be safer for her there, though, given the given.”

“You never worry about me enough to ship me off to some safe house.” Minseok fake pouts at him over his mug. “I’m beginning to think you don’t love me anymore.”

He huffs, something akin to a laugh forces it’s way out along with a slight smile. “The problem with you Minseok, is if I let myself worry about you all the time I’d never let you out of my sight.”

Minseok presses his hand to his chest, right over his heart and lets out a mock-dreamy sigh. “Man after my own heart.”

“I’m beginning to think there’s a reason why you’re single.”

Byulyi looks between them, face blank and unreadable. “You two are strange,” she comments, mostly to herself, he assumes.

Kyungsoo almost wants to tell her that this is what having friends is like, having family out here in the real world, but he doesn’t think that’ll go over to well so he keeps his mouth shut and drinks his coffee.

Later when they’re all headed out of the building, Kyungsoo and Minseok pushing their messenger bikes along down the hall and Byulyi following behind Minseok says, “You’re gonna show up to work on time, right?”

“What counts as on time?”

He gives Kyungsoo a dark look. “I’m being serious, Kyungsoo.”

“Yes, I will be at work on time.” He rolls his eyes at Minseok. “You’re worrying over nothing.”

Minseok gives him _a look_ but says nothing further on the subject as they reach outside, slipping through the the locked gate that is supposed to keep people out of their building. He hops on his bike and rides off with a wave, leaving Byulyi and Kyungsoo to walk by themselves.

The first half of the walk to Junmyeon's is spent in silence. Kyungsoo tries not to let it bother him, and it doesn't for the most part. Majority of his thoughts are taken by worrying about what in the world happened the night before with Byulyi. He's never experienced something like before and part of him worried that it's just a side effect of being out in the world for so many years. Not that that really makes any sense. Kyungsoo's been out here just as long and he's not having episodes like that.

He wishes he had someone he could talk to right about now, someone to express his concerns about what they are and to have those concerns mirrored. Most days Kyungsoo doesn't care, but others he feels more alone than ever before. He knows he's never really alone, but Minseok can only offer so much support, and there are times when it's not enough.

When everything's said and done, Kyungsoo hopes that Byulyi might stick around.

"That guy we saw yesterday," Byulyi says, breaking the silence. Kyungsoo almost startles, unused to her voice. "He's the one we're going to now, right?"

"Yeah." He adjusts the strap of his bag absently, keeping his eyes on the ground before them as he maneuvers his bicycle. "Junmyeon; he's an acquaintance."

"Seems like more than that."

Kyungsoo laughs. _You have no idea_ he thinks, just as curious as Byulyi is about his relationship with Junmyeon. "If anything changes, I'll let you know. Fair?"

Byulyi sighs, almost dramatically. Kyungsoo imagines she'd be more free with her dramatics and emotions if they were closer and his chest aches at the thought. "I suppose. If we live that long."

"Cut me some slack, I lasted ten years by myself didn't I?" If they were on better terms, he imagines that he'd give her shoulder a little shove. Kyungsoo's entire being itches to do so, but he's not sure how she'd react and he rather likes his appendages connected to his body. "That's gotta count for something."

She hums loftily. "Perhaps, if not for the fact you got caught in the end."

"Details," he dismisses with a wave of his hand.

When they arrive just outside of sector nine Kyungsoo stops and gets on his bike, motioning for Byulyi to follow suit. "They'll be less likely to ask you for a sector pass if we're on together, and if they do ask it'll be easier for us to get away." He wishes it was his motorcycle instead, but he supposes this will have to do. He's confident they won't run into any problems, though Kyungsoo makes a mental note to maybe get Byulyi a job at JamPony if she decides to stick around.

They make it past the checkpoint with little fanfare, though Byulyi gets a very stern, "I'd rather you had a sector pass next time I see you here," before they're sent on their way. Kyungsoo will just have to find another way to get her past the checkpoints until that happens. Shouldn't be too hard.

A few blocks from Junmyeon's Kyungsoo broaches the subject he didn't want to touch. "I need to ask a favor." He grips the handlebars of his bicycle tightly and holds onto his resolve. "Sehun mentioned that we were here on a mission. It's to find out who Eyes Only is. The thing is Yoochun didn't actually give me anything to work with and has been riding my ass since day three on getting the info he needs. I don't want to ask you to do my job or get me out of a jam, but if you hear anything..."

She's silent until they reach outside his building, and once they get inside the elevator. It isn't until the doors close that Byulyi sighs. "No promises, but I'm sure something’ll pop up. I'll keep an ear to the ground for you."

Kyungsoo smiles slightly at her and longs to reach out and squeeze her shoulder in thanks, but keeps his hands to himself. "Thank you. I wouldn't be asking if I didn't have to."

"From what I've seen, you've got a lot on your plate, Kyungsoo."

He shrugs. "Nothing I can't handle."

"Maybe," Byulyi says placidly. "But that doesn't mean you need to do everything by yourself."

Kyungsoo huffs, something akin to a laugh. "Now you sound like Minseok."

"Minseok's a smart guy."

The elevator dings when they reach Junmyeon's floor. The doors open into that large, stylish penthouse that Kyungsoo still can't believe he's allowed to step foot into, but does so anyway.

He props his bike against the wall and looks around the apartment for Junmyeon, Byulyi trailing behind him.

"Hey," Junmyeon says when he looks up from his computer. Always in his office, it seems. "I didn't hear the door."

"Maybe you should check your hearing," Byulyi mutters from behind him. Kyungsoo doesn't make a sound but a smirk does find its way onto his face.

Junmyeon's face takes on a complicated look, almost as if he wants to be amused but isn't sure how to be. "Ah yes, that Manticore wit. Never get tired of that." He returns to typing at his computer, ever the work-a-holic.

"You're alright with Byulyi staying here?" Kyungsoo asks after a brief pause of silence.

Junmyeon spares a glance at him before focusing on his computer. "I said it was alright last night, I wouldn't change my mind Kyungsoo."

He looks away, uncomfortable with the use of his name from Junmyeon for some reason. "I just don't want you to feel obligated."

The click-clack of the keyboard stops and Junmyeon sighs and pushes himself away from his desk just a little. "I'm not doing this out of obligation or whatever you may think. You and Minseok are people I care about, Byulyi is your sister, so by default I'm going to do what I can to help. You need someone to have her back while some random Military and Manticore personnel could be after her since you're busy still trying to figure out how to get rid of them. I want Manticore gone as much as you do, so I really don't mind helping you."

Kyungsoo doesn't know what to say to that. His stomach churns with anxiety, heart racing in his chest. There's just something about Junmyeon that he can't put his finger on, isn't sure if he even wants to find out. He swallows around the lump that seems to have formed in his throat. "Okay, thanks," he manages to say, looking anywhere but at Junmyeon while Byulyi's eyes bore into his head. The air feels too thick and he needs to get out of here, but he doesn't want to leave Byulyi yet. "You got any coffee in this place?"

"Yeah, there's some in the kitchen, should still be hot." Junmyeon points toward his kitchen and Kyungsoo heads there without a second thought. After a moment, he hears Byulyi behind him.

"Well that was weird," she says as Kyungsoo fixes himself a cup of _real_ coffee. "Care to explain?"

He glances up at her then looks back down at the mug in his hands. "Not really, no."

She narrows her eyes at him. "You two have the strangest relationship."

"Tell me about it," he mumbles then takes a large sip of coffee, enjoying the heavily goodness that isn't instant. Kyungsoo sighs happily.

A cup and a half of coffee later, Kyungsoo is ten minutes away from being late to work and needs to leave five minutes ago. Byulyi, who is apparently his shadow today, follows him back towards his bike at the door. "You're seriously leaving me here?" She hisses under her breath.

Kyungsoo eyes her, wondering if she's suddenly gone mad. "Yes? I have to go to work."

"What if something happens?"

He looks around then focuses back on her. "To Junmyeon?"

Byulyi rolls her eyes. "No, to me! He could be a killer for all I know."

"Are you serious right now?"

She lets out a huff and crosses her arms, suddenly in a bratty mode that makes Kyungsoo think she'd get along with Sehun and hopes to whatever God that there is they don't team up on him for anything; he doesn't think he'd last. Does that mean he's lumping Sehun with his siblings now? This train of thought has officially gone too far, and now Kyungsoo is most definitely going to be late for work.

"Okay, okay," he says and props his bike against the wall again. "I'll stay, even though I don't understand your concerns." He heads back towards Junmyeon’s office so he can call into work, trying to think up an excuse for Ryeowook on the fly. It'll be fine, he's sure. Everything will be just fine.

Somehow or another, Kyungsoo finds himself sitting against the headboard of a bed in the guest room of Junmyeon's house. Byulyi is lounging next to him as they stare at nothing but the walls. He's not sure what she wanted when she told him not to leave her here by herself, but he wasn't expecting this. He desperately wants to talk to her, get to know her beyond the guarded person she has become, but finding the right words is difficult, especially with how prickly she seems to be. It would be so easy to ask _What have you been doing the last ten years?_ but difficult all the same. He just wishes she would say something, anything really, to get the ball rolling, maybe then it wouldn't be so difficult.

"How did you end up back at Manticore?" Byulyi asks eventually.

That's not exactly the segway he wanted, but he'll have to take what he can get. "My seizures came back. Ended up in the hospital, got caught."

"What a way to go," she whispers.

"There are worse things," he finds himself saying. "There was a close call months before that. Remember Donghae?" He feels Byulyi shift to look at him, the rigid line her body takes next to his and wonders if he should tell her what happened, at least what he remembers. Probably not. "A lot of them blame us for leaving, hold the awful things that Manticore did to them over our heads. Sometimes I can't fault them for casting us as the scapegoat. Stockholm syndrome is a hell of a thing."

"That's no excuse--"

"You're right," Kyungsoo agrees. "But that's what it's like to be human isn't it? Blame something you can't fully accept on someone else? It's not right but, sometimes it's how people cope. Everyone deals with things differently."

Byulyi stays quiet for a while after that and Kyungsoo doesn't have it in him to keep talking until she's ready. In the other room, he can hear Junmyeon's voice, low enough where he can't make out the words form just the tones he uses to speak. "What happened with Donghae?"

"Nothing good. Be happy you didn't find me then."

"I can't decide if I'm happy I found you at all," she admits. "Nothing's the same as when we were kids."

"I didn't want to split up, you know," he finds himself saying. "I thought we should all stick together, strength in numbers, but Jackson wouldn't listen." Kyungsoo stares at his socked feet, wiggles his toes. "I spent so long looking for all of you and now--"

"Maybe it wasn't the brightest idea, but we were safer in the end, I think." She pulls her legs up and wraps her arms around them. "We wouldn't have really learned how to be our own people then."

Kyungsoo scoffs. "I still don't know how to be my own person."

"You look like you're doing just fine to me. Better than I am." The last of that comes out muffled against her arm as Byulyi presses her face down towards the rest of her body, curling in on herself. "How do you think the others are doing?"

He doesn't want to answer that, doesn't know how to answer that. How can he tell her that they're the only two left out of the ten of them that escaped? Maybe it won't hit her as hard as it did him, but maybe it'll be worse. Lying isn't a real solution though either, as proven with everything that's happened between him and Minseok. "Better than us," he says without giving anything anway. "Away from all this mess and HyunJong. Anywhere they are is better than this."

Byulyi shifts against, leans a bit of her weight on him. It warms him just a bit, to have her close that distance, but he doesn't move an inch, afraid he might scare her off. They sit like that for hours, mostly in silence, but sometimes talking back and forth. Kyungsoo tries not to ask things he thinks would push her away, but keeps himself open to most things she asks of him. It's hard, and Kyungsoo thinks this is the most honest he's been with anyone in years. The thought of it makes his stomach twist into knots.

"What was your childhood like?" Byulyi asks later, head resting on his shoulder.

He snorts out a laugh, jolting her head just a bit, but tries to sink lower so her position is righted once again. "Probably what you'd expect. I ended up in a foster home for a while; it sucked. I decided to live on my own when The Pulse hit. Wandered around for a while, met Minseok at some point and we made our way up to Seattle together, been friends ever since."

She hums in acknowledgement. "I never had friends."

"You're not missing much. It's hard, when you're like us." he says. "I haven't always been honest with Minseok and I'm constantly worried that one day he's going to get tired of it and leave." He worries about more than that, and sometimes it's so exhausting that he doesn't think he'll be able to do it another day but then Minseok will bring him lunch, or they'll spend an evening at Crash, or Chanyeol will do some something ridiculous and the two of them will just share a look and--

"Minseok's my best friend, and it's really hard to be the friend he deserves, but he's probably the only reason why I made it this long."

Byulyi looks up at him through her bangs, tilting her head on his shoulder just enough. "Yeah?" He nods. "Sounds like I am missing something then after all."

Kyungsoo laughs. "We'll find you your very own Minseok then, best friend to rival all best friends."

"I'd like that."

 

*

 

Sometime during the afternoon, between bouts of conversation, Byulyi falls asleep on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. He sits there for a while, enjoying the warmth of her next to him, and how it feels as if they are somewhat closer than they were hours ago. He’s not sure if it’ll last, but in this very moment, it’s better than nothing.

Eventually he wanders out of the room, carefully slipping from under her and laying her on the bed as not to wake her. He runs into Junmyeon out in the hall, who looks tired and stressed. “Can we talk?”

In no way, in any universe from any person, is that a phrase Kyungsoo want to hear, but least of all now. “What about?” He leads the way away from the room Byulyi is sleeping in, in hopes that she won’t overhear on the off chance she wakes up.

“What are you going to do about all of this?” Junmyeon asks once they get to his living room.

“It’s a work in progress,” he admits. “I have someone on the look out for the people after her.” He rubs at his eye, mostly to keep from having to look at Junmyeon. Kyungsoo desperately hopes he doesn’t try to bring up Manticore or whatever is between them, but he’s never been that lucky.

“And after?”

“Honestly?” Kyungsoo asks. “I don’t have a fucking clue. I can only worry about so many things at once. Manticore being on my ass is top of the list after her.”

Junmyeon folds his arms across his chest, which makes him look even smaller in the large oversized sweater he has on. “That’s another thing,” he says. Kyungsoo groans. “Why is Manticore on your ass again? And what’s with that look?”

Kyungsoo doesn’t even bother to hide the look of complete disdain on his face. “It’s like a fucking broken record with you.”

He wishes he could read the look on Junmyeon’s face, understand why his brow is furrowed the way it is, or what it means when he clenches his teeth, but he doesn’t. Instead, Kyungsoo can only watch and be annoyed that he’s curious and that this man even cares about Kyungsoo’s life. “I”m sorry if I’d like to understand what happened to you for four months that leaves this other person sitting in my living room instead of the person that I was friends with.”

“For a second I thought you were going to say ‘in love with’,” Kyungsoo jokes dryly. His stomach drops when Junmyeon doesn’t say anything. “Fuck, you’re in love with me, aren’t you?”

Junmyeon rolls his eyes. “I hardly think that has anything to do with what’s going on right now.”

He rises from the couch and rubs a hand over his short hair in frustration. “No, I think it has a lot to do some things. It would explain why you’re just so willing to help me when I need it, why Minseok brought you up every chance he could.” It would explain the complicated look on Junmyeon’s face right now and the way he keeps his eyes on anything but Kyungsoo’s face for longer than five seconds.

“Look,” he says, “it’s not a big deal. Honestly. We can worry about it later, I just-.” Junmyeon stops talking and lets out a deep sigh, shoulder drooping with exhaustion. “I just want to help, we were friends before everything else happened, and I want to still be you friend now.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t want more friends to have to look after right now. He’s got enough to worry about without adding this stranger who is apparently in love with him to the mix. His beeper goes off before he can say anything in response, saving Kyungsoo of thinking up some bullshit that probably would only make matters worse. He glances at the number before mumbling, “I need to use your phone,” and making a beeline for Junmyeon’s office.

“I think HyunJong knows she’s in the city,” is the first thing Sehun says.

Kyungsoo frowns and risks a glance at Junmyeon. “Why do you say that?”

There’s a noise on the other side of the line, possibly feedback from all the crappy half broken payphones in the city, or from Sehun stepping closer to the phone. “I happened to see him talking to a guy in military attire, but it wasn’t Manticore issue, and they looked much older than any of us.”

“Did you hear the conversation?”

“No,” Sehun says, voice dropping closer to a whisper. “But I have my eye on them right now.”

Kyungsoo sighs. “Okay, keep tailing them. Find out what you can, and I’ll meet you later.” He hangs up before anything more can be said. He can feel Junmyeon’s eyes on him as he sighs and tries to figure out his next course of action. HyunJong is just as shady as he’s always been, Kyungsoo isn’t really surprised, but this complicates things to a degree that he hadn’t anticipated.

“Let me guess,” Junmyeon sighs. “Something new has happened.”

Kyungsoo rubs at his forehead and clips his beeper back to his waist. “Something like that.” Before he can take anything else onto that, furthering or dispelling the conversation, he hears Byulyi call his name from the other room in a somewhat distressed tone.

When he gets to the room, Kyungsoo isn’t entire sure what he’s looking at right away. Byulyi looks the same as she did earlier, just distressed. “What’s happening to me?” She asks, voice high and alarmed.

“What are you--” He gets a good look at her then and notices that Byulyi does in fact look different. Her hair has taken on a grey tone to it, while her skin doesn’t look nearly as smooth as it did before.

Junmyeon shifts behind Kyungsoo, taking in a deep breath as he does so. “Kyungsoo?”

It’s almost as if right before their eyes, Kyungsoo is seeing Byulyi age slowly, faster than any normal rate, but it’s a slow progression, year spanning over the course of five minutes or so, rather than at the rate it should be. “I don’t know,” he admits. “I”ve never seen this before.” Or heard of it. It’s terrifying frankly, but so is the rest of his life. Today is just another day ending in ‘Y’.

He walks over to the bed and sits on the edge, pressing a hand to Byulyi’s forehead. “How do you feel otherwise?” Her skin is damp with sweat but otherwise feels fine, no signs of fever which is good. Or so he hopes.

Byulyi closes her eyes and leans into Kyungsoo's touch just a bit. "Does scared count?"

Kyungsoo offers a weak smiles. "I meant physically rather than mentally. I would be scared too."

"My body is kind of sore," she admits. "My joints hurt."

He looks back over his shoulder at Junmyeon who appears to be rooted in his spot by the doorway, staring wide eyed at the two of them. "Junmyeon," Kyungsoo says, gathering his attention. "Can you...?"

Junmyeon blinks a few times but nods. "Yeah, I'll see what I can find."

When Junmyeon's footsteps fade down the hall, Kyungsoo turns back to Byulyi. She looks as if she's fallen asleep, but the pattern of her breathing tells otherwise. "It's gonna be okay," he says to her softly. "I'll figure it out."

Byulyi hums just a bit and gives a slight nod. "Will you sit and talk with me more?" She asks after a few minutes of silence.

"Of course, just let me get you some water, okay?" He waits for her nod of agreement before getting off the bed and heading to the kitchen for a bottle of water. When he returns, he slips onto the bed next to Byulyi and holds the open water bottle out for her. "Can you drink some of this for me?" She sighs and forces herself up into a sitting position, taking the bottle from him with careful fingers. He watches her take a few sips before handing the bottle back to him. "Better?" Byulyi nods and slides back down the bed to lay down while he puts the cap back on the bottle.

When they're both situated on the bed, her head on his shoulder with him gently petting her hair, she sighs once more. "Life is so unfair," she mumbles.

"Something will turn around for us one day," Kyungsoo says. "Even if we have to make it happen ourselves."

"How? When all we can do is run and hide so we don't get caught again." She shifts closer. "I'm tired of running, Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo knows the feeling, that bone deep tiredness from being active for so long, always looking over your shoulder and watching your back. "Maybe you could stay here," he says softly. "In Seattle."

She laughs at him, her small body shaking with it. "And do what?"

"We can figure that out later, that's shockingly the easy part." He squeezes her shoulder gently, pulling them closer together for a moment in something akin to a hug. "Only if you want to stay though. I won't hold it against you if after all of this is solved that you want to leave again."

"Can I think about it?" Byulyi asks in a small voice.

"Of course." He rests his head on top of hers, rubbing her arm soothingly. "And even if you want to leave, you can always come back. I'll be here."

"Okay."

"Okay," Kyungsoo repeats.

She's asleep again not much later, breathing softly into Kyungsoo's shoulder. He doesn't want to leave this spot but knows that he should. After ten minutes, Kyungsoo forces himself away and off the bed. He grabs his shoes from the foot of the bed before he leaves the room. “Where are you going,” Junmyeon asks, standing in the doorway between the living room and his office.

“I’m gonna meet someone, try to figure out some shit.” He laces up his boots quickly and stands, pulling his jacket back on. “Keep an eye on her?”

Junmyeon rolls his eyes. “She’s in my house with an alarming medical condition, but I’m just gonna ignore her.”

“Don’t get sassy with me,” he says. “I have too much to deal with right now, I don’t need that.”

“Yes, Kyungsoo, I will keep an eye on her. And I will keep looking into what is ever wrong, and this Yoochun character. Relax.”

Kyungsoo scoffs. “Relaxing will only get one of us killed,” he says and starts to leave.

“Hey, wait,” Junmyeon calls just before Kyungsoo can open the door. He turns around only to have Junmyeon toss a cell phone at him. “In case something happens, it’ll be easier than your beeper.”

He makes a face down at the phone but nods and leaves without a word.

 

*

 

It’s after midnight when Kyungsoo finally makes it home. He just happens to glance up towards the living room the moment he comes through the door to see Sehun and Minseok on the couch. That’s a scene that’ll never not be weird, but he tries not to dwell on it too much, Minseok is allowed to have other friends than him, even if they are questionable transgenics.

“ _I’ll meet up with you soon_ ,” Sehun says mockingly, sounding nothing like Kyungsoo. “It’s been three hours, Kyungsoo.”

“Can I walk through the door before you start, please?” Kyungsoo asks, pointedly closing the door loudly. “Or is that too much ask?”

Minseok snorts and shakes his head. “You sound like a married couple.”

“God, no.” He shrugs off his jacket and drapes it over his bike as he passes. "I'd rather go back to Manticore than be married to him." Kyungsoo goes into his room to change from work clothes to pajamas, ready for nothing more than to sleep the night away.

"That's very rude!" Sehun calls. Kyungsoo ignores him.

When gets back into the living room in a long t-shirt and boxers, Kyungsoo drops himself onto the couch, leaning heavily on Minseok. "How could I possibly be more tired today than on days when I go to work?"

Minseok laughs. "All the excitement?"

"I'd rather lead a boring life."

Minseok pats him gently on the leg in a 'there, there' fashion. He appreciates it.

"So, where were you? I was waiting," Sehun says, rather impatiently.

Kyungsoo groans and pushes his face towards Minseok's neck to hide. "You spend so much of your time here, I didn't see any point. I knew I'd see you when I got home."

"Speaking of work," Minseok reverses the conversation. Kyungsoo is both pleased for the change of subject and upset that this is the topic they land on. "You never showed."

It's in this moment that Kyungsoo misses the simplicity of his life before everything, when his biggest fear was mainly Minseok finding out what he was. Those were some good days, not always, but most of the time. Lately, he feels nothing but bone tiredness and anxiety eating away at him as he looks over his shoulder. Soon, he promises himself, everything will be over soon.

He pulls himself away from Minseok a bit, resting his head on the back of the couch and rubs a hand across his face, hoping to stave off the tiredness for a bit longer. "Byulyi asked me to stick around; she wasn't really comfortable at Junmyeon's."

"And how's she doing?"

Kyungsoo shrugs and fiddles with the hem of his shirt. "There's something wrong, medically. We don't know what it is. Junmyeon's looking into it, said he'll call if anything changes."

"I'm sure it's nothing," Minseok says, patting his leg again. "You guys are super soldiers after all."

Kyungsoo nods in agreement, but doesn't verbally comment.

"I have a question." Sehun raises his hand in the air and wiggles his fingers like a child in a classroom Kyungsoo has seen on tv shows. "How come all of these new people get so much of your attention and not your wrath but I'm literally being snipped at every conversation we have?"

Kyungsoo rolls his head along the back of the couch to stare at Sehun. "Are you seriously jealous right now?"

He shrugs and Minseok snorts, which Kyungsoo pointedly ignores.

"I cannot believe this." It's marginally funny, or would be, Kyungsoo can admit, if he wasn't so stressed out. He supposes he can see where Sehun is coming from, in an objective sort of way. Byulyi and Junmyeon showed up after Sehun did in Sehun's mental timeline, especially given Kyungsoo's current relationship with both of them. There's a level of loyalty though, Kyungsoo thinks, that he feels towards at least Byulyi that puts her before Sehun. She is his sister, while Sehun is just some kid.

Junmyeon, on the other hand, is another story entirely.

"I'm just saying, these are all virtual strangers but you're putting them before us and our mission."

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and turns his body back to facing Minseok. "Now you sound like a jealous girlfriend."

"Do you know what you're going to do about your mission?" Minseok segues. "And Manticore for that matter?"

Kyungsoo groans and tries to hide his face in Minseok's shoulder again. "Can we not ask these questions now? Byulyi is top priority, then the mission, then Manticore. Don't worry."

Both Sehun and Minseok sigh at him. "Telling me not to worry has the opposite effect, you know that," Minseok says.

"I can dream, can't I?"

It’s not much later that Kyungsoo decides to go to bed. He enjoys the warmth of Minseok’s body next to his, but in the end his bed calling to him wins out, speaking to his tired mind on a level that snuggling up to his best friend never will. If he wasn’t so tired lately, Kyungsoo would definitely miss the days where he could spend three or four days out and about on twelve hours of sleep and be perfectly fine.

Hours later, Kyungsoo is awoken by someone shaking him. He peels his eyes open to glare around the room as his eyelids try to stick together each time he blinks. The shaking of his shoulder doesn’t let up until he lets out a mumble, “I’m awake, what?”

“Junmyeon’s on the phone,” Minseok says. He’s holding out the landline to Kyungsoo who stares at it, blinking slowly as the words register in his head.

Kyungsoo yawns and rolls onto his other side, still not taking the phone. “What time is it?”

“Does it matter? Take the phone; he says it’s important.”

He sighs and lets his eyes slip closed once more but reaches out for the phone and places it against his ear. “This better be good on punishment of death.”

Junmyeon’s speaking before Kyungsoo can even get his whole sentence out. “You better come over; Byulyi is getting worse.”

Kyungsoo jolts up in bed, suddenly wide awake. Minseok’s face mirrors the feeling in his gut. He thought he couldn’t feel such terror but here it is, swallowing him hole. “We’ll be right over.” Kyungsoo tosses the phone to Minseok as he finds a pair of pants to pull on and a sweatshirt, slipping his feet into sneakers all at once and not bothering with anything else other than grabbing his keys. “Is Sehun still here?” He manages to ask while scrambling to get clothes on and Minseok responds with the affirmative.

In the living room, Sehun is sprawled out on the couch, dead to the world. Kyungsoo kicks him awake. “We need to go.” He doesn’t wait for a response before walking over to his motorcycle. “You’re gonna ride with me while Minseok takes his bike, we need to get to Junmyeon ASAP.”

Sehun stares at him for a moment before getting up and walking over to Kyungsoo. “I’m sure you’ll explain when we get there, so I’ll just wait to ask why I’m being woken up at three in the morning.”

 

*

 

Kyungsoo feels unnaturally hot when they get to Junmyeon’s. He blames it on the adrenaline of everything that’s going on and racing through the streets after the temperature has dropped for the night.

Junmyeon eyes his motorcycle when Kyungsoo leads it into the apartment. “In any other circumstance, I’d be annoyed that you brought that up here when there is a perfectly good garage to leave it in, but you get one free pass.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes and moves out of the way so Sehun and Minseok can enter the apartment as well. “How generous of you, I’ll be sure to write you a thank you card.” Kyungsoo lowers the kickstand and leans his bike out of the way. “Where is she? What’s wrong?”

Junmyeon seems to come back to himself and looks off down the hall. “Still in the spare room, in bed. You should see for yourself.”

Kyungsoo really doesn’t like the sound of that, but Junmyeon doesn’t seem like he’s going to say anything else on the subject. “Did you find anything out? Do you know what’s causing this?”

Junmyeon shrugs. “The internet is very unhelpful on this matter, I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo was afraid of that, but he tries not to let his disappointment show on his face. Instead he just nods and heads towards the room Byulyi is in.

When Kyungsoo reaches the room, he’s not sure how to react. Byulyi is curled up in the middle of the bed almost in a ball. Junmyeon was right: it is worse. Her hair has a dull grey color to it and it lays around her, limp and brittle. The soft sheen it once had is gone. Her skin is wrinkled and has age spots on it in some places and the sight of it all makes Kyungsoo _feel so much_.

He kicks off his sneakers and climbs up on the bed towards her, curling around her fragile form protectively so their bodies align, close, but too timorous to touch.“Hey little sister,” he says softly and reaches a hand out to brush the hair from her face. “How’re you feeling?”

Her eyes crack open just a bit before closing again. “Kyungsoo.” Byulyi’s voice is weak and tiny, hitting that impulse in Kyungsoo to scoot a little closer and hold her tight.

“It’s okay,” he says, lips pressed against the top of her head. “I’m here.” Kyungsoo runs a had soothingly up and down her back knowing full well it won’t change anything, but it settles something in his chest just a bit.

The air in the room shifts just before he hears Sehun’s whispered, “Holy shit.” Any other time Kyungsoo would turn around and address whatever problem seems to have arisen this time, but he can’t be bothered. He would rather focus all his attention on Byulyi.

“Oh, Byulyi,” Minseok says next, voice full of nothing but heartbreak and worry. At least someone in this room has a fucking soul, Kyungsoo thinks, but still stays where he is, rubbing Byulyi’s back. He’s terrified about what’s going to happen as she continues to get worse. His fears, that he refuses to voice, are that she’ll waste away to nothing before they figure anything out and Kyungsoo doesn’t know if he’ll be able to live through that. It’s one thing to have the knowledge that his brothers and sisters are (quite possibly) dead, but it’s another entirely to watch and have one die right in your arms.

Kyungsoo holds onto her tighter and squeezes his eyes shut. “I’m gonna figure this out,” he whispers. “I promise.”

 

*

 

The next day passes in a blur of mostly worry and staying at Byulyi’s side. When the morning comes and Minseok heads off to work, Kyungsoo calls Ryeowook and tells him the unfortunate news again. Ryeowook, of course, is not pleased, but lets it slide anyway given it’s the end of the week. Kyungsoo promises to make up the hours the following week, and hopes he can follow through with that promise.

Sehun radiates an air of passive aggressiveness that more than once get on Kyungsoo’s nerves to the point where he can’t even be in the same room as him and worry about Byulyi. He’s not sure what’s suddenly wrong with him, but whatever it is, they need to solve this shit now before the other shoe drops.

As the morning progresses, Byulyi falls in and out of sleep, having bouts of wakefulness where she converses with Kyungsoo in a weak, small voice. He wishes she would just rest and not strain herself, but each time he tries to voice this, she tells him that she knows what’s best for herself, even when she’s on the verge of dying.

“Don’t say that,” he hisses and closes his eyes against the sight of her. He presses his face against the top of her head, feeling the dry, raspy brush of her hair against his face. “You’re not gonna die.”

She gives a coughing laugh. “Please, Kyungsoo, look at me. We don’t even know what’s wrong, how can you be so sure?”

“I have a hard time letting things go,” he says. “Grudges, people…”

Byulyi lets out a deep sigh. “Can you at least promise me?”

“What?”

“If I don’t make it, don’t let them take my body back there, please.” She squeezes his hand tightly, almost with more strength then she should possibly have right now and it solidifies Kyungsoo’s belief that she’s gonna be okay. “You have to do that for me.”

Kyungsoo can’t imagine what he’d do if she died, but he nods anyway and squeezes her hand back. “I promise.”

When she drifts back into sleep, Kyungsoo slips out of the room to get something to drink. He knows he should eat, but with the way his stomach rolls and turns in knots he doesn’t think it’s the best idea. Sehun huffs dramatically when he enters the kitchen, sitting at one of Junmyeon’s high counters. His eyes are focused mostly on the table, but Kyungsoo can feel them fall upon him every few seconds as he keeps his back to the room, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

After the third sigh from him, Kyungsoo slams his cup down. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Sehun’s eyes glance up at him lazily. “Oh, I exist now?”

He leans against the counter, arms braced behind him. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Ever since she showed up, I don’t exist.” Sehun looks away from him again and shrugs, toying with a straw he has in a glass of soda. “I wasn’t expecting you to notice I was here.”

“It’s pretty hard not to notice you with all that sighing you’re doing.”

“Oh,” Sehun says. “I’m sorry, was I disturbing you? I’ll try harder to be quiet.”

Kyungsoo presses his fingers against his left eye, willing the building headache to go away. “What is this _really_ about, Sehun?”

“Nothing,” he mutters, mock placidness lacing his tone. “Why would something be wrong?”

Not sure how he’s supposed to answer that, Kyungsoo rolls his head on his neck, working out the kinks and trying to think of what to say next. He’s never had so many problems with another human being or transgenic before, but here it is. He supposed there’s a first time for everything. “What do you have against Byulyi?”

“Why are you so fixated on her?”

Kyungsoo can’t believe this is an actual conversation he’s having. “Because she’s my sister?”

“No!” Sehun yells, glaring at Kyungsoo. “We don’t have siblings and families Kyungsoo, don’t you get that?” He points back toward the room Byulyi is asleep in. “She is not your sister. She’s just a girl that was in you unit when you were a kid that you happened to run away with, that’s it.”

“What the fuck is your problem? Why does this bother you so much?” This is the conversation he avoided when Byulyi first showed up. Kyungsoo was hoping it would never happen, but it seems his hope was misguided.

“Because you’re going to get us all killed over some girl you have some sort of demented kinship with.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “You know what your real problem is?”

“Please tell me, Kyungsoo, I’m dying to know.”

“You’re so worried about your own fucking hide that you can’t see there’s an entire world around you. There’s more than one definition of family, Sehun.” Kyungsoo turns away from where Sehun is standing and grabs his cup of coffee. “You’re right. She’s not my sister by blood, and I don’t have an actual family with parents who love me, but at least I don’t fucking take my bullshit out on other people when I don’t understand the world around me.” He heads out of the kitchen and back to the spare room but stops right at the doorway. “If you’re so worried about Manticore, why do you call Yoochun up right now, tell him where we are and everything I’m planning? Save yourself from me and the _big scary world_. But if you think anyone in that hell is going to actually care about you, then you are sorely mistaken.”

It takes all of Kyungsoo’s self-control not slam the door behind himself when he makes it back to the room, but he does it. Byulyi is still sound asleep on the bed, looking no worse than she did five minutes ago, but Kyungsoo knows he’s running out of time. Whatever is really wrong with her is killing her, and there’s only one way to really stop it.

He just doesn’t know if he can do what they would consider the right thing for her.

Maybe Sehun’s right, maybe it is a fixation he has. Kyungsoo’s waited so long for some trace of his siblings that he doesn’t know how to let something go now when there’s no hope in sight. If he’s being honest with himself, though, Kyungsoo’s always been like that. When they were kids he was so dead set on then all sticking together when they escaped. And again, when Donghae showed up, from the moment something seemed off with him, Kyungsoo should kicked him to the curb, but he didn’t. Same with when Donghae showed his true colors, Kyungsoo was loyal to him to the end. Whatever this is with Byulyi is no different. Kyungsoo can’t let go. This is all he really has to count on, to believe in and he doesn’t know what he’d do without it.

Fuck Sehun. Fuck him and his selfish ideology that says “you are an island”. It’s bullshit. Transgenics are no different from anyone else, they’re just bred in a lab and told they’re special and superior than the same people that helped make them. So, what does that even say about them?

At most, Kyungsoo thinks, transgenics are just another form of humans. Subhumans almost. They have all the same needs and traits, just a few differences. Like being universal donors to any type of blood and being able to receive any type of blood. Sure, they’re super-fast and have other enhanced senses, but at the end of the day, transgenics are humans.

It’s taken a long time for Kyungsoo to feel comfortable with what he is, and that’s no one’s fault really. Except maybe Manticore’s, but he’s okay with it. He’s not a perfect human, he’s not a perfect transgenic; he’s just Kyungsoo. If he could, he would try to teach that to all the others, but some of them are beyond help and Kyungsoo has more important things to worry about. Maybe, when everything's said and done, Sehun will understand. And maybe he won’t, but Kyungsoo isn’t going to waste any more breath arguing over it.

He’d rather save his sister than be stuck with some ornery kid who doesn’t want to be here.

 

*

 

Kyungsoo spends the hours between his argument with Sehun and the time that Minseok comes back from work at Byulyi’s side. She stays curled up next to him, mostly sleeping, but sometimes awake enough to request that he talks to her, about anything. He tries to make sure she’s comfortable all the while internally freaking out on just what the hell he’s going to do about the situation.

Junmyeon comes in the room every once in awhile to check on them and get Byulyi a glass of water when she requests it, but doesn’t bother them otherwise. Kyungsoo doesn’t hear a peep from Sehun.

When Minseok returns, Kyungsoo asks him to take his place for a little while so he can take care of some things. A displeased look crosses Minseok’s face, and he appears as if he’s about to protest, but Kyungsoo shakes his head and mouths ‘later’. To Byulyi, he lowers his head to hers once more, pressing their foreheads together. “Minseok’s gonna sit with you for a while, okay?” He says to her in a soft voice.

Byulyi nods but doesn’t say anything. After a few seconds, Kyungsoo slips off the bed so Minseok can take his place.

In the living room, Sehun sits in stoney silence, glaring at the walls. Kyungsoo spares him a glance as he stands in the doorway between Junmyeon’s office and the living room. “She’s not getting better,” he says, mostly to Junmyeon.

Junmyeon rolls his chair away from his desk just a bit and looks at Kyungsoo with a frown. “What do you think we should do?”

He shrugs, defeated. “I have no idea what to do anymore. But she’s gonna die like this if we don’t figure out something soon.”

The three of them stay in silence while they think over options. At least Kyungsoo and Junmyeon do, Sehun doesn’t seem to be listening. “I’ve tried asking my contacts,” Junmyeon says eventually. “I’ve been discreet as possible, but no one can really figure out what’s wrong with her. My guess would be this is a Manticore related sickness.”

Kyungsoo sighs and runs a hand over his head, messing up his hair. “I do have an idea, but it’s not one I really want to go with.”

“What is it?”

He doesn’t answer, but reaches into his pocket for the cell phone Junmyeon gave him. “The less you know the better, probably.” He curls his fingers around the phone, decision made. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to do this, but it’s becoming apparent that if anyone would know what’s going on, HyunJong would be their best bet.

He goes back to Byulyi’s room and shoves his feet into his sneakers. “I’ll be back in a little bit,” he says to them both, but knowing he mostly only has MInseok’s attention.

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

Kyungsoo forces a smile on his face. “It’s like you don’t even know me.”

Outside it’s a typical Seattle day. A steady rain is falling from the sky and there are people buzzing about everywhere. For a moment, Kyungsoo can forget everything that’s currently wrong in his life. It’s just an ordinary day, Manticore doesn’t know about his general whereabouts, his sister isn’t on her deathbed, and he’s not in some weird confused unrequited love situation where he can’t even remember the other person.

He takes a deep breath, enjoying the smell of the damp air.

A few blocks away, Kyungsoo stops under an awning. The phone weighs heavy in his hand, but he ignores the heft of it and the twist in his gut to dial HyunJong’s number. He has to do this, for Byulyi.

“Sergeant Kim,” HyunJong answers the phone in his typical, no-nonsense tone.

Kyungsoo closes his eyes. “I need your help.”

A chair squeaks in Kyungsoo’s ear, possibly HyunJong reclining a bit in his office. “452, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“I found one of them,” he says quietly, hating the near taste of betrayal in his mouth. “My sister.”

“Which one?”

Kyungsoo lets out a sound, a clearing of his throat almost. “Does it matter? She’s sick. There’s something wrong with her. I think she’s dying.”

He hears HyunJong sigh. “Sick how? What are the symptoms?”

When he swallows, Kyungsoo’s throat clicks audibly. “She’s aging, rapidly. It looks as if she’s aged forty years over night.”

There’s the sound of a file cabinet opening and HyunJong searching for something. "This isn’t the first time this happened, but it’s very uncommon. It's a form of progeria; the spontaneous, rapid mutation of the genes. It expresses in the form of highly accelerated aging. Your,” HyunJong pauses on the next word, possibly not wanting to call Byulyi or any of the others that escaped Kyungsoo’s siblings. “ _Sister_ is the fourth X5 to develop it.”

“And how do we stop it?”

“Well,” he says, drawing the word out. “For now, you should put some ice on her. It’ll bring down her core temperature and slow down the aging, but the only permanent solution is to bring her back to Manticore. We have treatments that could help her.”

Kyungsoo lets out a shaky sigh. He was afraid of that. It always comes back to Manticore. “I’ll call you back.” He hangs up after that and stands under the awning for a while, gathering his thoughts. From the moment he decided on this, he knew that’s what HyunJong was going to say. Still, suspecting something and having that confirmed are two completely different things.

He thinks about that the entire walk back to Junmyeon’s.

When he makes it back inside, he’s slightly wet from the rain and kicks his shoes off right by Junmyeon’s door. Normally he’d try to be a better guest and self-conscious about shit like this, but his head is such a mess.

“So?” Junmyeon corners him by the door, looking just as anxious as he feels.

Kyungsoo rolls his shoulders back, trying to pull himself together. “We need to ice her down. It’ll slow the progression of what’s happening.”

His face gives nothing away, no curiosity as to why Kyungsoo suddenly knows this, no worry about whatever secrets Kyungsoo might be keeping. At least, Kyungsoo can’t see any of it; that could just be because he can’t read Junmyeon’s face like he can Minseok. “But?”

He lets his shoulders drop. “But, unless we send her back to Manticore, she’s going to die.”

Junmyeon face stays just as expressionless, but his eyes show nothing but sorrow. “Kyungsoo,” he says soft. “I’m sorry.”

Kyungsoo lets that settle over him, the sincerity in Junmyeon’s apology even though it’s not his fault and has next to nothing to do with him. He can’t deal with this right now, With Junmyeon and his emotions and feelings. Maybe he’ll never be able to, but right now he definitely can’t. “Yeah,” he rasps out. “Me, too.”

He skirts his way around Junmyeon and back to the room Byulyi and Minseok are in. Byulyi is currently asleep once more and Minseok is leaning up against the headboard next to her, occasionally running a hand over the top of her head. “Hey,” he says when he looks up and sees Kyungsoo. “Anything new?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head and sits at the end of the bed. “I called HyunJong.” He keeps his voice low for fear of Junmyeon hearing. “He said it was like progeria. The only way she’s going to live is if she goes back to Manticore.”

“What are you gonna do?”

He shrugs. “There’s not much I can. We can get some ice, it’ll help for a while, but in the end…”

Minseok looks down at Byulyi, displeasure taking over his face. “You have to tell her, Kyungsoo. It should be her choice.”

“I know,” he says. “I know, it’s just—“ He lets out a sound of frustration. “I can’t lose her again.”

Minseok opens his mouth as if he’s going to say something, possibly to berate Kyungsoo for being selfish, which he knows he’s being, when Byulyi speaks instead. “I don’t wanna die, Kyungsoo,” she says in her small, uneven voice. He’s almost positive that if he were to move closer and look at her face, she’d crying. “Please, don’t let me die.”

The hand Minseok has on her head goes back to brushing her hair away from her face, but he casts his eyes upward, quite possibly feeling as broken up as Kyungsoo is despite how little he knows about Byulyi or because of how much he knows this will hurt Kyungsoo.

“Okay,” he says back, voice near impossible to hear. “Anything you want.” And even though he knows it’s the right thing to do, Kyungsoo doesn’t feel very good about it.

 

*

 

Another call to HyunJong and a few hours later, Kyungsoo and Sehun are at a park a few sectors away with Byulyi. Kyungsoo gave Sehun the cold shoulder the entire ride over and even now, as he carries Byulyi from the car that they borrowed from Junmyeon to a park bench he does his best to ignore Sehun.

“Everything’s gonna be fine, okay?” He says to her after she’s been placed as comfortably as possible on the bench. “They’re gonna take care of you and when I can, I’ll come back and I’ll get you out of there. I swear to God.”

Byulyi reaches out a shaky hand to hold his. “I believe you.” She squeezes his hand slightly, weaker than she had that morning and it makes him not want to be here while all the same wanting to go back to Manticore with her to make sure nothing bad happens. Kyungsoo knows he can’t though it doesn’t change the desire to never take an eye off Byulyi again.

He keeps a careful eye on the time, not wanting to be around when the helicopter HyunJong sent for her arrives. Kyungsoo isn’t sure he’d be able to restrain himself from getting on as well if he were to stick around. It’s for the best really, even if it does cut into any remaining time he’d have with Byulyi.

There’s a soft whirring in the distance and a shift in the wind that tells Kyungsoo his time is up. He closes his eyes before he leans down and kisses the top of Byulyi’s head. “Please get better,” he says to her in a whisper. “No matter what it takes.”

She squeezes his hand again and doesn’t let up even as he tries to pull away. “I forgot to tell you,” she mumbles. “I found out who Eyes Only is.”

Kyungsoo risks a glance up at the sky before leaning in close to Byulyi once more. “What are you talking about? You’ve been in bed all day.”

Byulyi’s eyes open to meet his and he can tell that all of this, talking, looking at him, it’s all a strain on what energy she has left. “I’m just that good,” she replies, trying to add a cocky lit to her voice and failing miserably. She pulls on his hand lightly, trying to bring him closer to whisper in his ear. “It’s Junmyeon.”

He pulls back to look at her, but her eyes have fallen shut again. She’s still breathing, Kyungsoo can tell, but she’s on the verge of unconsciousness rather than just sleep this time. The whirring sound of the helicopter is closer now, moments away from being above them to send someone down for her. Time is both stopped and moving impossibly fast now. He can feel a hand on his shoulder, Sehun shouting at them that they need to go and feel the slackness of Byulyi’s hand in his own, but he can’t move.

Kyungsoo blinks and he’s in the car, sitting in the passenger seat as Sehun backs the car away from where they pulled up to the park bench.

He blinks again and they’re sitting in a lineup of cars waiting to get past a sector checkpoint.

It isn’t until they’ve been driving for a bit that Sehun speaks once more. “I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo forces himself to pay attention, to not check out and back to Byulyi who is on her way to Manticore, who could very much still die, would could just disappear like so many others.

Kyungsoo makes his throat work and asks in a weak voice, “Sorry for what?”

“You were right,” Sehun admits. “I was jealous.”

He looks at Sehun then, sees him instead of all the blurred buildings and other cars on the street he’s seen since they left Byulyi. Sehun looks self-conscious.

“I don’t understand what a family is and—and seeing you with Byulyi, it made me jealous. I want something like that.” His hands grip the steering wheel tighter than before, causing it to creak a little under the pressure. “Seeing you both, I realized that I can’t go back there and I didn’t know how to handle that, so I took it out on you, and I’m sorry.”

If Kyungsoo didn’t feel so broken and numb right now, he’d probably be really proud of Sehun for admitting that and saying it out loud, but all he can really do is nod and look back out the window. “We can talk about it later, okay?” Later when Kyungsoo doesn’t feel like his world has fallen apart again, when he doesn’t have to worry about how he’s going to save Byulyi from Manticore, or how he’s going to get rid of that shit hole in the first place. Later when he’s not coming to terms with the fact that Eyes Only has been right in front of his face the whole time.

 

*

 

Kyungsoo’s putting his messenger bag in his locker at JamPony a few days later, ready to be done with work so he and Minseok can hang out at Crash for a few hours and decompress when Ryeowook calls his name. He shares a look with Minseok, who’s also at his locker, before he slams his close and fixes the lock back on. “You know, Ryeowook, they call it business hours for a reason. I do believe I no longer have to make runs once four hits.”

When he gets to the counter, Kyungsoo is expecting Ryeowook to hand him another package, demanding he deliver it since technically he’s not off the clock for another three minutes. When he isn’t expecting is to see Yoochun standing there, conversing with Ryeowook like they’re old pals. He’s gonna be sick.

“It shocks me how such a smart mouth’d brat like you could be related to such a respectable man like Mr. Park here,” Ryeowook says, waving his clipboard dismissively at Kyungsoo. “Clearly the good traits skipped a generation.”

Yoochun laughs, it’s an over the top obnoxious sound that makes Kyungsoo want to stab him in the throat. “I suppose that’s the blessing of him only being my nephew.”

“Amen.” Ryeowook raises his clipboard to the heavens as he says this, then leaves his post behind the counter to deal with other people that work there, possibly to start clean up for the day.

Kyungsoo waits until Ryeowook is out of earshot before he glares at Yoochun and hisses, “ _Nephew?_ Please tell me that this is just a byproduct of your old age and you are losing your mind, because that is the only reason why you’d show your ugly mug at my job.”

Yoochun clicks his teeth. “Come now, Kyungsoo. Is it really so unbelievable we could be related?”

He fake gags, pressing a hand over his mouth and aiming for Yoochun’s shiny black shoes. “I’m gonna be sick.”

“Please stop being dramatic, Kyungsoo.” Yoochun sighs. “I didn’t come here to bother you, only to talk.”

Kyungsoo makes a face but stops acting up. He’d rather Yoochun talk and get it over with so he can leave faster than try to make the man uncomfortable. “So, talk.”

Yoochun glances around their surroundings before settling his gaze back on Kyungsoo, clasping his hands behind his back. He’s forgone the large overcoat today, wearing just his normal suit. It’s a little out of place in JamPony, since all the people here aside from Ryeowook are under the age of thirty and dress as simply as possible. “I wanted to thank you for delivering X5-734 to us. After X5-798’s stunt, we were worried that you were really the only one left out here, but it’s nice to see that at least one of them survived. It gives me hope.”

He rolls his eyes. “I didn’t _deliver_ her to you, Yoochun. Sending her back there was the only way to keep Byulyi from dying. I don’t care about you in the least.”

Yoochun sighs and pouts. “Kyungsoo, how could you say that? After everything we’ve been though?” He presses a hand to his chest, right above his heart. “I’m hurt.”

“You’ll live.”

After a moment, Yoochun drops the act and merely smiles at him. “You’re always so fun, Kyungsoo. Anyway, 734 is doing fine, she’s recovering nicely. I thought you’d be happy to know.”

He is happy, on some low, base level, but she’s still stuck at Manticore, and if she’s doing fine, then whatever comes next is probably going to be horrible. He hopes to break her out before it’s too late. “Thank you,” he forces out. “That means a lot to me.”

“I’m glad to be of service,” Yoochun says. “Until later, Kyungsoo.” He leaves without another word, striding out of JamPony like he owns the place. Hell, he could own the place for all Kyungsoo knows. There’s a horrifying thought. And now, Kyungsoo feels like he needs a shower.

Minseok picks that very moment to walk up to him, leaning into his side. “What was that about?”

“Yoochun being a creep as usual.”

“Gross,” Minseok says, undoubtedly making a face that mirrors Kyungsoo’s feelings. “What did he want?”

“News on Byulyi. She’s doing fine, full recovery.”

“Well, that’s good, right?”

Kyungsoo shrugs, jostling Minseok just a bit. “Yeah, in the grand scheme of things. But who knows what will happen now.”

Minseok gives him a half hug and pats his arm. “We’ll just have to hope for the best.”

 _Sure_ , Kyungsoo thinks. He’ll hope for the best, but he’ll also be painful aware that reality isn’t always that kind.

 

*

 

The next _official_ meeting Kyungsoo has with Yoochun it takes place over the phone. Why, Kyungsoo isn’t sure, but he’s not about to try to figure out Yoochun’s motives. He’s not that curious. He deals with the usual interrogation and feeds him some bullshit about how he’s still looking for Eyes Only, but is narrowing down the options. It shouldn’t be long now. Yoochun seems to accept this, though he’s less than thrilled.

“I’ve been patient, haven’t I, 452?” Kyungsoo clenches his teeth. “But I’m running out of patience. It’s almost been a month since I’ve put you on this assignment. I want results before we speak next.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t get a chance to respond before the dial tone is ringing in his ear. He clicks his teeth. “What a dick.”

Sehun looks up from his lunch, food that he paid for all on his own. In the days since his apology, Sehun has managed to find himself a job down in South Market and talked to Kyungsoo about ideas on how to take out Manticore for good. Together they still haven’t come up with a solution, but two heads are better than one, as they say. “Are you even still looking for Eyes Only, or is all this just lip service?”

He glares at Sehun and picks up his coffee instead. “I know who Eyes Only is, I’m just not telling Yoochun that.”

This seems to shock Sehun, for he stops eating his sandwich and stares at Kyungsoo with wide eyes. “How’d you find out?”

Kyungsoo eyes Sehun. “Do you know something that I don’t?”

“Uh, no?”

“Sehun.”

He pointedly looks back down at his lunch and shrugs. “I have a hunch, but I don’t want to be wrong.”

Kyungsoo kicks Sehun under the table. “Stop beating around the bush and just tell me.”

“Gentlemen,” HyunJong says from behind him. “I believe it’s time we had a talk.”

Sehun pouts at his lunch. “Dammit, this is why you don’t talk about these things in public, Kyungsoo.” Kyungsoo merely rolls his eyes and shoves all his trash together. Sehun is such a drama queen.

They follow HyunJong out of the sandwich joint they met up at for lunch and to his car parked a few blocks away in one of the scarce non-homeless populated parking lots in the city. Like most cars Kyungsoo sees, HyunJong’s isn’t anything to write home about, just another beat up SUV that is long overdue for a wash. Once they’re all inside the car, HyunJong doesn’t waste a minute to ask what he wants.

“Some things have been brought to my attention as of late,” HyunJong starts off ominously. “I have received a few concerned comments about Yoochun as of late; concerns about his priorities and his goals for Manticore.”

Kyungsoo laughs sarcastically. “What gave you the impression that I care about the goals for Manticore?”

HyunJong, who has his body facing forward, hands placed on the steering wheel, grips it tighter in frustration. “It is not the goal or progression of Manticore as a whole that I’m coming to you about, Kyungsoo.”

He risks a glance over his shoulder at Sehun in the back seat. “Then why are you here?” Sehun asks.

HyunJong closes his eyes, looking so much more human in this moment than in any other interaction that Kyungsoo has had with him. “There are people above myself, above Yoochun. Investors of sorts. They are the reason Manticore exists today and, as of late,they are not impressed with Yoochun’s performance and how much Manticore has been in the public eye.”

“What does that have to do with us?”

“These investors,” HyunJong says, “have decided to put an end to Project Manticore.”

Kyungsoo can’t believe what he’s hearing. This is a trap; it can’t be true. HyunJong and Yoochun know he’s planning something, know he’s been lying and now they’re trying to trick him. Lead him into a false sense of security so he’ll fall into a trap and end up back there once more. He won’t fall for it though. “Like I’m going to believe anything that comes out of your mouth.”

HyunJong lets out a sigh and covers his eyes with his left hand, elbow resting against the small ledge of the door window. “I really don’t care if you believe me,” he admits. “I came here to inform you and to ask for your help, if you wish to decline that is on you.”

“And what,” Sehun pipes up from the back seat. “Is it that you want our help with exactly?”

“Destroying Manticore.”

“You want to destroy Manticore?” Kyungsoo could die from laughing, this is so amusing. “That’s probably the best joke I’ve heard all year.” He shakes his head. “You chased me down for ten years, finally captured my ass and now, after all this time and lip service about how good Manticore is, _now_ you want me to help you destroy it? You’re insane.”

HyunJong sighs. “Sometimes, we have to do things we don’t necessarily approve of to survive.”

“Wait, is this about your job?” Sehun asks. “You want our help so you have an in when everything's said and done?”

HyunJong doesn’t answer.

How typical of a Manticore agent, Kyungsoo thinks, only looking out for himself. “And what happens to the rest of them? To us?”

He clears his throat, as if to play off something, what Kyungsoo isn’t sure. “Well, in situations like this it’s not unheard of for some to escape.”

Sehun snorts. “Escape.”

“Yes.”

“And then what?” Kyungsoo asks. “We’re on the run from you for the rest of our lives?”

As the conversation goes on, HyunJong seems to grow increasingly impatient with it. “With Manticore gone any record of you will be destroyed as well. No one will know who you are, where you came from. You’ll just be some kid with a barcode tattooed on their neck.”

Kyungsoo looks back at Sehun, making full eye contact this time. He looks weary, but curious. Kyungsoo understands the feeling, but he’s more worried about how much truth HyunJong’s words hold. “And how do we know you won’t double cross us?”

“You don’t.”

“Way to really sell your pitch, HyunJong.” Sehun snorts.

“Look,” HyunJong says on a sigh. “You don’t know what I’ll do and I don’t know what you’ll do, not in the future, but for right now I’m offering to work _with you_ in a mutually beneficial endeavor to put an end to Manticore. There’s something not entirely right about Yoochun, I’ve noticed it before, but I have no idea what he’s planning and I’d rather not find out what it is. Will you help me or not?”

 _No_ , Kyungsoo wants to say. _I won’t help some bottom feeding scum like you who just wants to keep their own hide safe_ , but the idea of Manticore being gone. His biggest threat. It’s so very tempting. Life would be easier. Not perfect, but easier. He thinks he could live with that.

That being said, they also say, _stick to the devil you know_ and Kyungsoo isn’t sure he wants to know about all the other demons of the world that could possibly want to hunt him down.

“We’re gonna think about it,” he says finally and opens the car door before slipping out. “I’ll call you.” Kyungsoo slams the door shut and walks away before Sehun can even get out of the car. His lunch break was over five minutes ago, and he’s got some thinking to do.

 

*

 

“Let me get this straight,” Minseok says after swallowing his mouthful of beer. “Big Bad HyunJong, who has been chasing you for years, wants your help?”

Kyungsoo nods and pops one of the snacks from the bowl at their table into his mouth. “Realistically phrasing it like that makes our relationship sound more suggestive than it really is, but yes. HyunJong wants my help.”

Minseok laughs, some mildly unattractive half laugh half snort thing that tells Kyungsoo he can’t believe it either. “May wonders never cease.” He takes another sip of his beer. “So, what are you gonna do?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. Sehun seems interested, but what if it goes wrong?”

“Well, that was the case when you handed off Byulyi, and you trusted him then,” Minseok points out. He places the beer glass on the table and spreads his hands out on the surface. “Let’s weigh your options. Say you do help HyunJong, there’s the possibility everything he said is a lie and he’s just trying to trick you, get your favor so you’ll go back to Manticore for whatever reason and they fuck you over.”

“The fact you’re so blasé about my well-being is concerning.”

He rolls his eyes at Kyungsoo. “I’ve come to learn that being overly concerned with you is exhausting and my energy is better spent trying to rescue you from trouble than keep you out of it in the first place.”

Kyungsoo considers this. “Does that make me the damsel in distress?”

Minseok raises an eyebrow. “No, and that’s mildly sexist of you. It makes you lowkey incompetent, but I love you regardless.”

“Oh, well in that case proceed, please.” He steals Minseok’s beer to drink from instead of going to fill their empty pitcher.

“ _Anyway_ ,” Minseok says, getting them back on track. “There’s also the possibility that everything will go fine and you’ll be rid of manticore forever. I don’t know about you, but that’s appealing, especially after what I’ve seen this past year. I can’t imagine how living with that nonsense all your life would be.” Kyungsoo merely lifts a shoulder in a half shrug. “Okay, say you don’t help HyunJong, then what?”

Then what indeed. HyunJong wasn’t very forth coming on whatever is up with Yoochun, not that Kyungsoo really cares, but that means anything is possible. “That means we still have a wild Yoochun loose in the world, and whatever he’s planning will come to be.” Kyungsoo takes another sip of beer. “Oh, and I’ll probably have to go back to Manticore again.”

“That seems like more than enough of a reason to go along with HyunJong’s plan, don’t you think?”

Kyungsoo hates it when Minseok is the logical one of the two of them, not that he didn’t know that helping HyunJong was the only real option he had to survive. He’s allowed moments to be obtuse, at least once in awhile. “I know,” he says with a sigh. “But helping HyunJong.” Kyungsoo wrinkles his nose, as if he’s tasted something disgusting.

Minseok reaches out to pat his shoulder in a mock-consoling matter. “There, there,” he says and uses his other hand to reach for his beer only to find it empty. He peers into the empty glass then turns his gaze on Kyungsoo. “Really?”

“I wasn’t gonna interrupt you in the middle of being a very wise and caring friend to get another pitcher.” Kyungsoo tries to keep his face innocent, knowing full well Minseok won’t buy it.

He scoffs. “Don’t butter me up. You’re buying the next round.”

Kyungsoo sighs and grabs their empty pitcher with a, “Yes, Minseok,” as he stands from their table.

Before he has a chance to walk away though, Minseok stops him with a tug on his wrist. “I’m with you no matter what you choose,” he says, bringing them back to the issue at hand. “Even if it’s dangerous.”

“Everything about me is dangerous,” Kyungsoo replies.

Minseok looks at him skeptically. “I think you need to recheck your definition of dangerous.” He squeezes Kyungsoo’s wrist before dismissing him. “Go, bring me the finest alcoholic beverage money can buy!”

With a shake of his head, Kyungsoo heads over to the bar.

 

*

 

The sight of HyunJong’s car is more than unpleasant for Kyungsoo. He wishes nothing more than to sell it for scrap. It’s gotta be worth a couple grand he figures, even with how shitty it looks. But he figures stealing and selling the guy’s wheels probably isn’t a gesture of good faith and trust that needs to be presented between them, even if trust is not something that will ever exist.

They’re meeting in a disclosed location, far from Kyungsoo’s usual hang outs even though that has proven to be useless since Yoochun knows where he lives. Precaution though, Kyungsoo believes, is everything.

“Are you sure this is a good idea,” Sehun says from behind him, undoubtedly bending over just a bit to keep the words low so only Kyungsoo can hear them as HyunJong makes his way to where they’re standing. “What is the plan exactly?”

Kyungsoo rolls his shoulders back, straightening his spine so he stands just a bit taller. “Just follow my lead.” He can practically hear Sehun roll his eyes.

When HyunJong reaches them, he stands with his hands in the pockets of a leather jacket, looking as put together as always, dangerous yet unassuming. “I’m happy we can work together on this.”

Holding his hand up, Kyungsoo says, “Before we agree to anything, I have some conditions.”

HyunJong’s face stays perfectly blank. “And they are?”

“You’re going to tell me why there are holes in my memory for starters. Right now.”

Sehun groans from behind him. “Are you fucking serious?” He mumbles and Kyungsoo elbows him in the gut, hissing “be quiet” under his breath.

“I can’t say I was expecting that,” HyunJong says carefully. “It was Yoochun’s idea, if you can believe it.” Kyungsoo fights the urge to snap back at him, wanting to move the conversation along as quickly as possible. “Tell me Kyungsoo, have you found out who Eyes Only is?”

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes. “What does that have to—“

Of course. It’s glaringly obvious when he puts the pieces together. It was a trick all along. Remove the vital bits of information from Kyungsoo’s head, tell him to find this person with a code name in hopes that Kyungsoo will kill him and then probably reveal the whole big plan once the deed is done. Genius. Disgusting, but genius, Kyungsoo has to give them that.

“You people make me sick,” he hisses. “What purpose would any of that have served? _”Oh by the way, the guy you killed? You were in a relationship with him. Enjoy that!”_ It wouldn’t have meant anything if I couldn’t actually remember him!”

HyunJong’s expression doesn’t change, stays perfectly neutral. “I never said Yoochun was full of good ideas, now did I?”

“That’s fucking sick regardless and you know it.”

“What do you want me to say, Kyungsoo? I’m sorry for your loss of memories? For almost taking away the person you’re involved with?” he scoffs. “You’re not like them, you’re a soldier.”

Kyungsoo stomps his way over to HyunJong and shoves him against his own car, grabbing the collar of his shirt as he does so. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now.”

Unimpressed as always, HyunJong just blinks, somewhat slowly, at him. “Because that’s not who you are. You didn’t kill Donghae, Kyungsoo. Junmyeon Kim did.”

“So, what?”

“He did it to protect you.”

Kyungsoo lets out a sound from his throat, jerks HyunJong’s body so the back of his head slams against the frame of the car. Nothing to knock him out, just enough to hurt. He wants to do it again but Sehun is there before he has the chance, pulling him away from HyunJong.

“Why is Sehun involved in all of this?” he asks, not bothering to fight his way out of Sehun’s grip. He could if he tried, but the illusion that someone is holding him back is comforting. Or something.

HyunJong brings a hand up to the back of his head, eyes shut tightly as he probes at the bump undoubtedly forming. He shakes his head a bit, though Kyungsoo hopes it only makes things worse. “Before your mission, Sehun showed a lot of potential. We figured if any of the other X5’s would be able to keep you in line, he’d be the one.” He glances up at the two of them. “Though, it appears that we were mistake on how Sehun’s loyalties fall.”

“What else is new, honestly?”

Straightening himself out, HyunJong asks, “Does everything have to be back talk with you?”

“I believe it’s one of my better qualities,” Kyungsoo replies.

HyunJong smooths the back of his hair down. “Your other conditions?”

He doesn’t really have any. Kyungsoo figured getting those answers would be hard enough as it is. Though, he is curious. “Can you put them back?”

“Technically, yes,” he says. “But my plan will make that near impossible.” Kyungsoo figured as much. He shrugs himself out of Sehun’s slackened grip, putting distance between them. “There’s a chance they’ll come back over time. It’s not that they’re missing so much as buried. All your memories remain intact, just hidden among other, more important things.”

Because altering someone’s brain is always okay for the greater good of Manticore, of course. “Fine.” It’s anything but fine, but Kyungsoo can’t really do anything about it. He glances over his shoulder at Sehun. “Do you have anything you want from them?”

Sehun shrugs. “It’s not like I had a life before this, I’m not missing anything, don’t need anything from them.” He eyes Sehun carefully to make sure he’s telling the truth, nodding when it appears so.

A silence falls over them, long and awkward. Sehun and Kyungsoo staring at HyunJong and him returning it with an unreadable look.

“So, what’s the plan?”

 

*

 

Currently Junmyeon is pacing his living room, running a hand through his hair, trying to put all the pieces together. Minseok and Sehun are seated on the couch while the infamous Baekhyun is lounging in a rather uncomfortable looking armchair and Kyungsoo is watching all of this from the window he’s leaning against. His eyes track Junmyeon’s back and forth movement across the room.

“Am I hearing this correctly? You want me to help you help HyunJong.” Finally, he stops his pacing right in the middle of the room and looks dead at Kyungsoo.

“Helping me help him would also be helping you, technically.”

Junmyeon nods. “Right, of course, because apparently, they want me dead. A piece of information I probably should’ve known before now.”

Kyungsoo squints, just a bit. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at, but now that you understand the situation—“

Junmyeon laughs in that hysterical way people do when they really have no idea how to react. “But I really don’t Kyungsoo. First you tell me that Manticore wants me dead—“

“I mean, it’s not really that surprising,” Baekhyun cuts in. “Y’know, _considering_.”

Junmyeon glares at Baekhyun, “Not helping,” he says, Baekhyun shrugs in reply uncaringly, tipping his head back to stare up at the ceiling.

“So they want me dead and thought you were the best person for the job, since you know me and we’re involved with—“

“We _were_ involved,” Kyungsoo cuts him off. “Past tense since a, we aren’t anymore and b, I don’t actually remember the details.”

He stares at Kyungsoo for a fraction of a second before blinking. “Right. Okay.” Junmyeon starts pacing again. “So, because of that they removed your memories of us and sent you after me.”

“Well,” Sehun decides to offer his two cents. “I wouldn’t really call it that. I don’t think Kyungsoo ever really had any intention of finding out who Eyes Only was. It just worked out in the end.”

Junmyeon stares at the room at large, standing at the edge in the doorway between the living room and his office. “Is everyone going to comment the entire time?”

“Probably, yes,” Minseok says.

“Look.” Kyungsoo pushes himself away from the window and makes his way closer to the rest of them. “I’m not sure why you need to go over this for a third time but the essential point is we need your help. You and Baekhyun, and if you don’t help us and we fail Yoochun is going to kill you.” He glances at Baekhyun. “Both of you, because it’s not going to take long for him to figure out Baekhyun knows something too. And then he’s going to go after Minseok and we’ll end up back in Manticore. So, I’m asking for your help Junmyeon, please.”

Junmyeon seems to deflate at that, shoulder slumping. “Okay.” He rubs the back of his neck, rotating his head a bit before he nods. “Okay,” he says again. “What’s HyunJong’s plan?”

“ _Thank you_.” Kyungsoo means it more than he wants to admit but he has a suspicion that with the way Junmyeon looks at him, he knows how deep Kyungsoo’s thanks really go. He pulls himself together and forces any emotion off his face. “Basically, we’re gonna blow up Manticore.”

Baekhyun laughs, this high-pitched sound escaping from his throat. “You’re insane, you know that, right?” He pushes himself out of the uncomfortable looking chair to stand with Junmyeon and Kyungsoo. “Blow up and entire military-esque facility? No, that’s okay. You can help,” he points to Junmyeon. “But I am out of here.”

“I’m asking for your help, Baekhyun. I can’t actually do this by myself.”

He turns to face Kyungsoo with the couch between them, Sehun on one end and Minseok on another. There’s still that disbelieving smile on his face as he crosses his arms. “Is that supposed to convince me to help you? A week ago, you couldn’t even remember who I was!”

Kyungsoo tightens his hands up, curling his fingers into the back of the couch, digging them into the fabric. “I know, and I’m sorry. I wish I could remember but I _can’t_ Baekhyun, you need to understand that, and that’s not something you can hold against me.”

“ _Watch me._ ” He lets his arms drop to his sides and turns away from Kyungsoo, from all of them and starts to head out.

Kyungsoo struggles for something to say that would get Baekhyun on his side, but then he really thinks about it, thinks about what he’s seen of Baekhyun in the last half hour. The way his body is always directed towards Junmyeon in some way or another, even in the subtlest fashion. “Okay,” he says slowly. “If you won’t do it for me or for Minseok even, what about Junmyeon? You’re his friend, right?”

“Kyungsoo, what are you—“

He rounds the couch walking over to where Baekhyun is, grabbing his wrist. “You’d do anything you can to help him, right?” He lowers the volume of his voice when they’re standing right next to each other. “Help me because it’ll help _Junmyeon_. Because while there’s plenty of people out there that would want him dead, you can prevent one big bad organization from making it happen.”

Baekhyun stares at him, eyes wide and mouth agape as if he can’t understand why Kyungsoo would do this, say these things. He looks as if he wants to put distance between them but Kyungsoo can’t do that, not until they have an agreement.

“And what happens if I agree? What if something goes wrong?”

“No,” Kyungsoo hisses and tightens his grip on Baekhyun’s wrist. “Don’t even say that.”

For a split second, he looks as scared as Kyungsoo feels himself.

Finally, he nods and looks away from Kyungsoo. “Okay,” Baekhyun says. “Fine. I’ll help.”

Kyungsoo lets go of Baekhyun’s wrist and offers a slight smile. He doesn’t say thank you, but he hopes he convenes it properly on his face before he turns away. The other three are looking at him when he finally faces the room and the look immediately drops from his face. “ _What?_ ”

“Were you always this soft?” Sehun asks. “Because I can’t imagine you surviving out here for ten years by yourself.”

Kyungsoo narrows his eyes. “I’m going to ignore that, only because I need you alive to make this happen.” He rotates his shoulders a bit to stretch them out. “So, HyunJong’s plan is to blow up Manticore, specifically the DNA Lab. It’s the best target, but if we do this right we’ll get rid of most of the building. The same building also conveniently has a security measure in place. In case of emergencies, there is a destruct procedure. It’s core location is close to the DNA lab, ensuring all traces of their research are destroyed if ever used. We blow up the lab and it’ll set off the rest of the system, blowing up all of Manticore.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun says. “But why not just use the destruct procedure? That HyunJong guy works there, surely he can do it.”

“We thought about that,” Kyungsoo admits. “But HyunJong doesn’t have clearance for it. Only Yoochun and he’s part of the reason we’re doing this in the first place. This is our only option.”

A look over takes Junmyeon’s face. “And what about everyone inside?”

“If we’re lucky, they’ll end up dead,” Sehun answers before Kyungsoo can try.

Junmyeon’s gaze goes from Kyungsoo to Sehun. “You can’t be serious.”

Sehun laughs. “Come on now, many of the staff would find any reason to kill you if they know who you are for whatever reason as long as it benefits them. And the other transgenic? Well,” he shrugs. “A lot of them wouldn’t be okay out here. And the younger ones would have nowhere to go, so.”

“Those are people you’re talking about, you can’t be so cavalier about killing them.”

“I think I can, actually.” Sehun’s amusement turns into a glare. “Or would you like to tell me what I can and can’t do as well?”

Junmyeon lets out a groan, expressing his frustration. Kyungsoo kind of knows how he feels even though part of him wants to agree with Sehun. “I don’t care what you do, to be honest,” Junmyeon admits. “But those other transgenics, those kids? They’re people too, just like you and Kyungsoo. And if you two are so adamant to be seen as a person, as a human being like everyone else that isn’t made in a lab, you’d have a little more to say than _’I hope they burn to death’_ , because until you act like a person, no one is going to see you as one.” He walks out of the room after that, calling for Kyungsoo to follow him, “Can I speak to you? Alone.”

Kyungsoo exchanges a look with Minseok and sees Sehun roll his eyes, ever the petulant child.

They bypass Junmyeon’s office, Junmyeon seeming to find it too close to the living room and for others to overhear. Next to the front door of Junmyeon’s apartment they stop with Junmyeon leaning against the door looking tired as usual. “I need you to be honest with me.”

“Okay,” Kyungsoo says slowly.

“If we didn’t do this, would there be any chance of them fixing your head? Your memories?”

Kyungsoo doesn’t really know how to feel about this question. He knows that part of him should appreciate that Junmyeon cares about him and their time together to ask such a question, but a larger part of him feels something close to insulted. It’s not a purposeful feeling but Kyungsoo doesn’t really understand what’s so important about what he’s missing that Junmyeon feels the need to ask. Kyungsoo can’t be any different than the person that Junmyeon knows, not by much, but maybe he is. He’ll never truthfully know.

He forces the feeling away, trying not to be annoyed at Junmyeon’s question. “HyunJong said it was possible. The memories aren’t gone, just buried. He said it’s possible that they could come back over time.”

Junmyeon seems to let this sink in as he nods his head a few times then lets out a sigh. “But we can’t not go through with the plan, can we?”

“It wouldn’t be in our best interest, no.”

He rolls his head against the door, looking at Kyungsoo, eye to eye. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Kyungsoo doesn’t even know what that’s about, but he could take a guess. “Because you’re in love with me?”

Junmyeon closes his eyes. “That’s part of it, but just everything in general.”

“What do you usually do in high tension situations like this? Feelings of romantic interest not included.”

A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “Research, formulate a plan.”

“Well, what makes this time so different?” Kyungsoo asks.

“Usually my life isn’t on the line if I fail.”

“What about before?” he glances down at Junmyeon’s legs. “The one that resulted in that.”

Junmyeon shrugs awkwardly. “It wasn’t my own life I had to worry about then.”

Kyungsoo can’t help but snort. “That’s kind of backward, you realize. Usually people would do more to keep themselves alive than someone else.”

“Like you’re one to talk,” Junmyeon says. “You always put yourself at risk for others.”

“Maybe I just don’t care,” he replies softly. Junmyeon doesn’t have a response for that, not that Kyungsoo expected him to. “I know you don’t agree with Sehun’s mentality, and I don’t necessarily either, but worrying about everyone in Manticore is too much of a risk.”

Junmyeon watches him for a second. “Are you saying this because of your own feelings? Because of Byulyi?”

“I’m trying not to think about her,” he admits, even though that’s nearly impossible now. It’s all he thinks about, worries about. He wants to help Byulyi, to get her out of there, but there’s no possible way to make that happen in this plan and not get caught himself. Kyungsoo has to give up his only remaining sibling and it’s eating away at him inside.

He nods, respecting Kyungsoo wishes.

“We should head back out there,” Kyungsoo nods towards the living room. “Before Baekhyun or Sehun wanna have a ‘who can be more childish’ battle.” He doesn’t wait to see if Junmyeon agrees before he turns around and heads back, but by the chuckle he hears and the soft padding of feet behind him, Kyungsoo knows.

 

*

 

HyunJong tests the binding around his wrists, wiggling for a moment as he looks down at the chair he’s bound to. “You’re not showing me a whole lot of trust here, 452.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo drawls out. They’ve found an abandoned warehouse to set their plan in motion, get themselves together. It’s cold even for the time of year, sitting right along the waterfront of Elliot Bay. He sits atop an empty crate, legs folded up as he watches HyunJong’s every move intensely. “See, you may have a plan, but you don’t exactly have my trust. I can’t let you just wander around freely, can I?”

HyunJong doesn’t get a chance to respond. “How does this plan work exactly,” Baekhyun asks instead. He’s tinkering with a gun, his perhaps. Maybe stolen. It’s a nice piece, if you’re into guns, which Kyugnsoo is not. “Kyungsoo said something about blowing up the DNA lab, but I’m not really sure where you fit into this.”

HyunJong clenches his teeth and rolls his shoulders, easing some of the pressure on them. “I’ve worked at Manticore for many years—“

“So, you’re old,” Baekhyun says smartly, turning the safety of his gun back on and placing it on another empty crate. “Big deal, we can see that.” Kyungsoo suppresses the urge to snicker.

He turns his gaze to Baekhyun. “I’m sorry, I don’t really understand where _you_ fit into all of this. You’re not one of my kids, you’ve never come up on Manticore’s radar. So why are you here?”

Baekhyun bares his teeth in a mock growl, most likely getting ready to say something smart. Or stupid, either is possible Kyungsoo has noticed. “Baekhyun has done a lot of work with Eyes Only. For him, with him. The organization he’s a part of very close to Eyes Only, so if he’s at risk, so is Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo hops down from the crate then walks over to HyunJong’s chair. “Not that it’s any of your business. You said you wanted help, that we needed help, well, Baekhyun is here to help.”

HyunJong seems very displeased by this but gets back to the point. “I know the layout of Manticore inside and out, like the back of my hand. I am the only chance any of you have to pulling this off undetected.”

“And why can’t you do this on your own if you’re so masterful?” Minseok asks.

“Because Yoochun is on my ass every chance he gets. I wouldn’t be able to set anything up, but 452 and 494 have a chance of going undetected. There’s a shot it might work.”

“Which also means there’s a chance it might not,” Junmyeon retorts. “That’s a big risk for one guy.”

“Yes,” HyunJong says.

A heavy silence falls over the room, thick like fog. Kyungsoo doesn’t want to do this, would rather drop HyunJong into the bottom of the Bay, but he can’t. That doesn’t mean he really trusts HyunJong to have their best interests in mind. “Don’t double cross us, HyunJong,” he warns evenly. “Or it’ll be the last thing you ever do.”

HyunJong looks Kyungsoo dead in the eye and swears, “I can assure you, I am a man of my word.”

After a brief staring contest, Kyungsoo unbinds his arms. “Fine. Let’s get this over with.”

 

*

 

“Are you ready for this?” Sehun asks as he adjusts the zipper of his thin black jacket. It hugs his body, just like Kyungsoo’s own, just like their nondescript black pants and combat boots. For a fraction of a second, Kyungsoo feels as if he’s just doing another one of his cat burglar gigs and not about to take down the biggest pain in his ass.

He snorts. “Not even close.”

They’re stationed a few miles outside of Manticore. Far enough where Junmyeon and Baekhyun have a chance of survival if things go wrong, but close enough where comm interference won’t be a problem. There’s a van off to the side equipped with computers and monitors and other gear that’ll help Junmyeon hack into Manticore’s low-level security systems and watch them from the cameras. Baekhyun, while not nearly as skillful as Junmyeon, is also on computer duty, though Kyungsoo isn’t one hundred percent sure about that. He might just be on monitor watch and can’t admit it.

“I’m in,” Junmyeon announces and swivels around in the computer chair to face the open side door of the van. “I’ve accessed the internal surveillance system. All the camera feeds now have loops so no one should see you come in or out, but we will. We’ll be able to keep an eye on you the entire time, make sure no one sneaks up behind you.”

Kyungsoo stares at him for a second, cataloging the worry in his eyes before he turns away to HyunJong and the map he’s holding. “Okay. Sehun will proceed via service corridor 4-Alpha to the main and auxiliary generators and set chargers. I’m taking the basement to the east airshaft, from there I’ll make my way to the DNA Lab and set the charges. At 0430 we set the chargers and by 0440 firing sequence will commence. We won’t have much time to get out after that, the whole place will be on high alert, but there’s a chance.”

“Everything’s always a chance with you, Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun calls from the depths of the van.

 _You have no idea_ , Kyungsoo thinks.

“Here,” HyunJong says, pulling out a small jar from his pocket. “Your key into the lab.”

Kyungsoo lifts the jar up, holding it between his thumb and forefinger delicately.

“That’s an eyeball,” Sehun states. “That,” he repeats carefully slow, “is a man’s eyeball.”

Minseok looks pale when Kyungsoo chances a glance at him. He was the one that had the unfortunate pleasure of accompanying HyunJong on that journey. Kyungsoo now regrets letting him go along. “Yes, Sehun,” Minseok seems to find his voice to say. “And I would like it if you’d _stop repeating that _.”__

“But it’s—“

Kyungsoo shoves it into his pocket and pulls a backpack with the small but effective bombs they made for the DNA lab onto his back. “Right, so use that to get into the lab, place the charges. Simple.” He turns to Sehun. “You remember your route?”

Sehun finds his composure and pulls himself together and nods. “I’m a professional, I know what I’m doing.” Kyungsoo merely rolls his eyes.

“Rendezvous here at 0448.” Everyone nods their agreement and that’s that. Plan is in motion. The final hour. Kyungsoo should be more nervous than he is, more anxious, but he’s not. He’s not picturing all the ways that this could go wrong, all his friends dead. He’s not dreading them pulling this off only to come back and find HyunJong double crossed them anyway and is in the wind. He’s not thinking about any of it.

Sehun takes off into the woods first, disappearing in a flash. Kyungsoo waits a few moments before starting to follow, but Minseok takes hold of his arm before he can get going.

“I’m scared for you,” he says quietly. “I know you’re not, but I am. I’ll be the one that’s scared so you can stay focused.”

 ___I don’t think that’s how it works_ , __Kyungsoo wants to say, but he doesn’t. He looks down at Minseok’s hand on his arm and covers it with his own free hand. “Everything’s gonna be fine,” he assures Minseok in the same soft tone. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

“But what if you aren’t? In all seriousness, Kyungsoo. What do I do?”

This is something he has thought about the past few days, try as he might, the thought just wouldn’t leave his head. “There’s a bank account in my name with money that Yoochun has been putting into since I came back. It was to fund a—a lifestyle I guess. I don’t know. Take the money, if I don’t come back. Take it and leave Seattle, okay? Junmyeon will help you figure it out, I’m sure.” He doesn’t want to have this conversation, doesn’t want to see Minseok cry, but here they are. Kyungsoo is using all he has to force the feelings away, place them in a box and lock them all up until later when he’s allowed to _ __feel things___ again. But only later.

Somehow that still translates to pulling Minseok into a tight, bruising hug, letting Minseok bury his face into his neck. “Promise me, Minseok,” he whispers.

Minseok nods and says a muffled, “I promise.” And while Kyungsoo wishes he had more time to dwell on this moment, to think about Baekhyun and Junmyeon, he doesn’t. Minseok can, he knows Minseok will, but Kyungsoo doesn’t have the time so he squeezes Minseok once more and pulls away, darting off into the woods behind Sehun.

 

*

 

At the edge of the forest outside of Manticore, staring at the large oppressive building with its ten-foot-tall fences with barbed wire and bright tower spotlights, Kyungsoo remembers. He remembers being a child in there. He remembers the things they had him endure, had him do. He remembers the escape.

Kyungsoo remembers all the stuff he wants to forget and none of the things he knows he should remember. It solidifies his resolve that this is the right thing to do and if he doesn’t do this, he’ll never truly be alive. Until Manticore is gone, Kyungsoo will always be dead inside.

He wants to say something inspirational, but Kyungsoo’s never been good at that so he shares a look with Sehun who is standing next to him, waiting and then they head off down to meet their fate. Running down the sloping hill and using their enhanced strength to jump the height of the fence.

From there they sneak into the building, virtually the easy part, Kyungsoo knows. Getting out will be more difficult. In front of Kyungsoo walks Sehun as they both stay crouched low to the ground. He’s got his gun poised, ready to fire and while Kyungsoo doesn’t really approve, he can’t find cause to argue in this very moment, knowing that it’s either whoever gets shot by it or them.

Eventually they split up, Kyungsoo making his way into the vents and crawling through them. It’s not pleasant and if he had time to complain about it, he would.

When he drops down into the corridor right before the sealed DNA Lab, Kyungsoo freezes and looks up at the closest security camera. “Junmyeon,” he says lowly into the mic clipped to his jacket.

There’s a soft buzz of feedback in Kyungsoo’s ear before Junmyeon responds. “I see you,” he replies. “You’re clear.”

Kyungsoo nods at the camera before slinking down the hall further and towards the door.

He pulls the jar out of his pocket and stares at the eye that stares back at him for a moment. That’s going to be disgusting, and he’s not entirely sure he won’t vomit from it, but he uncaps the jar anyway.

The eye is shiny and wet still. Fresh, his mind supplies. When his fingers touch it, it’s slick and gooey to the touch and he can see the faint trail of blood left over from the veins on his hand in the dim light.

“Fuck,” he hisses to himself and pulls down the scanner with his eyeless hand then shoves the eye towards it, waiting for the system to do its job.

Five painful, sickening seconds later the screen flashes a green _Approved_ at him and he nearly throws the eye down the hall, but instead forces himself to shove it back into the jar and once more into his pocket as he slips inside the DNA Lab.

He’s frozen on the spot the moment he makes it inside. It’s an octagon shaped room and each wall aside from where the door, that is not sliding closed behind him, is covered in glass with barcodes imprinted on them, evenly spaced. Behind each barcode sits a vial of green liquid. He has to fight to not look for his own on these walls, not wanting to see would be classified as _X5-452_ because that’s not him, that is not Kyungsoo. The only rendition of him is standing right there, flesh and bone. Anything else would be a cheap imitation.

Still, as he stares at these walls, Kyungsoo finds it hard to swallow past the lump in his throat.

“Kyungsoo?” Comes Junmyeon’s concerned voice over the comm. “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head. “Nothing, it’s fine.” Kyungsoo slips the bag off his back and quickly unzips it, moving towards the first wall, and placing down the brick of putty and putting their tiny bombs in place. He repeats this for the rest of the walls then looks around for the room’s camera.

“It’s done, they’re in place.”

“Alright,” comes HyunJong’s voice. “Get out of there.”

Kyungsoo nods and heads for the door only to stop when it opens before he reaches it and reveals Yoochun. “Well, look what the cat dragged in,” he says, smiling at Kyungsoo in that way that makes his skin crawl. He glances around the room. “Planning a party, are we? And you didn’t invite me? That’s very rude of you.”

“Sorry,” Kyungsoo says. “There was a limited number of guests allowed, but since you’re here now…” He doesn’t know why he does it, it was a stupid plan from the start, but still, Kyungsoo tries to make a break for the door the moment Yoochun is away from it to slip through before it closes.

Yoochun laughs as he grabs Kyungsoo’s arm. His strength is nothing compared to Kyungsoo’s but he’s still rendered immobilized in that very second, still throw off by the contents of the room and the sudden appearance of Yoochun. “Ambitious today, aren’t we?” Yoochun says, all too close to his ear. “I do like your spunk, 452, it’s always so thrilling.”

“Can’t blame me to trying,” he says, trying to keep what’s left of his composure intact.

Yoochun hums as he pulls Kyungsoo closer. “If you’re here, I’m assuming 494 is in the building somewhere as well. The X7’s will find him shortly, I’m sure. They’re my personal favorite. Bats thrown into that mix. A little strange to witness, but still effective.”

Kyungsoo tries to pull out of Yoochun’s grip weakly. “You’re not gonna monologue, are you? Because I’d rather you just kill me.”

 _”Kyungsoo,”_ Junmyeon hisses in his ear. It makes him flinch, bringing attention to the earpiece.

“Oh.” Yoochun sounds excited now. “Is there a little birdy in your ear, 452? Is he bothering you? Let me take care of that.” He pulls the com out and looks at it for a moment, almost impressed, then places it in his own ear. “And who is this?” He asks the air.

 _Please_ , Kyungsoo prays, _don’t answer him_ , and he hopes to God that Junmyeon listens, that they all listen.

By the smile that takes over Yoochun’s face, no one does, but he wasn’t really counting on it anyway. “Finally, the infamous Eyes Only. I would say it’s a pleasure, but you’ve been a thorn in my side for far too long.”

“God dammit,” Kyungsoo hisses. “You couldn’t just keep your mouth shut could you,” he says to Junmyeon who he can no longer hear. “You always have to be a fucking hero, don’t you?”

“Hush now, 452,” Yoochun says, “the adults are talking.” And he presses a hand over Kyungsoo’s mouth.

He’s not really sure why he’s still in this position, or why he’s letting this lab affect him so much. It doesn’t mean anything, not really. So, they’ve got the genetic material that makes him in a test tube, big deal. There is only one Kyungsoo, and only one person that hates Yoochun as much as he does.

Kyungsoo puts all the pieces of himself back together and rips himself from Yoochun’s grip, breaking the earpiece of the coms, ripping it right out of Yoochun’s ear in the process and it clatters to the floor.

Yoochun lets out a sharp sound, not necessarily pain, but more shock as he presses a hand to his ear. When he pulls it away, he glares at Kyungsoo, eyes no longer amused and joking. “I’m getting tired of these games, 452. It’s time they stopped.”

He tilts his head and considers this. “And I’m tired of being called the wrong name, but you don’t see me complaining.”

“You don’t have a name,” Yoochun says. “You have a designation. X5-452, really, this whole name thing is so last century. Who wants a name anymore?” He doesn’t wait for a response before he pulls a gun from behind his back where it was possibly tucked in the waistband of his slacks, hidden beneath the fabric of his waistcoat. “You know, I was beginning to doubt you. Your skills, your loyalty, but in the end, you did exactly as I asked. You found Eyes Only for me.”

Kyungsoo hears the flick of the safety going off but doesn’t take his eyes off Yoochun’s. “So, what are you going to do now?”

“Kill him, for one.” Yoochun’s smile is manic as it takes over his face. “Then I think I’ll reform Manticore, make it something more. Something better.”

He can’t help but snort. “And let me guess, then you’re going to take over the world?”

“You know, I do like the sound of that,” Yoochun says. He shrugs in the end after a moment of thought. “But who knows what tomorrow will bring! First thing, though,” he says and points the gun at Kyungsoo, “I’m going to kill you.”

Kyungsoo smirks. “Not if I kill you first.”

“And how will you accomplish that 452? You’re unarmed!”

In the very center of the room stands a table with various vials and flasks and other things, Kyungsoo gets as close to that as he can, smirk never leaving his face as he watches Yoochun. “Because, they’re going to set off the bombs now.”

One second after the words leave his mouth the room shakes as each one goes off, one right after another.

Kyungsoo’s on the floor in the next moment he’s aware of himself, the room his spinning even when he doesn’t open his eyes and everything is sore. He can hear the crackle of a fire off to his left somewhere, or maybe that’s his right. He isn’t sure. Kyungsoo is honestly amazed he’s even alive after that, but he doubts Yoochun is. He needs to get up though, he needs to move. Even if he’s alive now he can’t stay here, someone will find him and—

“Nice try, 452,” comes Yoochun’s voice from the other side of the room. It’s strained but still strong enough that Kyungsoo forces his eyes open and hopes the room isn’t going to spin. “But it seems your plan failed.”

He forces himself up on steady feet and looks around before looking for Yoochun. Each glass wall is shattered, all the vials broken. Kyungsoo smiles. “No, my plan worked,” he says. “The DNA lab is destroyed.” His eyes fall on Yoochun then, as he lays spread eagle on the floor. He forces himself up onto his elbows, struggling and looks around the room, horror taking over his face.

“No,” Yoochun mumbles, disbelief evident in his tone. “It can’t be, you didn’t.”

Kyungsoo laughs, hysterically. “But I did! It’s done.”

He seems frozen in that moment, muttering “no” repeatedly under his breath and it honestly tickles Kyungsoo. He’s never seen Yoochun such a mess before. Always calm, cool, and collected. Always composed and put together, but now? Now Yoochun is just as broken as Kyungsoo has felt every day of his life, and it’s liberating. His tormenter is nothing but a broken, demented man.

Yoochun seems to find his voice again after a minute or so of this, trying to pull himself back together. His glare is less frightening than it’s ever been and Kyungsoo can’t remember why it ever bothered him before. “That was a very shameful thing you did, 452. You’ve destroyed millions of dollars worth of research, of experiments.”

Kyungsoo’s legs wobble under him just a bit, and he realizes that while he’s not nearly as bad off as Yoochun, being caught in an explosion hurts a lot. He knows he shouldn’t be alive, but he’s not worried about himself anymore. He’s okay with dying here now. “Tell it to someone who cares, Yoochun.”

“You’ve destroyed yourself, 452!” Yoochun shouts and that seems to strike a chord somewhere deep down inside Kyungsoo.

“No,” He snaps back. “I destroyed some test tube experiment that would only be a copy of me. And my name is not 452, it’s Kyungsoo.” He spots the gun by Yoochun’s foot and darts out to grab it quickly before he notices it.

Kyungsoo's heart is beating, thumping against his chest, ready to jump right out with how hard it's pumping his blood through his body. His lungs burn with exertion as he pants. Everything in his entire life has been leading up to this exactly moment and he's positive if he wasn't so numb to everything right now, he'd be filled with endless joy to see Yoochun battered and bloody on the floor beneath him. His mouth is covered in blood, hair disheveled and there's a giant gash along his hairline. He stares up at Kyungsoo with a manic smile on his face. "How the mighty have fallen, 452."

He clenches his teeth. "My name is Kyungsoo."

Yoochun lets out a wet laugh, head rolling back on his shoulders as he struggles to keep himself propped up on his elbows. "Don't you ever get tired of saying that? Fighting to prove that you're just like everyone else?"

"Don't you ever get tired of the sound of your own voice?"

"What, you don't think I sound like an angel? That hurts my feelings 452." Even as he says it, voice full of confidence, Kyungsoo can see the wear in Yoochun's face, the unease in his eyes as they slip away from his face and look behind Kyungsoo.

"There's no one to help you, Yoochun," Kyungsoo says, shifting his stance to gain his gaze once more. "You're all on your own."

He scoffs. "Am I supposed to be afraid of _you_ Please." Yoochun pushes himself up farther into a sitting position and carefully slides his body back, legs trailing uselessly after him in a slow drag across the floor. "You're weak 452, you've always been weak. In a way, it's that quality that makes you a great asset to me, but to everyone else you're a liability." He looks back over his shoulder, undoubtedly gauging the distance between his current position and the wall he's looking to prop himself against. "It was fun, watching you try to protect the ones you love all the while hurting them in the end. That's all you ever do, isn't it 452? Hurt people."

The gun feels warm and heavy in his hands and everything in him is screaming at him to drop it, that there are other ways to take care of this, but he doesn't. There's only one real way to put an end to everything, to stop Yoochun once and for all.

"Even now, you can't even bring yourself to shoot me." Yoochun's panting now, short of breath as he drags himself across the floor. "You'll never be able to do it, just like you couldn't kill Donghae when he posed a threat to your life, or how you couldn't leave your friends when you knew they were in danger, and just like how you couldn't kill Junmyeon once you found out who he was." Kyungsoo knows he's buying time, dragging it out in hope that maybe someone will come to save him, and Kyungsoo knows that there's a small possibility that someone could show up. "You're pathetic and weak." He smiles, head lulling back against the wall he's pressed himself against, teeth covered in blood.

"Killing people isn't the only solution." He isn't sure why he's even arguing this and by the laugh that Yoochun gives, this wet thing that sounds like he's drowning in it, he doesn't agree with Kyungsoo.

"Even now, you're taking the coward's way out, pathetic 452."

"Stop calling me that, my name is Kyungsoo."

Yoochun hums and lets his eyes fall closed. "Why do you want to be like everyone else so badly, anyway? Transgenics are so much more impressive than humans. You're stronger, faster, more intelligent. For the most part anyway." He leans his head to the side and spits out a mouthful of blood. "What is it about humanity that appeals to you, _Kyungsoo_?"

He shouldn't answer that, should either just kill Yoochun or leave him here to hopefully die on his own, but Kyungsoo can't bring himself to do either. "Being away from you, for one."

"Am I really so terrible?" He asks.

Kyungsoo can't believe what he's hearing. "Is that even a question. You torture me! I almost died when I was a child because I was a fucking lab experiment."

"Oh, 452," Yoochun says. "Even human children have that risk. The death rate in transgenic children doesn't set you on another level of suffering from them."

"You don't get it, do you? Every day was a constant remind that I was something other, something different from those guards, the doctors, the soldiers, from HyunJong. Every single second day of my life, of all of our lives is this endless drilling into our heads that tells us 'you're a freak'." He's never honestly thought about it like that, not until he had to hide it from Minseok for so long, but the feeling was there in some way or another, even if as a child he didn't know how to put it into words. "It was this contradiction of 'you're the strongest soldier ever to live' and 'you're nothing but a puppet'. That's enough to drive anyone insane."

He scoffs. "That's your problem, you spend so much of your time _thinking_ about everything. You could never just exist, just listen to what you were told." Yoochun shifts against the wall, slumps a little lower. "You could've been one of the best, 452. A high ranking soldier, best in your section, respected, but instead you had to waste your time thinking and feeling, making you one of my greatest failures."

In another world, that might hurt more than it actually does, tear Kyungsoo apart from the inside out and leave him feeling hollow and empty. There's part of him, a tiny sliver, that is hurt by it, but nothing so deep and all consuming that he doesn't think he'll never go on. It's almost freeing in a way, more so than escaping in '09, than living freely for ten years with only minor inconveniences. Kyungsoo finds there's this sudden weight lifted off his shoulders.

"No," he says.

Yoochun spares a glance at him, looking almost bored. "No?"

Kyungsoo looks down at the gun in his hand and adjusts his grip on it, curling his fingers tighter. "I'm not a failure, Yoochun." He steps closer to Yoochun's limp figure propped against the wall, closing the distance between them. "I"m just human, and humans have flaws."

He closes his eyes and laughs once more, the movement shakes through his body and he turns his head to the side just a bit. "When are you going to let all that go, 452?"

"The only thing that I need to let go is you." Before he can second guess it, Kyungsoo lifts up the gun and fires, shooting Yoochun in the head. The shot echos around him in the empty room, ringing in his head along with the beat of his heart against his chest. The gun falls from his hand as he stares at Yoochun's lifeless figure, propped against the wall, blood seeping down the side of his face.

In this very moment, Kyungsoo wants nothing more than to cry, to fall to his knees and let everything out, but he can't. He just stares at Yoochun's body for a bit longer before saying, "My name is Kyungsoo and I'm not weak. I'm just human, unlike you."

 

*

 

Kyungsoo stands at the edge of the woods, watching at Manticore burns impossibly bright. He's just on the outskirts of the shadows, not trying to hide but ready to do so if he needs to. It doesn't feel real, if he's being honest. He's had dreams like this before, watching Manticore burn to the ground after he's taken care of HyunJong and/or Yoochun but now that the moment is really here, he doesn't know how to feel.

Minseok finds him there, looking a little battered and bruised, but still in one piece. Later, when the shock of it all wear off, Kyungsoo will fuss over him, be upset that he got caught in the crossfire, but relieved that Minseok was there anyway. For the time being he's just happy to have a friend at his side. "Now what?"

He never thought about the after, it almost seemed too impossible. It was too much to hope for that he'd have an after. Kyungsoo honestly thought he'd end up dead before he'd see the end of Manticore, but here he is. "Now we move on with our lives." Whatever that means. Kyungsoo doesn't think life will ever be the same as it was before. There's a whole new slew of transgenics in the world, most likely resulting in a new mess Kyungsoo will have to deal with but that's a problem for another day, he decides.

"You sure you can do that?" Minseok asks.

Kyungsoo shrugs. "Only time will tell, right?"

The smile that takes over Minseok's face tells Kyungsoo that he said the right thing. "Time, fixer of all things."

Kyungsoo doesn't know if that's true or not, but he's not supposed to know everything. He doesn't know what's going to happen to Sehun out here in the world, or if he'll be friends with Minseok until their old and crotchety, or if he'll ever truly remember Junmyeon from before rather than just know him after. He doesn't know if he'll ever get over Byulyi's death, or the fact that he'll never truly know if all his other siblings are dead, or where HyunJong went. Kyungsoo doesn't even know if he'll get up tomorrow morning.

All he does know is that Manticore is gone, Yoochun is dead, and that Minseok is still his best friend after everything that's happened. Kyungsoo knows that in this very moment, everything is as perfect as it'll ever be, and the rest he'll figure out with time.


End file.
